Chapter 2

October 27, 1981

The next morning, James woke up at 4 in the morning from a nightmare. He looked to his right and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his Lily sleeping peacefully.

'She's not dead,' he told himself. 'Everything is fine.'

Despite his calming words to Lily after her nightmare, James was terrified. He didn't want to lose either of them. His family was so precious to him, especially since his own parents had died. He wanted to be the best husband to Lily and best father to Harry, and he would die for them. Willingly, if it meant that they would live.

"How long do we have to live in fear?" he whispered.

Next to hm, Lily stirred. He smoothed her hair back from her forehead, hoping she would keep sleeping. She was exhausted, he knew. He knew her well enough to be able to tell.

When he saw that she seemed to be sleeping again, he put on his glasses, then got up and went to Harry's room. His one year-old son was sitting up, blinking sleepily.

"Hey, troublemaker, what are you doing up?"

Harry smiled when he saw his father, and reached out for him. James picked him up and cuddled him close to his chest.

"Dadada," Harry said proudly.

"Clever boy," James smiled.

"He takes after his father." James turned and saw Lily standing in the doorway, a small smile on her face.

"No, he definitely takes after his mother," he replied.

She laughed. "Look at him, Potter. Like father, like son."

He shifted Harry to one arm, and reached out his free arm to Lily. She walked over to him, and he wrapped his arm around her. His beautiful family.

"Why are you up so early?" he asked.

"I was going to ask you that."

"I asked first," he said teasingly.

"I heard you get up. Why are you up so early?"

"I, uh..." James didn't want to tell her about his nightmare, and he tried to think of something else.

"Don't lie to me," she said softly. "You had a nightmare, didn't you?"

He nodded. "I'm scared, Lily."

She slipped her arm around his waist. "Me too."

"I'm trying to be optimistic. I'm trying to be brave, but..." His voice trailed off.

"Whatever happens," she said softly, "I love you, and I always will."

"And I love you," he replied. "I always have, I always will."

"You know, don't you, that I would-- that I will-- willingly die for you?"

"I don't doubt it," he said quietly. "You know I'd do the same for you, I just hope it won't come to that."

"You're scared." It wasn't a question, he could tell from the way she said it.

"Lily--"

"James," she said softly.

He blinked back tears. "I'm terrified," he choked.

"Oh James," she whispered, pulling him closer. "James, I-- sometimes I think the Sorting Hat shouldn't have put me in Gryffindor."

"Bollocks," he said firmly. "You're the bravest person I know."

"Don't be daft," she said with a slight smile.

He looked down and saw that Harry had fallen back asleep. Careful not to wake him up, James laid his one year-old son back in the crib.

"Hasn't been awake for long and already needs a kip," James laughed as they closed the door to Harry's room.

She laughed, but abruptly stopped and looked down.

"What's nagging you?" he asked gently.

"You know," she responded forcefully.

"Lils."

She wrapped her arms around his middle. "Just hold me."

He didn't hesitate to enfold her. "I've half a mind to snog you senseless," he whispered.

"Missing the Hogwarts broom closets?" she mumbled against his chest.

"Why, Mrs. Potter!"

"Shut it, Potter."

"Do you want some breakfast?"

"I want my mum," came the soft reply, and then she broke down in tears.

"Shh, Lily, everyth--" He stopped short. Everything was not fine. He couldn't keep lying to her or himself.

"I can't be strong, I can't be brave," she sobbed. "Every day I keep trying, but it's... it's not enough. I can't convince myself that we'll be fine. We're gonna die, aren't we?"

"We don't know that," he murmured, stroking her hair. "Anything could happen."

"Exactly."

"Lily, I can't pretend I know future. I don't. I have no idea what will happen to us, but--" His voice broke. "I'm trying to be strong, for you."

"You're my lifeline," she whispered, tilting her face up to his.

He slowly pressed his lips to hers, claiming them in a soft kiss. When he pulled away, he kissed her forehead. "I'm never going anywhere. We're in this together."

"I'm so glad, you have no idea." Her breath tickled his face.

"I have some idea," he responded, kissing her again.