Nami doesn't realize that she's fallen asleep in her beach chair until she's woken by Robin's soft laughter. When she opens her eyes, squinting because the sun's blaring down from a cloudless sky this afternoon, she sees the historian hiding her smile behind one graceful hand and sits up, craning her neck to see what's causing the older woman's amusement.
"Look," Robin chuckles, pointing at the grass where Zoro's dozing a few feet away. "I know Kenshi-san would disagree with me, but he looks awfully cute right now."
Looking at the swordsman and laughing out loud, Nami has to agree, even considering the drool slowly escaping one corner of his slack mouth. Although he was alone earlier when he joined them on the deck and muttered something about taking a nap, he's been joined by both Luffy and Chopper while Nami herself nodded off.
The captain is tucked against Zoro's back, one arm and leg thrown carelessly around the swordsman and his cheek mashed against the older pirate's neck, muffling his faint snoring. Chopper, hat resting on the ground where it's fallen off beside them, is curled into a snug ball against Zoro's chest, where one well-muscled arm holds him securely like a living stuffed animal.
"I never thought I'd hear anyone use Zoro and cute in the same sentence, but you're right." Actually, she thinks, the guys are all a lot cuter when they're sleeping peacefully and not charging around the ship training and squabbling and eating and breaking everything they touch.
Robin lifts the book dangling from her other hand. "It's a shame. I've never seen Kenshi-san look so relaxed, but our doctor says he expects it won't last longer than a few more days."
"He might be more mellow than usual, but he still tried to throw Sanji overboard this morning," Nami points out, although she doesn't quite blame Zoro for losing his temper. She's not particularly sensitive about her weight, but she thinks she'd probably try to drown the cook too if he called her a pudgy marimo. Granted, she also thinks the swordsman overreacted; it's only a couple extra pounds, and she's sure he'll sweat them right off as soon as Chopper agrees to let him start using his weights again.
She watches as Luffy tightens his arm around Zoro's middle, mumbling in his sleep. "At least he's not throwing up all the time anymore. Franky keeps insisting we need to buy more grass seed to patch the lawn, and I know Sanji needs more shoe polish."
"Yes," the historian agrees without looking up from the page she's reading. "I can do without the vomit."
"Do you-" Nami hesitates. "Do you think Luffy's still upset? That this isn't real?"
Lowering her book again, Robin takes another look at the heap of sleeping nakama. Chopper, obviously caught up in a dream, wriggles in his sleep and Zoro sneezes loudly as the reindeer's fur tickles his nose. The swordsman paws irritably at his face, scowling, but he doesn't wake.
"I will admit, his reaction was a bit surprising. Sencho-san's mind works in mysterious ways."
This, the navigator thinks but does not say out loud, is the understatement of the century.
"I'm not sure he ever considered the idea before circumstances forced him to do so." Robin tucks a marker in her book and sets it down beside her. "Luffy can be difficult to read, and he tries very, very hard to avoid dwelling on the past."
She glances over, and Nami sees that her brow is slightly furrowed. "But I think we all know what it's like to feel regret and wonder what might have been had things gone differently, and our captain is no exception, even if he often hides his sorrow with laughter."
The navigator lowers her eyes, fingers unconsciously seeking and tracing the emblem tattooed on her arm, because yes, she knows quite well what Robin means.
"Luffy will deal with this just as he deals with everything else. I believe that we should be more concerned with the other participant in this difficult situation."
"You mean Zoro?" Nami asks in surprise, hand dropping into her lap. "Why? I know he gets upset when the guys tease him - and Sanji's especially been kind of a jerk about the whole thing - but Chopper said he'll be fine."
"Physically, yes, as soon as his body recovers from the side effects of the yagara eggs. But the emotional aspects may be more difficult for him to process."
She smiles sadly at the younger woman's confusion. "There's no doubt that Sencho-san's happiness is very important to everyone, but the connection that he and Kenshi-san share goes far beyond what either of them feel for the rest of us, even excluding their obvious physical attraction to each other. You've been with this crew for much longer than myself, but from what I've seen, Kenshi-san would go anywhere and do anything that Luffy asked him."
Chopper wakes suddenly, and they watch in silence as the doctor squirms out of Zoro's grasp and trudges across the lawn, dragging his hat behind him, to flop down on a shadier patch of grass under one of the trees by the dining hall. The reindeer is panting, tongue hanging from his mouth. "Hot~"
Grumbling and groping around blindly, Zoro seizes the arm curled around him and rolls over on his back, dragging Luffy against his chest. The captain's eyes blink open lazily, assessing that the swordsman's still asleep, and promptly drift closed again.
"He would do anything," Robin murmurs, so low that Nami needs to strain her ears to hear the historian's words. "-but he's finally found one thing that he cannot do for Sencho-san, no matter how much he wishes otherwise."
xxx
Zoro lifts his head from where his arms rest folded on the table before him and yawns widely, earning a sharp poke in the shoulder from the handle of the serving spoon Sanji's grasping.
"Oi, Marimo, quit sleeping at the table."
The swordsman glares at him but doesn't have the energy to respond with anything more than "bite me, ero-cook" before tucking his forehead against the crook of his arm with a muffled grumble. He's glad the odors wafting from the platters of food sitting on the table aren't making his stomach feel like it wants to crawl out his throat anymore, but he's so freaking tired that he isn't sure he has the energy to chew much less smash the annoying eyebrow bastard through the dining hall wall.
"Zoro, are you feeling alright?" This from Chopper, who's been watching him like a goddamn hawk ever since this started, and that analogy makes his shoulders twitch. Hawk, Hawk Eyes. How the fuck is he supposed to fight Mihawk like this? Not that running into the master swordsman any time soon is likely, but then Zoro wasn't really expecting him to show up at the Baratie back then either.
"Fine," he snarls into his elbow, immediately regretting it when the doctor squeaks in alarm and dives for Robin's lap. "Shit. Sorry, Chopper, I'm just tired."
Nami and Usopp exchange glances. Even Sanji looks slightly taken aback, because the swordsman never apologizes or makes excuses for himself.
"Zoro's really grumpy today," Luffy frowns, detaching himself from the cook's shoulders - where he's been clinging for ready access to plates being transferred to the table, undeterred by fingers yanking his cheek hard enough to stretch it a good five inches from his face - and dropping into the open chair next to the swordsman. "Cheer up; we've got meat!"
The captain helps himself, completely ignoring Sanji's protests that the ladies be served first, but surprises everyone by sliding the first portion onto Zoro's plate rather than into his own mouth; that done, he commences the usual feeding frenzy that leaves his nakama scrambling to grab anything edible before their shares disappear.
"I suppose it's too much to wish," Sanji sighs glumly, "-that we have one meal where somebody gets to actually taste the food that I obviously spend too much time preparing."
"It's very good, Cook-san," Robin responds soothingly, and then blinks as reaching fingers pinch a morsel from her plate. "Ah."
"Don't steal Robin's lunch, shitty bastard!"
"She wasn't eating it, so I thought she didn't want it!" Luffy protests, following up with a grunt as the serving spoon that's just left the cook's hand hits him square between the eyes and yo-yos his head backwards. Nami and Usopp duck the ricocheting utensil, and the navigator contemplates leaning across the table to slap the captain upside his idiot head, but she doesn't dare leave her plate unguarded for that long.
"Zoro, you should really eat that before Luffy changes his mind."
"Not hungry, lemme sleep."
Luffy peers at the older pirate's tensed shoulders and reaches over to rub his back with the hand not shoveling food into his own face, laughing delightedly and spraying Usopp with bits of food when Zoro sags under his touch and nearly slides rights off his seat, held upright only by the way he's slumping against Luffy's side.
"Ugh, Luffy, don't share food you've already chewed," Nami reprimands sharply as the sniper brushes at his overalls, expression twisted in a grimace of disgust.
"Sorry," the captain tells them both, voice muffled around the drumstick pursed between his lips. He slurps the whole thing into his mouth, chewing furiously, then - just as Nami's convinced he's actually swallowed it whole - spits the stripped bone onto his empty plate.
He curls an arm around the swordsman leaning against his shoulder, beaming happily when Zoro grumbles faintly but doesn't pull away even when their interaction draws amused glances from the others. Ever since he ate the mystery food that Chopper says is responsible for his weird behavior, the swordsman's been a lot more easily tempted into public displays of affection, something that Luffy's enjoying immensely because it involves a lot less flailing and cursing than usual. Although chasing Zoro down and pinning him to the deck while he throws a fit that people are watching is a lot of fun too.
Sanji opens his mouth to tell the captain that he better start bathing a bit more frequently because it looks as though he might be growing mold, judging by that fuzzy green thing currently attached to him, but he's preempted by the static-laden whine of the look out tower megaphone.
"Oi, Mugiwara, you guys might wanna come check this out. We got company! Looks like- OH SHIT!"
There's an ominous whistling that increases in volume, followed by a watery crash that shakes the Sunny violently, and then Franky starts yelling again. "Haul your asses out here; they're firing on us!"
"What the hell's another ship doing so close to the Florian Triangle?" Nami gasps, ignoring Usopp whimpering and flailing next to her because he's bitten his tongue.
"And I thought we were the only ones stupid enough to come this way..."
Sleep immediately forgotten, Zoro bolts upright, knocking his chair to the floor behind him. Finally, finally, someone to take the brunt of the stress and irritation that's been building in him over the past few days. He's been spoiling for a fight, and nobody on board's been willing to give it to him - the cook included - possibly because none of them have forgotten Luffy's mistaken but violent reaction to his swordsman being threatened. The swordsman would much prefer to think that Sanji's just being a pansy-ass lately than just deferring to the captain, but now it doesn't matter.
His hand reaches automatically for the swords strapped at his side, seeking Kitetsu's hilt first because he knows it's been feeling just as frustrated and useless as himself, and his fingers encounter empty air.
"Zoro stays here," Luffy says quietly, and the swordsman whirls to find all three still-sheathed swords clutched firmly in his captain's grasp. He immediately extends a hand to grab them back, and the younger pirate steps out of his range.
"Luffy, quit fucking around and give me my swords."
"No."
There's another whistle and roar of water making way, much closer this time and accompanied by the splintering of wood, and Franky utters an aggravated shout and demands they get out here, NOW, but everyone in the gallery is frozen, eyes locked on the scene playing out before them.
"I don't give a shit what Chopper told you!" Zoro growls, gesturing at the doctor without looking, and the reindeer flinches and nearly backs right off Robin's lap, because the swordsman is downright seething with rage. "I can fight, so give back my goddamn swords!"
"No. Zoro stays here." Luffy states again firmly, ignoring the murderous gleam in the older man's eyes as he shoves all three swords into a startled Nami's arms. "Hang on and I'll be right back, okay?"
"S-Sure," the navigator agrees nervously, because she's never, ever deliberately touched the weapons without permission before, even if she does eye them speculatively now and then, wondering exactly what they're worth.
"I-I've got to take a leak, so I'll be hiding in the b-b-bathroom now," Usopp stammers as he scrambles to hide behind Robin and the equally terrified Chopper, determined to put some distance behind himself and Nami before the navigator decides she really doesn't want to die and tries to hand the swords off to him instead.
"Nami-" Zoro starts, his voice thick with anger, and she nearly shrieks in surprise as one of the swords twitches suddenly in her grasp, rattling in its sheath, but the swordsman's interrupted by Luffy's fist knotting in his shirt and yanking him off balance.
"Zoro. Stays. Here."
Growling, the older pirate slams his fist down on the table hard enough to rattle the partially-empty dishes, but when he tears out of Luffy's grasp, he drops heavily onto the bar bench and turns his back on them, because the captain is speaking with the tone that he rarely uses to address his crew. The one that says I'm in charge, so sit down and shut up.
"Be right back," Luffy promises again, giving a reassuring grin to Nami, who looks as though she might protest his leaving the room even if it now sounds like the ship is being literally bombarded with canon balls. "Gotta go before Franky starts freaking out. Sanji?"
The cook nods and moves to join him, hand brushing whisper-light against the swordsman's elbow as he passes, because he can't help feeling reluctant sympathy. Zoro stiffens as though he's been slapped, and in that moment he wants very badly to break every one of Sanji's delicate fingers, even though he knows the other man's not responsible for their captain's decision.
He glares down at the countertop, half-wishing for the varnish to bubble and smolder under his gaze, and ignores the faint burning in his eyes and the moisture collecting on the shiny surface below, because - imbalanced hormones or not - there's no fucking way Roronoa Zoro is crying because his captain picked someone else to fight at his side.
xxx
They sit in uncomfortable silence, aware of but not actually concentrating to hear the raucous chaos outside. Nami stares at Zoro's back, clutching the bundle of swords in her lap and praying that she just imagined that earlier movement. She knows the swordsman sometimes talks to his blades, although usually not in earshot of the other Straw Hats if he can help it, and she's noticed that Luffy avoids touching the swords - especially the one Zoro calls Kitetsu - unless it's absolutely necessary.
The swordsman makes a strangled-sounding noise that sounds suspiciously like a sob, and Nami thinks it's impossible for the room to go any quieter, but it does. The sight of Zoro's hunched shoulders twists something deep in her stomach as she recalls her conversation with Robin earlier this afternoon, and she cautiously places the swords on the table where she can still see but doesn't need to touch them. If for some unfathomable reason they really do react to their master's mood, she does not want her hands anywhere near them, even if one is severely damaged and they are all sheathed and marginally less dangerous in that state.
Usopp fidgets nervously beside her, having returned to his seat when he decided that Zoro probably wasn't going to snap and kill everyone in the room. Chopper looks equally restless as he perches on Robin's thighs, listening distractedly to Luffy's wild laughter and the occasional explosion, but the historian - whose experiences have long ago taught her to eat when she can - is slowly but methodically cleaning her plate.
Eventually the racket outside dies down and the victors troop back in, grinning with faces smeared with soot and smelling faintly of smoke. They're accompanied by Franky, who's torn between moaning over the repairs he'll need to complete on the ship and praising his nakama for saving Sunny from further damage.
"Eyebrow-bro was just super," he tells Nami excitedly, missing the fact that said eyebrow is twitching in annoyance, because no matter what Sanji says, the cyborg won't stop calling the cook by that stupid nickname. "But why didn't Zoro- what, what's wrong, Nagappanna?"
Usopp, who immediately started waving both hands for Franky to stop, just please stop talking already as soon as the oblivious cyborg opened his mouth, cringes as the swordsman turns to face them, his voice dangerously low. "I would've, but some idiot decided I'd be better off sitting on my ass, collecting dust."
"Marimo, just drop it already. You know Luffy wouldn't-"
Zoro's hand shoots out and grabs the cook by the throat, his fingers squeezing tightly enough that the man's forced to stop talking so he can concentrate on breathing. One hand rises to grip the angry swordsman's wrist, but Sanji keeps both feet planted firmly on the ground, unwilling to encourage him.
Nami's rising from her chair, determined to put an end to the squabble before it escalates into actual bloodshed, but it's Luffy who grabs Zoro's pierced earlobe and jerks the swordsman's head down until he's forced to release the cook, wincing and cursing at the captain. The navigator flinches; she wouldn't have gone for the earrings.
"Wanna fight somebody, fight me." Luffy's voice is deceptively soft, but there's no mistaking the steel underneath.
"Fine," Zoro snarls, wrenching his head free. His ear stings like mad, but he doesn't care. "Let's go."
"Luffy, Zoro, don't-" Chopper's protest dies unfinished as the captain turns his head to glare at the rest of his crew and orders them to stay put until he tells them otherwise.
No one argues, although Nami twitches back visibly as the swordsman's hand moves in her direction, reaching for the swords still heaped in front of her.
"Leave 'em," the captain says, catching Zoro's sleeve before his fingers can do more than brush Kitetsu's hilt. "No swords, and no gomu attacks."
"Whatever."
Luffy rocks back on his heels, expression blank and unreadable, as the older pirate shoves past him and stalks out the open door. The tension lightens perceptively with his exit, and Usopp jumps out of his seat, stumbling over his words as he begs their captain to please not do this because it reminds him entirely too much of another fight between nakama not so long ago, but Luffy just grins unconcernedly and tells Chopper that he might be needed in a few minutes.
Zoro doesn't bother waiting for Luffy to announce he's ready to fight; he launches an attack the moment the younger pirate sets foot onto the deck, and they trade blows outside the dining hall, until the empty-handed swordsman backs Luffy to the top of the slide and promptly kicks him down it, following closely behind.
The captain rolls with the impact and, when he reaches the grass on the deck below, immediately springs to his feet, crouching low to avoid the boot aimed at his head. He sweeps out one of his own feet and easily kicks Zoro's other leg out from under him, no stretching needed, and the swordsman crashes face-first into the lawn deck.
"Zoro should leave the kicking to Sanji."
He intends the comment to piss Zoro off if not send him into an outright frenzy, and the older pirate reacts as expected, snarling threats as he bounds to his feet and lunges after Luffy, who's backing away. It's simplicity for the captain to duck low and flip the uncoordinated attack over his shoulder, and Zoro lands hard on his back, coughing and gagging soundlessly because it feels as though all the air was expelled from his lungs by Luffy's elbow slamming into his solar plexus.
He rolls over onto all fours, retching, and realizes that the captain's backed off again and is watching him silently, arms at his sides. He actually looks bored, and anger overrides the swordsman's inability to get a decent breath of air.
The third and final time, when he finds himself plastered upside down against the wall outside the men's quarters, he finally understands why Luffy told everyone else to stay inside. Dragging himself into a sitting position and wincing as his shoulders and back protest, he glares up at the captain. "You didn't-"
His diaphragm doesn't want to work properly, and Luffy waits patiently even though it's a moment or two before he can start again. "You didn't give a shit if Usopp had an audience while you beat the crap out of him."
"Usopp was ready to fight for what he believed in, not make himself look like an idiot," the captain states coldly. "I'm done here."
Zoro's face goes deathly pale and he rises slowly to his feet. His fist is swinging out even before he realizes it, but he doesn't pull the punch because he knows Luffy's just going to dodge and fucking clobber him again anyway, and he's hoping the captain will just knock him out already so he doesn't keep seeing that disappointment in the smaller pirate's eyes.
To his horrified surprise, Luffy doesn't dodge, doesn't even bring up an arm to deflect the blow. It hits him square in the jaw hard enough to spin his head like a top - which Zoro thinks would be a hell of a lot funnier under different circumstances - and throws him clear across the lawn deck. He hits the mast forcefully enough to send splinters of wood flying and collapses face-first into a motionless heap.
Rage consumed instantaneously by terror, the swordsman races to his side and turns him over with trembling hands, hoping desperately that he hasn't accidentally accomplished what a hell of a lot of other pirates and Marines alike have been attempting and failing to do for months now.
"Ow." Luffy grumbles, glaring up at him, and Zoro sits down hard, breath catching in his throat because his heart's running an endless marathon in his chest.
"Y-You idiot! Why didn't you MOVE?"
"That hurt!" Luffy whines, turning his head away to spit bloody phlegm and oh god, that better not be a tooth or Chopper's going to kill them both. "Zoro hits even harder than Nami!"
"I thought you were gonna block it!"
"Zoro owed me one." Luffy squints up at him and smiles brightly at the swordsman's shocked expression, and fucking hell, it was a tooth, because there's a gaping hole in that huge grin.
He digs expectantly and then a bit more frantically through the grass beside them, knowing that Nami's going to raise his interest through the roof for this if Chopper can't reattach the damn thing and they need to visit an actual hospital at the next island, and sighs in relief when he finally locates what he's pretty sure is a molar.
"You think there's any food left?"
Zoro gives an exasperated growl. "I don't know, and I don't care. Luffy, I could have broken your frickin' neck!"
"Maybe, if I wasn't rubber."
The captain stops there, but he's got that look again that means he's saying more than the words coming out his mouth, and the swordsman hears all of it loud and clear. Luffy's rubber and capable of taking a lot of damage, but their nakama aren't, and a chill shivers up Zoro's spine as he realizes that he really could have broken someone's neck, if he'd been fighting Sanji, or Usopp or even Nami.
This stupid malady's definitely affecting his strength, or else he wouldn't have lost so easily, but it's also playing hell with his self-control, and that's more dangerous.
"Spar with Sanji, but save the real fighting for me," Luffy tells him, or tries to tell him, because his tongue is busy exploring the empty hole in his mouth so it all comes out sounding like gibberish. It doesn't matter; he knows from Zoro's expression that the swordsman understands.
Cupping the loose tooth carefully in one hand, the older pirate struggles to his feet and dusts himself off. "Let's get you to Chopper."
Luffy ignores the hand extended down to him and reaches over to tug on his trouser leg. "I'm tired. Carry me."
Zoro grumbles, but he leans down and scoops his captain up anyway, snorting at the arms and legs that wrap around his torso like octopus tentacles. "Don't ask for much, do you, Sencho?"
"Nope," Luffy laughs in his ear. "I just wanna finish lunch. Oh, and makeup sex! I want lots and lots of makeup sex."
"Heh, I think that can be arranged..."
xxx
Chopper panics at the sight of the molar in Zoro's palm, and it takes Sanji and Franky combined to corral the screaming, flailing reindeer and remind him rather forcibly that while he may not be a dentist, he certainly is a doctor and therefore responsible for ensuring that the tooth makes it safely back into Luffy's head.
The captain, who insists on proudly displaying the bloody hole to anyone who will look as well as those who won't, doesn't understand why Usopp cringes and flees the room with excuses that he needs to finish an important project in his workshop. When Nami threatens to knock out a few more teeth if Luffy doesn't stop breathing in her face, Zoro snags him by the scruff and drops into the nearest empty seat, pinning the younger pirate securely against his chest.
"Move it, Chopper. I can't promise I'll be able to hold him for long."
Sanji deposits the squirming doctor on the table beside them, and when he leans over, the swordsman catches a glimpse of the vivid finger-marks his chokehold left on the cook's pale neck. He's found himself wanting to throttle the bastard more than once, but now that he's actually done it, or tried to - and due to a lack of control rather than a fair fight - it doesn't make him feel quite the way he expected.
"Oi, cook. I-"
"Don't you dare tell me you're sorry," Sanji growls, punching him in the shoulder. "Quit acting all goddamn girly, unless you want me to kick you through the ceiling."
Zoro bristles, unable to retaliate because he's got both hands busy preventing Luffy from slithering out of his lap. "Who'd wanna apologize to YOU, goddamn curly-brow?"
Nami, who's passing behind them on her way to the kitchen sink, puts down her empty plate and dirty silverware long enough to bang their heads together. "Enough! Now give Chopper a hand before Luffy swallows that damn thing!"
The doctor, who has hopped off the table and transformed to Heavy Point during the argument, is trying unsuccessfully to re-insert the freshly rinsed tooth into the empty socket. He keeps missing because Luffy won't hold still and won't stop talking.
"Sanji, Sanji! Is there any meat left?"
"For the love of-"
"Oi, Marimo, don't let go."
Sanji leans forward over his nakama's shoulders to grab Luffy by the face, jamming four fingers into either side of the captain's mouth and pulling. Chopper makes a startled noise, and the cook's sure that Luffy's face looks freaky as hell stretched out like that, but the doctor recovers quickly and goes to work.
He finishes none too soon, because Luffy's started writhing like an agitated python, rubbing against Zoro's lap in all the right ways at the wrong time, and Chopper nearly loses a finger as Sanji abruptly releases the captain's jaws and stumbles backwards because the swordsman's just groaned in his ear.
"Quit moaning at me, shitty bastard!"
"In your dreams, dartboard- Oi!"
Luffy, having already forgotten the dental procedure he's just undergone, has realized that he's being poked rather firmly in the rump and has swiveled around on Zoro's lap to face him, his newly repaired grin taking up most of his face as he fishes the swordsman's shirt hem out of his haramaki. "Zoro, you promised~"
"Not here!"
Luffy flails momentarily as he's lifted onto Zoro's shoulder, throwing an arm around the swordsman's neck to anchor himself as the older pirate rises from his seat. His disappointment at being interrupted vanishes when he realizes that being draped over a shoulder like this puts him within convenient grabbing distance of something else.
"For the next hour or two, everybody stay out of the ba-GACK!" Zoro jumps as a hand worms down the back of his trousers to squeeze one of his ass cheeks and swats Luffy's upended rear sharply in retaliation, drawing a startled yip from the captain. "BATHHOUSE! Everybody stays out!"
"See you guys later!" The younger pirate beams at them as he's carried out the door.
"I've never met anyone quite like you people," Franky observes from where he's standing by the walk-in refrigerator, where he retreated as soon as Nami started knocking heads together.
"You eventually get used to it-" the navigator mutters as Sanji finally realizes what she's doing and rushes to intercept, plucking the dirty plate from her hand and shooing her away from the sink. "-and you learn to knock very loudly and repeatedly on doors before opening them, although it doesn't always do any good."