It has been about a month since the last time you saw Sollux in the dreambubbles and it is nearing your wriggling day.
You log on to your computer and click on the icon for Trollian. You and Rose have been talking a lot lately. Who can blame you? Sol had stopped answering your trolls and you needed serious therapy. Rose always seemed to understand anyways. No matter how many horrible things you described, she always seemed to only nod coolly and reply with simplicity, giving you great suggestions. Although her current state was slightly shaky (her being on human soporifics half the time) you still could talk it out about each others problems with little to no shame. You felt comfortable around her...it was almost like you had found a friend.
caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] at 1:34 PM
CA: hey Rose
CA: Rose
CA: are you there?
TT: of corse im ehre
TT: *here
CA: oh cod, not again
TT: waht?
CA: rose you got to stop drinkin that human soporific stuff
CA: its makin it hard for me to talk to you seriously wwithout you interruptin wwith some incoherent blabber that has nothin to do wwith anythin
TT: Eridan!
TT: I alomst frgot! Its your brithday soon!
CA: exactly.
CA: wwhat evven IS that?
TT: teh day you were bron!
TT: *born
TT: its VERy improtant!
CA: i'm sure Kan's told you that wwe don't celebrate that human trash. No one CARES about the day I wwas hatched.
CA: wwhy wwould they if they wwish i HADN'T hatched?
TT: oh coem ON Erdian!
TT: *eridan
TT: do i need to sing you a long song about loving who you are?
TT: becasue i will.
-Rose then sings a long song about loving who you are that was interrupted by her vomiting and collapsing to the ground several times. But...I won't feature it here because you don't need to see it, it's too much for your young ears to handle...thatandimtoolazytothinkofasongandwriteito ut.
CA: wwoww
CA: that wwas disturbin
TT: i hvae one about being polite too!
TT: so shut up
CA: OH DEAR COD PLEASE NO!
TT: im thrwoing you a brithday partyyyyy!
CA: no one wwill evven come wwhy bother?
TT: ill coem!
CA: wwoww sounds like a great party
CA: the greatest
TT: good. your mood imporved
(( I didn't do that typo on purpose... O-O))
CA: that wwas sarcasm.
CA: Kan told me about it.
CA: wwait- wweren't YOU the one wwho told HER about it?!
TT: oh yeahh.
TT: i frogot.
TT: *forgot
TT: anyways, id better get strated on taht. bye eridan!
CA: thanks for ALL the help!
TT: sarcasm?
CA: yep.
tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 2:26 PM
You sigh and return to your contacts list and scroll through until you find Sols troll tag, then click on it, even though you're almost certain he won't answer.
caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 2:28 PM
CA: Sol?
CA: …
CA: Hey Sol!
CA: Sol
CA: Sol
CA: Sol
CA: Sol
CA: Sol
CA: Sol
TA: ED what ii2 WRONG wiith you?
TA: gog. you've been doiing that for the pa2t few week2 and that beepiing noii2e ii2 gettiing really annoyiing!
CA: wwhat do you mean, "that beeping noise is gettin really annoyin"? it's only cause you wwon't answwer me you cod damn IDIOT!
TA: 2ome people are really bu2y tryiing to actually help everyone who'2 stiill aliive out!
TA: have you ju2t giiven up hope completely?
TA: thii2 ii2 why you never achiieved God Tiier! That, and oh YEAH, you DIIED!
CA: ok
CA: THAT
CA: wwas unnecessarily harsh Sol
TA: do ii 2OUND liike ii giive a flyiing fuck?!
TA: hone2tly, you're 2uch a whiiny ba2tard! wwe got THII2 far and you're ju2t 2iittiing around waiitiing for EVERYONE to diie becau2e 2OMEHOW you 2tiill thiink we have no chance of surviival what2oever. you ju2t GAVE UP! and the iironiic thiing ii2 that we miight have 2tood more of a chance iif you hadn't KIILLED everyone!
CA: wwait.
CA: did you say, "wwe"?
TA: ye2 ii probably 2aiid "we" a few time2. iit2 a normal word. iit appear2 2everal tiime2 in conver2ation2. e2pecially about a group of people.
TA: hence, "we"
CA: no, i mean literally "wwe"
CA: you used my quirk an evveryfin
TA: and iif ii diid, that would mean...?
CA: …
TA: wow, you really are a TOTAL creep. becau2e ju2t becau2e ii make a typo that totally mean2 ii want two fiill bucket2 wiith you or 2ome other 2tupiid 2hiit.
TA: ii hone2tly don't know WHAT goe2 on iin that creepy liittle thiinkpan of your2.
TA: empha2ii2 on liittle.
CA: wwoww, you're really charmin
CA: really, thats such a nice thing to say to someone
CA: mm hmm, not assumptuous at ALL
TA: 2top u2iing the dumba22 human 2arca2m ED, iit2 2tupiid.
CA: really? i find it quite effective wwhen some dumbass pissblood land-dwweller jerk comes up and starts pepperin you wwith insults that don't evven make any sense considerin the only insultin thing i'vve said to you myself wwas that you wwere bein an idiot, and that wwas for a GOOD REASON.
CA: it really makes me feel bad wwhen you remind me of things like that just because you're angry.
CA: you havve no idea howw often i think about that stuff
CA: no idea howw often i spend the night cryin and wwantin to KILL MYSELF.
CA: regretin EVVERY SINGLE GLUBBIN DECISION I EVVER MADE IN MY ENTIRE PATHETIC LIFE!
CA: and then you just take a stab at me like that.
CA: haha it's so funny
TA: ii don't thiink iit2 funny fii2hfuck
TA: ii thiink iit2 2tupiid that you come iin here and try two talk two me everyday and never giive up on 2omethiing 2o lame and pathetiic when you KNOW ii probably won't answer, yet when thiing2 get tough and you thiink we're probably goiing two diie and you're ju2t fuckiing jealous, you ju2t giive up.
TA: let2 weiigh the iimportance of those two thiing2.
TA: keepiing our race aliive
TA: and talkiing two me
TA: apparently, the liife of what, three people? ii2n't a2 iimportant two you a2 gettiing the attentiion of 2omeone who'2 not an2weriing becau2e he probably doe2n't want two talk to some a22wiipe liike you and ha2 much more iimportant thiing2 two be doiing!
TA: and then you make a whole tragiic romance out of a typo, that probably ii2 ju2t a re2ult of haviing two talk two 2ome bulgeliick wiith an annoyiing quiirk liike YOU!
CA: well, i don't have to talk with the quirk if it annoys you THAT much, see?
CA: and i didn't know you felt that way
CA: so i'm sorry for being..what is it you called me?
CA: oh yeah an...asswipe, bulgelick, fishfuck, creep, whiny bastard, and uh...MYSELF.
CA: just like everyone else.
CA: so yeah, i'm sorry, although i think i may have said that a few times before
CA: how many times DO i have to say it? does it not mean anythin after killin someone?
CA: does sorry not mean anythin whether i feel remorse for my actions or not?
Oh cod, why were you crying? You wiped the violet tears from your eyes with the back of your hand. This was stupid.
CA: look, i just wanted to talk to you about what happened last month
TA: there2 nothiing two talk about, ii ju2t got a liitle carriied away that2 all.
TA: ii know now never two expre22 my true and 2eriiou2 opiiniion about anythiing that iimportant and per2onal agaiin becau2e obviiou2ly neiither of u2 can handle iit.
TA: 2o 2orry, you're not gettiing your2elf a mate2priiit and you're 2tupiid for thiinkiing that anythiing that happened la2t month meant anythiing. ii gotta go, AA need2 me.
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 3:17 PM
Sollux Captor let out a long sigh and pushed away from his computer, flying backwards on his swivel chair. That was close.
You are now Sollux Captor.
The thing about AA needing you wasn't true at all, so when another chat window opens up you are able to answer it. And quite frankly, you're glad to have a conversation that doesn't have anything to do with Eridan Ampora.
tentacleTherapist [TT] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 3:19 PM
TT: hey
TT: did yuo no its erdians brithday in a few weeks?
sheesh.
TA: oh hey ro2e
TA: 2top driinkiing
TT: funny. Eridan was jsut tellgin me taht.
just when you thought you were avoiding the topic of Eridan, here we go.
TA: hm.
TA: well no, ii had no iidea iit wa2 eriidan2 wriiggliing day 2oon. thank2 for keepiing me updated on that exciitiing new2.
TA: go2h, iit2 2O exciitiing ii miight ju2t faiint from how fuckiing exciitiing thii2 ii2
TT: is this sarcasm agian?
TA: you bet.
TT: oh my gosh, you two are jsut perfcet for eachothre
TT: you think EXACLTY teh sanme!
TA: what
TA: no
really, all you wanted to do was NOT talk about Eridan for one conversation, just to get him off your mind. You feel your face flush.
The hivetop beeps. It seems you're getting another message. You open the window.
apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 3:22 PM
AA: s0llux.
AA: eridan is b0thering me.
AA: he keeps saying he has t0 talk to y0u and that y0u said y0u were with me.
AA: but...y0u're n0t.
TA: ugh.
TA: god damn it
TA: ii told hiim ii wa2
AA: but then what d0 I tell him?
AA: since y0u're n0t?
TA: tell hiim ii am
AA: but he wants to talk t0 y0u.
TA: ju2t...pretend two be me.
AA: O_o …?
TA: plea2e aa
TA: ii really DON'T want two talk two hiim
AA: 0kay
AA: but y0u can't hide fr0m him f0rever.
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 3:24 PM
=== Aradia: carry out this dreadful task.
You are now Aradia, and you are doing the dreadful task.
Time to put your acting skills to good use! That is to say, the acting skills that don't exist.
But you are such a good actor, you are able to pretend that they DO! :D
CA: so, wwill he talk to me?
AA: yes, uh, h0ld 0n.
AA: he d0esn't have his hivet0p with him, s0 i'll just give him mine and he can talk thr0ugh my trolltag.
AA: i just gave it t0 him.
CA: okay...?
AA: hey fii2h breath...um...
AA: ii don't want two talk two you...beecau2e ii hate you...ii thiink..
AA: and um...
AA: bee2 are awe2ome!
CA: -_- i knoww its you Ara
CA: don't evver take up actin as a career.
AA: aww
AA: i th0ught i was pretty g00d.
CA: Sol doesn't say "bees are awesome" at random times.
CA: you know that...right?
AA: 0_0
AA: c0uld we...disc0ntinue this c0nversati0n...
AA: it is making me...
AA: sweat.
AA: :D
CA: alright, I admit, that wwas a dead on eq.
CA: bye.
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 3:27 PM
You are now Sollux again, though this Sollux is from a few minutes before Aradia and Eridan ended their conversation.
You switch back to your conversation with Rose. Hopefully, Aradia can keep Eridan busy for a while before he figures it out and tries to talk to you again. Why does he want to talk to you so badly?
TA: 2orry, aa trolled me.
TT: tahts okay
TT: anyways, waht i was gonig
TT: *going
TT: to ask you was if you wanted to come to the brithday praty im thorwing eridan.
TA: 2eriiou2ly? ED ii2 lettiing you throw hiim a wriiggliing day party?
TT: well...he didn't STOP me.
TT: so...yaeh
TA: 2o, are you iinviitiing everyone he kiilled? ii2 that the theme?
TT: no...there isn't raelly a tehme
TT: *theme
TT: but im srue he wld want you there
TA: WHY?!
TT: beacuase he liiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkeeeeeeesssss you!
TA: that2 the 2tupiide2t thiing ii've ever heard.
why are you blushing? STOP BLUSHING!
TT: well tahts waht he tlod me...
TA: …
TT: um...
TT: okay, the night afetr you stoped tlaking to him, he was real dperessed...so i gave him something to cheer him up.
TA: you gave hiim 2oporiifiic2?
TT: shhhhhhhh!
TT: im tleling a stroy
TT: anyways, then he jsut cmae out wif evreything
TT: EVREYTHING.
"that. was. private!"
You feel your eyes begin to spark with red and blue light.
TT: why do yuo thnik he wnats to tlak to you so badddllyy?
TT: he LOOOOVOVOVVVVVEEEEESSSssssss youy!
TT: *you
just great. you're blushing like mad.
"calm down. try not two take it two seriously. she's on soporifics Captor."
TT: why don't you go? it wont be taht bad i prmoize.
TT: *promise
TA: you know what?
TA: fine.
TA: iit'll giive me a chance two RIIP HIIM TO 2HRED2!
TT: tahts the sprit!
TT: srot of.
TT: wlel, i'll leave you alone. i still haev to invite erveyone.
TT: bye!
tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 3:38 PM