Oh My god!!! I can tell you right now that taking pictures with two toddlers in it is not a good idea. We spent seven hours just to take five damn pictures. It ended up with one crying 14 month old. God my life sucks! So here is an update!!! Sorry it took so goddamn long! RAWR!!!!

Disclaimer- Does it look like I own this? If I did, Bella would be killed, Edward would be having a threesome with Jacob and Chris, and James would be raping Salem! But I don't so there!

Chapter 2

VaMpY AnD WoLfY UnItE!!!

The woman narrowed her eyes. They flashed red briefly before she growled. Chris widened his eyes before putting his hands up in a surrendering way.

"Woah, lady! Cease fire! Obviously I have offended you somehow! "

"A witch," She hissed, "Last that I checked, they were evil! You have come to this town to bring misfortune with your trickery!"

Chris gave her an odd look, "Evil? Really? What witch did you meet?"

"A male witch by the name of Salem S-"

"Saberhagen?"

She nodded as Chris groaned and smacked his head. She looked at him with guarded curiosity.

"When was this meeting exactly?" Chris asked.

"In about the end of the 1800s. Why?" She asked while glaring at him.

"Well, he now has been punished with 100 years as a cat for trying to take over the world. It's quite funny to watch him play with a ball of yarn."

The lady's face turned skeptical as Chris laughed in humor of the image in his head. He stopped when he noticed that the lady wasn't the only one staring at him. His face flushed brightly as he coughed lightly and drank his smoothie. The lady smiled briefly before holding out her hand.

"Esme Cullen."

Chris grinned widely and shook the hand, "Chris Perry."

"Well dear Chris, I must be going," she said as she stood up, "I have a dinner to cook."

Chris waved goodbye to her before drinking his smoothie again. He finished it and headed out. Chris' home was in the forest. Not just any forest, but the Werewolves' forest. Their territory. Granted, Chris wasn't in his right mind when choosing the location of his home, but he seriously was regretting it now. Salem was at home, most likely sleeping, and the werewolves were standing outside his home. Man, did they look pissed.

Chris winced before preparing to orb. One of the wolves saw him and alerted the others. Chris smiled sheepishly as he orbed in white and blue lights, reappearing in his living room. He relaxed his shoulders and let out a huff of air. Man, was that scary.

"Well, this isn't something ya see every day," the cat on the sofa said.

Chris glared at him, "Shut it, Salem! Next thing ya know, everyone'll unite to hunt me down!"

Later on, Chris decided it was better to shut his mouth about things like that.

Chris promised that the next person to knock on his door would be dead. It was twelve o'clock and the visitors kept coming! First, it was the vampires saying that they wanted to kill him before they killed him. Then it was the werewolves that wanted to rip his throat apart for being on their land. After that, it was Clarence and Jesse. It took him two hours to get the last two out of his house.

Clarence was the Arch Angel of Death. Jesse was the only Angel of Fate around. In the magical world, they were the two that controlled everything. After all, the two most important things to people were when they died and what would become of them.

They had decided it was a good idea to check up on their ward. Ok, just because they rewarded him with a new life, doesn't mean he's their new 'toy'. Chris hated them! First, they gave him eternal life. Then they sentenced Salem to live with him as his Familiar and freaking companion till the end of time! Finally, they send him to the past to get a good feel of the world.

They were idiots!!!!!

When the doorbell rang again and someone knocked frantically on his door did Chris finally decide to commit his first murder.

Ok, so it's a short as hell chapter. I'm sorry! But only, like one person reviewed!!! I like how you all add me to your faves and all, but I want reviews!!! They are the window to your mind that tell me whether or not my story is good or total shit! THANK YOU!!!!!!!_