Mario and Luigi enter the Wiivolution
Part 2: Bootleg mushrooms
Finished: 8/25/17, 8/27
Author note: It continues. If it's not obvious, the console manufacturers are like in the real world. Mario and friends are associated with Nintendo but they don't have to exclusively play and buy those games.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Luigi always got up after Mario and this was no exception. He blinked a few times as he realized that Mario's bed was predictably empty, and the smell of Italian food was in the air of their cozy home.
"It's your favorite," Mario said as Luigi stepped into the kitchen. He was at the table reading the paper with a plate of appetizing spaghetti in front of him. The microwave clock showed 1 PM.
Luigi stretched and yawned. "Thanks bro. Have you opened the present?"
Mario chuckled. "You mean bag? It's still on the couch. I wanted to unbox it with you."
"Oh yeah." Luigi sat across from Mario, where his plate waited for him. "The last time we waited in line like that was for that TV sale on Christmas, the one that ended up being a cheap off brand."
Mario chuckled. "But it works just fine doesn't it? Anyway, let's hurry up!"
After their brunch they moved to the den and Mario pulled the Wii from the bag. Both brothers took a moment to observe the white minimalistic box. Luigi had to admit he was slightly more impressed than he had been before. It was pretty sleek after all.
"Okay so would you please clear out a spot?" Mario asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Our TV only has one av input, remember? It is a 'cheap brand'," Mario added slyly. "Unhook the GameCube."
Luigi stared blankly. "Unhook the GameCube?"
"Yes. That console setting under the TV that's shaped like a cube; unhook it."
The Nintendo GameCube. The silver colored console had been a staple of their den since 2001 and brothers spent countless hours on it with each other and with friends. Their game collection included every genre in addition to their own brand. They were also loaded in accessories, from the Gameboy Player, to Wavebirds, memory cards, bongos, action replay, and the rarely used LAN adapter.
Luigi lifted up the dusty console and placed it aside, along with is various cables and purged the glass case under the TV of everything but the games, controllers, and memory cards. He vaguely remembered the Wii's backwards compatibility, if only due to Mario repeating the sales pitch so much.
"Stop staring at it and put it in the bag." Mario was still observing the box.
"Fine..." Luigi placed the GameCube in the bag the Wii was previously in.
"Now get over here. Time for revolution!"
Luigi rolled his eyes. "Open the thing already."
Mario opened the box and slid out one of two blue cardboard trays. That tray contained cables and the stand, other other tray the system, controller, and Wii Sports disc. Mario was immediately struck at how light the tiny white console was, and Luigi mesmerized by the Wii remote. After fiddling around connecting it to the tv, (because both brothers refused to look at the instructions), and troubleshooting problems like the remote cursor not appearing in screen (due to not reading instructions again), and arguing on which way the Wii would be oriented, (they settled on upright) it was about two o'clock pm and Mario household was finally ready to experience the Wii.
Luigi fed the disc into the Wii's slot while they were in the main menu. By then they'd already made a few Miis of themselves and friends, and even some enemies, and added an SD card into the slot. They'd play around with the other channels later.
Mario stood straight in front of the tv, holding the Wii remote and nunchuck tightly. "I'm ready!"
Luigi slump down on the couch. "Too bad we forgot to buy another controller.."
"We can take turns." Mario selected the tennis game first. "Okay now I'm about to really experience tennis like never before!"
"Stop sounding like a commercial. Look, you're already losing."
Mario turned his attention back to the screen. "Well, if only I could figure out how to move my character. 0-40 already?!"
Luigi smiled mischievously at seeing his elder brother fail. He'd have to admit that Mario was typically the better gamer, especially in action games since Luigi was more of a RPG and strategy guy. "I don't think you can, big bro." He watched the portly plumber in front of him flail his arms, missing shot after shot.
"I lost?!" Mario said, sounding more surprised than upset. "But I'm great at 'Mario Power Tennis'. How can I suck so much at this?"
Luigi took the remote from him. "Let me have a go."
"Yeah whatever.." Mario sat on the floor.
Luigi struggled at first, but caught on eventually and won his very first game. "Wow, that was actually..fun!"
Mario flushed behind Luigi's back. "Oh good for you... Let's try baseball?"
Luigi chose baseball. He won but got annoyed at how he couldn't directly control his characters. Mario comically flailed around again during his turn but he actually made contact this time and also won. Mario stared at the results screen contemplating. "Let's give boxing a try. I think it uses the nunchuck."
The boxing game riled their spirits up a bit. Mario went wild in the air like the ball of energy he was, and pummeled his opponent that happened to be the Mii they made for Bowser.
Mario handed the controller to Luigi. "Ready to break a sweat?"
"Not really." Luigi found it reasonably fun if not tiring after a while. This was definitely a game more suited for Mario. He chose golf afterwards, but the brothers quit after they lost the patience for eighteen holes. Last was bowling. While fun, the brothers again lost the patience to complete the game.
Mario held his chin in his hand like a critic as he sat on the couch. The brothers often did their best 'Siskel and Ebert' impression when buying a new game for fun. "So, the graphics. The models are simple, but I like the Miis and punching Bowser was fun. Plus you get variety of sports and it is a freebie."
"But the games lacked depth," Luigi challenged.
"But it's free."
"So is a fuzzy infestation! Okay bad analogy, but they're still shallow."
"Whatever. Thumbs up."
Luigi opened the Mii channel again. "That's your opinion, bro. The motion controls are the biggy. They were fun but I'd rather press a button. Thumbs down."
Mario shot daggers at Luigi. "Motion controls are the future."
"What commercial did that come from? All I'm saying is that we had better alternatives to all of those games in our GameCube library. Now I could sure use some Melee right now." Luigi got up, and Mario did afterwards.
"Hold on. I'm gonna get some snacks." And maybe that'll make us appreciate the Wii more, Mario thought. He loved the Wii as any Nintendo fan would, but Luigi did have a point. They needed some better games.
Mario entered the kitchen and made a b-line for the cupboard. Chips, pretzels, and some really bright red mushrooms. Mushrooms it was. He brought them back to Luigi, who idly accepted one. Mario scarfed his down immediately, being struck by its more vivid than usual flavor. Then the flavor turned sour, meaning only one thing. The mushrooms from yesterday's Rogueport raid must have been… BOOTLEG!
"Weegee!" Mario said. He heard his voice echo, becoming more and more distorted. Despite the auditory disturbances, he clearly saw that Luigi taken a bite from his Mushroom already.
"Bro, what's up?" Luigi asked, he voice drowning in reverb. "I'm gonna make a Mii of that Waluigi jerk."
Luigi clicked on 'create new mii'. In a flash Mario found himself in a white void room with faceless people all around. Some wore multicolored shirts with grey pants and others dresses. They walked around aimlessly, occasionally stopping to speak to each other in an indecipherable language, or even sneezing.
"Where the Banzai Bill am I?!"
A hand grabbed Mario and lifted him higher and higher.
"I should start with these eyes," Luigi's voice droned.
Mario was now in a make over studio, complete with a mirror in front of him. He trembled as he saw that he'd been reduced to a red colored Mii with a blank red hat. Despite lacking eyes, he could see his blank face with a narrow nose. Mario screamed.
"Okay, okay bro! Gosh! I'll try this."
A new bulbous nose appeared on Mario. He wanted to cry, but he had no eyes yet. "Weegee! Please please please please…" he sobbed.
"Huh bro? Okay, I'll go with this."
Black eyes with wrinkles popped on to Mario's face, granting his wish. Then a cheesy looking grin.
"No no no no no no!"
"Fine. Let's compromise." Luigi chose a different mouth, an asymmetrical smirk.
"Weegee...you gotta end this-"
A thin, unimpressive mustache materialized under Mario's nose. "Not before I add this. Ha! Oh, and we have to change the color to purple."
Mario saw in the reflection a crude caricature of Waluigi, complete with the misshapen nose, devious grin, sneaky eyes and lame mustache. Throughout his agony, Mario couldn't help but to wonder why his brother wasn't freaking out. They'd both eaten the mushroom, right?
"Mario. You're taking this thing way too seriously; shaking and shuddering over there-" Luigi turned to his right and saw...
...the Mii he'd just created! Both brothers screamed hysterically.
…
…
Luigi descended from the cloud of unconsciousness and hit the cold hard...carpet. The first thing he remembered was hearing the Mii channel song, and then he saw on their cheap tv the Waluigi Mii he'd made. Glancing behind him, Mario was laying on his side, passed out on the couch and drooling.
Luigi shook him. "Bro... Bro, are you okay? Wake up!"
Mario stirred and emitted a gruff moan.
Luigi picked up Mario's flip phone that was sandwiched between the couch cushions. It had a message from Princess Peach.
"Plz com 2 cstle," it said in typical 2006 texting lingo.
In conclusion, the Mario brothers found out that Wii was definitely more interesting after eating bootleg mushrooms. Since that wasn't something they planned on doing all of the time, or ever again for that matter, it made more sense to just buy some more games and a few controllers. But first, being the Mario brothers, there was business at the castle. The brothers left their home, occasionally pinching each other to make sure they were still lucid and on Earth.
Next time: The competitors...