A/N all previous disclaimers apply.
Booth returned home from his weekly trip to the cemetery. Each Friday, he made the trip to place fresh flowers on her grave, as well as her mother's.
He flipped on the TV as he walked to the kitchen to get a beer. He wanted, maybe needed, something stronger, but he knew he could not get drunk right now. He had to stay sober so he could work the next day. There had been way too many days in the last few months he'd been too hungover to get out of bed.
Cullen spoken to him privately about his 'problem'. When that hadn't had any noticeable effect, he ordered Booth to attend counseling. Booth refused to admit he had a problem and had ended up on probation. Every case he was given, he had to file daily reports. Of course, the cases were usually wrapped up in a matter of days, if not hours. Low-end and low-priority cases that the average rookie would have laughed at.
Booth finally caved and started seeing Sweets again. It was hard walking into the shrink's office, knowing that Bones would not be there waiting for one of their sessions. During the first of these new sessions. he was keenly aware of the empty space on the couch.
Booth snapped out of his self-pity when the evening news came on.
Nearly six months to the day, the man believed responsible for the death of famed mystery writer and forensic anthropologist, Temprance Brennan has been arrested. Daniel Halcomb is also suspected in the deaths of three other woman in the DC area. Dr. Brennan, as you may remember, died while saving Halcomb's possible fourth victim from an attempted abduction.
Booth stood in his living room transfixed by Bones' image on his TV screen. He knew, pretty much right down to the minute how long Bones had been gone, but it was a shock to hear it announced like that. Nearly six months. Almost half of a was still hard to think about her and not feel a tightening around his heart.
He brushed his fingers over a picture of her on top of his TV as he passed by, "I miss you, Bones. Everyday."
Booth stopped short when he got a slight whiff of her perfume. He pause and inhaled. Nothing. He had been having, well, he didn't know what to call them. He'd smelled her perfume once before, when he was standing at her grave. But he brushed it off at the smell of some flowers. He thought he saw her standing at his bedroom door one night, but that, he was sure, was an alcohol-induced hallucination. Did he miss her so much that his mind was making him think she was still around? Damn, maybe he did need those therapy sessions with Sweets.
Monday afternoon rolled around and Booth had an appointment with Sweets. He debated telling him what he was seeing, feeling, and smelling. He was sure that it had something to do with the grieving process, but, well, maybe not.
Sweets was a few minutes late for their session, so Booth took his seat and waited. When Sweets entered, Booth noticed he didn't look like the same kid that he and Bones worked with such a short time ago. He looked more serious and realized that he and Angela weren't he only one who missed Bones. The kid missed her, too. And her death had taken a toll on all of them.
"Agent Booth, I'm sorry for the delay. I had another patient who ran over a little."
Booth shook his head, "No problem. I don't really think this is going to be very productive day."
"Why is that?" Sweets wanted to know.
"I went to the cemetery yesterday. It still feels so.." Booth trailed off and shrugged.
"Maybe you stay away for a while. Until the pain is a little more manageable."
Booth shook his head, "Nope, can't do that. I take her fresh flowers every Friday. Daffodils and daisies. I owe her that much, at least."
Sweets nodded.
Booth, never one to feel comfortable with silence, began to speak. "Sometimes, I don't know, it's like she's still here. I'll be in the middle of something and I will see something out of the corner of my eye. And just for a moment, I'll think it's her."
Sweets watched him for a moment, with his hands together and propped under his chin. "I would think that's normal. How do you feel when you think she's still with you?"
Booth glanced up at the young doctor. How the hell do you think I feel? was his first thought. He said, "Good. Just for that brief moment, everything is good. Then I remember." Booth lowered his head, his shoulders shaking.
Sweets was sure he was crying, but when Booth raised his head once again, he was laughing. "You know, sometimes, I think I'm loosing my mind."
"How so?"
"Never mind. It's not important."
"You brought it up, Agent Booth. Tell me."
Booth sighed, "Last night, I came across some pictures taken at Parker's last birthday party. There were a lot of Bones and Parker together. And a few of the three of us. I started thinking about that day and how relaxed she was and how much fun we'd had. I mean, it was a 7 year-old's party, but we really did have fun. Just relaxing, hanging out." Booth smiled, thinking about that day once again. "Well, I guess I kinda got lost in thought and I...just for a second, felt her beside me. I could feel her arm around my shoulder, like she was leaning in to look at the pictures with me."
Sweets didn't really know what to say. He started to speak, but Booth stopped him.
"I'm sure you know that Bones and I didn't even come close to the same beliefs. She was an Atheist and I am Catholic. She believed that once you died, that was it, no more. Eternal darkness, nothing after this. But when I felt her beside me, I sensed that she was at peace."
"That's important to you." Sweets said.
"Yeah. Yeah, it is."