My tablemates at lunch looked worried. Rachel, Grover, Jason, Nico, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Thalia and Piper all stared nervously at me. My cousin, Grover, rested his hand on my shoulder while I banged my head against the wood. Why, why, why? I thought. Jason's sister, Thalia raised an eyebrow.
"What happened, dude?" Frank asked. "Does it have to do with that drawing that Chase has over at her table? The one she won't let anyone look at?"
Frank always guessed my problems right. I kept hitting my head for a few more repetitions, and then looked up. Frank seemed genuinely worried. I nodded. Then shook my head. Then I slammed my face extra hard onto the table surface.
"Rachel," I started, sitting up for good. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep away from. . . ." I bit my lip.
"I told you, Percy, I don't care. Officially over," she said. She really was my friend, but we had agreed "dating" was for the best. I smiled thankfully at her, but frowned again quickly.
"I . . . I think you guys are right. Especially you two," I said, gesturing to Leo and Jason. A look of fanboy-ism comes over their evil faces, and the squeal.
Leo's so happy he shouts, "I was right! He does like Annab— JEEZ, MAN!" Frank kicks him under the table. Leo moans and complains that it hurt.
"Well, shut up, dipshit," I scold. "Do you want me to tell Caly that you like her?"
He gasps. "You promised you wouldn't tell!"
"I did, but you also should know not to yell other people's crushes out, dingbat," I say through gritted teeth.
Piper and Jason high-five each other, and look like they might kiss. "Every one else has made a confession," Leo hissed to him. Piper looked slightly shocked, almost pleasantly surprised.
They weren't officially a thing, mainly because Jason was too scared to ever ask. Piper occassionally held Jason's hand, and he occassionally kissed her forehead, but they didn't know anything. Not anymore, at least. Jason was terrible at keeping secrets from me, so he would have told me about anything new.
"Well, I might as well tell you this, now, Pipes. I, uh—" he started, nervous. She cut Jason off with a quick kiss on the lips. I'm pretty sure that everyone was thinking the same thing: Finally!
"Me, too," she said quickly. He was standing stiffly, his face bright red. A small smile cracked on his lips. He moved so quickly, hugging her, you couldn't even see it. She smiled. Why does it have to look so easy for them? I thought.
"I think we should help him," Nico says, speaking up. "It's not everyday a guy falls in love in high school." His words echoed dangerously in my head. No . . . I thought. She'd kill me if she found out, even if I did love her.
I jumped a mile high.
"What?" I asked, a little too loudly, my nervous voice giving away my deepest fear and secret. My eyes had opened up all the way in panic, and my arms pounded the table. My stomach dropped, making me feel. . . . Oh, gods. "Impossible!" I buried my face into my hands. I couldn't make another girl like me. I couldn't bare breaking their hearts, or having mine broken. I couldn't . . . no. . . . Anyone but her.
I got glares. Their eyes told me, No, it's not. You're down that hole, and you can't get up. I felt like falling over into a fetal position and dying. I wasn't attracted to that Athena-grade girl! Oh, come on, you know what I mean! Not like—not like that! My whole body was taken over by a flame of embarrassment.
It was just that bad.
"Niiiicooooo," I groan. "Please kill me. . . ."
"Dude, if I killed you, I wouldn't have anyone to threaten," he told me. I could hear the amusement in his voice. I groaned again, letting out a few frustrated sighs. I gave him a serious/pained look.
"Just end my misery," I asked. "And I don't love her. It's just a crush. It'll fade."
"Sure you don't—OW, f—STOP!" Leo yelled, Frank kicking him under the table again. Twice. Hazel tried to keep a straight and disappointed face while telling them both to stop. Jason made her smile by mimicking them behind their backs.
I couldn't concentrate. The only thing keeping down to Earth (and sanity) was Nico's pants cold hand on my shoulder. In didn't remember him putting it there. (Sorry, noPernico, just in case it sounds like it.) My thoughts were wild and full of impossible and illogical scenarios.
I could barely concentrate the rest of the day because of it. Nico's comment kept bugging me. It's not every day a guy falls in love in high school, he said. I wasn't in love with Chase! No damn way! She was too smart, too pretty, too funny. Too cute, too captivating, hypnotizing in every thought I ever had. This was an obsession. Not love. It had to be. Love was supposed to come later. Not when I was in sophomore year!
And why did I keep thinking about love if I obviously wasn't in it? I was sure Nico got sorted into the wrong hall. He was too "match-makey" to be a Hades kid. I swear. . . . But that wasn't what bothered me. How the hell did he know?
I went to my dorm, alone and forgotten. I was apparently "unique," only because I was the strongest and smartest in my feild. It didn't make me feel any more proud of myself. If only I was a normal Athena kid, I wished. I wouldn't be pressured to create bonds with anyone. I could study.
"Goodnight, sucker," I said to myself. A sad smile sneaked onto my lips. Sucker.