Disclaimer: Still don't own NCIS or Harry Potter. My homework still isn't getting done. Let's move it, people, I've got math problems on the line, here.

…

…

Ziva was reviewing an arrest report when the elevator dinged and a tall goth girl in pig tails came running in.

"Ziva!" she said excitedly. "I've gotta show McGee this Cybervid video I found. Where is he?" She looked around the bullpen, as if expecting to see McGee hiding under a table somewhere.

"He and Tony went to investigate a tip," said Ziva.

"I'm gonna get that video up on McGee's computer," said Abby. She sat at McGee's desk and started typing into the computer.

"He shut it off before he left," Ziva warned. She tried to concentrate on the arrest report. She was failing.

"It's ok. I know his password."

"Deep Six?" Ziva guessed.

"Nope," said Abby.

Ziva paused and thought. "Elflord?"

"SpockC3PO," said Gibbs, now present with a cup of coffee.

"Ah, should've known," said Ziva, attempting to eliminate Gibbs and Abby from her thoughts as she focused on the report.

"Where is SpockC3PO?" asked Gibbs. "They left for the tip over an hour ago. Have they called in?"

"No," said Ziva. Just let me finish this damn report!

"Why not?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Ziva screamed.

Gibbs and Abby both looked up. There was silence. After a long, awkward moment, Ziva gave up on ever writing that arrest report. "I'll find out," she said.

…

…

Tony and McGee's hands were tied and they were blindfolded and gagged. Every time McGee tried to speak, the dirty rag moved back further into his mouth. Too many attempts and he'd choke himself. He hoped Tony had the sense to stay quiet.

They were pushed and shoved through the woods, until they were forced into a car; Tony guessed from the sound of the engine and the car it was some kind of all-terrain SUV.

The two agents waited until the vehicle pulled to a stop and they were dragged out and led away. Tony took a chance to smell their surroundings and guessed they were still in the woods somewhere. He heard a heavy metal door open and they were led inside. It was instantly hotter. The smell of beans and deer piss filled Tony's nostrils. He could hear a distinct dripping sound coming from somewhere. Tony and McGee heard the door close and then the blindfolds were torn off with unnecessary force.

They were standing in a large metal box, with a moldy ceiling and a floor that had clearly never even heard of a mop. There were three men with them, all wearing KKK sheets and all armed. Tony took the opportunity to check out their weapons. They looked to be either automatic or semi-automatic, and they looked professional. Whoever these guys were, they weren't kidding around.

After Tony and McGee's gags were removed, Tony said, "It's April. We're looking for Civil War re-enactments. Ya'll are dressed for the Reconstruction."

"We're not performers for the lay-about American who thinks he knows something of history just because he visited a battle field. The real war is all around us," the Klansman sneered. The door opened again and two more men dressed in sheets came in, one with two chairs and the other with a video camera set on a tripod and a laptop computer.

"Sit," the Klansman spat at them. McGee and Tony's hands were still tied behind their back, and sitting was awkward.

The Klansman who had spoken, Tony guessed him to be the "leader" of sorts, leaned over him. He removed his mask and dunce cap. Tony was unsurprised to see he was relatively young and white, but Tony was personally insulted that this guy was so horribly ugly. "You are NCIS Agents, correct?"

"NCIS, what's that?" asked Tony. His smart remark earned him a brutal slap across the face. McGee's face hurt just from hearing it.

"We took your badge. We know you are NCIS."

"Well, hey you asked," said Tony, spitting out blood. "And if you're gonna slap me every time I say something you don't like, we're gonna have a helluva time here because my primary objective as of this moment is to piss you off, and let me tell you one more thing. My boss slaps a LOT harder than you."

The Klansman didn't attempt to hide the contempt on his expression. He slapped Tony again, and Tony honestly wondered how long he and McGee would last.

…

…

Back on base, Gibbs was getting worried. He wouldn't be so worried if his gut didn't tell him to worry, because his gut was usually right and sometimes Gibbs hated it when it was. "Did you try their cell?"

"Straight to voicemail," said Ziva.

"They have it turned off?" asked Gibbs.

"Or they don't have service," said Ziva. "They are in the middle of the woods, after all."

"That's not it," said Gibbs.

Abby and Ziva were both looking at him concerned. "Abby," said Gibbs. "Play that tip."

Abby began typing furiously at McGee's computer until an audio file came up. "On the plasma," said Gibbs. He and McGee stood to look at the screen as Abby played the file.

"NCIS tip hotline." The hotline worker was a female. The caller responded in a male voice, and he spoke rather hurriedly.

"Yeah, uh, I'm driving down Highway 304, and I saw two guys, one of 'em's a sailor, and a kid going into the woods just a little while before I passed Mile Marker 47 and I saw one of the guys had a gun and I thought it might be a hunting party, but later I pass a sign that says No Hunting so I start to call 911 to tell 'em someone's hunting where they shouldn't be until I realize that maybe it wasn't a hunting trip. The kid and one of the guys who was holding his hand looked really scared and the sailor with the gun looked angry."

"And you're sure he was a sailor?'

"Uhh, yeah, uh, my brother's a sailor and he's always wearing, um, a uniform just like that guy had on."

"Thank you for the tip, we'll send agents to investigate."

The call ended there.

"McGee said it was a sincere tip because the man was showing signs typical of reporting a crime; shortness of breath and high stress levels."

"Yep," said Gibbs. "Also a sign of lying. Abby, can you trace where the call was made from?"

"This is McGee work," Abby muttered.

"McGee's not here, Abs," Gibbs barked.

Abby said nothing as she ran the trace. "The caller was using two separate cell towers," she said. "so that matches his story that he was driving, and I see he's going southbound on 304." She showed Gibbs and Ziva the map of the towers, highlighting Highway 304.

"Show me from where the call started to Mile Marker 47," said Gibbs. Abby did so and the map scrolled north. "Get closer and show me the whole length of the road."

Sighing, Abby switched Google maps to street view and showed Gibbs the whole stretch of road he'd indicated. "Anything else?" asked Abby.

"There wasn't a No Hunting sign," said Gibbs.

…

…

The Klansman had just slapped Tony a third time. "You studied economics?" asked Tony.

The Klansman was thrown by that one. "What?" he said.

"Economics. The theory of decreasing marginal returns," said Tony. "The theory states the more you have of something, the less you get from it. Like eating cookies. You're gonna enjoy your first cookie a lot more than you enjoy your twentieth."

"What are you babbling about?" the Klansman demanded.

"Well, you're getting less from it every time you hit me," said Tony. "The first one hurt the most. You're not enjoying hitting me anymore. The first time did it for you."

The man hit him again. "See?" Tony said. "Hardly felt that one."

"You will take me seriously!" the man demanded.

"I don't take anyone seriously," said Tony.

"Well it's time for you to start," said the Klansman. He turned around and retrieved some papers from a Klansman standing behind him.

"Do you recognize this?" he said and he showed him a picture. It was a bloody and horribly mangled corpse.

"No," said Tony. "Are you confessing to his murder? Because we're on the wrong side of the questions if this is an investigation."

"He was a security guard at the Naval Weapons Station in Yorktown, Virginia," the Klansman snarled. "Catholic, of no value, so his death is irrelevant to what I want to know, except for how he came by it," he said.

"You two were there the night he was killed," the man continued, showing McGee the picture too. "And while the memory erasing was efficient, they didn't account for our spies. We took months gathering proof, spying. We found this," he turned to the other Klansman who held up a laptop and Tony and McGee watched as a video played. Tony recognized the three people in it. The first two people were Tony and Ziva.

The third was Harry Potter.

Tony, Harry, and Ziva were knocking on a man's door. The door opened and suddenly Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at the man's face, who immediately became panic stricken and Tony and McGee watched as Harry caught the falling man. It was obvious the man was dead.

"We did some investigating," said the Klansman, "and this sinner's name was Michael Carrion. He was guilty of the same sin you are, and he paid for it.

"He was working with wizards!" the Klansman shouted. "And you are working with wizards. For that, you should be crucified, but first you will tell your wizard friends to come to us, and we shall give them a preview of what they will experience in hell."