Hell readers and welcome back to another chapter of I'm Fine. I'm sorry for not writing often, my mum is having some health problems right now so I'm doing my best to help her. In my free time I'll be writing.
I know I have forgotten to do this so here is a special thanks to BusyBunny and KDeasi for commenting!
If you want your name up there please comment. I love reading them, they fill the void where my soul should be.
"Okay, enough talking. We need to fix Mr. Sebastian's problem and work on others." Wells said clearly annoyed by Cisco's immaturity. Cisco went back over to his computer with a huff. Barry sped down to Jitters to grab some coffee, changing into normal clothing on the way. He skidded to a stop a block from Jitters in an ally. The speedster walked into the coffee shop and bought everyone a coffee.
"Hey Iris." Barry greeted as his 'sister' brought over his order.
"Hey Barr." Iris replied, she set down the coffees and gave him a hug.
"I haven't seen you in awhile, I've missed your 'Barr Hugs." She joked. He nodded knowing what was coming next.
"I'm planning a special date for Valentine's Day. Do you know anywhere I good?" Iris asked.
"No, but, I can look into it." Barry replied heavy hearted but, not showing it. He had hid his feelings for Iris for years, he also hid many other feelings too. That made it easy for moments like this.
"Thanks Barry! You're the best friend ever." Iris thanked with another hug. The two friends said their goodbyes and parted ways. Barry walked down a couple blocks before sitting in an ally. He finally let go, a few tears fell. He couldn't let Iris see how much she was hurting him. It would be too much to put on her shoulders. He'll just have to keep going forward, eventually they won't need him anymore, right? Barry pulled himself back up and sped back to S.T.A.R. Labs.
"Hey guys, got some coffee."
"Nice! Thanks Bar- I mean Flash." Cisco said grabbing the cup with his name written on it with black sharpie. Caitlin grabbed her's and Sebastian's coffee. Barry handed Dr. Wells his before taking his own. The team began chatting leaving Barry out completely, even Sebastian was in on the conversation. I guess I'll just leave then. They won't notice, right. I'm not important. Barry thought. He left for Joe's house in hopes of seeing him there so he wouldn't be totally alone. But, of course, when Barry opened the door the house was empty. Barry remembered when the house used to be filled with laughter during their game nights. He remembered how warm the house felt when they'd snuggle close together with hot chocolate and watch movies. But, now the house felt cold and quiet. It made Barry feel empty inside, like there was a void where his soul should be. Barry didn't feel like hanging out in the living room so, he went to bed. That night Barry slept restlessly, he had fitful dreams.
Barry sat alone in his room, it was almost midnight when he heard it. A soft tapping, tap, tap, tap. That was all he heard,the tapping got louder and louder until it was banging. Bang! Bang! Bang! Against Barry's bedroom door, he was afraid, he couldn't move. The only thing Barry could do was pull the covers over his head, so he did. Through the blanket he saw a figure, it was tall and muscular, probably male.
"Joe?" Barry asked, that was his first mistake. The figure growled deeply and a pair of sharp talon-like hands grabbed the blanket and ripped it off of the paralyzed speedster. But, there was no one in the room. Barry shook with fear as he placed his feet on the floor, that was his second mistake. The talon-like hands that had ripped the blanket off him before shot out from under the bed and grabbed his ankles. The thing began to pull him under, Barry fought with all he had but, it had a death grip on him.
"Joe! Iris! Help!" He called out. The door swung open with Iris and Joe rushing in. Barry reached out his arm towards them but, they only looked at him and began laughing. They turned and left Barry, they left him to die. The thing pulled him all the way under the bed. Instead of seeing the underside of his bed, Barry was met with a large gorge. The thing that once held his ankles was gone. He was alone, suddenly, Barry's body wasn't his own, his legs moved against his will. They moved him closer and closer to the edge, one step at a time. Until there was no more ground to walk on. Barry sat up in his bed so quickly he fell off the edge. His lamp was knocked over in the process falling onto the floor with a crash. The light bulb broke cutting his arm, Barry saw the crimson liquid running down his arm, he felt at peace. Barry was so calm he almost didn't notice Iris walk in.
"You okay Bar- Oh my God!" Iris said as she ran over to Barry. She brought Barry downstairs and began washing his arm. As she finished cleaning his arm and was wrapping it Iris asked. "Barry, what happened?" Barry hesitated, he didn't know whether to tell Iris about his dream or lie.
"I fell and knocked over my lamp." He replied. It wasn't a lie, it was just a completely undetailed version of the truth. Iris seemed to buy it.
"Promise me you'll be more careful okay Barry. I don't want you to end up in another coma." Iris joked. Barry nodded with a small smile.
"What are you doing home? I thought you were staying with Eddie." Barry asked trying to change the subject. Iris finished bandaging Barry's arm and was putting the supplies away when she answered.
"Eddie was called in so, I decided to drop by to see if you had any ideas for our date yet." Of course she wasn't here to see me. She has Eddie. Barry thought, more than a little hurt. Barry grabbed his laptop and logged on.
"Yeah, I got some ideas." He opened a few pages and showed Iris the restaurants. The first one was a high star, fancy, restaurant with top chefs. The second was a little less high class but still very fancy. The last was the small cafe on the outskirts of town that Oliver took Barry to.
"So, what do you think?" Barry asked. Iris mulled it over for a minute before answering.
"I like the little cafe. Can you give me the address?"
"Uh, yeah." The forensic searched for a pen. He wrote the address on a slip of paper and handed it to Iris.
"Thanks Barr! I owe you." Iris said giving him a hug. After Iris's car pulled out of the driveway Barry let go. He sat against the wall with his knees pulled tight to his chest and cried. Barry looked over at the broken light bulb and thought of how good it felt when the glass cut his skin, how calm he felt when the blood trickled down his arm. No, Barry was strong, he would not give in to such destructive actions. Just once wouldn't hurt. Nobody would know, and the pain would all go away. A voice in the back of the speedster's head coaxed.
"I can't, if I do then I'll just be addicted like anyone else." Barry spoke aloud. You can't get addicted the first time. You'll be fine.
"How do you know? You're just a voice in my head." I'm not just a voice, I know what's best. And what's best is to just do it Barry. You know you want to so, just do it. You're head will be clear and you'll feel better, I promise. With that Barry gave in. He dejectedly got up and took a piece of the broken bulb. He placed the shard on his skin and watched in awe as a deep red began to drip down his arm. One cut became three, three became seven, seven became fifteen. Barry began to feel dizzy, he heard the front door open. He quickly shook off the dizziness and used his speed to clean up the blood and glass. Barry then changed out of his blood soaked shirt and jeans and put on a hoodie and a fresh pair of pants.
"Hey Joe." Barry greeted when he got downstairs. He tugged at his sleeves to make sure his bandages weren't showing. This action went unnoticed by the exhausted detective.
"Hey Barr." Joe yawned. He went upstairs and went to sleep, Barry decided to do the same, he had a long night. Barry woke up ten minutes before his alarm clock that morning. Joe had the day off but, Barry didn't. The forensic got to work on time, the Captain looked at him surprised.
"Allen, you made it to work on time. Good job." The Captain complimented.
"I guess there's a first time for everything, right Barry." Eddie joked clapping him on the back. Barry forced a laugh and left to go look over the crime scene. It was a man who had been reported missing a week ago. He had finally turned up unfortunately, he turned up with a bullet in his brain.
"What do you have Allen?" Asked the Captain as he worked his way over to the younger.
"He was about 34, married, fake hip, shot by a Titanium Gold Desert Eagle in .440 cordon. He died about 24 hours ago." Barry said.
"No I.D.?" Asked Eddie who also made his way over to the forensic. Barry didn't answer, he only stared at the victim for a minute. Eddie called his name but, Barry didn't respond. Barry gave Eddie a sick look.
"I think I found the victim's I.D." Barry said looking a little sick.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Captain Singh asked not catching on. Barry grabbed a scalpel out of his kit and opened the victim's shirt. He began cutting open the skin on the corpse's abdominal. Captain Singh finally caught on and became a sickly green color, Eddie ran to go throw up. Barry cut through muscle until he found the fake hip. He reached his hand into the corpse and through the hip. At this point all of the police at the scene were watching Barry, a few ran to go throw up. Barry was almost up to his elbow in the corpse when he felt the I.D. Relief flowed through him, and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Barry slowly pulled his arm out of the victim. One of the officers had an evidence bag open and ready for Barry to put the I.D. into. Barry dropped the I.D. into the bag and collected his stuff with his clean hand.
"You can have the rest of the day off, Allen. That took some major guts, no pun intended." The Captain told Barry after he finished packing. Barry thanked him and rounded the corner into an ally. Once out of sight Barry sped home. He hopped in the shower and scrubbed as hard as he could getting all the blood off his arm. He got out and dressed and headed downstairs.
"Hey Barr, I didn't expect you to be home so soon." Joe said. He noticed Barry looked a little sick.
"Singh gave me the rest of the day off." Barry explained.
"I could see why, you look sick to your stomach Barry." Barry only looked down at the comment.
"Are you okay, Barr?" Joe asked sitting Barry down.
"I- I had to stick my arm in a dead guy and pull out an I.D. from his fake hip." Barry explained, he shuttered at the thought. Joe's eyes widened.
"Oh, that's, Barry, uh, wow." The detective stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
"It's okay Joe, I'm going to go to S.T.A.R. Cisco and Caitlin will help me forget about it." The speedster said before disappearing leaving behind a gust of wind.
Okay, this chapter was short but, the explanation is at the top. I think I maybe, just a little, went overboard with the nightmare, but why not. I'm sorry about the gore (not very cause its my life story) I'll get another chapter out for this and my other story What's Left to Lose. Its a Young Justice fic, there are some spelling errors that a reader was kind enough to comment about, those will be fixed shortly. So, hopefully you guys will check those out.
Until next time S.T.A.R. fans and Mercury fans. ;)