"When did Harris develop fashion sense?" Harmony asked in shock on spotting Xander in the hall dressed nicely.
"Since I got tired of having my retinas scarred and explained things to him," Cordelia replied as she gathered her schoolbooks.
Aura raised an eyebrow. "European cut, you can tell from the way they reversed the fold. Even if he's a loser, he's a well-dressed loser and my retinas thank you."
Aphrodesia chuckled. "A man who makes something of himself is much more impressive than a man who is made something of."
"I can't tell if that's a complement or an insult," Harmony said after a minute.
"If he improves himself it's a complement, if he goes back to assaulting our fashion sense it's an insult," Aphrodesia explained.
"Works for me," Aura said.
"Did you borrow my earrings?" Harmony asked as she saw the expensive princess cut sapphires Cordelia was wearing.
"You never loan those out," reminded her. "But I described them to my grandmother so she got me a pair to match."
"Don't they cost somewhere around thirty grand?" Aura asked.
"Thirty seven," Harmony replied. "Flawless sapphires of that size and rarity have increased in value this year."
"And they took forever to find," Cordelia said. "Well worth it though. You have excellent taste in earrings."
"Thanks," Harmony said.
"What is with the new clothes?" Buffy asked Xander, far enough away to not hear the Cordettes talking.
"Cordy gave me some advice and fashion is one area, which I'll admit she had a superior grasp on," Xander replied. "Since I can buy my own clothes, I figured I might as well take some pride in my appearance."
The bell rang and Xander hurried to the door.
Buffy shook Willow who was staring at the departing Xander with a hint of drool. "Wakey, wakey, time for class."
"Class?" Willow blinked recovering.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"You are very different on this side of the mirror," Xander noted, as Cordelia sat on the table and ate her yogurt with a sunny smile on her face.
"No one's watching me here," Cordelia said. "There aren't dozens of people analyzing my every move and reporting back to my parents." She belched loudly.
Xander laughed. "I doubt it's actually that bad."
"Well it sure feels like it sometimes and I'm not the only one who's different here," she pointed out.
"Actually you are," Xander replied. "I'm different because I've had the life and times of several people crammed into my head, not because of the side of the mirror I'm on."
"Are you telling me the fact that you can just walk around time on this side of the mirror, buck naked and piss on Snyder's desk before setting fire to his car with no repercussions, has no effect on you?" Cordelia demanded.
Xander thought about that. "You make a compelling argument."
"I've never felt as free as I do when I'm here," Cordelia said unbuttoning her shirt.
"I do get that impression," Xander agreed with a lustful grin while unbuttoning his own.
It took less than a minute for the two to strip completely and Xander blessed his teenage endurance.
"To Snyder's desk!" Cordelia swore, downing her soda and bouncing off.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"Why do you smell like…arson?" Willow guessed as Xander slid into the seat next to her at the Bronze.
" Arson has a smell?" he asked.
"I smell gasoline and burnt plastics," Buffy agreed.
"Well as it turns out, Hollywood lied to me, it actually takes quite a bit of effort and a few gallons of gasoline sprinkled liberally to torch a car."
The girls stared at him wide eyed.
"Snyder's car," he explained.
"That's a relief- I mean, bad, Xander," Buffy said lamely obviously conflicted.
"The mirror version," Xander added.
"Good Xander," Buffy said. "But bad for not inviting me."
"I had to take off all my clothes to avoid getting gasoline on myself," he said.
"So naked chanting and dancing around a burning car?" Buffy asked with a grin.
"I may also have shaken a makeshift torch in the air," Xander agreed.
"Who smells like arson?" a guy Xander didn't know asked as he walked up.
"OK, I'm off to shower and change," Xander said. "Scorched rubber is just not my scent."
"Ford?" Buffy asked in surprise.
"Buffy!" he greeted her cheerfully.
"What are you doing here?"
"I transferred in," he said cheerfully. "The 'rents move and I have to follow. What's with your friend?"
Buffy looked over and saw that Willow's eyes were glazed over and there was a touch of drool.
"Naked Xander," Willow said softly.
"Looks like she blew a lobe," Buffy said with a snicker.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
*The Next Day*
"Eventually the Cordettes are going to wonder where you vanish to during lunch," Xander warned.
"And your friends won't?"
"They know where I go, just not who with," he replied. "Willow has been asking to come."
"Bring her," Cordelia replied unconcerned as she lay naked on a deck chair in the middle of the intersection, a school bus buried in a nearby store that she'd driven halfway through.
Xander relaxed on an identical chair sipping a pina colada. "You won't object?"
"Why would I object?" Cordelia asked surprised.
"You do like to just let it all hang out here," he pointed out.
"She's seen me naked plenty of times, we share a locker room," Cordelia said easily.
"Point," Xander said as the pair tanned. "And it's not like you have to worry about her spreading rumors."
"The stuff we do here is so unbelievable any rumors will come off as sounding completely fake and Willow isn't exactly a huge gossip, besides that girl could use some unwinding."
"She has seemed especially tense lately," Xander agreed.
"Police car race back to school?"
"You're on!"
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"Why are we going to the Sunset Club?" Xander asked.
"Because Buffy's old friend Ford lied about a lot of things," Angel explained. "You aren't going to say I'm jealous are you?"
Xander shrugged. "You're clearly jealous, but that doesn't mean you're wrong. There's enough smoke from what you two are saying to start looking for a fire. Just because Mr. Fairlane is human doesn't mean he's innocent."
Angel sighed and nodded. "Well, as long as we're on the same page here."
As soon as they entered the Sunset Club, a fallout shelter turned night club, they knew Ford couldn't be trusted.
"A vampire themed club, joy," Xander deadpanned. "You know how much I enjoy and approve of the undead."
"No offense meant," Willow quickly told Angel.
"None taken," Angel told her.
"Pity," Xander said. While he didn't harp on the subject anymore or refer to Angel as Deadboy, his opinion on the subject had definitely not changed.
"They're just frightened children telling stories about the dark." Angel snorted in disdain.
"The dark's scary," Willow said. "Sometimes a story helps."
"Not when it'll get them killed," Angel said.
"He's right," Xander said. "This place is an abomination, just look at how they're dressed."
A man dressed exactly like Angel paused and gave Angel an approving nod before continuing on.
"I can't even agree with you without insulting you in some manner," Xander said shaking his head. "I blame karma."
Angel coughed to cover a laugh, while Xander was if anything, even more adamant in his views, he was much less annoying about them and had developed a dry humor that Angel could appreciate.
"I think we've seen enough," Xander said, taking Willow's hand and leading her out.
"You're right," Angel agreed following along before the 'locals' could introduce themselves.
"We have to tell Buffy," Willow said, smiling despite the situation as Xander kept hold of her hand.
*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*
"You guys were checking up on me?" Buffy demanded.
"We're friends, we smell a rat, we look for a rat," Xander replied with a shrug.
"Jealous-," Buffy began when Xander interrupted her, "doesn't change facts." He decided to deflate her ego a bit, just like he used to do with Cordelia before discovering she just had an ironic sense of humor and a sarcasm knob that went to eleven. "Willow was there because she cares, I was there because they wanted an objective witness and drug me along. It's possible Angel was jealous, but since I didn't see you mounting Ford in public for daring to save your life I don't see why he would be."
"I apologized for that!" Buffy groaned.
"Yes, and I accepted that apology, but that doesn't mean I forgot the incident itself and you throwing around accusations of jealousy, as if you are the hottest thing since sliced bread, will have me throwing it in your face as a reminder of the moment any possible attraction for you died."
"What?" Buffy asked shocked.
"I do not want to have sex with you," Xander said. "I don't think I can be more blunt. Ask Angel, he can tell you I'm being honest."
Angel nodded when she looked to him for confirmation.
"Of the three of us, only Angel wants to plow you," Xander said. "But even if he is jealous that doesn't change the fact that we all look out for one another and Ford is of the rodent family."
"Oh," Buffy said, realizing she'd overreacted.
"I got the files you wanted," Jenny Calendar said as she entered the library. "And you're right, Ford…" she trailed off as she saw everyone. "Oops."
"A watcher looks out for his slayer," Giles said firmly, as the Scoobs turned to look at him.
The teens burst out laughing.
"Did I miss something?" Jenny asked.
"Just being reminded I have friends and that we look out for one another," Buffy said.
"Everyone who tries to date one of us is someone to be suspicious of," Xander said. "Name one who didn't turn out to have enough baggage for a yearlong trip."
"Huh," Buffy and Willow chorused before turning to look at Miss Calendar.
"Well Miss Calendar," Xander raised an eyebrow and tried to keep a straight face, "if that is your real name!"
"Her heartbeat just jumped," Angel said freezing everyone in place.
"Jenny Calendar is the Americanized form of my name, in my native language it's Janna," she offered, hoping a bit of the truth would throw them off the scent.
"Is that the entire story?" Giles asked, a little hurt she hadn't shared that with him before.
"No, but it's family related and has nothing to do with you or Buffy," she assured him. "No opening the Hellmouth or killing people, more the opposite, but I've made vows not to reveal anything so please don't ask."
"OK," Buffy agreed, after looking to Angel for confirmation.
"OK?" Jenny asked surprised.
"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "We all have secrets. When it becomes life or death, let me know, OK?"
"When?" Jenny replied.
"It's always 'when' not 'if' on the Hellmouth," Buffy said. "So start making preparations and when it's life or death, call."
"Are we good?" she asked Giles.
"A minute ago I would have said we were great, but good will do for now," Giles said.
"Gotta give a little to get a little," Xander said. "Start showing your hidden past before expecting the same of everyone else."
"Hidden past?" Jenny asked.
"Giles has a hidden past?" Willow asked.
Xander stepped into the full length mirror on the wall and vanished.
"Oh, yeah, that hidden past," Willow said, having forgotten about Giles' connection to Ethan.
"He had to quit calling me Deadboy," Angel said with a sigh. At Buffy's look he shrugged. "I could've called him Alice or maybe Rabbit."
Typing by: The Last Primarch!