After all the goodbyes from Diane and promises to call when they got there, it was time to leave. Everyone piled into the landrover. There was room for three people in the front and the rest were in the back over two rows of seats. Tilly was the last to climb aboard, so had to sit in the last seat available, and as no one else had wanted to take it, it was next to Jen.
'Fuuuuuck' she thought to herself as she paused, then continued to the empty seat and sat down. Jen turned to look at her, the first direct eye contact in months, and Tilly gave her an apologetic half-smile. It was so cramped where they were sitting their bare shoulders were touching, and this was not lost on Tilly. There was clearly an atmosphere between them but what was it? Was it the awkwardness of being close to someone you have a history with? Was it that confusion of how they stood with each other now it was all over? Was it the weight of unsaid things mounting up over the last three months, not allowing it to get closure? Jen turned away to look out of the window and put her headphones on, tuning out to the rest of the car.
'This is gonna be a long week' thought Tilly as she turned back to look out of the opposite window.

She could do without this. She decided to ignore it, this was Tilly's holiday and she was not going to let this affect her. She would play it cool. If Jen could, so could Tilly. She would show Jen that she had moved on, that Jen no longer had that power over her. Tilly had always been the one who seemed more keen, more demanding. 'Screw it!' she thought 'this is my holiday and I'm going to have some fun!' She could ignore the fact that Jen was there too.

The journey was fun. Everyone was excited and there was lots of chatting and giggling, and plenty of singing. Jen kept her headphones in but when she could see them all laughing hysterically she paused her music, wondering what they were talking about. Tilly had assumed Jen's music was still playing so she had stopped being self conscious and had gone back to being herself with her friends. She didn't know that Jen was listening, and had spent the journey being unintentionally funny and charming. Jen couldn't help it, she let out a sly smile at some of the things Tilly was saying, particularly when Maddie had got lost and Tilly was giving her hassle for it, taking the mickey in an affectionate way. It was made funnier because Maddie really couldn't handle it, but Tilly knew how to tease her friend - pushing her enough to make a joke out of it, but not too far so that Maddie got genuinely upset. She was being cheeky and Jen was really enjoying it. She had forgotten how feisty Tilly could be and reminded herself of how, in the beginning, Tilly had called her out on being pretentious, teased her, refused to back down, challenged her. Jen had found it irresistible.

After a while the conversation turned to a game of 'would you rather'. The questions had started well, Tilly had asked 'would you rather marry someone rich or someone funny' to which Maddie had replied 'rich', naturally. Then it had descended into more juvenile territory with the boys asking the girls 'would you rather have an unshaveable beard or an unshaveable hairy chest'.

Jen listened in as the conversation carried on, and looked out of the window, her mind turned over. This was the Tilly that Jen had first met. Confident, sharp as a tack, witty, clever. Things had got so stressful between them once it was discovered Tilly was her student. Tilly had turned into a petulant child, making idle threats, sulking, it had made it easier for Jen to walk away, to focus on the thing she had given up Tilly for, and it had worked. Jen had really liked Tilly, she had sparked with her in a way she hadn't done before, or at least that she could remember. But once her career was on the line it had not been worth it. She couldn't trust Tilly not to act like a child if things all went wrong. The risk was far too great, and she had put it away in her head, and moved on.

But now, seemingly, that Tilly was gone, and the one Jen liked in the first place was back. Jen could see she was a step beyond her friends, Sinead and Bart particularly, and she wondered how long they would all remain friends for, once Tilly left home for university, away from them. Tilly clearly viewed the world a bit differently than they did and Jen couldn't help thinking she was destined for bigger and better things. Tilly seemed now much more mature and level headed. Plus Jen had forgotten how funny Tilly could be. How really clever people could be hilarious. Tilly was making Jen laugh without meaning to, but she couldn't let on, even when she was the only one that understood one of Tilly's jokes, she couldn't let her know.

After a couple of hours' drive they arrived at the beach house. They all jumped out of the car, a mass of squeals and excitement. Jen followed behind as they walked up to the house. As they went inside, Jen felt pleased that she had decided to come. The house was gorgeous, right on the sand dunes, elevated and looking over the long sandy beach. It was amazing, and the views were incredible. They cracked open some bubbles and Jen hung back against the wall, aware that she was not really part of this, an outsider, until Tilly turned around and offered her a glass with a smile
'come on!'
Jen returned the smile and took the glass, then toasted with the rest of them as they drank to an awesome week on the beach. They all took their drinks out onto the balcony to look at the sea.
It was at that point that Jen spotted the bus. 'Is that mine?' she asked Maddie
'Yup! all yours Miss Gilmore!'
'Its Jen while we're here, Maddie' she said with a smile
'Get into it Jen!' Maddie returned as she handed her a set of keys 'there's one for the bus, and one for the house. You'll need to come up here to use the toilet and the kitchen. And we guarantee there will always be a bottle of wine in the fridge for you, you have done us a massive favour, thank you SO much for coming!'
'its my pleasure' smiled Jen in reply, then turned back to look at the bus. It was a converted 1960s Bedford, and was nestled at the end of the garden, amongst the sand dunes, away from the house. She wandered down the garden, glass in hand to have a look. Tilly watched her as she went. She saw her round the corner to the door, fumble with the lock, then smile and enter.

Just then, George ran past, semi naked 'C'mon!' he yelled and jumped off the balcony, running down onto the beach. 'Last one in the sea is a big fat Gay!'. Tilly giggled, and joined the others as they stripped down to their underwear and ran into the waves.
Jen giggled too as she saw several heads bob past the window of the bus, followed by a familiar red-head at the back. 'I guess you're the big fat Gay then Tilly' she smiled to herself.

The following day, Jen woke early, made herself a cup of coffee and headed out to the top of the sand dunes to watch the sunrise. Tilly was awake too, and had already gone down to the sea for an early morning swim. She was on her way back to the house, looking down, drying her hair in a towel, when she looked up to see Jen sitting in the sand dunes, just off the path between her at the house. She carried on walking, head down, pretending she hadn't seen her. She had to walk pretty close to Jen to get back to the house though, so as she passed, Jen called out to her
'Hey!'
Tilly looked up 'Hey' she replied with a smile
This was the first time they had been alone in months.
'You're up early...'
'I couldn't sleep'
'Me neither, I didn't wanna miss this!' Jen gestured to the early morning sun with a smile
'Maddie's been snoring all night' countered Tilly
'Oh!' returned Jen, she had assumed Tilly wanted to view the sunrise too. 'She may look like a princess, but she's got some pipes on her!' Tilly moaned
'Wow!' returned Jen, 'I wouldn't have expected that, she's so small and delicate!'
'Me neither, but shes a foghorn, I'm telling you! If I'd known I'd have never agreed to let her share my room' continued Tilly 'she was supposed to be in the bus! Now I know why!'
'Oops, sorry...' offered Jen
'No no! You've done us a favour by coming! Sinead couldn't have come if you weren't here! We appreciate it, really...'
Jen paused and mocked slightly at the plural 'Oh, do we?'
Tilly smiled 'We do...', then held Jen's gaze, both smiling.
They paused, still looking at each other, until Tilly decided she needed to address the elephant in the room 'Look I hope this is gonna be OK, us on holiday together'
'It'll be fine...' Jen grinned, playing it cool 'we're friends aren't we?'
Tilly felt a weight lift off her shoulders, and nodded 'well yes we are!'
'Good' replied Jen, looking straight into Tilly's eyes. She may have been imagining it, but to Tilly it seemed like the sparks were still there, at least they were for her. She paused, returning Jen's grin, refusing to look away, she would not be the one who broke first. 'Good!' she said as she carried on looking.
Jen smiled back, a big smile that took over her face, her eyes were sparkling. Tilly couldn't help it, she caved in, and looked down. She could feel her cheeks go red, and felt suddenly shy. She needed to say something to try to cover it up, to continue as normal. 'Ok, then, I'm getting cold' she rubbed her arms 'I'm gonna go get some breakfast'. She paused, then continued 'friends can get breakfast together cant they?'
'It would be weird if friends didn't...' replied Jen as she held out her hands for Tilly to pull her up from sitting on the dunes.
Tilly stepped forwards and grabbed Jen's hand, then pulled backwards to lift her up, as she did so Jen stumbled into her personal space. Both girls looked down, embarrassed at the contact. They broke away from each other, and Jen straightened her clothes from being sat down. Tilly turned towards the house and started walking. Jen followed. Then Tilly turned back to make small talk with her on the walk up the garden. She had decided she would be friendly to Jen, she would treat her like everyone else on the holiday. She could do this.

They had an enjoyable breakfast together. Tilly cooked scrambled eggs for both of them, and they soon relaxed into the conversation. There was no more tension, they just hung out together, it was easy chit-chat, catching up on the last 3 months, like old familiar friends. They both enjoyed spending time together, then after half an hour or so the others slowly joined. The kettle went on and the day began. After a while Jen felt like she should head back to the bus. She wasn't part of the group, and whilst they had been friendly to her, she knew that she was there to serve a purpose. Plus she wanted to keep some distance between them, otherwise it would undermine her position at college next term. As Tilly watched her walk down the path she thought how good it had felt to chat together again as friends. 'If that's all we can be I will take it' she thought 'it's better than nothing'. She had missed Jen's company.

A few hours later, Jen heard giggling as the teenagers all walked past the bus on the path to the beach, so she stepped outside and up onto the sand dunes to watch them as they headed past. She thought how they looked so carefree, just mucking around, being silly, having a laugh together. She felt a small pang of jealousy, thinking back to when she was their age. It was not so long ago, only four years, but those years she had spent since leaving home, traveling and at university, had been the best of her life. She felt different now, now that she had a proper job. No more ditching class because she had a hangover, or simply didn't feel like going. Now she was in the adult world that kind of behaviour would get her fired. Thinking about it reminded her again of how much she missed student life.

As she stood there lost in thought, Tilly ran in front of her to join the others. She was in her bikini. Jen thought how good she looked. She was really beautiful, striking actually, athletic, bursting with life. Tilly perhaps sensed she was being watched and suddenly stopped running to turn around and look straight back at Jen. There must have only been twenty metres or so between them. She saw that Jen was looking at her and gave her a genuine smile that lit up her whole face. Jen couldn't help it, she smiled broadly back. Tilly beckoned her down to join them on the beach, but Jen shook her head and made the signal with her hands to show that she was going to do some drawing instead. Tilly shrugged and waved then continued down the path to join her friends. Jen smiled as she watched her jog away and carried on smiling long after Tilly had joined her friends. Jen suddenly realised what she was doing and snapped herself out of her daydream, going back into the bus to pick up her sketch book.

Taking a rug with her, Jen climbed up into the sand dunes and found a comfortable sheltered spot near the highest point. She could see the entire length of the bay. She pulled out a pencil, opened her book and started lightly tracing what was before her onto an empty page.
The gang played around in the waves for an hour or so, then Tilly left them and headed back to the house. She saw Jen in the dunes, not far from the path and stopped to say hello
'Hey how's it going?' she offered, cheerfully
'Good thanks' Jen put her pencil down and returned the smile
'You managing to have a good time?'
Jen gestured towards the beach 'Who wouldn't!?'
'True' Tilly paused 'And how's the bus? Maddie wasn't lying when she told you it was cosy was she?'
'Not at all! It doesn't look it, but actually it's really awesome!' Jen replied with a big smile 'I love it! I'm going to steal it and drive it home'
'Wow!' Tilly nodded in approval 'perhaps the first time Maddie hasn't lied to get her own way!?'
'Perhaps!' replied Jen, then after a pause she continued 'You were right about this place. It doesn't feel like we are in Wales. On a perfect day like today it really feels like we are in the south of France or something...'
Tilly was surprised 'Oh! Have we talked about Abersoch before?'
'Yeah, when we went to the Gormleys, you remember?' Jen replied, before she had time to think what she was saying. Mentioning Crosby beach had inadvertently brought back memories for both of them.
Tilly looked straight at Jen 'I remember the beach, I don't remember that conversation...' she replied. Talking about the day of their first kiss had made the mood change. All of a sudden the air felt loaded, less casual. Jen gulped, she shouldn't have said that. But then Tilly angled her neck to look at Jen's sketchbook and brushed away the tension cheerfully, like it had never happened.
'You getting some good sketches?'
'Not so much' said Jen as she shut the book 'you've heard of writers block? I think I have artists block...'
Tilly raised her eyebrows 'Sounds painful!' she joked 'you might need to get some cream for that...'
Jen giggled, then paused, holding their eye contact, smiling. The tension was back again. She was the first to break the silence this time, 'Maybe I just need a break' she said shrugging her shoulders, trying to appear normal.
'Or... maybe you just need more wine?' suggested Tilly flirtatiously, punctuating her comment with a cheeky smile. Then she turned around and sauntered off back in the direction of the house.

Jen watched her as she left. She felt a familiar feeling in her stomach, slightly nervous, slightly excited.
'Ugh...' she thought, 'this was a really bad idea...'