One Of These Days Life Will Stop Sucking
Wrong
It was now, months later, that Kenny recalled the half hearted question his friend had asked all those months ago.
Not due to sudden particular interest but out of amusing irony as his current situation came into focus.
Across from him, at a very neat table, sat the ghastly hooded figure that Kenneth had had the innate pleasure of meeting a few times in his life; the most memorable being when he had spent a few hours running away from him with his friends. He'd never forget the sight of Stan's grandpa chasing them with demands for death.
…damn, that old fart was still alive, wasn't he? Kenny couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the irony.
Death from his position across the table didn't share the mirth and instead deadpanned the young adult, SO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MUST DO?
Kenny's smile faded somewhat and he nodded mildly, "More or less. Go back, save town, stop villain, thems the basics right?"
YES, Death responded, seeming satisfied with the analysis.
"Can I ask one itsy question though?" Kenny piped, raising his hand weakly.
Death was unaffected, GO AHEAD.
"…why me?"
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN. YOU DO NOT FULLY EXIST IN THIS REALITY AND THEREBY ARE UNABLE TO AFFECT THE CURRENT OF TIME.
Well that would make sense of a lot of things… Kenny refrained from grumbling something rude, this all sounded more trouble than it was worth, and finally nodded decidedly, "And I don't have a choice, right?"
WHEN DO YOU EVER? Was Death's bland attempt at humor.
Oddly, Kenny did find it funny, "Sounds about right." Getting to his feet he walked to the kitchen to grab a beer, "When do I get started?"
Something strange was happening in South Park. Of course there was always something strange happening in South Park but this sincerely gave Kyle a bad feeling and not only because Cartman seemed to be involved.
For starters the children seemed… tense. Kyle honestly wouldn't have noticed except for he happened to be babysitting when things started getting odd. Suddenly both of Stan's nephews had gone from completely relaxed to tense and on edge, as if something was seriously wrong.
The trend continued with other children he saw. Every child in South Park seemed to have sensed something very, very bad.
The second sign that things were not indeed right was Cartman's absence. Sure the maniac had a tendency to go off the map for some crazy adventure or another but it was incredibly rare that he ever did so without at least dragging one of their 'merry band' with him. Cartman hated being alone.
The final thing that had sent a chill down the man's spine and convinced him that something was not as it should be was the irresistible urge to wash dishes.
It was a silly thing but something about the urge gave him a surge of panic. Like something was distinctly missing and this loss would send everything else spiraling into disarray.
And to make matters worse he couldn't seem to even look at the color orange without feeling extreme dread and worry.
"What would your past self tell you if they had the chance?"
((Ending Notes: pooo shorter than I wanted but I covered everything I wanted to in this chappy~ next chappy will be longer (there's way moar to cover)
Hope peeps liked it! Please review~
-a slightly exhausted Muse.))