There was a knock at the door and Charlie popped his head around. "Ok?"
Sam took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. "Yeah. Is Grace alright?"
"She's fine. Duffy's taken her for some dinner. - and the school's all sorted. I spoke to them and they were very understanding."
"Thanks."
Charlie hesitated. "Sam, I hope you don't mind, but Ethan was the first person Connie told – I thought it might help to speak to him."
Sam nodded as Charlie opened the door wider to let Dr Hardy past. He went out and began to close the door behind him, but Sam stopped him.
"Charlie – wait!" He exclaimed. "I er...I promised Connie that Grace wouldn't find out how scared she's been..."
Charlie looked sympathetically at him. "Sam, Grace is a smart young girl - I think she's probably noticed." He said gently.
"Yes, she probably has." Sam agreed. "But Connie's very aware that Grace has always seen her as a very brave, strong person and I think she's anxious that Grace still thinks that about her – if the worst happens."
Charlie nodded. "That's understandable. She won't hear it from me, Sam."
"Nor me." Ethan agreed.
"Thanks." Sam responded gratefully as Ethan sat down and Charlie left, closing the door behind him.
"No offence, mate – " Sam muttered to Ethan. "but why would Connie confide in you? - I mean, I know she's been mentoring you, Grace told me that – but still, why you?!"
"No offence taken." Ethan answered. "She didn't exactly confide in me – she asked for my opinion on some scans to start with – a patient's, she said, as part of my training and my interest was captured. It was...an...interesting and unusual case. She's the boss, you know - and I suppose the fact that she's been taking the time to train me, means she thinks I can go somewhere, so I sort of kept asking about the case – and in return she kept asking for my opinion, but I began to notice that she became very defensive if I suggested something she didn't want to hear." He paused, wondering just how much he should say – after all, he had operated illegally on Connie's arm and they could both get in trouble if that fact was revealed.
He eventually continued, skipping the part where he'd seen her drop the scalpel. "And then there was a patient that came into the ED. She had a life-ending condition – end stage. Any treatment we gave her would just pro-long her suffering. Connie tried to explain that to her husband and the patient even begged Connie to 'let her go' – said she wanted to sign a DNAR, but the husband wouldn't accept it. Connie was visibly upset when her patient agreed to have treatment for her husband's sake – she even yelled at the man at one point – though, I think she went and apologised to him after, but I could see that she was taking the case way too personally. I put two and two together and confronted her. She was angry at first – but she didn't deny it." He decided there was no need to mention the clot. "I tried to get her to have treatment then, Sam, but she was in complete denial. She said, she knew the stats better than anyone and the risks of surgery far out-weighed the benefits . She said she was going to deal with it in her own way and it was none of my business. I told her she wasn't coping as well as she thought and said she didn't have to do it alone. If she didn't want to talk to me than, she could talk to Charlie – I don't think she did at that point though, so I kept trying to talk her round."
"Well, er...thank you for noticing that she was struggling – and for being here to support her. I wasn't – and I should have been." He muttered. "I should never have left – maybe if I hadn't, she wouldn't have felt that she had to do it alone...""
"You're here now, Sam" Ethan told him quietly. "That's what matters. Is there anything else you want to know?"
"Well – obviously, Charlie knows now – so how did he find out? I mean did she tell him eventually?"
"I think he'd already noticed her being 'not quite right' in resus a couple of times – she looked a bit dizzy or asked for a glass of water and I think he did ask her, at the time, if she was ok and she said she was fine – but he never seemed totally convinced and then, eventually, she changed her mind about the surgery – I think it was after speaking to Grace one day – she suddenly seemed frightened about what might happen if she didn't have any treatment - and she called Charlie into her office and told him." Ethan explained. "She told Charlie she was going to tell you, maybe she was intending to at the time – but when he later asked if you were going to bring Grace over, she just muttered something about you not being able to 'just drop everything' Neither of us realised that you didn't know."
Sam let out a sigh. "It's probably my fault – Connie and I haven't really spoken to each other since I left. It's been Grace whose had contact with her. I meant to speak to her at some point to discuss her arrangements when she comes over Christmas – but I thought it'd be awkward speaking to her after the way I left, so I kept putting it off. Maybe she felt the same way about speaking to me."
"Or maybe she just didn't want to tell you something like that over the phone, Sam" Ethan suggested. "It's not an easy conversation to have at the best of times – is it?"
There was a knock at the door and Duffy appeared with Grace. "She's had her dinner, Sam – I brought you a sandwich and a cup of coffee. I bet you haven't eaten either!"
"Thank you, Duffy." Sam answered as Grace dropped down next to him.
"Hello, Ethan." She commented politely. "Thank you for dinner, Duffy." She called as the nurse turned to leave.
"You're welcome, sweetie. I'll pop by and see you later."
"Hello, Grace." Ethan stood up. "I should go – break'll be over soon."
It was a long and agonizing wait for Grace and Sam. Eventually, Jac arrived in the relative's room to tell them that the surgery had gone well and she was confident that she had successfully removed the tumour. Connie was still in recovery – they were closely monitoring her, due to the nature of the surgery, but she would be taken back to her room in a little while – at which point, Jac promised to come and get them.
Once back in Connie's room, they faced a further wait, as Connie was drowsy and not fully compos-mentis.
"Urgh" She eventually muttered, suggesting that she was now 'with it' enough to know where she was again.
"Con?" Sam said softly.
"Huh? Oh – hi." She muttered, gingerly sitting up. "I'm still here then!"
"Yeah – looks that way! Jac said the surgery went well." He answered, standing up and walking around her bed to wake Grace, who was curled up, asleep, in an armchair.
"You could have taken her home, Sam – you didn't have to stay."
Sam looked up. "She refused to leave the hospital! She's as stubborn as a mule – like you!"
"You refused to leave first, Dad!" Grace grumbled sleepily. She opened her eyes and saw Connie looking at her. "Mummy! You're awake!...Can I...can I hug you?" she asked nervously.
"Mmm, gently." Connie told her.
"So, um...we might need to go shopping – at some point." Grace mumbled against her Mum's shoulder.
"There is food in the house, sweetheart." Connie pointed out.
"Mm-hm. Not what I meant though." Grace answered. She looked at Sam. "Unless you were planning on walking around in your underwear, Daddy?" She added brightly.
Sam looked horrified. "What?"
"I thought your case seemed a bit light, so looked in it earlier – when you went to the bathroom." She explained, giggling. "You didn't bring any actual clothes!"
Connie chuckled "Come on then, Miss Marple! What did he bring?"
Grace smirked. "Pants – lots of pants!" She giggled again at the appalled look on her Dad's face. "Specifically – 12 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks and a toothbrush!"
Connie snorted in amusement. "Sam – didn't your Mum teach you how to pack?"
"I was in a hurry." Sam muttered, huffily. He had known that he'd need a toothbrush, but he'd been so shaken up by his dream, that after that, he had just 'opened a drawer and grabbed an armful out of it'. Obviously, it had been the top drawer.
Connie sniggered. "Well, if all else fails – at least you'll have clean underwear!"
"I was half asleep." He protested.
She snorted again. "Clearly!" She paused, thoughtfully. "So, if Charlie didn't ring you - and you didn't know when you arrived, why did you spontaneously decide to come over? - and did it have anything to do with that 'odd' message you left on my phone?"
Sam opened his mouth to answer as diplomatically as he could – but Grace got there first, giggling. "Daddy wanted you because he had a bad dream!"
Connie sniggered. "Poor Daddy!"
Grace wasn't finished yet. "I was woken up in the middle of the night, because Daddy was prancing about his room looking for clothes to pack – clothes which he obviously didn't find!" She added, smirking.
Connie chuckled, patting Sam's hand lightly – as much as she was enjoying taking the mickey, he did look embarrassed and she couldn't help feeling a little sorry for him. "You going to tell me what happened in this bad dream, then?"
"I'd rather not talk about it, Con – you're ok now. Let's just say that something bad happened, ok?"
Connie nodded, smirking slightly. "Mm-hm...I think that's probably why they're called 'nightmares', Sam!"