Chapter 2

Tifa stood glaring at Cloud waiting for a response. He should have a lot of things to say but he's still standing there, staring at the ground. Why isn't he saying anything? He just pointed his sword at me and is acting like it was almost nothing. Tifa was growing increasingly impatient.

"I'm sorry. I just . . . I have had to protect myself over the years and sleeping like that became a habit." How can I tell her that I sleep like that so I'm not the one killed?

Tifa cautiously stepped towards him, worrying whether he would raise his sword again. When she was within a few feet of him, he sat down on the floor and looked up, his bright, crystal blue eyes begging for understanding.

"You used to tell me about crazy adventures where you had to run for your life, where men tried to kill you, where you saw men die. Cloud, tell me what you really did for a living five years ago. I don't care what it was, but, just, please, tell me the truth." Tifa really wasn't sure she wanted to know, but that was irrelevant. It had now become a matter of trust. Either he told her the truth, or she would kick him out to fend for himself hoping to never set her eyes on him again.

"Tifa . . . I don't know where to begin."

"Well, dammit, how about the beginning?" Tifa was becoming irritated at his reluctance to even speak, much less answer the question. Cloud had become good at avoiding questions after years of practice. He could never let anyone know what he did since many people were still after his life. Tifa knew more about him than anyone, and he did not want to betray that trust.

Is being near her and keeping her trust worth putting her life in danger? There has to be some way to satisfy her without telling the whole truth. Cloud's mind raced with ideas to defuse the situation, knowing none of which would satisfy Tifa. All right, maybe if I tell her a glazed version of it all, she'll let it slide for now. I can't believe I'm doing this. It's going to put her in danger, more danger than I can protect her from.

"I don't want to put you in danger, Tifa. If I tell you anything I may not be able to protect you if something-"

"I don't care!" Tifa interrupted. "Either tell me everything or walk out of the door right now." This had gone on for long enough. Now he's trying to scare me out of knowing? Does he honestly think that will work?

Dammit, Tifa, I don't have a choice if I want to stay near you. "Alright, you win. I'll be honest with you about my past." Well, part of it at least. I hope I can get out of this without saying everything. I don't even want to remember it much less tell anyone about it.

"Now that we have that cleared up," Tifa watched him intently. "Start talking."

"I used to make money using my sword. I was a bodyguard for various people. I fought for a living." Hell had just frozen over. "I can't tell you who I fought, not that it matters. I can't tell you who because I don't know. I can tell you that I'm not the most popular guy in Midgar, on or under the plate because of those fights."

Tifa gave him a focused stare. Does he really expect me to buy this crap? Come on, Cloud, I'm not that gullible. Bodyguards aren't hunted down once they quit, and there is no way you could make 100 million as a bodyguard at 16 even if it was for someone like the president of Shin-Ra.

Cloud saw her mistrust. I hope she starts buying it soon because her life isn't worth the whole truth. "I worked for many different people, some richer than others, and became well known in darker circles for my skills. I could protect anyone from anybody, for the right price."

"Give it up!" Tifa's outburst startled Cloud. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that you amassed a fortune protecting people down here under the plate after hearing all those stories about you running for your life? I can't believe I even let you talk as long as you did. Just get out." Tifa turned away, pointing at the staircase. "Just get out of my house, my bar, and my life." Cloud was crushed. He began walking to the doorway.

I don't have any choice now; I can't let it end like this. I won't be cast aside for telling the truth! "I was a bodyguard! I did protect people . . . from others . . . like me." Cloud's expression became very subdued after his outburst. Tifa softened and turned back around finding him staring at the floor.

Wait, did he say others like me? What does he mean? Even if he were a bodyguard, why would he protect people from other bodyguards? That wouldn't be possible unless . . . no.

"Cloud, maybe you should leave. I don't like how you keep lying to me and if you can't trust me, then well, I don't think I can trust you." Tifa's mouth slowly dropped. There is no way. Him . . . an assassin? He killed people for money? No, that can't be, the Cloud I knew only stopped fights. He would never hurt anyone unless he had to.

"Tifa, I left Midgar for a reason. I didn't leave for a job; I didn't leave for money. I left out of fear." Cloud looked up with a terrified expression on his face, his blue eyes shining in the morning light. "The only way I could get out of that life was leaving this place forever. And after five years . . . I found that I couldn't stay away from this place, no matter how much I probably should."

The room was quiet while both of them thought about the words just said. He was serious the whole time. His body was shaking as he said it all. The boy, no, man, standing before me used to be a murderer? Is he still? Tifa slowly stepped back in horror. He said he couldn't stay away from Midgar. Did he come back to take another job? Why did he come find me of all people? He used to say I made him want to stop, but does he resent me for that, for giving him a conscience?

Cloud stood in the doorway at the top of the stairs. His body was still trembling from having to remember the horrific things he had done to so many. She must hate me. I can hear her walking away. She's terrified of me. Dammit, I promised her I would never scare her again! Look at the first thing I went and did after she was kind enough to put a roof over my head for the first night in a month. I need to leave her before she becomes too scared of me to speak, if she isn't already. Cloud took a step towards the stairs.

He's . . . trembling? Did he really mean it when he said he left because he wanted to get away from that life? Is that why he came to me? Is that why he came to the bar night after night? Was I some piece of normalcy he was missing in his life? Is that why he . . . was always so protective of me? She noticed him take a step towards the staircase. Are you leaving, Cloud? I don't know what to make of all of this but are you leaving without giving me a chance to say anything in response? Cloud, I . . . I don't want you to disappear like you did five years ago but . . . Tifa's thoughts began to drift from terror to worry. Cloud seemed to be horrified of his own past, and she was frightened just imagining it. Tifa began to think about what it must have been like to actually kill any human, about what Cloud might have gone though after realizing he could be more than a murderer.

"Cloud?" Tifa faintly whispered as he took another step down the stairs. "Are you . . . okay?" Tifa was becoming genuinely concerned about Cloud. His body was shaking more and more violently with every slow step. "Cloud, are you leaving?" she asked as he took another step. Please say something, Cloud. Please just say something. If you're leaving just say good-bye. Don't leave like this, not without saying anything. Cloud took one more step down the stairs.

She would never be able to be near me. She would never be able to stand my presence. I did such horrible things, and worst of all, I lied about it all to her. I wasn't the one running for my life, those other men were. How could she ever trust a man like me, a man who had no value for human life other than money? How could . . . Cloud's thoughts stopped mid-sentence as his mind went blank. His violent tremors had become so bad that he couldn't keep his balance. His body collapsed from under him letting him fall down the stairs. He heard someone scream. Probably Tifa, he thought. Before he passed out one last thought went through his mind. Please forgive me, or at least forget me.

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Damn, my head hurts. Cloud's mind began to wake up from a deep sleep. I didn't drink anything, I know that much. He shifted his body, slowly stretching out his muscles and joints. My body feels okay for the most part. He stretched his torso. Ouch! What the hell? Why do my ribs hurt? It feels like I just fell . . . down . . . damn. Cloud suddenly remembered what had happened. He finally recalled telling Tifa a small bit about his past, only to collapse from remembering all of it himself. His eyes slowly opened as he sat up.

"Where the hell?" Cloud was lying in a bed with a small, damp rag on his forehead. As he looked around, he noticed a sparsely decorated room. Did someone pick me up and drag me to a hotel or something to take care of me? He noticed his sword over in a corner next to his boots. I guess whoever brought me here doesn't hate me. There was a knock on the door before it began to open. Cloud dropped back flat onto the bed and closed his eyes before the person entered the door.

"Cloud? Are you awake?" Tifa's gentle, angelic voice came from the doorway. "Cloud? I thought I heard you moving." She slowly walked over to the bed with a small basin of cool water. I hope he's okay. He's been unconscious for almost two days now. "I don't know what happened, Cloud. I wish I knew why you collapsed like that. I wish I knew what to do. I hope you wake up soon." There was sadness in her voice as she removed the warm, damp cloth from his forehead.

Tifa, you're the one who's been taking care of me? Why, after all the things I said? Cloud's mind raced with a thousand thoughts while she dabbed the sweat off his face and rinsed the rag. How could I ever expect to regain your trust after breaking it like I did? His face began to tighten with all the questions in his mind.

"Cloud! What's wrong? Oh no, please, be okay." Tifa's earnest voice filled the room. She rinsed the rag again and fervently dabbed his face and neck. "Please, Cloud, you have to wake up. I'm sorry for what I said the other day; I didn't mean to make you suffer. Please, just wake up!"

Sorry? What does she have to be sorry for? I'm the one who hurt her. That's right . . . I am the one who hurt her. Maybe I should apologize. Maybe? No, I have to apologize. Once I've done that, I can leave her and her life in peace. He slowly opened his eyes. "Tifa?"

"Cloud, you're awake!" Tifa jumped at him, wrapping her arms around him. "I was so worried! You've been unconscious for two days and I was starting to fear the worst!" Tifa held him close as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Tifa? What are you doing?" Cloud was bewildered by Tifa's actions. He had never had a woman hold him as she was holding him now. "Is everything alright?"

"You idiot! Can't you understand that I was worried about you? I was beginning to think you wouldn't wake back up!" Tifa pulled back so she could look through her watery eyes into his. After a brief moment with their eyes locked, Tifa's face changed to a saddened expression. "Cloud, I'm sorry. I said some horrible things to you the other day, and for that I'm sorry. I know that . . ."

Cloud began to sit up. "No Tifa, I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I'm the one who lied. I'm the one who broke your trust." Tifa relaxed her grip further and placed one foot on the floor, still a sad look on her face. "You said that I needed to leave, and . . . that's exactly what I need to do and what I'm going to do." Cloud began to climb off the end of the bed.

"What are you . . . Cloud? Are you leaving?" Tifa's expression began to change. She could not even begin to fathom Cloud's reasoning. Regardless, him leaving was not what she wanted, not after how she had said such awful things in her opinion. Her face reflected her new serious tone as she became filled with determination to keep him around until she knew who he really was.

"Dammit, Cloud, what are you thinking? After I spent two days taking care of you, you want to just walk out the door?" Tifa's voice was filled with anger despite her eyes still being filled with tears. Cloud stopped walking towards the door. Tifa had become angry with him, not for his past, as she was two nights prior. He has the audacity to want to walk out after I try to apologize for the other night? Can't he see that I want him around, that stupid idiot? Tifa stood up, pointedly advancing towards Cloud.

"What . . . Tifa?" While Tifa could not understand Cloud's mindset, Cloud could not understand Tifa's thinking. What the hell did I do? I'm only doing what she wanted me to do and what needs to be done. Tifa's demeanor calmed after she stepped between Cloud and the doorway.

"Leaving now isn't going to change anything, but . . ." Tifa paused trying to collect her thoughts. She had never before thought about what Cloud really meant to her. Five years ago he was always there, encouraging her with his shining blue eyes and absurdly spiky blonde hair. It was true that she had missed him occasionally over the years for no other reason than he had evolved into a source of comfort and familiarity while tending to the rowdy crowd that normally occupied her bar. However, seeing him again had caused her to recall her decisions the past five years. "Cloud, would you please stay for a while?" Cloud looked at Tifa bewildered, her eyes turned slightly downward and to the side.

"Tifa, you yourself said that I should . . ."

"I know what I said," Tifa interrupted, her gaze returning to meet his. "I know I said you had better leave, but I think I was mistaken. If you don't mind, would you stay so we can catch up? It has been five years after all." Tifa's expression had softened further, now to the point where her eyes, still holding her tears from earlier, softly cried out for attention.

Cloud was not sure what to make of the situation. He readily recalled the events that had transpired the other night, leading him to decide to leave. She wanted me to leave then, but now she wants me to stay? She just isn't making any sense. What does she really want from me?

"Cloud?" Tifa's eyes searched for some form of affirmation from him. "Please, I know I said some things that I shouldn't have." Cloud's eyes dropped from her gaze. "We haven't even heard from each other in almost five years since you left. You obviously had your own reasons for leaving and left of your own accord, but it has been five years. Please, just, stay so we can at least catch up. If you want to leave after that . . . well, I guess I can't stop you if you really want to go." Her eyes dropped to the floor as his had.

She's right. It has been a while, and it would be nice to stay in one place for more than a day or two. I don't want her in danger, but I guess a few days wouldn't cause any real harm. Cloud's mind slowly mulled over her proposition, agreeing more every time he reiterated it in his mind. He slowly raised his eyes hoping to meet hers only to find hers as his were, at the ground. A few days couldn't hurt.

"Tifa," he started. Her eyes immediately returned to meet his. "All right, I'll stay for a few days." Her face began to brighten. "It's nice to see you again, and I would like to know what you've been up to for the past five years." A smile spread across Tifa's face as she closed her eyes and nodded in agreement.

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Cloud had finally given in, against his better judgment he felt, and would stay with Tifa for a week as she had finally requested. He would actually sleep on the couch, rather than in a corner as he had the first night. She also made him promise that he would not sleep with his sword in his hands. She would never admit it to him, but she was truly terrified when she saw the expression of murderous intent on his face. Tifa assigned him the tasks of both bouncer and janitor while he helped with the bar, jobs he did not mind performing as he had done them five years ago on occasion.

Cloud had rested most of the day since he awoke after his fall, but with the bar open, Tifa needed his help. A few people did drink too much and tried to start a fight during the evening, a situation that Cloud promptly resolved. Yuffie attempted to pick up her usual assortment of guys, much to the irritation of Tifa as usual. Yuffie spent more time trying, and failing, to pick up guys than she spent working. Cloud even had to drag her off a few patrons, which Tifa found amusing, seeing Yuffie being carried off underneath Cloud's arm fighting to get free and return to a newly relieved customer.

As it neared closing time, Cloud began cleaning up the bar per Tifa's instruction. He began moving the stock to the storeroom, clearing the now empty tables of their glasses, and wiping down the vacant tables. Patrons slowly left the bar, followed by Yuffie at closing time, while Cloud remained to finish cleaning up as Tifa checked the stock.

"You need any help over there?" Cloud looked at Tifa while she mulled over numbers and gil spread across the counter.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just making sure Yuffie didn't steal any money tonight."

"Well, if you do let me know." Cloud finished wiping down the last table and walked over to Tifa. "I'm done cleaning everything, you need anything else?" Tifa looked up at him.

"No, why don't you head upstairs and shower or something? I just have a little more to do then I'll be up." Cloud turned and began walking up the stairs. He worked so hard tonight and he seemed to be feeling better. I hope he really is all right. Her thoughts returned not to the money on the bar, but rather the countless looks she had given him, not a single one she thought he noticed.

The water ran down his back, the warmth soaking into his body. Cloud reflected on the night, remembering his constant glances at Tifa, not a single one he thought she noticed. She had become more beautiful over the past five years; her body had matured and filled out, making her appearance stunning. Her eyes had become deeper, more soulful, but they were as energetic as when he first met her. The last time I saw her she was only sixteen. I guess people can change a lot in five years. Cloud himself felt stagnated, as if he was the same person as the day he left the gates of the slums headed for Kalm five years ago; that fateful day when he vowed never to return again.

He heard the stairs creak as Tifa walked up to the second floor. He turned the water off while reaching for a towel. Tifa disappeared into her bedroom just before Cloud emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. Cloud called out to her.

"So was tonight a normal night for the bar? I mean, I'm guessing that Cid guy drinks himself stupid every night." He was trying to find some semblance of a conversation. He still felt awkward living under the same roof as her. "I'd also bet that Yuffie tries to pick up guys like that all the time. Does it ever work?" Cloud dressed while he waited for a response.

Tifa had not answered by the time Cloud was dressed. Her silence had begun to worry him. Is she all right? Cloud's thoughts quickly imagined the worst possible scenario. He hurried to her bedroom door only to slowly crack it open. He heard no noise causing his curiosity to get the better of him. He opened the door enough to peer into the room. Tifa was lying face up on the still-made bed, fully dressed, fast asleep. Cloud's heart slowed back to a normal pace as he took a deep breath. She was fine, just exhausted from the night's work.

Cloud walked over to the side of the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty. His bright blue eyes watched her angelic face as she breathed shallow breaths of the humid air left from his shower. After a moment, he slowly untied her boots, delicately removing them and placing each as the foot of the bed. With her boots removed, Cloud gently lifted her torso pulling the sheets down to her waist then placing one of her soft pillows beneath her head. He then carefully lifted her legs as he pulled the sheets far enough down to move them around her feet. He gingerly rolled her onto her side before he laid the sheets on top of her, ensuring she would be warm during the chilly night. As he returned to the door, he glanced over his shoulder to gaze upon her one last time before he lowered his head and closed the door. He never did hear her whisper his name only moments later.

Cloud returned to the couch as he promised he would. He glanced at the corner, making sure his sword was all right as he sat down on the couch. He would keep his promise to sleep on the couch, and without sword in hand. Completely unaware of it, Cloud had sworn to himself to do anything Tifa would ask, without hesitation. She was still the testament to stability he so desperately desired to have. As he lay down a thought crossed his mind.

Maybe someday I really will be rid of my old life, my old memories, my old pain. Maybe someday, and then maybe when that day comes she'll be with me. Cloud drifted off to sleep thinking about how nice it was to be near her, without having killed the night before. His dreams were peaceful for once. He wouldn't remember them in the morning, but his dreams were of a small town near the mountains, a well in the center, children laughing in the summer sun, Tifa holding his hand, a golden band on her left ring finger, and one on his as well.