Ok! Now I shall continue my story, and if you're reading it then don't stop reading it until I am done with it. Got it? I can only ask. Alright, so when I left off, that weirdo was passed out in front of my house, and Santa was looking for him, and the elves were taking a fruitcake and eggnog break. O, wait, um… well, NOW they're taking a fruitcake and eggnog break. Here goes!

And so I come to the rescue…

6:43 P.M. One week before Christmas, I think.

And so Hermy wakes up in the home of a dashing young man whom at the moment is preoccupied poking at Hermy's funny hat.

"Waaaahhhh!" screams the elf as he is poked clear off the sofa by CTLLC.

"What are you?" plaintively asks the boy.

"I'm a dentist!" harshly responds the elf. ( The crushing of his dreams left him more bitter than he was in the last chapter, although he didn't do much in the last chapter. But now he's bitter.)

" You don't look like a dentist. You look like an elf. But you act like a dentist, what with the yelling and all. Are you an anti-elf?"

" I am now! They ruined my life! " and so Hermy starts sobbing uncontrollably and blubbers out his life story to the boy who really doesn't care.

"…and so you see, I'll never be a dentist! And I can't go back to being an elf, even if I wanted to." Readers, at this point you should know that, in my realm of fantasy, elves are very emotional and tend to have mood swings when they're upset, much like teenage girls.

"But I don't care!" roars Hermy ( case and point ) " I'm better than all of them! And I'll prove it, too!" The sudden lust for vengeance draws CTLLC's attention.

" Oooh, your eyes look like little flames! Keep it up, I'm gonna go get a camera!"

While CTLLC is off in the rest of the house, the elf paces the circular living room, muttering darkly to himself. "I'll show them, I'll show all of them, I'll show them that I don't have to be just another hard-working elf! I'll be better than them, I'll rule them! And when everyone is under my foot, then I'll force all of them to-"

"I'll, I'll, I'll, is that all you ever say? You need a lesson in team spirit! There's no 'I'll' in team. Or say they say." CTLLC has returned with his a camera.

"Who says that?!" snaps Mr. Grumpy elf.

"Didn't you hear me? They do. Now, can you lean a little to the right? Perfect! You can continue your rant now."

"Alright, as I was saying, I will rule all of the north pole! And those work-a-holic, Christmas obsessed freaks will make toys NO MORE!" Shouts Hermy at the top of his voice, amid many camera flashes.

" Yeah! Work that hatred!"

" From now on, they will make things for me, and only me!"

"Ooh, rage! That's a nice shot, hold that pose right there."

"They will craft dental appliances, and construct dentists' offices in the place of Santa's workshops! Mwahahahahahaha!" While laughing maniacally, Hermy realizes that the flashes have stopped. " Hey, are you done shooting me?" The maniacal elf is frightened by the grim look in his host's eyes.

" Yes, yes I am. I don't want my camera soiled by some wanna-be Grinch. You can't stop the elves from making toys! Christmas is my favorite time of year!" The elf is left speechless, and experiencing two conflicting emotions: 1) The desire to keep the boy happy ( It's what elves do) and 2) His lust for revenge. Thinking on his feet, he smiles a thin and malevolent smile.

" Oh, of course, we need to think about the well being of Christmas! Well, don't you worry, I won't do anything to prevent Christmas…"

Meanwhile, Papa Noel was out with his favorite reindeer, Rudolph, searching for the missing elf. He keeps Rudolph around because his bulbous red nose is the only one bigger than Santa's himself. The reindeer was friends with the weirdo because they were both outcasts, freaks, and drama queens.

"But Santa! What if we don't find him by Christmas?"

"Why do we have to find him by Christmas?" asked Saint Nick gruffly.

" Because it builds suspense if we have a dramatic deadline to meet!"

"Oh, I see. Then the next chapter will be that more exciting!"

To be continued…

That went ok. I'd like to thank my lone reader, and anyone else who happened upon my humble work. Next one coming soon! Closer to Christmas, and farther apart then the first two were. More suspenseful!