Title: Verum Quod Eventus
Chapter: 02. Fidelitas
Author: stolenxsanity
Characters/Pairings: JasperxEdward
Rating: M/NC-17
Spoilers: None; AH/AU
Summary: Jasper has a fated meeting one night that finally allows him to let go. But, will it only be temporary? Originally written for the "Tattward and Inkella One-Shot" Contest. OOC. Slash. JxE
Disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters belong to SMeyer, Verum Quod Eventus belongs to me.
A/N: First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the one-shot and voted for it in the "Tattward and Inkella One-Shot" Contest. There are no words for how absolutely stunned I was at the response I received. So really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. To Miss RAEcouter and ahizelm: bb's I couldn't have done this without you. Your beta'ing and motivational awesomeness knows no bounds and I love you both dearly. Le Holster, vi0lentserenity, I know that you aren't beta'ing this one, but your faith and belief in me is one of the few things that keeps me writing. Whitlock's Girl, thank you for the recommendation on TwiSlash Unveiled and for the pimpage in general. And lastly, to my Unofficial Preview Crew, naelany, gyspysue and dannie7786, thank you for going over this for me at it's various stages of completion and, when it was necessary, nudging me in the right direction.
"Loyalty lies within one's self. If you cannot be loyal to yourself, how can you be loyal to those around you?" – Sue
[JPOV]
My eyes swept over Edward's upper body, tracing the dips and lines of his lean frame as I struggled to control my still ragged breathing. A stalking panther decorated his torso, clawing its way upwards, streaks of torn flesh and blood marking its ascent. My fingers followed the trail my eyes had, lightly ghosting over his body; almost reverent in the fluttering touches and soft caresses. Everything about Edward drew me in magnetically, a force that couldn't be fought even if I'd tried. I didn't want to fight it, though. Not at all. He had awoken in me a desire – an unrelenting urge – that I had spent years forcing into submission for the sake of my job. In one night, all that work – years of practiced and perfected restraint – had fallen to the wayside and I couldn't find it in me to care. For all the sacrifices I'd made and all the truths I'd spent my life denying, I deserved this. I deserved him – Edward – in whatever capacity he offered.
The urge to taste him, the sweat-tinged skin mixed with the heady scent of sex lingering in the air, tempted me incessantly and I tore my gaze away from his lithe form, momentarily, to take in his face. Perfect, angular features, green eyes darkened and hooded with lust and slightly parted lips made my decision for me. I crashed my mouth to his again, pulling my entire body over his and sliding my hands through his hair, tugging at it slightly. I could feel his hands digging into my hipbones, holding me firmly, possessively. The sounds of our moans and sweaty flesh moving smoothly against each other filled the room as we kissed, tongues tangling together vigorously.
I could feel Edward's hard cock pressing against the inside of my thigh reminding me that he'd yet to have any kind of release. A groan rumbled from deep in my chest at the thought of tasting him, feeling his dick in my mouth and just giving him the same fucking pleasure he gave me. I tore my lips from his, nipping softly at the curve of his jaw while slipping my body down his, licking, nibbling and sucking on every inch of his hard, muscled flesh that my mouth came in contact with. He tasted so damn good and I couldn't help but imagine having this – having him – every fucking day for the rest of my life. Edward fisted the back of the ball chain that my dog tags hung from, gripping it tightly while his other hand ran a circuit up and down the length of my back. To be touched so continually, with absolutely no inhibition, was intoxicating and deepened my arousal exponentially.
"Fuck, Jasper," Edward moaned as my tongue traced the sinuous lines of the panther, nipping at his skin sporadically as I continued tugging on his hair. I resumed my trek down his frame, pausing momentarily to suck on the skin at his hip, staring intently into his piercing green irises until he clamped his eyes closed and pressed his head into the pillow beneath him. "That is – fuck – so good."
I hummed in response, smiling to myself at the realization that I could initiate this reaction from him, despite the fact that he was a God among mere mortals. The cold metal of my dog tags pressed against my sweat drenched chest that. In any other situation, the stainless-steel symbol would have made me stop and rethink my actions but for the first time ever, all it did was remind me of everything that I'd spent my life denying and didn't want to deny any longer.
With that thought, I slid lower, rubbing the side of my face against Edward's inner thighs lightly as his breathing picked up, chest heaving laboriously and brows furrowed. His head lifted slowly, watching me with hooded eyes, the smirk that he'd so thoroughly teased me with earlier in the day replaced by a lazy grin. I kept part of my focus trained on his face as I ran the tip of my tongue around the head of his swollen cock, tracing the ridge slowly; teasing him with promises of what was to come. I pulled away slightly, smiling a little when he whimpered – fucking whimpered – at the loss of contact, his hands fisting the sheets roughly, begging me with his lustful gaze and sharp pants.
"Stop fucking teasing me," Edward growled out, inhaling deeply as I took him into my mouth, teasing the underside of his dick with my tongue as my fingers wrapped around the base tightly, stroking and twisting, my movements in perfect synchronization. "Fucking hell," Edward muttered eyes clenched tight and barely coherent. "Your mouth feels so fucking good." I continued my ministrations, flying high on the fact that I did this to him, as I slid my free hand between his legs, stroking the crease at the juncture of ass and thigh before running the tips of my fingers over his sac.
Edward's neck muscles strained as he threw his head back and I followed the taut lines, reveling in the way he felt in my mouth and the taste that was so intrinsically him. And, fuck, he tasted amazing; salt-tinged sweat and velvety smooth skin, a stark contrast to the steel-rod like hardness that I couldn't help but imagine in places other than my mouth. So caught up in my own actions and thoughts, I failed to notice his grip on the sheet loosen until his hand curled around my neck, blunt fingernails digging into the skin at the nape as he pulled me closer, holding me in place, as he gave in to the urge to thrust into my mouth; his cock hitting the back of my throat with each erratic move of his pelvis. And fuck me if it wasn't turning me on even more in the process.
Breathy moans and deep groans filled the room, occasionally interspersed with the occasional 'fuck' and my name. I could tell that Edward was getting close as his already labored breathing became harsher, ragged and shallow, beads of sweat trailing down his firm body in steady rivulets. I hummed around his hard length, the hand between his legs massaging, coaxing him along, desperate to make him come and give him the same pleasure he'd given me. In a surprisingly gentle motion, his hand fisted my hair as he mumbled incoherently. His breathing was shallow and uneven, and soon enough, I could taste his release as it slid down my throat.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
Slightly muffled buzzing interspersed with a persistent beep invaded my subconscious as I rolled onto my back. I idly wondered why my bed was actually comfortable; a stark contrast to the hard, lumpy, twin-sized Military issue crap we had in the Barracks, but quickly brushed the thought aside, attributing it to the very life-like dream I'd had the previous night. I didn't need to look at a clock to know what time it was and I opened my eyes slowly, not yet ready to leave the confines of my fantasy bed. Unfortunately, years of rigorous training didn't grant me time to loiter and my eyes opened fully, only to close again as I blinked rapidly, taking in the room around me and the feeling of cool sheets against my overheated, naked skin. What the fuck? Last night's events rushed back to me, glaring pictures laced with arduous moans, slick, sweaty flesh and vibrant designs. That was not a dream, I mused internally, languidly stretching the tense muscles in my back and neck before standing and scouring the room for my clothes.
The muted sounds of music – undoubtedly classical – filtered through the walls, rousing me even further as my memories trace inked notes adorning muscular forearms. I finally found my clothes hanging over a chair in the corner of the room, my cell phone – the source of the noise that had awoken me – resting atop it and I dressed quickly, quietly and introspectively. I'd crossed a self-imposed line last night, giving in to my baser instincts and, as much as I felt like I should regret it, I couldn't; I wouldn't, either.
I left the room slowly, thigh muscles straining beneath rough denim, trying to figure out what the proper protocol for such a situation would be. Did the fact that he'd left the bed mean that he just wanted me to leave or was he trying to eliminate any awkwardness beforehand by leaving me to wake at my own leisure? My mind went back and forth, constantly vacillating between the option of getting the hell out of Dodge and strolling through Edward's home in search of him when my steps faltered just outside the entryway to what appeared to be the living room. The far wall was made of glass from floor to ceiling, a sleek, black baby grand piano positioned to take in the view of the high rises and hotels littering the paradisiacal landscape. Edward's back was to me, hunched over and shirtless, a perfect depiction of a set of wings covering nearly every inch of skin. The right side was typical, clichéd almost, with whites and grays forming a near perfect imitation of one side of an angel's wing. It was the left side, though, that really drew my attention; black and red intertwined together intricately, defined spines ending in tattered and jagged edges. Angel and demon, heaven and hell, dark and light, good and bad. My eyes took in the words that flowed around the curves and edges of the wings in flawless script; a light from the shadows shall spring.
Edward's fingers moved across the ebony and ivory keys with precision and ease as the early morning sunlight streamed through the windows, casting the room in its glow. I watched as the muscles in his neck and shoulders contracted and released with every slight movement, following the lines that covered his flesh, disappearing below the waistband of his sleep pants. I tried to focus on the here and now, stay in the present and stop fucking ogling him from behind, but all I could think about was the way his body felt over and under my own, his hands everywhere and his mouth on my rock solid cock. My hand dropped to the front of my pants as I silently adjusted myself, head tilting to the side and eyes flitting between Edward and the entryway rapidly.
"Do you plan on standing there all day?" Edward's voice was full of laughter as his hands stilled and he glanced over his shoulder, smirking at me as he gestured toward the window wall, pointing out the reflective qualities of glass. My face heated in embarrassment and I ducked my head down, chin tucked into my chest as I ran my hand over the top of my head roughly, cursing my idiocy.
"I didn't mean to just fucking stand here and stare at you like some creepy fucking stalker or something," I huffed out, agitated and turned on all at the same damn time.
"It's not as if I didn't enjoy it," Edward murmured, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly as his fingers resumed their movements across the piano keys. "Were you leaving?" Such a simple question, that in any other situation would be easy as hell to answer – yes or no – but I didn't want to risk sticking around if he wanted me gone or leaving if he, for some reason, wanted me to stay. I rocked back on my heels, hands digging into the pockets of my jeans, as I contemplated my options, trying to best determine the one that would not make look like an utter fool. Did I want to stay? If I was being honest with myself, yes. Fuck yes; I couldn't think of anything that I wanted more right at this moment. Except, maybe, a repeat of last night; I definitely wouldn't say 'no' to that.
"You don't have to stay if –" Edward paused, his body still and rigid, the lack of sound enveloping the room suddenly. "I know that you aren't exactly free to do this –" his body turned toward mine on the piano bench, hand gesturing between the two of us before settling on his thigh. I quirked my eyebrow at him, confused as to what he was talking about; it was both interesting and slightly awkward to witness him – the same man that had been so cocky and sure of himself the just last night – looking flustered and at a loss for words. Noticing my confusion at his words, he stood from the bench and strolled toward me. His steps were slow and uncertain, succeeding only in puzzling me even further.
Edward was inches away from me before I'd had the chance to really analyze his strange actions. His hand hung in midair between us, fingers tentatively fluttering before lightly tracing the thin silver chain that hung around my neck and pulling the dog tags from beneath my shirt. I looked down at it for a moment, the repercussions of last night bubbling to the forefront of my mind fleetingly before I managed to push them back down, silently refusing to feel the disease of regret my profession had saddled me with for far too long. His thumb slid back and forth over the face of the tag, tracing the indentations before releasing them and sliding his hand around the back of his neck and turning toward the window.
"If you have to leave, it won't offend me." Edward muttered his voice barely audible even in the resounding quiet of the room. "I just don't want you to think that I – that what happened last night is something I do often."
I paused for a moment, considering Edward's words and actions, comparing them to my memories as he stood at the window, staring out over the busy streets littered with tourists and Lincoln Town cars. Never once had the thought crossed my mind that I was just some random guy, but I couldn't deny the utter relief I felt at knowing that I wasn't just one of many. Without consciously deciding to, I moved toward him, trapping his half-naked form against the glass wall with my arms, my body pressed firmly against his back.
Unable to help myself while being in such a close proximity to him, I ran the tip of my nose along the side of his neck, exhaling unsteadily as a scent that was so potently Edward assaulted my olfactory senses. I ran my tongue down the same path, reveling in his sweat-tinged taste, sliding my hands down his arms, light fluttering touches tracing the designs there before continuing their trek over his sides and gripping his hips. Edward's breaths were being expelled in sharp pants as I ran the tips of my fingers beneath the waistband of his pants, teasing both him and me with the barely there touches. My lips, tongue and teeth joined the action, traveling across the back of his neck and along the side of his jaw until I reached his ear.
"That was never even a thought," I whispered breathily, struggling with the torrent of emotions that had crashed down on me, before taking his lobe into my mouth and sucking on it lightly. Edward's hands dropped from their spot on the window in front of him and covered mine, pushing them into his hips further, desperately, as he leaned his head forward, his breath fogging up the glass with every exhale and fucking delicious moan.
"I just – fuck – didn't want there –" His words were cut off as a deep, husky groan resonated from his chest as I bit down on his neck, sucking the skin into my mouth, one hand resting on his abdomen, pushing him back into me, as the other dipped into the front of his pants, feeling the solid flesh and searing heat.
"Did you want me to stay?" I asked, my lips still settled against his pulse point, feeling the erratic thudding just beneath the skin. Edward responded with a breathless 'yes' as I gripped him harder, his head dropping lower as he watched my movements underneath his clothing. With a confidence I didn't know I had, I stepped away from him, breaking all points of contact between us and leaned against the front of his piano, eyebrow arched and arms crossed over my chest. "Prove it." I drawled out, my southern accent coming through thicker than I'd intended.
I waited for Edward to turn toward me, my eyes falling to his crotch once he did before running up the length of his body and meeting his lustful gaze, eyes darkened and narrowed. Anticipation mixed with adrenaline, coursing through my veins as he stalked toward me, movements graceful and controlled, that smirk – that fucking smug ass smile that made me want to jump him even more – firmly planted across his face. He leaned into me, his hands sliding over the top of the piano until his body was flush against mine, and nipped at the corner of my mouth while inhaling deeply.
"That wasn't very nice of you," his breath fanned against the side of my face as he spoke, lips moving against my jaw with each word. "Now tell me," he paused momentarily, kissing me firmly on the mouth as his right hand slid up the back of my shirt, pressing me forward as he pushed back, eliminating even the smallest of spaces between our bodies. "How exactly would you like me to prove it?" He finished, his forehead leaning against mine as we stared at each other, the silence only broken by our labored breathing and the slight brush of denim against cotton.
My cell phone vibrating against my thigh and the sound of Alice's ring tone piercing the air broke the growing sexual tension, and Edward rocked back on his heels, his hand sliding around to my stomach before he broke the connection with a crooked smile. I cursed Alice mentally as I fished the device out of my pocket, cringing as I checked the time before answering with a nervous 'hello.'
Alice and I usually spent Saturday mornings together, at the bakery talking and eating if she had to work or at a nearby diner if she was off. Knowing her, she had probably been imagining the worst this entire time, waiting for me to either arrive or call.
"Jasper Hale Whitlock," her voice was more relieved than worried and I chastised myself for forgetting about her and our plans. "Where the fuck are you? God, I've been waiting for you for the past two hours – two fucking hours – waiting for you to either get here or call. I even called James, for fuck's sake, trying to find you and when he said that you never got back last night … do you have any idea what's been going through my head?"
"Calm down, Al, I'm fine, promise. I just – the meeting this morning slipped my mind and I didn't notice the time until I got your call." I prayed that she wouldn't ask where I was, sliding my free hand into my pocket.
"Okay, you're fine; I can certainly hear that now, but dammit J, where the fuck are you?"
"I'm still in Waikiki at – with Edward," I muttered, knowing that it was best to just get that out there or she'd hound me incessantly with questions until I did.
"Oh. I – well, are we still meeting up today or do – are you going to stay out there?" Timidity certainly didn't suit her and I felt like a complete ass for bailing on the only person I'd always been able to count on because of a guy.
"No, I'll be there. Where do you want me to meet you?"
"I'll meet you at the front gate … you probably need to shower and change, don't you? I'll just hang out in your room while you get ready and ignore James like I usually do if he's around." I confirmed our plans before disconnecting the call and replacing my phone, torn between meeting Alice – it wouldn't do to alienate my best friend, especially since I needed her advice more than I ever had before – and wanting to stay and continue what I'd started just moments ago. With a resigned sigh, I turned toward Edward, his head bowed over the keys in front of him and fingers resting lightly against it, his only movements were that of his back rising and falling with every breath he took. The flood of light that shone through the window behind me bathed him in its yellow-orange hues, the wings on his back standing out boldly against his pale flesh. Fucking beautiful.
"You and your inclination to stare mutely, Jasper …" Edward's words trailed off, humor suffusing his tone as he tilted his head, looking up at me through his thick eyelashes, amusement dancing in his deep green irises.
I returned his smile, feeling the corners of my eyes crinkle at the action, genuinely amused at the dichotomy he presented; one moment Edward was full of confidence and staggering sex appeal and the next he was awkward and uncertain, smug smiles belying slight nervous twitches. Yet, all that just made him that much more desirable and endearing.
"You're hard not to look at." I admitted my weakness on full display as I reassured him that my upcoming departure was not from lack of desire.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
I tried to calm myself as I drove away from Edward's apartment, air conditioner on full blast and music cranked up beyond the recommended decibels. Alice's interruption, though unwelcome at the time, had given me a chance to think everything through coherently, the cloud of lust that had been hovering since being in Edward's presence thinned with every mile that my driving put between us. He'd given me his number, slipping it into the pocket of my jeans as he traced erratic patterns against the skin of my lower back. I knew what I wanted in my clear headed state of reflection and what I wanted was behind me, in the comforting confines of the high rise apartment building I'd just been summoned from. But, I also knew that what I wanted wouldn't be easy; wouldn't come easy. I'd never been one to shy away from hard work, but I also needed to figure out if this – if Edward – was worth the consequences that my actions could bring about.
Forty-five minutes later, I walked into my room, Alice strolling in ahead of me and sprawling atop my bed after grabbing one of the many photo albums my mother had sent off my desk. She spared me a cursory glance, one perfectly arched eyebrow lifted as her hand hovered near the corner of the book ready to turn the page, before she gave me a small smile and continued with her perusal. I listened as she hummed quietly to herself, pausing sporadically to watch me as I paced back and forth across the room, the near silence not doing anything in the way of helping me deal with the thoughts that were running rampant in my head.
"J, you're going to wear a hole into the floor if you don't stop walking back and forth like that." Alice's voice was followed by the muted thud of the book closing and the slight rustle of the bed as she sat up, her knees curled up to her chest as she rested her cheek atop them, gaze scrutinizing and sharp. "Go shower so we can get out of here. We can talk once we're on the road … and I'll drive."
Wordlessly, I made my way to the bed and hugged her before placing my phone on the desk; the piece of paper with Edward's phone number on it tucked beneath it and gathered a change of clothes. My shower was rushed, the guilt I felt over having kept Alice waiting for most of the morning winning over the need I felt to just stand below the steady stream of water and relax. Soon I was standing back in my room, gathering my phone and wallet before ushering Alice out the door and back down to the parking lot.
We drove in silence through the mostly empty streets, the music played softly, filling the car with comfortable background noise as I leaned my head back against the leather seat and closed my eyes. I needed to talk to Alice, and I was certain that she wouldn't let me remain uncommunicative – it just wasn't in her nature – but the lull in conversation was relaxing. As the car slowed minutes later, I lifted my head and opened my eyes, smiling at the sight of the Highway Inn in front of me as Alice informed me that she'd already place a phone order and sent me inside to pick it up. I did so happily, practically fucking gliding through the doors and to the counter, beaming at the cashier as I paid and collected the bags of food – breaded ahi and fried shrimp according to the receipt.
I settled back into the car, planting a quick kiss on Alice's cheek in thanks, before digging into the fried shrimp fervently. I hadn't realized just how hungry I'd been until we'd gotten to the restaurant and the various aromas that invaded my senses caused my stomach to grumble in protest.
"Where are we headed?" I asked around a mouthful of food, eyes intent on the decadent platter in my lap.
"Tsk tsk, J, didn't your mama teach you that it's not polite to talk with your mouth full or was all that 'southern gentleman' talk just for show?" Alice turned to look at me, the smile playing at the corners of her lips belying the stern look she was giving me. "And don't you dare eat all that shrimp, I'm pretty damn hungry myself, what with you making me wait all morning."
"I said I was sorry about that," I responded after swallowing, staring longingly at the remaining shrimp. "And you didn't answer my question … where are we headed?"
"Pali Lookout, it's a clear day so it'll be nice up there." Her expression was wistful as she wove her way through the midday traffic, barely keeping to the speed limit.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
The usually packed parking lot was sparsely populated and only a handful of cars littered the area as tourists struggled against the strong winds in an effort to get to the head of the foot path that wound around the mountain side. I got out of the car slowly, one foot propping the door open so that the gusts wouldn't slam it shut on me. Finally, I made my way to the other side, holding Alice's door with one arm while she got out, using my body to block the brunt of the air currents.
"I don't know if I'll ever get used to how windy it is up here," Alice yelled as she pulled her jacket tighter around her. Chuckling at her statement, I wrapped an arm around her, guiding her toward the picnic tables that lay hidden behind tall Koa trees, seeking refuge from the cold air that flowed ceaselessly around us.
"Do you know the history of this place?" I asked as we settled on opposite sides of the table, the food spread out between us as I contemplated what could've taken place all those years ago on the same ledge that people were leaning over in an effort to capture the beauty of the Ko'olau range on camera. I'd always been a huge history buff and state of Hawai'i offered such a rich and diverse background that it was almost impossible to restrain myself from delving into the intricacies of its past at every available opportunity.
"Not all the details, no, but I do know that this – well, the lookout to be more precise – is the site of one of the most important and bloodiest battles in Hawaiian history." Her face was turned toward the edge of the cliff as she sighed softly, turning back to me with a determined look. "Now, stop deflecting … what the hell happened last night? I told you to invite him to the movies not spend the night with him doing God knows what." Her arms flailed about her head dramatically as she spoke, tone slightly clipped and judgmental.
"What do you want me to say, Alice?" I asked with a sigh, perplexity coloring my voice. "I did what you asked, or at least I tried to and … I – it – we kissed. I kissed him and really didn't want to stop there."
"So you went back to his place after two hours? That's a bit quick there cowboy, dontcha think?" I watched Alice carefully as I contemplated how best to answer her and her refusal to meet my gaze, staring past me or turning her head to the side, clenched my heart painfully. It confused me as well, though. Just last night she'd told me to go with it and be happy, and now she was waffling, uncertainty and apprehension clear in her rigid pose.
"I'm not really understanding what the big deal is here." I could hear the confusion in my voice as Alice's eyes finally snapped to mine, anger and something else that I couldn't quite place rolling off of her tiny body in stifling waves.
"You don't know what the big deal is, J? You don't understand why I'm so upset right now? You made me look like a fucking fool, that's what the big deal is. When I called James, he fucking laughed at me – laughed – after making some off-hand comment about me not being able to keep tabs on my boyfriend." Tears trailed down the sides of her face, dripping and pooling on the table top as her shoulders shook with her repressed sobs. I rose from my seat swiftly and walked around to the other side of the table, wrapping my arms around Alice tightly, and my chin resting on the top of her head. Guilt ran through me with every salt-tinged teardrop fell from her face.
"I – I'm sorry, Al. I wasn't thinking … it just – I haven't felt that way about anyone in so fucking long. Fuck, I can't even explain to you how I feel or what I want but being with him just felt right. And I'm not trying to make excuses for what – for not considering any backlash that you'd have to deal with, I just don't know what to do right now." I waited silently as Alice's tears and tremors slowed her breathing uneven and shallow while she wiped the back of her hand across her face and frowned at the black streaks that showed up.
"I don't mean to be such a bitch, Jasper. I love you, yes, but I want you to be happy. I just don't want to be left behind. You're my best friend and yet, you forgot about our weekend routine." She inhaled shakily as she tilted her head up so that she could see my face, "You forgot about me and that really fucking hurt."
My eyes closed momentarily as I swallowed thickly, feeling the guilt and anger toward myself for making her feel this way. Alice was my best friend – my only true friend and, with the exception of Edward, the only person who really knew me – and I'd hurt her. It hadn't been intentional, but that hardly mattered. There wasn't anyone else in my life – family aside – that was more important to me than she was.
"I'm sorry, Al. So fucking sorry," I whispered into the top of her head again, hugging her a little tighter as the words left my mouth.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
I collapsed onto my bed the moment I walked into my room, hoping that James hadn't heard me get in completely exhausted from the lengthy discussion I'd had with Alice. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky and moments after I'd closed my eyes, my head buried under the pillow, I heard my door swing open, banging against the wall behind it, as James stepped into my room.
"You're paying to get that fixed, fucker," I verbalized, lifting the pillow off my head and turning toward the door. "Is there a reason that you're barging into my room without knocking?"
"There is," he intoned a slightly maniacal glint in his eyes as he sat on the top of my desk and pulled a familiar looking piece of paper from his pocket. I felt my eyes widening as I glimpsed the number scrawled on it, elegant and flawless enough to be mistaken for the handwriting of a girl, the initials "EAC" the only identifying mark.
"As we were leaving Femme Nu last night, I thought I saw your car but … I didn't see the pixie's anywhere around so I figured I was mistaken. Apparently, though –" I swallowed thickly as he smoothed the paper on top of my desk, leering at me like we shared some huge secret. "I wasn't mistaken. When Alice called me this morning, I'll admit, I was intrigued since she's always been such a bitch to me. I never expected the reason for her call to be so scandalous."
I reached over hastily, snatching the number from beneath his fingers and stuck it back in my pocket, cursing myself for not grabbing it before I'd left earlier. Of course James would fucking go through my shit, wondering where the hell I'd been last night if it hadn't been with Alice. Scandalous indeed, if only he had any idea just how fucking 'scandalous' it was, I'd be screwed, and not in that good, life-affirming sort of way either.
"It's not like that," I finally muttered, sitting up and leaning against the wall with my legs stretched out in front of me. "Alice … she had to leave early to take care of something at home and suggested that I hang out with –" With the fucking hot tattooist that had just finished inking me and then proceeded to blow my mind, quite literally at that. "A friend of hers. The number … I got it just in case we ever decide to hang out again anytime in the future." I was careful to keep the gender of said 'friend' under wraps as I stumbled over my words, hoping that James wasn't perceptive enough to pick up on the anxiety I was feeling.
James chuckled as he stood up and walked toward the door, pausing briefly with his hand on the knob and surveying me once more. "I certainly hope that you can lie to your girlfriend better than that, I'd hate to see her completely emasculate you after finding out you fucked her friend." With that, he exited, the walls shuddering at the force he'd used to close my door.
I closed my eyes fleetingly; exhaling a deep breath before entering Edward's number into my phone and tossed the paper into the trashcan beside my bed. My brain was being assaulted by a torrent of information from my earlier discussion with Alice and this new development with James. It pained me that he thought I'd cheated on her, the last thing I'd wanted was to make her look like a doormat, but it was preferable to him knowing the truth. If I wanted this thing – whatever the hell it was – to continue with Edward, I needed to figure out the rest of my life first. Was I ready to come out, ruin my career and shame my family for my own selfish reasons? Damned if I do and damned if I fucking don't.
With that thought, I lay back on my bed resolved to not think about any of it until I'd gotten some rest. My subconscious seemed to have other ideas, though, as I drifted off to sleep with visions of bright green eyes, copper colored hair and pale, inked flesh dancing behind my eye lids.
A/N: This concludes yet another installment of Verum Quod Eventus and I do hope that you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I'd like to make note, however, that as of right now, I'm sort of winging it and Purest of Pain, my other multi-chap, is my first priority. Please read and review, let me know your thoughts. Any links pertaining to this chapter, as well as the previous one, can be found on my profile.
Fidelitas: Loyalty
Panthers: As a tattoo motif, the panther makes a powerful statement about the person who chooses it, for it is a symbol of courage, strength and personal leadership. This is the largest and most ferocious cat of the Americas, pound for pound more fierce and dangerous than: the tiger, the lion or the leopard. The panther is at the pinnacle of the food chain in the Americas. The panther / jaguar is fiercely independent and cunning. It is the only large cat that routinely hunts in the water.
Wings: A representation of a Wing or Wings as a tattoo design, of course, symbolizes flight. But if we give wing to our imagination for a moment, if only as a romantic gesture, we can say that they signify the escape from the bonds of earthly existence to the limitless freedom of the spirit. Wings stand for peace, love, and the link between earth and sky -- between the human and the divine -- and as symbols of transcendence and liberation.
A light from the shadows shall spring: This line is taken from the poem "All That is Gold Does Not Glitter" by J.R.R. Tolkien for the novel The Lord of the Rings. The full poem reads as follows:
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.