Burt had never felt so tired and so goddamn old in his life. Well, he briefly amended, maybe he had felt similar on the day he had lost Elizabeth, but that had been different. He had had forewarning then, had known it was coming, and so had had time to brace himself for the inevitable. But this? Was there any way for a father to prepare himself for an attack on his baby boy?
"I knew something was wrong as soon as I heard Finn's voice," he said, his voice hollow to his own ears.
He was in some sort of office at the hospital - he wasn't exactly sure where, and, he honestly couldn't remember being brought here. He wasn't alone, there was a slightly overweight sergeant in the room with him, a man of exceptional patience if the fact that he hadn't interrupted Burt's quiet contemplation was anything to go by. "I've never heard that sort of panic in Finn's voice before. I don't want to ever hear it again," he added, his voice cracking a bit as he ran his hand over his baldhead. It was a left over gesture from when he had sported a full head of hair, and it often drew a snicker from Kurt whenever he inadvertently made the gesture. He had come so close to losing his boy. What if he had been robbed of the chance to see his son's teasing face again?
The officer, Richard Stell, remained silent. Burt knew that the man was mostly just here to keep his company. After all, what was there for him to add? Finn had already been interviewed - and boy did the sight of Kurt's blood all over Finn caused Burt's knees to weaken. Stell had sent out someone to talk to Rachel who had not been allowed onto the ambulance. Carole had taken Finn to get his hand bandaged - his knuckles were busted - and Burt was pretty much useless since Kurt was still in the surgery room as they righted his broken ribs and dealt with his stab wounds.
"Finn's not going to be in any trouble, right?" Burt asked, looking up at the man. "It's self-defence?"
For the first time in a while the man spoke, his voice reassuring. "We've already confirmed that Finn's actions saved his step-brother from further harm. No criminal charges will be laid against him. And, off the record, I'll say that he showed a hell of a lot of restraint, given the circumstances."
Burt nodded, a bit of weight lifting on him. He didn't know how he could handle Kurt being hurt and Finn being in trouble for saving him.
"I would keep an eye out on Finn though," the man added.
"Why?" Burt asked, gratefully latching on to that train of conversation. It saved him from drifting back into the last time he was here with someone he loved as an actual patient.
The officer cleared his throat before responding. "From my conversation with Finn, it's clear to me that he holds himself responsible for this happening. He said that he failed to protect Kurt, and from what I see, he truly believes this."
"He saved him," Burt counteracted. "Why would he think that?"
"The fact is, he believes it," the man responded, "and that's worrisome for me. I do believe that there is more to this situation, and we'll uncover the truth as time goes along, but I just want you to know that you should keep an eye out for both your boys."
"I will," Burt promised. "I think I heard someone mentioning something about a counsellor earlier. Wasn't really listening."
"It's standard procedure for trauma victims and their families," he explained. "The state provides for counselling as long as it's necessary. It's not the most pleasant thing, believe me, but it helps keep everything in perspective."
"Been there a lot?" Burt asked, half-joking.
The man chuckled, but nodded. "When you've been on this job as long as I have, and seen the things I have, a lay on a couch ever so often is just what the doctor ordered to keep you sane."
"Not all of his injuries are fresh," Carole said gravely, her face taunt as she dropped down into the free seat beside Burt before looking toward Officer Stell. "Doctor Timothy said that he'll have a full report for you by the morning but...there's bruising and cuts on Kurt that are a little less than a week old."
Burt stiffened beside her. "He's been hurt before this?" he asked, his tone a bit strained, and, if it was not for the knowledge that Kurt still had not been moved to a hospital room, Carole knew that the man would have already been out the door to see for himself. She could understand it; she herself felt horrible. How had Kurt been that badly bruised without her noticing? Even with the distraction of clothing, moving around could not have been that easy for him. How had he managed to keep his signs of discomfort hidden from them all, but more importantly her, a medical professional?
"Perhaps that is what Finn meant?" the officer deduced, glancing toward them, "his guilt?"
Carole sunk back into her seat, recalling Finn's broken words earlier. "Finn would have said something," she countered. "It's bad. He would not have kept that a secret even if Kurt had asked him to."
"Does Kurt have a history of being bullied?"
"They both do," Burt answered, his voice dull, "in different ways yeah, but they both do. Never physical. At least, they never told us about anything physical?" he finished, a questioning lilt to his tone as he looked toward his wife who shook her head in agreement.
"We've been to that school more times than we can count," she explained, looking at the man, "and we keep getting a run-around. It started for Finn after Burt and I married, but for Kurt..."
"Kurt's always had it tough," Burt finished. "High school hasn't been kind to him. He's the only gay boy fully out in a town where that just isn't accepted. Not that he's ever had the chance. Everyone knew he was gay before Kurt even knew what he was himself, and things have always been tough for him because of that. But he's always told me - told us - when things are too much. Hell, I nearly took a flamethrower to that damn middle school when he came home with a black-eye once. If someone's been hurting him, why didn't he just come to us?"
"It's hard to understand why teenagers don't always come forward when they're in trouble," the officer explained. "Shame? Fear? It's tough to say."
"Nothing came of what happened in freshman year," Carole added sadly. "Maybe that triggered it?"
"Someone threw pee-balloons at him and defaced his locker," Burt explained for the man's benefit. "It got linked to a couple of hockey players, but despite all the evidence they got away with one shoddy detention and we had to bear the costs to repair the locker. I know Kurt was really bummed about it...but could that be why...? Do you remember him telling us about anything significant after that?" Burt asked his wife, his voice now slightly panicked. How could he not have noticed until now? Kurt really had been holding things back.
"We'll do our best to sort this out," Stell intervened, trying to cut off Burt's growing panic. "I swear to you that this time Kurt will get justice. So you just focus on your sons and leave the rest to me, okay?"
"We'll do that," Carole promised, resting a calming hand over Burt's slightly larger one. "You have your part to play, and we have ours. Right Burt?"
"Yeah," he agreed gruffly, looking down at where their hands were joined, "let's just focus on bringing our boys home okay for now."
Finn wasn't happy that he had been sent home, but it was understandable. There really was no need for all of them to be at the hospital right now, and besides, he had answers he needed to get. He had not called anyone, mostly because he could not trust his voice to do so. There were many missed calls and messages to him, mostly from the glee club, but also a few from persons lambasting him for betraying Karofsky. Yeah, lambasting. People that stupid existed. Finn almost tossed his phone out the window at that, especially when he noticed a passive aggressive message from Puck, but he restrained himself. He needed information, and Kurt's friends were the best to get it from.
While he waited, hoping that they would forgo asking for irrelevant information, he stalked into Kurt's room, holding a hastily emptied book bag, because there was no way he was going to waste time trying to source a suitcase from the attic. Besides, Kurt was not going to be there long enough to need a suitcase, he told himself. As he reached for the top drawer of Kurt's dresser, Finn froze, staring down at his trembling fingers. He wasn't supposed to be doing this. He wasn't even supposed to be in Kurt's room without permission, not after he had accidentally broken some expensive jar of cream while looking for a spare notepad he could use. If Kurt knew that he was going to surpass that crime and actually rifle through his clothing, he would...he would...do nothing. Because he couldn't since he was trapped in the hospital. Finn didn't know when the book bag slipped from his hand, but he did know when he joined it on the floor, wracking sobs shaking his frame.
They had attacked Kurt. They had kicked him, punched him, stabbed him. He had almost been too late. What if he hadn't had that uneasy feeling? What if he had just gone along with Rachel's furious whisper that it was Kurt's own fault for being stubborn and just not trying coming back to the choir room when he realised that no one was coming to the auditorium? Karofsky had been hell bent on murder, Finn had seen it in the hatred on his face and the ferocity of his strikes. And god the way Kurt had been screaming. Finn knew that those screams would haunt him for the rest of his life.
And, it didn't need to happen. None of that had needed to happen. If only he had listened to his conscious and intervened Kurt would have been fine. Why did he ever think that his popularity meant anything? Why had he even hesitated? Protecting his brother should have been his priority and he had made it an easily ignorable option. And now Kurt was paying for it. Finn rolled over, pulling his knees up so that he could bury his face into it.
He could see it still, the pure look of fear in Kurt's eyes, the blood that he could still see despite the number of times he had washed his hands. He had failed his little brother so badly, and there was no way around that.
Nearly half an hour later, when Finn had no tears left to shed, he lifted his head, letting it thud back painfully against Kurt's dresser.
He would redeem himself, he promised. He would not fail Kurt again. From now on he would protect him from everyone and everything.
No one would ever cause him pain again.
"Officer Stell told me that there's reporters in the hospital," Carole said as she crossed the hospital room to where Burt sat, his gaze fixated on his son. Save the steady beeps of the machines attached to him, the room was otherwise silent. Nearly two hours ago Kurt had been assigned to this room, and since then Burt had been here, trusting his wife to deal with all of the paperwork that needed to be done.
"We're not talking to anyone," Burt responded flatly, "not now."
Carole nodded. "I told him as much," she whispered, pulling the second chair in the room closer before sitting in it, reaching out to take Burt's hand into hers. She followed his gaze to wear Kurt was, poor precious Kurt who now seemed far too young and far too vulnerable.
Doctor Timothy, at her request, had been candid with her. Kurt's condition was no longer as grave as it had seemed to be initially. One of his ribs had indeed been broken but there had been no real risk for a lung puncture. Shifting it back into place had been a simple enough task. There was nothing more to be done for it, or the other three that had been fractured past bandaging Kurt's torso carefully. His movements would have to be restricted for a few days, and they could only hope that the pain medication would be enough to dull the worst of the pain, but his ribs would heal. Save the wound on his arm, a deep jagged cut that had required the most attention given its area, the rest of his stab wounds were largely superficial, most of them glancing cuts. Kurt had protected himself pretty well overall, she acknowledged. His bruises - even the ones he had received previously – overall just needed time to fade. There were ointments they could use to fasten the healing time, but it really just was a waiting game.
By the doctor's summation, past any unforeseen circumstances, Kurt could be home in two or three days and physically would be fully healed within five to six weeks, a benefit of youth, she supposed. His mental state on the other hand...that was a cause for concern. Kurt was a strong boy, she knew that, but everyone had their limits. What if this was his?
The dreary thought had her laying her head against Burt's shoulder seeking comfort. She could not even muster a semblance of a smile when his lips brushed against her hair.
In silence they sat there, looking at their son, both wishing that there was a way that they could take on his pain.