Homefree - An Alternate Homestuck Story

by Sempiternal Decalescence

Four will gather, the Knight of Space and the Sage of Life, the Heir of Time and the Bard of Gust, and together, they will ascend! This is basically and all OC alternate Homestuck, so if you don't like the OCs, then don't read. Minor romantic pairings, but it is more towards the middle. Rated T for cursing and violence.

2. Act 1 Section 1 Part 2

Homefree

Act 1

Section 1

Part 2

Jason: Pester HP.

You select HP's name in the Pesterchum window and then hit the Pester button.

mentallyChallenged [MC] began pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:06

MC: Hello, hello my dear friend. How might you be on this fine, bright, godawfully awesome day?

HP: I'm quite all right, and thanks for asking.

MC: I have come to discuss the topic of your ceaseless irritation of ID.

HP: Has he been begging for me to stop? Because if he has, then the answer is no. At least, not until he plays SBURB with me.

MC: He doesn't even have the game yet!

HP: What about you?

MC: It currently resides within the dark depths of the mailbox in the front yard. I can retrieve it if you like, although there may be another run-in with Bro in it for me.

HP: Excellent. I will patiently await your return, and I expect the game to be in your possession by then.

MC: Right then. Off I go, to the mailbox, which may be my eventual doom.

mentallyChallenged [MC] ceased pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:08

Jason: Offwards! The mail awaits!

You begin the trek back downstairs and are about to reach the door when you are stopped by your Bro, as you predicted. He retrieves his katana, and you grab your longsword. The battle of badassery begins once more.

Jason: STRIFE!

The two opposing swords come together in relentless combinations of techniques that only you and your Bro have ever mastered. You are almost always on the defensive, as he is way better than you at this. Block after block, you feel yourself beginning to tire. He just isn't going to stop this time, is he? Well then, you're going to have to end it for him. Whilst performing one of the badass acrobatic skills your Bro taught you, you land behind him and assault him from the rear, landing countless blows to his sword, which he is using to block very efficiently without looking. You manage to perform a rarely attempted, highly effective, and very dangerous x20 blade-master combo, which sends his katana spinning through the air. The blade impales itself into the wall, giving you ample time to escape Bro once more. You run out the front door and shut it behind you.

Jason: Look around.

You turn your head in several directions and then focus on the mailbox.

Jason: Stop being a smartass and observe the great outdoors.

You see multiple more houses down the street on which you live. There really isn't much to observe, other than the tree with the tire swing and the mailbox with the red-swingy-deally-thing flipped up. Your yard is just so goddamn boring, you wish you could just, you know, sprinkle it with a few rainbows here and there and make the sun shine brighter. There is, unfortunately, nothing that can be done for this lawn. It has already died, along with the rest of this town. You utterly despise it here, and wish you could just live out in the middle of nowhere without anyone else around.

Jason: Approach the mailbox in a cautious manner.

You cautiously approach the mailbox in the most cautious manner you know how to approach it in. In other words, you bolt straight for the box of mail and skid to a stop before its great, tiny, hinged swinging door.

Jason: Retrieve SBURB from the mailbox.

You reach out for the envelopes that contain the game, slowly but surely moving your hand towards it, WHEN SUDDENLY THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE THERE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLACE.

And just who the fuck is this?

You really have no idea.

Hello there.

A young woman stands in her bedroom. Today, the 13th of April, is the day that this woman has been looking forwards to, because of the release of a certain game she has been awaiting since it was announced back in early January. Now, she does not have a name because her father is just that sort of careless bastard and doesn't have time for any of that nonsense. Out of sympathy for her lack of a name, you decide to give her one. What will her name be?

Enter name.

CANDYLIPS GASPUMP

And just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Try again.

ALAYNA HARLEM

What a brilliant name!

Alayna: Examine room.

This is complete bullshit. You don't have a room. Hell, you have a whole house to yourself. This is just the room with the bed in it. All of the interesting stuff is out in the foyer.

Alayna: Go to foyer.

You exit your room in the grand foyer. This is where you spend most of your time.

Alayna: Examine foyer.

The walls are covered with exquisite paintings depicting scenes from several games that you have played over the years. You hardly do anything but play games. It is life to you. You have played great games, such as Problem Sleuth, Bard Quest, Jailbreak, and even rare titles like The Legend of Lemmings and Gaylow. They never get old. But then there are games like Call of Doody: Modern Shitfare and Gas Effect that have just become obsolete in their own right. Enough about games. Let's get to the action!

Alayna: Go to computer desk.

You have a sit down in your huge computer chair and turn to face your gaming computer. It is an iHack that your friend Jason's brother made. You boot it up and open the Pesterchum application. You see that ID is online. Time for payback for not playing any Gaylow with you a few weeks back.

Alayna: Pester ID.

heavenlyPsychopath [HP] began pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 13:00

HP: Hello there ID.

ID: oh god no what do you want from me HP

HP: I have been well informed of today's events and I am aware that the highly touted SBURB 1.0 has been released to public today. Am I right?

ID: um, yeah, why?

HP: You are going to play it with me.

ID: but i dont have it yet!

HP: Then go get it.

ID: the truck hasnt even come yet

HP: Better tell it to hurry up, or that piece of shit you call a PC is going to crash and burn.

ID: oh shit dont you dare threaten my pc

HP: I just did.

ID: goddammit

HP: Get it done, ID. Get. It. Done.

ID: yes sir!

heavenlyPsychopath [HP] ceased pestering incompetentDude [ID] at 13:05

Alayna: Realization.

Wait just one goddamn second. Did that little fucker just call you a sir? Oh, hell no he did not. That little fucker is going to pay dearly this time. Oh hell yes he is.

Alayna: Play some games!

You play a bit of Shizilization V on your computer until Pesterchum flashes. It looks like someone is messaging you.

Alayna: Respond immediately.

mentallyChallenged [MC] began pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:06

MC: Hello, hello my dear friend. How might you be on this fine, bright, godawfully awesome day?

HP: I'm quite all right, and thanks for asking.

MC: I have come to discuss the topic of your ceaseless irritation of ID.

HP: Has he been begging for me to stop? Because if he has, then the answer is no. At least, not until he plays SBURB with me.

MC: He doesn't even have the game yet!

HP: What about you?

MC: It currently resides within the dark depths of the mailbox in the front yard. I can retrieve it if you like, although there may be another run-in with Bro in it for me.

HP: Excellent. I will patiently await your return, and I expect the game to be in your possession by then.

MC: Right then. Off I go, to the mailbox, which may be my eventual doom.

mentallyChallenged [MC] ceased pestering heavenlyPsychopath [HP] at 14:08

Alayna: Patiently await return.

You patiently await Jason's return.

Reader: Become Jason again.

A/N: All right then! Second chapter is done! I feel accomplished. I am actually getting something done in this little hellhole of life I am stuck in. I would also like to thank ninjaarchitect1998 for beta-reading all of this! Well, have fun until I get the next chapter out and remember kids; don't shizzle where you pizzle.

~Jason Smith, Writer and Editor of Homefree