Tyki did not wash Devit's coat.
He didn't even hang it up to let it dry properly.
Instead, he had left it in a sopping heap on Devit's chair in the dining room.
"YOU ASSHOLE!" Devit shouted across the table when the Noah clan congregated for dinner. He picked up his baked potato and threw it at Tyki's head. At least, he tried to throw it at Tyki's head. Unfortunately, not only did Devit have extremely poor aim when launching anything other than a bullet, but Tyki could've chosen to let that potato go whizzing right on through him if he had needed to.
"It's not polite to throw things," the Earl chimed, spreading out his napkin on his voluminous lap. Road watched the potato bounce across the ceramic floor with interest.
Devit seemed to struggle with himself for a moment. His fingers were twitching and his face was scrunched in a rather pained looking expression. He suddenly opened his mouth to say something, then changed his mind and finally sat with a SQUELCH in his wet chair.
Tyki smirked and Devit glared at him furiously. Jasdero patted his brother's arm, his large eyes brimming with sympathy.
The Earl's round eyes processed this whole exchange; his smile seemed to widen. "Well, well, I hope you all had interesting days?"
Silence followed his words, then Road piped up: "I got a report I haffta do before next week." She shot Devit and Jasdero a look that clearly stated: do it for me or you will both die in your sleep. Devit stuck out his tongue. Jasdero crossed his eyes.
"How nice!" The Earl picked up his fork and knife and began cutting away at his steak. Devit glared at his plate, boring holes into his meat. Jasdero stared at the Earl, wondering how he opened his mouth to eat. He had never really paid attention before now.
"And Tyki? What about you?" The Earl raised his fork to his grinning face. Jasdero watched eagerly.
"I finished my book and I bonded with Twin One," Tyki chewed his asparagus.
Devit flicked a piece of steak toward the man. It landed in Lulu Bell's wine glass. Lulu Bell glared at him with utmost loathing.
The Earl set down his empty fork. Bewildered, Jasdero scrubbed his eyes. One minute, the meat had been there, and then it had just disappeared. How strange.
"You bonded? How wonderful!" The Earl clapped his small hands, expressing his joy over how close the Noahs had become.
"I did not bond with him." Devit stuck his index finger down his throat and mimed vomiting over his dinner. Jasdero giggled. Lulu Bell muttered something about a headache and left the table.
Devit grinned after her, then continued: "I was just minding my own business when he came over and just had to bother the shit out of me."
"I think your constant solitude is what makes you so depressed," Tyki commented lightly as he helped himself to a dinner roll from the basket in the center of the table.
"SOLITUDE MY ASS!" Devit shouted, gesturing wildly. The soggy cushion beneath him made a strange squelching noise when he moved. "I TOLD you already, I always have company!" Jasdero grinned triumphantly at this, forgetting about the Earl and his fortress of a mouth.
"Maybe you should try to find some company that doesn't include yourself. Or one half of yourself, at least," Tyki smirked at them from across the table.
Jasdero dropped his grin. Both he and Devit raised their pistols.
"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, TYKI!" Devit put one foot up on the table, his eyes clouded with malice.
"KILL!" Jasdero echoed, looking just as (if not more) insane than his brother.
"I don't think that I will allow any killing of your fellow Noahs." The Earl's poisonously sweet voice drifted through their heads. Jasdero immediately plopped backward in his chair, looking sheepish. Devit snarled at Tyki once more before he too reclaimed his seat. The cushion made another squelching noise.
Tyki faked a cough to hide his snicker.
--
"I'm HUUUUUNGRYYYYY!" Road whined, locking her arms around Tyki's neck in a death grip.
"H-Hungry?" Tyki choked, "You just had dinner a couple of hours ago!"
"Eeeeehhh…" Road made a face. "I want some dessert!"
Tyki gripped her hands and pulled her off his back. "So go find some dessert!"
Road pouted at him.
Tyki stared, unmoved.
Sighing heavily, Road massaged her temples. "Oh, fine. I'll just go get it myself. I'll remember this, Tyki!" she added as she left the room, only half joking.
Tyki pulled out a cigarette and lit it. The smell of tobacco and flame enveloped him and he let the calm familiarity of it all settle into his being. This was what he liked about being home, he thought to himself. If you ignored the twins, and Skin, and Road, it's really wasn't all that bad. He didn't mind Lulu Bell too terribly much. She appeared and spoke only when she was forced to. Like a cat. Give her some food and she'll leave you alone. Tyki blew a smoke ring at the ceiling.
The sound of footsteps approaching jolted Tyki from his world of serenity. He turned his head to face the doorway, looking mildly curious. When he saw who it was, he groaned and went back to smoking.
The Jasdevi twins.
"Don't look so fucking depressed," Devit said when he caught sight of Tyki's face. "What have we ever done to you anyway?"
Jasdero blinked and tugged Devit's shirt. He whispered something to Devit, who in turn frowned. "No, no, that was just that once. I don't even think he remembers." He straightened up and surveyed Tyki critically. Tyki concentrated on a candle. Devit scowled. "I'm trying to be nice here. The least you could do is look at me or SOMETHING!"
Tyki got the feeling that the words "blue bomb" were swirling around the clouded minds of the twins. It was only a matter of time before that thought became real and he was eating ice. He glanced over at Devit again. "Yes?"
Devit seemed mildly taken aback that Tyki had listened for once. "Well, uh, I think you're a bastard for taking my jacket."
"Good attempt at 'being nice'. May want to work on a bit more, though." Tyki looked back at the candle.
"Fuck you! I was trying to say that I forgive you, you ass."
"In that case, I am extremely humbled."
"Yeah, well…" Devit scratched his arm. "Don't let it happen again, got it? Don't expect me to come around every time you do something stupid and fuckin' forgive you for it."
"I never have."
"Well… good," Devit finished lamely. He looked at his brother. "C'mon, Jasdero, let's see if we can go and find the laundry room."
Jasdero giggled and the twins sauntered back through the door.
Tyki smirked after them and ground his cigarette into an ashtray. They were annoying as hell, there was no doubt about that. But at least they were amusing. Sometimes.
--
Oh yah, I updated. -dances-