Chapter 1

This meeting was making her nervous. She wasn't even sure why. She'd seen Stephanie countless times over the years and never had she felt that way beforehand. This strange feeling in her stomach couldn't be because of her. It had to be something else. Well, whatever it was, it was affecting her appetite.

"You're losing your mind, Kel. You're losing your mind," Kelly said to herself while throwing away her untouched food. Her hands were shaking so badly that suddenly the plate slipped through her fingers and fell down on the floor breaking to tiny pieces.

"Oh my god," she whispered and leaned against the kitchen counter. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and counted to ten. It didn't help. She had to get out of her apartment. Confined spaces and unexplainable nervousness didn't go well together. Too many possibilities to break something. She grabbed her trench and purse from the couch and headed out.

Silvercup Studios hadn't changed a bit. At least the office space, the dressing rooms and most of the people hadn't. There were different names on the doors, but well, you can't have a writers room for Gossip Girl, if it isn't airing anymore. Kelly felt nostalgic. Nostalgic in a good way. In a 'this-still-feels-like-home' kind of way.

She was staring at a photo wall, which consisted of different pictures from all the television shows that had been filmed in Silvercup over the years: 30 Rock, White Collar, The Sopranos, Sex and the City, but most importantly Gossip Girl. The group photograph they had done for season 3 had pride of place on the wall. Evereybody looked so young, so beautiful, so elegant. Her mind drifted back to the day of the photo shoot. She and Matt were having a really good time, so they decided to prolong the day and have dinner at her place. It was the first time they were together with noone else around. Just the two of them eating their pasta, listening to some music and talking about their fucked up lives. Kelly remembered how they were looking into each other's eyes saying nothing, but wanting to say everything. She remembered the feeling she had – like this was the start of something.

"That's a great picture of you guys," here reverie was stopped by a woman's voice on her right. Kelly jumped a little and placed a hand on her heart.

"Oh, my god, Stephanie, you startled me a bit," she took a deep breath and swallowed hard, before smiling and pulling her into a hug. "Hi, it's so good to see you!"

"Hi, you too" Stephanie answered and pulled away from Kelly. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you."

"It's alright, I'm just unusually jumpy today."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes... Well, I am a litlle nervous, I guess. You know, about your sudden call and all."

Stephanie smiled. "I promise there's nothing to worry about. It's all good news. Well if it is news at all."

Kelly furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I don't follow you."

"Come, let's go to an office and I'll explain everything!"

The office was all white walls, dark wood and huge windows. It was big and very luminous. Kelly had never been there. It seemed it was the place where some big shot was making moves. Gone was the all familiar homey feeling. If anything, this place was making her more nervous. Well, that's a serious miscalculation on Steph's part, she thought to herself. Stephanie sat down and Kelly followed suit, sitting across from her.

"Okay, fill me in and do it fast, or I will get a heart attack soon!"

Stephanie chuckled. "Amn... What would you say, if I'd tell you there are movie plans floating around in my mind? Movie plans for Gossip Girl?"

Kelly's mouth fell open and she didn't know where to start, what to say. "Wha... I'd... I mean," she stuttered, "is this for real? I know there have been speculations about a movie for years, but I never thought we'd actually do it."

"Well it isn't REAL yet, but it will get much more real, if you and Matt will say yes," Stephanie stated calmly.

Kelly raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Look, the thing is, we can't start the production if we are not sure we will get all the actors we want. At this point it's not only the main cast we had in season six. If we will do a movie we want Taylor and Paolo to be part of it... One hundred percent of the time, but convincing them will not be easy. And... If we give a look at Blake's schedule, well... It's quite full, to say the least."

"So... What's the plan?"

Stephanie smiled. "The plan, as you said, is to start pursuing these people from the cast, who will much more likely give the movie a green light."

"Meaning me and Matthew," Kelly stated.

"Yes. I mean, not you nor Matthew are engaged in any long term projects right now, you've always talked very fondly about the show, you're both very close to the crew and also to eachother... I mean you guys loved working together."

Exactly, Stephanie. Loved. Past tense, Kelly thought.

It wasn't that she didn't want to work with Matt. She did, very much, but she wasn't sure how it would all turn out. Would it be as awkward as it was the last time they met? Would they be as close as they used to? Would they get the same feelings they got when they filmed in the past? Would they kiss? Whoa... Slow your roll, Kel, you don't even know if it's happening right now, she snapped at herself.

"Kelly, I'm not expecting you to say yes right now. I will send you some of our thoughts and propositions about the movie. Just think about it. Talk to Matt, discuss it with him and when the time is right I'll give you a call. And... Don't forget, just because you agree to do the movie doesn't mean everyone else will. It just gives me and Josh a better position, when we start convincing the others."

Kelly was slowly making her way out of the Silvercup studios. She was deep in thought, thinking about everything, but concentrating on nothing. Her wheels were turning faster than ever. Kelly stepped out and felt how the cool October breeze was caressing her face. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and just stood there for a minute, letting the wind clear her mind. Right at the moment she thought about leaving, Kelly heard a familiar voice breaking the silence she was enjoying.

"Even with your back turned towards me I can see how fast your wheels are turning!"

Her breath hitched and her heart started beating so fast she could swear it was in her throat. He was still affecting her the way anyone else ever had. Kelly was sure she had forgotten how to breathe.

"You're not talking to me," he asked her, disappointment clear in his voice.

Kelly swallowed hard and turned around slowly. There he was.

He was wearing a black suit, white dress shirt with a black tie. His green eyes were burning, his hair was a little messy. He looks so much better than I remember, Kelly thought to herself, so much better than when we last met. He is so handsome. Too handsome. Kelly was studying his face, taking in every bit of it. His eyes. His stubble. His hair. Yes, his hair. It seemed to be longer. Almost as long when they first met. She was suddenly feeling the urge to brush it from his eyes, run her fingers through it, stroke it.

"Hi," he whispered. "You look beautiful, Kel... As always."

That's when she understood it. He was nervous... But nervous about what exactly? About her reaction or about her presence in general? Was she affecting him too? Whatever it was, it was giving Kelly the much needed strength to compose herself. She let out the breath she was holding and smiled.

"Hi, Matt. How have you been?"