Everything I've done up until now.

All the memories I've made.

Everything I learned.

In the end it was all for nothing.

I spent my entire life with him. Comforting him, laughing with him, playing with him, and learning so many things from him. He was the reason I tried so hard to learn things like reading and first aid. I wanted to take care of him like he took care of me.

The time he tried to teach me how to cook when he couldn't even cook himself. The time he came to find me after I'd gotten lost in the woods. How he'd leave his hair messed up on purpose so I'd fix it for him. How he shared his food with me, even though he barely had enough to feed himself. He even protected me from his father's drunken tirades. And countless other memories.

He was my entire world. He was... everything to me.

Just a little longer I kept thinking. I only need to hold on a little longer. And the Lyle that I knew; the one I grew up with would come back to me.

But I was a fool.

The Lyle I knew had long since been gone. I tried so hard to find out what was wrong with him, but he simply shut me out. He shut everything out. He just stopped feeling anything. It's as if he was possessed by some kind of demon.

I just didn't understand...

Why didn't he tell me how much he was hurting!? I could have helped him... I would have done anything!

All our time together meant nothing to him.

I... meant nothing to him.

My entire life had been a lie.

Everything.

It was all... a lie.

I couldn't even control my own body anymore. I was hunched over, sobbing uncontrollably on the ground while holding my face in my hands. Tears were spilling out from under them, soaking the grass beneath me.

The darkness of the night felt like it was closing in on me. The light of the moon seemed as if it would whisk me off to another world.

It was too much. I couldn't take it. The pain was even worse than when he would hit me, or when he starved me, or even when he left me in isolation. At least then I knew he was still nearby.

But this was different. I knew he really was gone this time. And he was never coming back. What am I supposed to do now!?

I clutched my hand against my chest. My heart was thumping harder than ever. There was a sharp stinging pain throughout my chest with each erratic beat.

The pain was so strong that I felt as if I was dying. Like a tight invisible fist around my heart. Slowly squeezing it tighter and tighter, crushing me to death.

It hurts... someone... please save me...

–-

"Here you go, your Chikorita is doing just fine!" Nurse Joy happily said as she placed a tray holding a pokeball on a counter. A girl with shoulder length brown hair, wearing what appeared to be a green girl scout uniform reached up and grabbed it with a smile while expressing her thanks.

"Thank you!" She said louder than necessary, earning a few glances from random trainers around the room. As she turned to make her way out the door, she was stopped by a concerned Joy.

"Where are you going? It's already starting to get really late... don't you think you should stay here for the night?" The girl quickly waved her hand.

"Right before I came in here, I could swear I heard a scream. I was just going to check it out real quick." The pink haired nurse pursed her lips.

"Huh? This late at night? That can't possibly be good... maybe someone should come with you to be safe." She was given an eager 'don't worry' smile.

"It's fine! No need to worry! I'll be back before you know it!" She exclaimed as she dashed out the doors in the direction of route 31.

With a sigh the nurse mumbled to herself.

"That's when I'm worried the most..."

With that she decided to follow the girl herself and asked her Chansey in the back to watch the counter for a little while before dashing off after the girl.

After several minutes of walking the girl had reached the spot where she thought she heard someone or something screaming. It was faint, but it was definitely a scream.

"Come out Chikorita." She said as she held out a pokeball and it opened with flash, beaming out her partner, who had a small light green body, piercing red eyes, with small seeds like a necklace around it's neck. This all accented the large leaf on it's head.

She knelt down and asked Chikorita to help spot anything that may be around. It waved it's large head leaf as if saying 'leave it to me'.

Chikorita sniffed around for a little while and seemed to pick up some sort of scent before dashing off with it's trainer close behind.

–-

After what felt like an eternity my tears had finally dried up. I stood up and wandered around in a trance for hours. There wasn't a soul in sight the entire time. As if the world was completely still at this moment.

I didn't know where I was going. And I didn't care.

I could be finding a place to die for all I know.

There wasn't anything left for me anymore.

My mind was hazy. I could barely think anymore. I couldn't even feel anything anymore. My entire body felt numb.

When finally, the fatigue and hunger caught up to me. I fell to the ground as my vision started to fade before giving myself over to the gentle embrace of darkness.

–-

I woke up and found myself inside a small room. The walls were a light shade of blue. The bed was neatly made with a pikachu comforter on top of it. The floor was covered in cheap black carpet, with a few simple pieces of oak furniture around the room. There was also a bookshelf with various guides to learning new skills. Cooking, first aid, grammar, and spelling books among others. It was already close to dusk as the room was illuminated a bright orange from the setting sun.

I knew this. This was Lyle's room when he was younger.

What is this?! What's going on!?

Why am I seeing this now? This must be some kind of cruel joke.

Everything then suddenly came back to me.

I was wandering around in the night after Lyle left me and I must have collapsed. All of this wasn't real. It couldn't be.

I heard a sound outside and ran over to look out the window. It was Lyle and... me. They were kicking a ball back and forth to each other in the backyard. The autumn trees around them swaying with the wind.

We did that all the time when he was little. I went to kick the ball and missed, falling over. Lyle smiled like a dork at her.. me and threw some dead leaves on her. That smile...

I clutched my left hand over my chest as it started to tighten.

I've had enough. I can't this watch anymore. This Lyle didn't exist anymore. He was dead.

I turned around and ran out the door into the hallway.

As I hurried my way down the hall I heard a splash of water coming from inside a room. Without a thought I opened the door and Lyle was inside taking a bath with me in the bathroom tub.

This can't be real... why is this...?!

"Haha! Take that!" Lyle yelled as he splashed water on me. I yelped and retaliated back at him, laughing all the while.

No, stop!

I turned and ran out the room, fanatically rushing down the stairs.

Please make this stop, enough already! I yelled.

I already wanted to die, does someone think that I haven't suffered enough already?!

Then suddenly I heard yelling. It was coming from the living room. I warily made my way over and saw Lyle with his father stumbling around the room as he usually did when he was home. The TV was turned on, but there was just static on the screen.

"Dad... can I have some money for food?" Lyle weakly pleaded.

"Food? You already ate all the food in the house you little shit?! Why don't you go get a job or something? With all the damn money I spend on fucking food... shit!"

He angrily slammed his hand on the table and made the wine glass sitting on it fall and break. Lyle flinched and they both glanced down at it. Lyle's father gained a twisted sort of look on his face.

"Look what you made me do! Shit! How are you gonna pay for this?! Uggghhhh..." He groaned before emptying the contents of his stomach all over the wooden floor.

He wiped the vomit off his face with his sleeve and reached into his pocket, pulling out a couple bills.

"Here, try not to spend it all in one place..." He said in a slur as he threw the bills on the table and stumbled out the door, mumbling about needing another drink.

Time paused for a moment, the sound of static permeating the room before Lyle meekly reached over and grabbed the money, squeezing it as tightly as he could in his fist.

I remember this. I was hiding the same way I was now as I did so many other times.

Even when I tried to help, Lyle would stop me. He took everything on by himself.

Tears were already streaming down my face before I realized it.

Eventually it must have broken him. How did I not notice?

I slowly backed up into the wall behind me.

This was a nightmare.

The room was then suddenly engulfed in darkness. I couldn't even see my own hand in front of my face.

That's when the ground started to swallow me. The floor had warped into some kind of black tar like substance. I tried to struggle free but it was no use. The more I moved around, the more stuck I got.

I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out. My voice was gone.

I sunk deeper and deeper, finally resigning to my fate.

When I was finally engulfed, I took a look around. In every direction there was nothing but blackness.

My body wouldn't move anymore either. I was trapped. There was no escape.

Suddenly, I felt like I was suffocating. Within seconds I was desperately gasping for air.

I felt myself starting to slip away.

I could tell I was slowly dying. But I wasn't even struggling anymore as I had already accepted it.

It's better this way. At least the suffering will stop. I can finally rest. For eternity.

–-

"I'm glad you decided to be reckless just this one time Liz." The girl smiled at her and looked back into the glass window of the room where the sleeping mawile they found was. The lights were already turned off in the room, with only dim red lights illuminating the hallway they were standing in.

Mawile was cold and starving out there, and Joy said it was dangerously close to dying. Something that wasn't physical she called it. Wasn't natural. Like it lost the will to live or something. She couldn't even comprehend how someone could treat their pokemon like this. She wanted to punch the person responsible. Her Chikorita brushed it's leaf against her ankle and she picked it up, nuzzling against it.

She then felt a person's hand patting her on the back a few minutes later.

"I know you're worried, but you need to get some sleep. You can see Mawile tomorrow."

Liz shook her head.

"Just a little bit longer, please." Joy sighed.

"Alright, just promise me you'll go to bed soon."

"Mhm. I promise."

Joy brought her a small chair, and Liz stayed there until she fell asleep.

–-

A blinding white light roused me from my sleep as I found myself in a small room filled with various machines. Every few seconds I heard a light beeping sound and I had leads attached to various parts of my body. I was laying on a tall and white exam bed. I slowly sat up.

My body felt heavy. Even if I wanted to, I probably couldn't move much right now.

Where am I? Last I remember I was... dying. I felt as if should cry some more, but nothing came out. My tears were already dry.

I glanced around the room and noticed a small square window. The sky was light blue outside so it must have already been daytime the next day. I must have been knocked out almost half a day.

"Oh, you're finally awake!" A woman with pink hair said as she walked into the room via sliding doors. I glanced up at her with empty eyes.

"Are you feeling okay? The IV line seemed to do the trick." She said as she gazed at me with gentle eyes and walked over, placing her hand on my head. My body tensed up from her touch, but I didn't resist.

I looked down at my arm and there was a piece of plastic sticking out with fluids running though it. Guess she was right. Looks like this woman saved me. She was doing various things like checking my vitals and looking over some sort of chart that was hanging off the side of the bed.

This must be a pokemon center then. After I passed out, she must have found me and brought me here.

She turned away soon afterward and started typing away on a computer next to the bed.

Suddenly another girl came rushing into the room. She had short brown hair and had on a green dress.

"Nurse Joy! Is Mawile doing okay?!" She made eye contact with me. I stared though her.

"Shush... Liz, Mawile is okay, but it's still very weak right now." The girl covered her mouth and looked back at me before removing her hands.

"Is it okay if I stay in here?"

"Mhm... just try not to get in my way okay?"

The girl walked closer to me and leaned down, looking me right in the eye. I instinctively wanted to look away.

"Hi there... yesterday was probably really scary for you wasn't it? You were out there all alone and everything..."

There was a small light green pokemon on her shoulder. A Chikorita. It was giving me a sad smile and asking if I was okay.

Who were they? Why are they talking to me? Why do they care? They don't know me. I slowly lowered my eyes, tuning them out.

"Mmmm..."

The girl looked back at the nurse.

"What is it? Is something wrong with Mawile?"

"No, everything looks completely fine. Just a little more rest and it will be fine. I think we should leave mawile alone for a while, it still needs more time to recover." The nurse glanced back at me.

"Then isn't that great?" The girl and her chikorita smiled back at me. They seemed really happy.

I didn't care.

Why did they save me? I was supposed to die back there. No, I was meant to die. So why did they have to mess everything up?!

To be forced to keep living when all you want to do is die is the... worst. I hate them. I laid back down, ignoring them as they walked out of the room.

I need to get out of here. I need to go die.

–-

That night during her rounds, Nurse Joy found an empty bed.

Mawile had disappeared.