G.O.R.E. looked uneasily at all the strange creatures around him. "Sir, how necessary is this?"

"Dire. Kind of like the peril our future is in. But less direey. Uh."

G.O.R.E. crinkled his nose. "Ew. Okay but, how do you expect to find that ship here?"

"Please G.O.R.E.! This is Texas! You can find anything you need at the cattle auction!"

One of the cows leaned over and "Moo"ed.

Bush shook his head. "Yeah you and me both. But anyway, let's get inside where all the dealerations are being swaped."

The two walked into a very loud room. Lots of "Yee Haws!" and gunshots could be heard.

G.O.R.E. cringed back in fear. "My God."

"Hey I said it was Texas, I didn't say it was gonna be purdy."

As they turned around a small fellow, about Bush's height stumbled toward them in a drunken haze. His long red mustache swung back and forth as his mouth moved to mumble something about a filthy varmint.

Bush looked slightly down at the man. "Yosemite Sam! What are you doing here?"

"Random cameo." And with that, he was gone.

The two zeros made their way to the front of the crowd. They were just in time for the first sale of the day.

"Okay here we've got a very special little calf. He talks, he's golden, and he comes with his own theme song. Great to pass the time while you're grindin' his ass to its bone! Let me hear opening bids for our friend Mooby here."

"Snootch to the nootch!"

...Puff of smoke

Looks like we've got an exciting bidding war going on here! Any other bids?"

"Hi my name's Amy and I'm a lesbian. Sort of."

"Hmmm. Nice capper from the porn princess! Anyone else."

Phhhhhfffffffftttttt!

"Going once! Going twice! Sold to the shit demon for...well...a SHITload of money!"

"BONG!"

Mooby tried to defend himself as he was dragged offstage. "But wait no, you don't understand! Iiii make hamburgers! For kids!"

"That's the plan yeah."

Mooby was dragged screaming offstage.

"Damn!" was mumbled by the President.

Bush turned just in time to catch a glimpse of a yellow jumpsuit before it was concealed inside a trench coat. The figure's long blushing shoes squeaked as it walked away.

Bush turned to G.O.R.E. "You know, I almost feel as if we've just been hit with some foreshadowin'."

"Wow that's a big word Mr. President. I'm proud of you." G.O.R.E. looked over the crowd. "Well holy beans. You were actually right!"

A gigantic metal thing was rolled into the front of the auction area.

"And here we have a very unique item. This big metal cow is called the Nadesco. It's a genetically engineered cow from Area 51."

Many gasps were heard, but Zeeke was the first to speak up.

"But that's where the government hides all them weird aliens n' stuff! I once got dragged out there and was forced with one o' them anal probes."

The whole crowd gasped and stared at Zeeke in disbelief.

"Well okay, that was Jeb and it was in the back of his truck but still."

"I got three dollars. Oh wait, and a mint!" Bush said after thoroughly inventorying each pocket.

"Well that's a clincher of a deal for me! Sold!"

Bush took the money and his mint up to the front. "There, it's an Altoid."

The auctioneer's eyes lit up. "Ooooo that's one o' them fancy ones!"

After papers were signed Bush began wheeling his new purchase home as the sun began to set. He began to laugh.

"Three dollars! Ha! I had three and a HALF! And that mint was a tic tac! Heh heh! Texan's are so stupid."

"Well Sir, I suppose information like that takes an expert."

To Be Continued...