I hoped you like! It would've come alot sooner if it weren't for some...bitches, yeah, bitches.

disclaimer: don't own naruto

AT THE DAILY AKATSUKI MEETING, around 6-ish(pm)

"Report" a man with orange hair, and way too many piercings, ordered the group from the super comfy, fluffy, and awesome chair(they all call it different names, but Pein is the one sitting in it and calls it Teddy, so let's call it that for now. This is important, trust me).

"Well, there's going to be a new loony at our cozy little asylum. I heard that he's(remember, this is a newly turned coed asylum, though they had no clue that had happened since what kind of sick bastard judge would send a frail, unstable woman to an asylum completely consisting of insane/ly hot macho men?) either going to the Leaf dorm or ours." Kisame answered while eying Teddy enviously.

"TOBI IS HAPPY TOBI IS GETTING A NEW FRIEND!" Tobi shouted, now skipping in circles, not noticing the menacing blood thirsty aura emanating from his fellow members from behind him.

"Forget this idiot, what are we gonna do for the guy if he does get into the Akatsuki dorms, yeah? It's tradition for us to throw a party (it's sorta like a birthday party, but it's the birth of you becoming a member of the dorm. Like fraternity brothers or some shit like that, no wait. Exactly like that!) and get drunk!" Deidara said.

"You have a point." Pein murmured. "Did you find out any personal information?" the leader asked Kisame and Itachi, who was with Kisame during their little 'trip' to the staff room. "Even though he is only 17 he is a fully licensed doctor." Itachi said in monotone.

"Wait, huh? When the hell did you look at his personal file?" Kisame asked, obviously confused. "When you were fantasizing about the new 'warden' and her attendant." Itachi answered plainly. Kisame made an "oh" sound and stood quietly in his 'corner of pride' muttering 'I like strong women'. "Continue" ordered the leader.

"He's here for schizophrenia." "So avoid normal things and make crazy stuff so they appear normal, yeah (really really likely that's bullshit)." "Though small, he is impossibly strong and athletic." "I call weights!" Kisame shouted from his 'corner of pride'.

"He dealt with his problem before with puppets," "I'll take care of that (Kakuzu)." "He grew his own medicinal herbs," "I've got a few I could put aside in the greenhouse (plants, which should make it obvious)." "Has a short temper and is very violent," "I'm your fucking (you had to expect this) guy." "And is Goth." Itachi finished.

"I'll give him a piercing, Sasori, you make him a puppet. Itachi, supply a Goth care package. Tobi," "Yes leader!" "Bake him something." "No problem!" "You already know what you get food-wise. Akatsuki, head out!" finished Pein.

Thanks for the reviews! I didn't plan on adding any romance but I could definitely weave in some kisses and dirty dares! That wasn't Deidara in the first chap. I didn't think about but I now know she was Konan and the aftershave is a very complicated and funny story with Tobi, Deidara, Sasori, Chouji, Shikamaru, Naruto, and Kiba + Akamaru. I will probably put that somewhere in there, whether it be a chapter alone, or within a chapter and someone is telling it from the guilty party. I decided she would be a cool punk who just didn't give a shit. And she has short hair, so sorry 'long haired sakura' fans. Speaking of Sakura, when I said 'frail, unstable woman', Sakura is no frail and unstable woman. Theres a bit of a backstory both how she got into KMI and family-wise. A few snipets of information for you, schizophrenia is not only hearing voices but seeing and all that shit is distorted, so Sakura prov next chapter could get funky. Kisame's 'corner of pride' is 'when he did something shameful or something but was totally worth it' corner. Itachi is still emo and there is still an emo corner! I just didn't want Sakura to be emo, and I really hate using the word goth when emo is there. I know Kono/ha, they both mean the samething, is Leaf in Japanese, but it was either that or Sora or Toad, wich would complicate things. Story with Tobi will be found out like this: every chapter after the next one will be about sakura and an akatsuki member so in each chapter, who ever the dude is, you'll find out why he's here, or there, then. Feel free to put a possible chair name and person who calls it that in a review. I was thinking of Sharen for Kisame, but I'm not cetain. Hidan's, I was thinking something throne or something realy girly and out of character. Sorry about the long author's notes and this one. There won't be as many and as long next time. This thing won't be as long either. Just wanted to give you some answers now before you ask them later. I'll update as soon as I can.

Stormycloud9