Day of the Decepti-Kitties 2

Ok you remembered where we left of right? Megatron comes up with his craziest plan yet and trust me on this, it is insane...he plans to turn his army of evil, scary and terrible Decepticon army into an army of cute, little robot kitties...yeah...insane...and I wrote it...that would make me insane...anyway after forcing the Constructicons to build the machine that will turn his soldiers into cute soldiers Megatron was ready to start a test-run and for that he needed a volunteer.

'Alright, one of you is going to become cute first!'

No one was ready to become cute so what a surprise it was that no one stepped forward. Megatron grumbled, how was he going to pick one of his troops to test run the Cute machine...is that what we're calling it now? It is? Fine, so as Megatron pondered who he was going to make cute first he suddenly got one heck of an idea, running towards his main broadcast system to contact the only Decepticon he trusted and the only Decepticon who really pissed him off. After tuning into the right frequencies he finally patched through into Cybertron's main security program to find that no one was there.

'Shockwave? Where the slag are you!?' screamed Megatron, howling down the mic.

After a second or two Shockwave appeared wearing a rose coloured apron and covered in Energon goodie slop, apparently he had interrupted the one armed Decepticon officer in his kitchen duties.

'Oh Megatron, wasn't expecting you to call...I was in the middle of baking some Energon goodies I was going to send you in the next shipment! Did you get my e-mails?'

'Yes Shockwave, all 67 billion of them and they were very...informative...especially the one when you described your day...now forget the treats for one astro-second and listen to me, I need your advice!'

Shockwave threw off the apron and awaited his leaders command, hoping it would be something worthy of his talents, however he was in for a real shock...get it? No? Alright I'll shut up...

'What is it mighty Megatron?' asked Shockwave, trying to look and sound important.

'Shockwave if you wanted to test a machine that would turn big, scary Decepticons into cute little ones who would you test it on first and how would you know if they truley become so cute that the Autobots would not be able to touch them?'

There was yet another silence and Shockwave's composed form suddenly began to stagger.

'W-What?' squeaked Shockwave.

'Don't make me repeat myself Shockwave! Now who would I test it on first!?' growled Megatron, starting to get annoyed

For one split second the one-optic Decepticon looked like he was about to faint but he supported himself quickly and tried to remain calm. Megatron waited for an answer but Shockwave had to excuse himself so he could think for a moment but he was really panicking.

'Has Megatron finally snapped? Has all these long years on Earth affected his logic circuits? Was it something I said in the e-mails? Was it something I put in his Energon cookies!? Why? WHY!? WHY!? DID I SEND HIM ALL THOSE COOKIES!? WHY!?'

After screaming out his horrors to the universe he ran back to computor, all calm and composed. Megatron sighed with releif after seeing his most trusted officer return to the screen and awaited his most trusted advice.

'So Lord Megatron you want to test your machine that would turn a big, scary Decepticon into a cute little one but you don't know who to test it on? I would suggest you test it on the ugliest Decepticon you have and then throw him into the mercy of a cold-hearted Autobot, one who hates everything small and cute!'

'Excellent Shockwave, you have proved your worth...end transmission and send more cookies!'

As Megatron went back to his Decepticons, Shockwave ran off to his kitchen to figure out what he had put in his cookies to make his leader act so crazy. The Decepticons cringed when their leader returned with a scary look on his face.

'Loyal Decepticons I have come with an idea on who to test the cute machine on first! I have decided to use the most hideous looking Decepticon I have and then throw him to the mercy of a cold-hearted Autobot, who hates everything cute!'

AutobotV: It was Shockwave's idea!

Megatron: Shut up!

All The Decepticons suddenly got a nasty feeling about this and Starscream had a nasty feeling that he was going to be picked sine he always got picked to test things but Megatron must of read his mind because he shook his head.

'No Starscream I will not pick, you got that pretty boy face everyone loves! I will pick the most foul looking Decepticon I have in my ranks!'

Starscream was a little happy that Megatron wasn't calling him ugly and at this point all the Decepticons now got a little curious as to who Megatron thought was the ugliest Decepticon ever to grace the ranks of the Decepticons, hell I'm even curious. Megatron smirked as he pointed a finger to the most foul looking Decepticon he had ever known.

'You, Thundercracker, shall be the first to become cute!'

Thundercracker's jaw dropped in shock, as did everyone else's.

'Wait WHAT! I'm the ugly one!' wailed Thundercracker.

'Yes Thundercracker you make me sick just to look at you!' growled Megatron.

'THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! I LOOK LIKE STARSCREAM AND YOU SAY HE HAS A PRETTY FACE!' screamed Thundercracker.

'Be quiet you fool, you look nothing like Starscream, he's red and you're blue so you don't look anything alike, you see my point!?' snapped Megatron.

'B-But that doesn't make any sense!' wailed the blue Seeker.

'Just get in the machine you foul beast!'

Defeated the blue Seeker sobbed as he got up and headed towards the machine. As Thundercracker sulked and walked into the machine, Skywarp suddenly got a little curious himself and ran up to his leader to ask a question he was a little afraid to ask.

'Lord Megatron, we Seekers look alike but you say Starscream has a pretty boy face and Thundercracker is ugly...what does that make me?'

Megatron sneered and smacked Skywarp round the head.

'You're just plain looking and boring...I hardly notice you half the time since you have such a plain looking face!' sneered Megatron.

AutobotV: OK wait a minute Megatron I'm confused...they all look alike!

Megatron: So?

AutobotV: So how can Starscream be pretty, Thundercracker be ugly and Skywarp plain looking when they have the same faces!? The only difference they have is their paint jobs!

Megatron: There is a major difference, you see Starscream has the face of an angel whilst Thundercracker look like an abomination from the darkest pits of hell!

AutobotV: ...................but....THEY LOOK ALIKE!

Megatron: They look nothing alike! Now be quiet!

AutobotV: Wait, what if I made Thundercracker red and Starscream blue?

Megatron: What difference would that make you fool!? Now leave me alone so I can continue my work!

AutobotV: But you just said-

Megatron: SHUT UP!

Well I'm gonna have to figure this one out later so let's continue with the story. Thundercracker was sealed up within the Cute Machine and it began to hiss and make those whirring noises that piss me off. The Decepticons out side could only cower in horror as they listened to the pain their comrade was going through.

'DEAR PRIMUS IT BURNS! SOMEONE, ANYONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!' wailed Thundercracker.

Starscream covered his optics and Soundwave covered his audios as the screaming continued until the machine and the screaming stopped and was replaced by a long silence in the control room. Megatron pushed a button to open the machine and once the doors were opened a cloud of smoke drifted out the machine and covered the floor in a errie mist.

'Thundercracker...did it work?' asked Megatron, trying to see if he can spot the once ugly Seeker.

Then the Decepticons saw a shadow appear, moving slowly towards them until the smoke finally cleared. What the Decepticons saw before them made them all shriek and howl.

'DEAR PRIMUS! THUNDERCRACKER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?'

'MY OPTICS! MY OPTICS!'

'MEGATRON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?'

Megatron began to cackle as he saw the fruits of his labour come to life. Thundercracker was no longer big, scary and ugly...he was shorter...with small limbs and he no longer had a fingers...his head was slightly bigger than his small body and his optics now took up at least three quarters of his face and on his helm was a pair a kitty like ears that moved up and down as Thundercracker looked up at them, a little lost and confused.

AutobotV: DEAR PRIMUS HE'S SOOOO CUTE!

Megatron: HA! It's worked!

However Megatron wasn't yet satisfied, he had to see if this would work on the Autobots and he had to test it on a cold hearted one, one who hated eveything small and cute. Turning to Soundwave, who was covering his optics after looking at Thundercracker, he barked yet another command.

'Soundwave, which Autobot do we know hates small and cute things?' demanded Megatron.

Soundwave pondered and checked his data banks for all the known information he carried about the Autobots. He searched and searched his data banks until he found what he was after.

'The Second in Command of the Autobots Prowl would be a perfect choice...he hates small things, cute things and likes to do the paper-work...he is also close with Jazz who is the third in command and he loves music, dancing, driving at fast speeds and on Monday mornings he likes to lie in for four hours...he loves cats and hates movie nights when Ratchet's in charge and...'

AutobotV: Yes Soundwave...we know you love to stalk Jazz but nows not the time.

Soundwave: Awwwww

Megatron had to admit that if there was such thing as cold hearted Autobot it would be Prowl. Picking up the little Thundecracker he plopped him into Starscream's hand and ordered him to find Prowl and see if he would attack Thundercracker or not. As Starscream flew off into the sky, Thundercracker suddenly developed a fear of heights!

'KYAAAAAAAA! Meggie! Help me! I'm scared!'

Megatron could not help but blush at Thundercracker's now cute voice as the poor little thing panicked in the red jet and all the Decepticons just clasped their hands together and they all went,

'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!'

Yes he was that cute...I think the Autobots are in serious trouble here!

Now our story turns to the Autobot base where the Autobots were in the middle of a meeting hosted by Prowl (well who else would do these things?) and, for a change, Jazz was helping. Little did the poor Autobots know that they were about to face horrors that could spell their doom! That very soon they could, at last, be destroyed or even worse! That they would be thrown into the deepest pits of hell and never re-emerge! Anyway, today's meeting was about last nights Energon Party and it wasn't a surprise that the Autobots got drunk once again.

'Autobots, we have disgraced ourselves with what happened last night! Not only did you lot get drunk, you ran off into town and did a number of stupid things to the general public! Now the Earth thinks we're dangerous idiots!' screamed Prowl, holding a number of complaints in his hand.

The Autobots groaned, they were all in the middle of a hangover and they didn't function well in hangovers. Wheeljack had an iceberg strapped to his head, Ratchet was drinking at least 3 times his prescribed medication to get rid of the headache, Mirage had a number written on his belly with the words "call me" on his chest and poor Sunstreaker was wondering why his aft felt so sore and greasy. The Autobots groaned as Prowl read out the charges.

'Powerglide, the airport banned you from ever landing at any USA Airport after you starting humping all their planes! Hound, you ran over 5 people and then blamed the community for not providing any crossing when you blew it up! Sideswipe, you did your brother in the middle of a school play! Wheeljack, you destroyed a city when you tried to fix a light bulb! Ratchet, you killed a man when transporting him to the nearest hospital! Mirage...you slept with a Go-Bot! And the worst one of all...I don't want to even say it but I will...Optimus...why the slag did you use our most strongest laser to write "Optimus Prime kicked Megatron's Aft you Fucka's" on the moon's surface!?'

Optimus was lying down in the corner with Bumblebee fanning him, the poor Autobot leader didn't even remember the events from last night after drinking his weight in Energon, however he did recall walking past the school to hear crying children and Sunstreaker screaming out in pleasure. He also remembered hearing a screaming man in a passing ambulance but that was all he could remember. He really wasn't in the mood for this meeting but he had a duty to do.

'Alright Prowl, I get it, we fucked up...what are the humans charging us?' sighed Optimus.

Prowl held up a long list.

'They want you to say sorry.'

Optimus Prime's optics widened with surprise.

'That's it!? That's all they wrote on that long pice of paper!?'

'Well they wrote down a number of things I can't say otherwise Red Alert would start crying but yep, you have to say sorry...and Hound is to serve time for killing those people...and Wheeljack's got a death warrant on him...and Ratchet's no longer wanted in the Ambulance service...and the Twins have to go to the school to explain the facts of life...and the English teacher says you can't spell for shit. I don't think they want to punish us that badly because we're the only ones are able to stop the Decepticons.'

Optimus Prime groaned in anger, so what if they blew up a city and killed a few people, why can't the people of Earth understand their way of fun? But if he wanted to throw more parties he had to say sorry first.

'Alright Prowl, just write a dozen "Sorry" letters and send them a gift basket. Plus to be on the safe side brainwash them all to think the Decepticons did it. Oh and Mirage...take a long shower you disgusting machine! What the slag were you thinking!?' demanded Prime.

As Mirage ran off in tears to the nearest acid bath, Prowl ran off to his room to do all the paperwork...again...and since it's really boring I'll just speed up to the part where Prowl was on his way to drop off the sorry letters in a nearby postbox after brainwashing a few humans with the Autobots secret weapon. As he raced through the desert in his police car mode he was unaware of the jet following him in the sky...so I told him.

AutobotV: Hey Prowl, Starscream's behind ya!

Prowl: Really? ...WHO SAID THAT!?

Prowl spun round to see Starscream transform and land behind him with something in hidden in his hand. The Autobot officer was truly pissed off and he pulled out his blaster, aiming it at the Seeker.

'What the slag do you want Starscream!? I'm having a real bad day right now, I have to post a bunch of sorry letters to a bunch of humans, brainwash a few of them and I'm now hearing voices but now you showed up to make it even worse!'

Starscream laughed like he always did and took a step forward.

'Calm yourself Prowl I have come to test something on you...I'm also giving you an opportunity to kill one of the Decepticons!'

Prowl appeared confused as Starscream continued.

'Yes Prowl...today I'm going to let you kill Thundercracker!'

A small silence followed as a confused Prowl tried to get everything straight in his head.

'Who?' queried the Autobot.

'Thundercracker you fool!' snapped Starscream.

'Who's that!?'

'The one who looks like me but he's blue!'

'I didn't know you had a blue look-a-like!'

'He's the one who makes the loud noise when he flies in the sky!'

Prowl pondered for a moment until he figured it out.

'Oh, you mean the really ugly one!'

Starscream sighed but nodded as he held out his hand, something was concealed in his fist and was making a muffled, high-pitched screaming noise. Prowl held out his blaster, ready to fire at whatever was in Starscream's hand as the Seeker opened it.

'Well now Prowl...kill it! It's a Decepticon so you must kill it!'

Prowl's jaw dropped as he gaped at what was in Starscream's hand...a tiny form of Thundercracker with gigantic optics, a small plushy body and cat like ears poking out of his helm. The moment Thundercracker saw Prowl with the blaster he squealed in horror and pounced on Starscream's face, clinging to it and shivering like crazy as small tears appeared at the bottom of his optics.

'KYAAAAAA! Help me Starscream! He's big and scary!' wailed Thundercracker.

AutobotV: HE'S SOOOO CUTE!

Prowl: Yes he...WHO THE SLAG SAID THAT!?

Prowl aimed the blaster at the cute little Thundercracker...but those optics...that deformed body...those kitty ears...Prowl lowered the blaster.

'I...I can't...he's...too cute!'

Starscream cackled with joy and took to the sky, leaving a shaken Prowl behind. It worked, a pissed off, cold hearted Prowl couldn't even harm the cute little Thundercracker, the plan was truly working! As he flew back to base with the cute little screaming Thundercracker, Prowl staggered back to base in shock. Back at the Autobot base Hound was trying to avoid Mirage and hid himself in Jazz's room.

'I can't be seen with him anymore Jazz...he slept with a Go-Bot...that's sick!' sobbed Hound.

'Well what's that gotta do with you!' snapped Jazz.

'What the slag do you think, he's my bitch! I won't be able to go near him without hearing the word "GO-BOT WHORE!" and they'll say I'm his pimp or something! I'm gonna have to break it up with him!'

As Hound sobbed out his woes the alarm went off and of course it meant trouble. Running off to the main entrance Jazz was in shock to find Prowl collapse at the entrance, his optics filled with horror. As Jazz helped the officer up the rest of the Autobots showed up to figure out what had happened.

'Prowl what the slag happened? I got paper-work piling up here and you're sleeping on the job!' snapped Optimus.

Prowl staggered up and grabbed in his leader, he seemed to be in a panic.

'It was horrible sir...I had the chance to kill that really ugly Decepticon...but I couldn't!' wailed the officer.

'Y'mean Thundercracker?'

'Yes sir, that one...but he was...he was...he was really...really...cute!'

And with that Prowl fainted in his leader's arms. Optimus raised his head to face his Autobots, if Prowl couldn't even kill a cute Decepticon then what chances did they had? Letting Prowl slumped to the floor and addressed his Autobots.

'Autobots....we're fucked!'

Indeed they are, now Megatron is going to turn the whole Decepticon army into really cute soldiers of doom! Tune in next time!