I have always been the way I am today; at least I think I have been. Some say Azkaban changes you, but not me. I was crazy when I came here, and so there was nothing that the dementors could do.

I have always known my name to be more important that any other's. Ever since I was a child it was whispered with awe in corners of the rooms that I entered. I reveled in the attention that I knew my name brought me, the prestige and the fear.

I have always been the apple of my parents' eyes. They saw me as their perfect Pureblood daughter, loyal to them and the Dark Lord. I was his most loyal, most faithful, most respected subject. I came to Azkaban proclaiming his message and my loyalty to him to the heavens.

I have always been surrounded by admirers, those seeking protection or those wanting some of my glory for themselves. Occasionally there was someone who wanted to use me, someone superior. I have always had the companionship I needed, always had those that I could spend time with if I so chose. But I couldn't understand the notion of dying for your friends. I would die for my lord or for myself. No other.

I have always detested music. It's garish, boring, repetitive ways seem to drill into my skull. When I was a child I was taught piano and flute. I hated both and told the teacher repeatedly. Who would want to indulge in something so mindless when there were Mudbloods to kill?

I have always seen the world in the brightest shades of colour. Always, I had the newest fashions in the brightest colours of the most expensive fabrics. I wasn't one to live in the shadows, letting the others take the attention. I was the one who drew everyone's eyes when she walked in the room.

I have always felt cold. I suppose it's just who I am. Even sitting in a room with a blazing fire in the middle of summer the icy cold still drilled into me. It could only be alleviated when I was young. Now it is there permenantly, as there is no heating here, no protection from the cold or the wind and the rain that is the only company here.

I have always been all these things. I have been insane, crazy, evil some have said. But now I will give it all up, everything I have always been and everything I ever will be.

I look into his face, feeling the cold that I used to hate surround me, comforting me somehow. It wasn't some faceless, mindless beast. This was him. This was his greatest desire, the only thing he had ever wanted for himself.

We'd been together for years now, almost happy together considering who we were. But now, now that I was expected to leave him forever and return to what I had always been.

I would not go. I will not return to being a shallow doll used as a party piece, the only female death eater. Watched and stared at and whispered about in corners but never spoken to, never loved. I will not be a decoration any more. I will not be who I have always been.

I reach up, pulling the hood from his head and feeling the rattling breath pulling at the edges of my mind. How could he take my happiness when being with him made me happier than anything else?

"I love you. And what you take is yours. You can't steal what is willingly given. Remember that, and this." I say before leaning up and placing my lips against his, letting my love and my happiness flow with my soul into him.

I watched through his eyes as my body collapsed on the dirty floor of the dark cell. A stray thought wafted across his conciousness.

After all, a Dementor's Kiss is a fate worse than death.

XxXxXx

A/N- This is what too much exercise, panicking about tests that don't exist, and jaffa cakes in class will do to a person's mind. I apologize profusely for this.