Author's Note:
I attribute the game of Crunchball to the Fan fiction Writer Humhallelujah. The story will most likely NOT be Trouble / Holly, but they will be friends. Personally, I am not a shipper and will succumb to fan pressure. Ergo, you choose how I ship.
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or any associated characters.
Holly Short's Diary
Today, I applied for Traffic. But let me start from the beginning.
I woke up around five-thirty Mud Person time for my morning fitness program. Over the last few centuries, the people have programmed themselves to work on daylight, or Artificial Daylight, instead of their natural nocturnal life. We hope to be on the surface someday, and the People could cooperate better with the Mud Men if we worked on the same time frame as they do. Too bad they aren't considerate enough to switch to nocturnal time.
After waking, I took a shower. Fairies, living isolated from pollutants, shower in the purest water. We allow the water to evaporate and saturate the shower's air before condensing at the knob on the shower's roof. From there, a built-in magnetic field winds the water into a gentle stream rolling down.
Fifteen minutes later, I found myself driving my citizen transport towards police plaza. My transport was basically a motorcycle with a dome surrounding me, packed with gel pads for comfort and support. Each of these aerobykes, as they are called, can either drive or fly. With a touch of a button, wings extend from within the wheels and what appears to be an exhaust pipe becomes a miniature jet turbine (of course it isn't an exhaust pipe, the People use clean energy).
The gates of Police Plaza are magnificent. For those who haven't seen them, they are the symbol of the People's prosperity. Two golden poles stand five meters apart, and emerald-encrusted silver gates hang between them. The road becomes shimmering obsidian on the Plaza side of the gate, and elegant sidewalks ramp upwards to be on the same level with the aerobykes and other vehicles passing through.
I took a left at the split in the obsidian road. On the left, a road branched toward Traffic. The middle lane smoothly continued towards Recon. And on the right, there was a sign claiming Retrieval was only fifty feet away.
As I rode down towards the left sides parking lot, I spotted a familiar fairy exiting his royal blue aerobykes.
"Holly! I didn't know you would be applying for Traffic today! And I like your red aerobyke. It reminds me of the human Ferraris," shouted a handsome elf.
"Hi Trouble. I figured I ought to get a head start on most people by skipping career year… I know I want to be in Recon and I don't need a year of career counseling to tell me that," I said, pleased that he was here too. I didn't know Trouble well, but I knew he was around my mental equal and we had both been on the top crunchball team. "I'm a bit nervous, though."
"Well," came Trouble's reply, "why don't we go in together? I could use the company; my nerves have been awful. I almost didn't come today."
I parked my aerobyke and we walked into the Traffic building. At the door, a burly gnome divided us and sent both of us to be interviewed by the current head of Traffic, Ethan Bridges.
Trouble was interviewed for around twenty minutes before he was sent out, beaming, and told me it was my turn.
The room was dimly lit.
Trouble Kelp's Journal
Today, I awoke crack-of-artificial-dawn to complete my three-mile run before preparing for my Traffic Application. For the past three months, I've put myself through training equivalent to that of LEPrecon. I've been told the qualifying fitness for Recon is absurd, so I've been pumping iron and running for hours on end.
On the track, I ran into Junior Commander Julius Root. I've known him since he spoke at Haven High School, and he was the one who told me the fitness requirements for Recon.
"Commander Root! How's your run going?" I asked.
"Very well. Shouldn't you be focusing on your own run?" he said.
"Yes sir. I was going to allow myself an easy week though, having just graduated high school."
"An easy week, huh? How about this for easy: Traffic is recruiting for the Academy now. If you ride in that aerobyke of yours, you may make it," Root stated.
"T-t-thank y-you, sir." I stuttered, already running at breakneck speed for my aerobyke.
When Commander Root spoke at my school, he told us to always be prepared. And so, I had taken this to heart. I kept a change of clothes, spare communicator, civilian helmet and nuclear batteries in the trunk of my aerobyke. I quickly changed and headed towards Police Plaza.
Just as I stepped out of my byke, I saw Holly Short entering the parking lot.
"Holly! I didn't know you would be applying for Traffic today! And I like your red aerobyke. It reminds me of the human Ferraris," I shouted.
"Hi Trouble. I figured I ought to get a head start on most people by skipping career year… I know I want to be in Recon and I don't need a year of career counseling to tell me that," Holly said, and I was glad I wasn't the only one trying to get a jumpstart on my career. "I'm a bit nervous, though." Once again, she was echoing my feeling.
"Well," I replied, "why don't we go in together? I could use the company; my nerves have been awful. I almost didn't come today."
We walked in together, and I was sent to interview with head of Traffic Ethan Bridges first. A tall elf, which gave me some comfort, Bridges led me into the criminal interviewing room. The irony that both new officers and criminals were interviewed in the same room escaped me at the time; I was too focused on not breaking out in a nervous sweat.
"Alexander 'Trouble' Kelp, I assume you know you only get one shot at success. After this interview, I either send you for training at the Academy or you get a job sweeping floors at McVegetables," Commander Bridges stated, and like Commander Root, Bridges was very rarely accused of being politically correct. "I am going to ask you one question, and you are going to honestly answer. I know it will be honest because the LEP's technical consultant, Foaly, will be monitoring your heart rate and brainwaves. Foaly, come in and wire Kelp up."
The centaur, towering over all elves at around six feet tall, entered through the wall. I assume the wall was holographic, but I cannot be sure. He proceeded to place wires on my wrist, neck, and temples.
"All set, Ethan," said the centaur.
"Commander Bridges, you mean, you insolent pony."
"Yes, of course sir," replied the 'pony.'
"So, Kelp, when and why did you gain ambitions to be in the LEP? I assume you want to be in Recon or Retrieval; both work together."
Before I answered, I took a second to remember the layout of the Lower Elements Police. Traffic was stand-alone, and therefore had its own commander. Recon and Retrieval were both under Commander Julius Root, and worked together. The Recon officer was like a scout, and the heavy infantry was provided by Retrieval. I wanted to work in Retrieval.
"I was merely thirty-two at the time, sir," I say, now age sixty. "My mother was retrieving some gold from the bank. A group of goblins entered and held up the bank. They pulled Neutrinos on the teller and told her to give them the bank's gold. My idiot brother tried to call the police, and I sprang into action to stop the goblins from attacking him. I incapacitated one with a chop to the solar plexus, and flicked his Neutrino to rare and fried the other goblins. From then on, I've wanted to protect the innocent," I recalled.
"Just as your file says. Alright, report to the academy tomorrow morning at daybreak. And send Ms. Short in on your way out."