For once, most things were going Mal's way. They'd done a nice high paying job, made the crew flush and happy. They were en route to Sihnon for another run that was completely legit, and offered a truly handsome purse at the end. Badger had given them a lead to someone who might know someone with intel about the Alliance's mind control experiments. The prospect of being flush with cash and digging up some dirt on the Alliance to boot had him feeling- well, downright cheerful.

A few little things still bothered him, like chiggers under his skin. Zoë wasn't entirely Zoë. She spoke when spoken to, did her job, but the spark in her eye was gone. She kept to her herself. The only outward form of grieving that she'd allowed was moving her things into Book's old room. Those quarters were for passengers, not crew, but Mal didn't blame her for not wanting to sleep in the bed she'd shared with her husband. He let it go, words unspoken.

Simon and Kaylee spent more time in the doctor's bed than Mal cared to think about. Not that he really wants to think on it at all, but if it starts affecting business, there is going to have to be a conversation. The doc smiles more these days, laughs even, and is just all around more of a human being. Kaylee glows, her happiness shining like a lantern. Most importantly, the ship keeps running and the doc keeps patching his crew up and that is enough for Mal.

—————————

Mal walks from the catwalk into the kitchen. His crew is gathered around the table, eating breakfast. Kaylee smiles at him. "I cooked the last of the eggs." She hands him a plate with two bona fide sunny side up eggs, a hunk of ham from an actual hog and a scoop of rice.

"Oh, that is shiny." Mal pats Kaylee's shoulder, and takes a quick glance around at the table. "Where's River?"

"I assume she's flying the ship, sir," Zoë says quietly.

Mal looks at the empty serving bowls on the table. "No one told her that we were eatin' up the last of the fresh fruit?"

Simon looks up. "I had some set aside..." His gaze lands on a bowl at Jayne's elbow.

Mal frowns at the mercenary. "You can't have those, Jayne. They're for the girl."

"I was here first," he says crankily, "and it's not like her name is written on 'em."

Mal reaches down and grabs the strawberries from Jayne's plate and adds them to River's bowl. "Well, now you get nothing, you selfish son of a bitch."

"That ain't fair," Jayne snaps.

"I'm the Captain, I don't have to be." Mal turns to Kaylee and hands her the fruit. "You keep him away from these and my plate too." She nods, and he heads towards the bridge. "You're missing some very nice grub," he says as he reaches the threshold.

River sits in the co-pilot's chair. Her eyes are fixed on the Cortex screen in front of her, which shows some lucky fellow getting a very thorough blowjob from a girl with long blonde hair. "What the hell!" he exclaims.

River turns around and gives him a sweet smile. "Hi."

"Turn off that crap right now!" he exclaims. River leans forwards and the Cortex screen turns a glowing clear blue. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm learning," she says earnestly.

"Little girl like you ain't got no business watching le se like that," he spits.

Her hands form into angry fists. "I'm not a little girl!" she yells, her brow furrowing. "I'm sick of people saying that!"

"You're only eighteen!" Mal's hand slaps the back of her chair and she jumps. "You're still a gorramn baby!"

She glares up at him. "You're not my father, or my brother. You have no power over me."

"I am your Captain," he answers curtly. "I am father and brother and Buddha, as far as you're concerned."

River frowns. "I don't understand why you're so angry. You're being completely irrational. Sex-"

"Bì zuî!" Mal snaps. "A child…"

She glares at him, her eyes sharp. He thinks of dead men, dead Reavers. "A young lady like yourself has no reason to be watching that gou pi from the Cortex."

"I want to understand," she explains, her voice calm. "I need to know what happens between a man and a woman in bed. And the Cortex has all these vids-"

"I know what you can find on the Cortex," Mal interrupts. "Where did you get this crackbrained idea to look at skin shows?"

River blinks. "Well. Jayne suggested..."

A vein throbs on Mal's temple. He grabs the shipboard intercom and hollers angrily into it. "Jayne, get your gorramn ass up to the bridge!"

"You don't need to be angry," says River.

"Maybe I don't need to be, but I sure as hell am," snaps Mal.

Jayne appears in the doorway, gun in his hands. "What's wrong?" His eyes search the cockpit, looking for a threat.

"Did you tell River to watch skin shows on the Cortex?" asks Mal.

"I didn't tell her to do nuthin'," the mercenary responds, tucking his gun into the holster at his waist.

"It was a suggestion," River explains. "Not a command. He was being very helpful." The girl smiles at Jayne.

"Jayne, you'd best explain yourself," Mal says angrily.

Jayne shrugs. "Figured it was better than the fong luh girl watching the doc and Kaylee get it on."

Mal's eyes widen. "Whatta- what?"

"She's been peeping," the mercenary explains. "Watching her brother screw his girl." He shakes his head. "Figured the skin shows were better'n that. Sure as hell piss off Kaylee less, and it's not as creepifying."

Mal turns on his heel, facing River. "Why? Why would you do such a thing?"

River raises her chin. "I'll never make a match, now. They stole so many things from me, they stole sanity and words and years." Her eyes shine with unshed tears. "Most of all, they stole love, when they made me their tool, their sword, their bullet. I've broken out of their machinery, but I'm still just a cog. I'm all alone." She begins to cry, her hands covering her face.

"I'll get the doc," Jayne grumbles. "She needs a smoother or sumthin'."

"No need," Mal says. "Just…go back and eat your breakfast."

"Can I have your eggs?" Jayne asks hopefully.

"Just get the hell out!" barks Mal.

As the mercenary leaves, Mal pulls the crying girl forward and holds her in his arms. "Shh, little one," he says quietly, patting her back. "It's all gonna be okay."

"I'm a woman of intelligence and breeding," she says softly. "I'm full of grace."

"I know you are," he assures her. "We all see the beauty in you, River."

Tears spill down her face as she meets his eyes. "No man will ever want me. I'm stained, tainted beyond taking by the gods of war."

His hands tighten around her. "No, sweetheart, no. You're a pure, sweet, innocent girl."

"I'm covered in blood," she whispers.

"Shh." Mal brushes her hair away from her face. "Hush, now."

-TBC-

Translations
Fong luh- crazy
Gou pi- bullshit
bì zuî- be quiet/shut up
le se- garbage