Even after reading the letter continuously over the past eleven years, he finally met his son tonight. Nothing could have prepared him for the feelings that overwhelmed his heart. Since the night he lost Lily, he put up his occulmency wards up after that he did not want to feel any emotion after that. He was numb, the things he learned that night made so many emotions swirl inside of him, but he had things to do he had to protect himself from those that were now out to get him since he was branded a 'traitor' by both sides.
Noticing him from the moment he entered the great hall, Harry had his hair; he could also tell that he will have his height and lankiness when he gets older as well. Meeting his eyes was the hardest part, seeing her in him made his chest constrict. Severus was sitting at dinner having a one sided conversation with Quirrell, snippets of memories pushed his way through the blockade he put up so many years ago, and he reminisced about that night.
The night Lily had come to see him in London; he was there for a potions conference with a couple of the other masters'. They meet up every three years or so to confer about some of the new potions that had come out, and whether or not certain ingredients should be used in certain potions or not.
Having been relaxing on the queen bed in his hotel room, shoes off, reading glasses on, checking his pocket watch after every chapter to see how long it would be until he decided to grab some dinner. A knock aroused him out of his book, blinking, checking the time once again it was nearing seven thirty in the evening. Curious, he did not order anything, the death eaters have not called in a couple days, and the other masters were going home that evening he was waiting until morning to leave.
Slipping his shoes back on, the knock was quite consistent, becoming irritated, stalking over to the door, and jerking it open a roar at the end of his tongue about being bothered, he saw Lily crying in front of him, than arms around his waist, and a sobbing woman in his arms.
Not knowing what to do or say, he led her to the bed that he was just occupying, guiding her to sit down, she did, her emerald eyes were blood shot, "I'm sorry Severus…I heard from the last order meeting that you would be here and I did not know where else to go." She stammered through the sobs that escaped her lips.
"Ssshh Lily what is the matter, why are you here?" His voice was soft as he could manage it; each question held his mind for a second but then was pushed away by another.
Taking a minute to calm herself, she than whispered, "James and I we are over. "
Not making eye contact with him, her chestnut hair covered her face. Silence echoed through the room, he had no idea what to say or do. He took the condition of Lily in and her hair was disheveled probably from apperating and that fact that it has not stopped raining in the middle of London in three days. "Lily have you eaten?"
Severus pushed his wall back up again; he needed to keep his mask up. Quirrell was still talking about the vampires that he met over the summer he could care less, however, he was curious about getting some vampire blood or one of their decayed teeth for research purposes.
They were midway through the meal and Severus stood abruptly which scraped the chair legs against the floor. It was loud enough for the headmaster to hear they all looked down at him; he turned on his heel, stalking behind the head table, and stalked down near his slytherins. Feeling several pairs of eyes following him, he exited the great hall. Not caring what Albus will lecture later on. Heading back to his office, he wanted the sanctity of his office, where he could be alone.
The walls, his walls, that he built up over the years hardening his heart, they tumbled down when he saw his son. Severus' feet were on autopilot that took him down to his sanctuary. Unwarding his office, entering he slammed the door shut behind him. Going over to his personal brewing room, where he brewed the school potions and any other potion that he may need. He was still in the middle of brewing some of the potions for Poppy, he needed to stir the batch and have it simmer for the next couple of hours, bottle it than take the batch up to her. Having it simmering, he went to sit at his desk trying to focus on checking the syllabus to make sure that each of the potions were appropriate for each year level. However, his mind kept wondering "Gah damn it!"
Severus clutched the letter to the point of where his knuckles had started to turn white, and the letter itself was crinkled where his hand held the parchment, sighing; he slipped the note back into his desk drawer, pulling out his muggle cigarettes. He had stopped the habit years ago, but for some reason tonight he would have one, palming the carton back into the drawer, making sure it was locked with a key, and magic to make sure no one could get into it.
Running his fingers through his onyx black hair, Severus lit his cigarette taking a couple of inhales of the nicotine; he fingered the small item in between his forefinger and middle finger, he put his face into the palm of his hand, trying to calm his breathing, when a knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.
"Enter."
Looking up to see Dumbledore in the doorway, Severus maneuvered himself where his left ankle was resting on his right knee, leaning back into his chair, he took a couple more deep inhales before mushing the bud against the bottom of his boot. Flicking his wrist conjuring a bottle of Firewhiskey, and two tumblers. Pouring some into each of the glasses, he could feel Dumbledore watching his every move, than he spoke just above a whisper.
"So that was your son, Harry." Severus took the cup of whiskey, and downed the amber liquid in one gulp. He had no idea what to do or think, remembering what it was like seeing him as a baby under the circumstances, than seeing how much he looks like him and Lily. Emotions were running high but not as high as earlier; having blocked them out for so many years, he had become numb, so the emotions caused even more emotions and it put him into an anxiety attack.
"Right now Albus, I can't even think of that fact that he's my son when he was raised by Potter, than that muggle family. He should have been put in my custody, but because I was off protecting everyone…" He trailed off as he saw the guilt on his mentor's face.
Albus interrupted him, "Well Severus…the trials..."
Severus mulled over what his supposed friend told him, having refilled his tumbler, he took another swig of his whiskey, and stood abruptly from the chair.
"Are you fucking kidding me Albus, I know that it was Black that convinced you to let him take care of Harry." He spat the anxiety became too much and he needed to move, needing to pace the room, having to work off the anger, frustration and all the various other emotions that were coursing through his veins.
"Severus you were a known death eater. James elected Black as Harry's godfather." Pacing back and forth from his desk to the other side of his room, the only noise that echoed through the room was his boots clattering against the cobblestone floor that covered his office. Severus wanted another cigarette; his hands were fisted together as he stalked his sanctuary.
Noting that Albus was still in the room with him, he looked directly at the headmaster straight into his blue twinkling eyes, 'Merlin that damn twinkle is irritating' he thought, gritting his teeth, he could feel his jaw locking whispering in a malicious tone "I would like to be left the fuck alone."
Severus figured that yelling would not help anything, especially with the headmaster it was like talking to a brick wall sometimes with the old coot. Footsteps started to fade, hearing the door open and close, the headmaster was gone and he was alone. Midstride, dropping down to his knees feeling absolutely betrayed by all the people that told him he could trust them.
After all, of the years of blocking his emotions, becoming numb to the world around him, he never felt joy, happiness, sadness his feelings were void he just went along with what Albus told him to do. Waving his hand, the room was silenced, he than proceeded to roar until his throat was dry and his lungs were physically hurting, he felt tears streaming down his face. 'No, I refuse to be this weak. Not because of Potter.'
Growling at himself, he picked himself up off the ground, "No fuck this, fuck potter Albus can go to hell for all I care." Going over to his desk and grabbing ahold of the bottle of Firewhiskey, slipping from the classroom to his main quarters, he took a huge swig, and started to undress leaving a trail from his living room to his bedroom.
Laying in his four-poster bed that was covered in black silk sheets, reliving that night Lily had come to him repeatedly in his mind. Having taken a few more swigs of whiskey, he lay there in the darkness debating all the questions that have haunted him in the past years, debating whether or not that there was a way to have saved Lily, if he had just went straight to Godric's Hallow instead of going to the absent headmaster, than there was Harry. He knew the boy would have many questions when he told him, but he had no idea of how or when after all of these years.
Severus eventually fell into a fitful sleep haunted by his nightmares.
Hermione Granger was elated to be here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She lay in her bed in the girl's dormitory that she shared with four other girls, lavender, parvati, and two other girls that she did not know the names. Listening to the other girl's gossip about the school and some of their new classmates, having laid her head down on her pillow facing away from them, she thought about the day's events.
"Hermione we are so proud of you!" Her mother sobbed, as she hugged her for the umpteenth time that morning.
"You will do extraordinary there!" Her father fought back the tears that threatened to spill at any moment, hugging them both tightly again, and promising to come home during the Christmas holidays, she turned towards the enormous train taking a deep breath she climbed aboard. Finding an empty room, with a window to wave at her parents one more time before the train leaves the station.
Feeling the train lurch away she tried to see her parents until the last second, this would be the longest time away from them she had spent by herself.
Opening her book bag that she had carried everywhere with her, she pulled out, 'Hogwarts: A History.' She had already read it once, but she was not able to put the book down wanting to know as much as she could, she always did love to learn.
Within a few minutes of the trains departure a knock on the glass door, made her jump, a shy boy with shiny black hair, opened the door, "Do you mind if I sit with you?" He asked.
"Please come in." Watching as the boy sat down in front of her on the other side of the compartment.
"My name is Neville Longbottom." He stuttered out of nervousness.
"I'm Hermione Granger." She spoke knowingly, her curiousness had gotten the better of her, "Have you read Hogwarts: A History? It's fascinating."
The boy had ignored her question, but was patting his robe pockets down, as if he was looking for something.
"Have you lost something?"
Neville nodded his head quickly in a near panic, "Yes my toad Trevor he is missing."
Wanting to be helpful to her hopefully new friend, she spoke without hesitation, "I'll help you find him if you like?"
He gave a soft smile, "Thank you!"
They then began to look up and down the train, having asked each of the compartments they all told her they have not seen a toad. Almost giving up to go back to her compartment with her book, she saw one more compartment that held two boys, opening the door, she asked. "A boy named Neville lost his toad have you seen it?"
Realizing that the red haired boy was about to do some magic, she wanted to see for herself, sitting down in front of the raven haired boy, the other started to chant a spell that was supposed to turn his rat yellow. The spell did not work.
"I only know a few simple ones myself." Pulling out her wand, she pointed the tip directly at the raven-haired boy's glasses, "Occulus Reparo." Than a realization hit her when she noticed his scar, "Holy cricket your Harry Potter."
Than the ginger haired boy spoke up, "Names Ron Weasley."
Hermione nodded her head, "Pleasure, I expect that we will be arriving soon might want to change into your robes."
Leaving the two alone Hermione headed back to her compartment to retrieve her things, sitting back down on the bench looking out the window she could see the school coming into view, excitement taking her over. Questions started to reel in her mind; she was trying not to bounce up and down in her seat in excitement, taking deep calming breaths just as the train pulled to a stop.
Stepping out of her compartment, it was already filled with wall-to-wall students, filing out all at once of the train, when a man who was well over seven or eight feet tall started to bellow out, "First years over this way! Follow me!"
With a skip in her step, she followed the giant man, "Names Hagrid." His thunderous voice echoed over the group of first years as they walked towards the lake next to the school, she started to take in his appearance black scraggly hair atop his head and that covered his eyes, he had soft twinkling emerald eyes, and an ear-to-ear smile.
"Alright four students to a boat." Hermione clambered into one of the empty boats, as the shy boy came up to sit in her boat, as well as the boys named Ron and Harry. Hermione was taking in the breathtaking view of the school, when the sun started to sink under the mountains, the stars started to shine reflecting against the lake they were floating across, the school was coming into view, and each of the first years sat in awe at how colossal the school was.
Hermione's heart felt like it was going to pop out of her chest with joy, elation, and many other emotions. They reached the dock for the boat; she tripped out of the boat in anticipation of jumping out onto the landing of the dock, blushing deeply, Neville helped her up off the ground while the ginger haired boy named Ron snorted in laughter. Shooting him a glare, he zipped his mouth shut quickly, turning towards the giant man who was already waiting for them to gather around him so they could make their way up to the school as a group, and she glided over to him trying not to bounce from one foot to another in anticipation. She was ready to be part of this school to where she could learn all she wanted about magic.
Blanking out the fact that they all had to climb several flights of stairs to reach the entrance, she was in awe as Hagrid opened the doors to the school, the entry way was at least twenty five feet high, everything was lit by torches, and you could hear the chatter coming from the room up above them. 'Only two more flights of stairs, and then what?' She thought to herself, Hermione had no idea what was next 'A test perhaps, she would do fine if it were over the book she had been reading, but what if it was about magic?'
Attempting not to work herself up into a panic attack, she started to relay facts about Hogwarts in her head, finding that was the new trick to calm herself. Hagrid left them at the stairs, and a woman with chestnut and gray colored hair with an emerald colored pointed hat came out of the room where noise was illuminating from. She went over her speech about the houses that we would be sorted into and how they were like your family, breaking rules would lose your house points, while doing good things would earn you house points. Hermione felt like she was in a dream, 'Being rewarded for learning and knowing the answers.' She thought to herself, as the witch carried on, then left them for a few minutes.
A confrontation took place at the top of the steps between Harry and a blond hair boy named Draco Malfoy, Ron snorted once again, but was shut down quickly by Draco. They argued about knowing who they were becoming friends with, when the woman clad in emerald reappeared, and told them all to follow her. Stepping foot inside of the great hall, various things were trying to grab her attention, but the first thing she noticed were the candles that littered the ceiling of the room.
"It's supposed to look like the night sky." She mumbled under her breath knowingly, not really telling anyone just relaying facts to help her calm her anxiety, than scanning around the room there was so many students watching them, waiting to see which of them would be sorted into their house.
The next thing came into view was the sorting hat, than the head table where all of her professors were seated, wandering which of the professors taught which subjects, a man that dressed in black from head to toe caught her eye, her interest was piqued. Staring at the man, until she heard her name being called, mumbling to herself, "Okay relax."
Sitting on the stool in front of the entire school, the raggedy brown hat yelled out, "Gryffindor!"
A table that was covered in maroon and gold cheered ferociously, a huge smile upon her face, skipping off towards the table; a few patted her on the back and greeted her excitedly.
After the rest of the others were sorted the rest of the night was a blur, she was pretty sure she ended up in a food coma with the welcoming feast, because all she could remember was entering the common room than coming up to bed and now she is laying here drifting off into an gleeful sleep.
A throbbing, irritating headache occupied his head; he knew none of his potions wouldn't work since this was self-induced. Severus lay in his bed, fighting the world that was spinning around him, as the sun started to rise, he raised with the sun pushing himself off his bed wobbling on his feet for a second, grabbing a hold of one of the four posters on his bed for support, he felt slightly dizzy "Damn, how much did I drink?"
Looking at the half-empty bottle that lay fallen on the side of his bed. "Right." Was all he whispered, as he ignored the throbbing in his brain, pushing himself to wobble to the bathroom, instead of turning on any bright torches; he decided to light a couple small candles.
Stepping inside of the tub, turning the faucets on he laid his head against the frigid cobblestone wall, as the blistering hot water fell upon his back feeling the hangover turn his stomach at any thought of food. Severus was thinking about the night's events, groaning in the shower, "Fuck, Albus is going to give me another fucking lecture. Treating me like a damn child."
Opening his eyes for a split second to see that his fingers were starting to shrivel up and began to look like prunes, quickly washing his hair and body, he extricated himself from the shower. Turning the water off, he saw that Naelby had already set out his clothes for the day, noting that the elf would be receiving some piece of clothing for Christmas. Dressing slowly, attempting not to make many sudden or loud sounds, as it made his head pound harder he was finally dressed after a good ten minutes.
His white silk button down was buttoned up until the last two buttons around his neck and tucked into his trousers, he had slipped his frock coat on, but refused to button it as of yet. As he was leaving his personal quarters for the great hall, he left his frock coat buttons undone, Severus stalked his way out of the dungeons, and the click of his work boots was the only sound that reverbed against the cobblestones and into his ears. Making sure to keep to the shadows since any bright light made his head throb to no avail. Having taken many shortcuts to the great hall, arriving before anyone else, he always attempted to eat breakfast before anybody else showed up.
However, the elves had strict instructions from the headmaster not to serve him before students, himself, or other professors started to arrive. 'That man is trying to make me sociable apparently he has no fucking idea who I am.' Severus thought to himself, taking a step at a time, he managed to seat himself upon his chair, when Naelby his house elf popped into the room appearing next to him.
"Master Snape, breakfast won't be ready for another half hour or so, but I can bring you some coffee." Severus nodded his thanks, pulling out a book that he has been doing research with about a certain potion ingredient that was conferred about at the last potions conference.
Within a couple of seconds of the elf disappearing, a hot coffee mug was set in front of him, Severus' fingers instantly wrapped around the hot mug and began sipping on the coffee, feeling the searing hot liquid slide down his throat feeling the pain move from his head to his throat. Having been enjoying the quietness of the school until he heard the first few students meddling around in the entrance hall.
Glancing up he saw a few Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors wandering around the tables to find the good seats. Severus watched from the corner of his eye as some more of the student population started to swarm the hall and he thought to himself, 'Why the hell are they all talking in booming tones?' Some of them looked his way, never daring to make eye contact paid no attention that they are seeing the bat of the dungeons with his infamous frock coat unbuttoned.
More students started to gather in at their tables; Severus checked his pocket watch when breakfast finally appeared after the allotted time passed. The food appeared in front of him, he ignored most of the other professors that had appeared and greeted him mostly a grunt of acknowledgment would suffice for most of them.
Piling some eggs, bacon and toast onto his plate, he started to dig into his food when his hangover reminded him that it was a bad idea. Severus was in between eating and reading taking small bites of his breakfast so that the alcohol in his system would be absorbed and that he would not be physically ill in public. Trying to keep his gaze on the words of his book, eventually after several minutes, he worked out the Latin word that had him stuck for the past couple of days, an interruption of a voice made a growl slip from his throat.
"Good morning Severus. No need to growl at me." He need not look up from his book to know who it was, but grunted in acknowledgement, "Talkative as always dear boy." McGonagall's thick Scottish brogue resonated through his ears into his throbbing head, which made him want to find a dark corner, curl up, smoke a cigarette and go back to bed.
Severus' cringed when he heard the grinding of the chair scrapping across the floor as the woman sat down on his right, when he heard her pipe up again "Early as ever, Severus?"
Another grunt of acknowledgement with a nod, shutting his book knowing that his research for the time being is suspended and he tried to finish his breakfast concentrating on potion ingredients instead of his churning stomach.
Minerva broke Severus out of his listing, "Severus, did you see Lily's son last night?" Gripping his fork at the mention of Lily's name until his knuckles turned white, he had not heard her name in over a good four years or so.
"Yes." Severus could not say her name now, nor could he put any emotion into the words that he spoke. His walls were officially back up. Leaning back in his chair crossing his left leg so that his ankle rested on his right knee, eyeing each of the new students, making sure the message of fear was sent, he took his book out once more.
Severus' fingers twitched at the thought of a cigarette 'However, I need to stay in the great hall until the headmaster shows, so that I could say that I actually showed my face at breakfast.' Coos announced the morning owls swooping in, hooting as they dropped letters and packages in front of the students.
Dumbledore entered the hall without anyone taking much notice; however, the headmaster took notice of his professors that he employed seeing them all up to code except for Severus. He signed inwardly, 'That boy will learn.'
Gliding up behind the tall man, he whispered close to Severus' ear, "My boy your frock coat is undone." Severus growled, knowing that Albus had a masters' in passive aggressiveness. Albus had sat down without anyone else noticing, piping up with the daily prophet in hand and gossiping with the other professors.
Before Albus could share more of his passive aggressiveness babbles, Severus rose from his seat, his seat scrapping against the wooden floor, internally cringing and ignoring the screech that resonated and pulling the schedules from his pocket out; luckily, for him most of his students were seated and eating breakfast at the Slytherin table to pass out the schedules.
Stalking over to the Slytherin table, with his robes swishing behind him, his frock coat still not buttoned. 'That will show the old man that I'm not one of his children.' Severus thought as he noticed the older students and he handed them their schedules first, then went through the years counting down from the seventh year.
Calling out each of the names of the first years they either raised their hand and he handed them their schedules and he was able to memorize the faces or they had not arrived to the great hall yet, reaching his godson's name, "Ahh Draco I hope your father is well." He nodded, handing the blond haired boy his schedule.
Draco spoke with pride in his voice and a smirk on his face, "Yes he is doing quite well at the Ministry. He hopes to see you at Christmas for the annual ball."
Severus grew his own smirk; he has not attended a ball in years and the only time he ever left Hogwarts was either when he went traveling for a potions conference or collecting a specific ingredient that was not available near him.
Continuing to hand out schedules, as the other heads of houses started, he started to see the same names repeatedly. There were about ten left, walking to the end of the table near the entrance, setting them down for those entering could see them and he decided to leave the great hall and head down to the dungeons to get everything ready for the first class of the day.
A split class of Gryffindor and Slytherin first years was the first class of the day, 'Those are always fun' Severus' thought, he just hoped that some of the students were competent in making potions or just writing essays.
Striding towards the dungeons buttoning up his frock coat, he went through his mental state, and Severus realized that his son was going to be in the first class of the day. Stopping dead in his tracks at the base of the stairs, "Damn."
Listening to his baritone voice echo through the empty stairwell taking each of the stairs one by one briskly, he slipped down into where his classroom laid, seeing the small bushy brown haired girl sitting next to the room out of the corner of his eye, he entered his classroom.
There was a secret entrance into his personal quarters from behind his desk, pushing on the false wall that was hidden behind a movable bookcase; he slipped into his rooms, which led him into his living room. Stalking over to his desk, pulling the key out of his pocket, taking the pack of cigarettes that he kept on hand, took one out and clicked his fingers and the end sparked to life. Taking a deep drag, he could feel the edginess slipping away from him, and the throbbing eased just slightly. Flicking the cigarette in his forefinger and middle finger and the end crumbled away to the ground, taking another deep drag closing his eyes to enjoy the inhalation of nicotine. "Damn haven't done this in a decade."
Severus slipped the pack in his pocket not having the time to put it back into his desk, hearing students chattering excitedly about their first potions lesson about what they were going to learn what they were most excited to learn, etc... 'They are going to have a hard seven years here' Severus sighed as he squashed the bud on the cobblestone wall; he then left his personal quarters from the main door so that he could scare the dunderheaded students with his annual speech.
Checking to make sure that his frock coat and his cuffs were buttoned, casting a charm to make the smoke smell disappear from his clothes. He did not need a student to complain too loudly in the halls or to other professors or he would never hear the end of it. Hearing the chatter fade into silence; a smirk crossed his lips as he was standing outside his classroom. Taking a deep calming breath, shoving the door open with enough force for it to bang against the wall to slam itself shut after he stalked inside the room, the vast silence could be cut with a knife.
Giving his annual speech, gazing over all the students attempting not to make eye contact with Harry. When he allowed himself one glance he saw that Harry was not paying much attention to what he was saying, rolling his eyes Harry needed to know the information that the others were absorbing.
"Or some of us came to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel comfortable enough to not pay attention." The bushy brown haired girl that sat next to him elbowed his son in the ribs, Harry finally looked up from his parchment.
"Ah Mister Potter, Our. New. Celebrity." Gritting his teeth Severus' jaw went rigid his boy will know proper manners reminding himself from where he came from and the fact that he had been living with those muggles that treated him like dirt on the bottom of their narcissistic loafers he could and would only allow so much leniency.
Tactically thinking about questions that he knew that Harry had no idea what the answers were, and make him actually pay attention to what he was speaking. "Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?" Severus quirked his eyebrow, with a sneer upon his face, his answer made him smirk "I don't know sir."
The bushy almond brown hair girl had shot her hand into the air wiggling her fingers in anticipation of the question, ignoring her; he has asked another question, "What is the difference Potter between monkshood and wolfsbane?"
His son looked down towards his parchment, than over to the girl's quivering hand, "I don't know sir but I think Hermione knows, why don't you try her?"
A collective gasp was taken, since his boy had no idea who he was he felt the courage to speak out against him, the rest of the class knew or had siblings that he had already taught.
An exasperated sigh left his lips, rolling his eyes "Put your hand down you silly girl." Severus snapped knowing that the remaining alcohol in his system was not helping the agitation that was growing inside of him.
Pulling out one of the empty chairs that he always had extra in the corner in case a dunderheaded student blew one up, setting himself down in front of the boy, and growling Harry the answers, peeking between the curtains of hair that covered the sides of his face, he saw that the students were gawking at the spectacle.
Speaking in a commanding booming voice, "Well, why aren't you all writing this down?" His baritone voice echoed through the classroom.
The only sound was the scratching of quills against parchment, Severus strode back to his desk, turning the chair around and putting it back in the corner of the classroom, elegantly plopping himself down in his chair at his desk.
"Five points from Gryffindor, for students cheek." Looking up once more at Harry to see that his son was glaring at him, Severus waved his hand as the chalk from the chalkboard started to write down the day's instructions, he also finished writing down why Harry lost points for his house.
"I want all of you to copy down the rules, and the ingredients shown here. In addition, to what potion's that the ingredients are used in, and for your homework, I want you all to write a three foot long essay about which of those potions you want to learn about." Watching each of the first years scribbling fiercely as the intimidation of knowing whom the bat of the dungeons was set in.
Severus glanced around the room watching the students do their work; however, he could see that Harry was murmuring under his breath to the red haired boy who was the youngest weasley boy at the school. Most likely gossiping about him, 'Well I'm sure everyone here has been treating you like royalty, my boy, however, as you are my son, you will not just fly through school like James did, you will learn and have proper manners.' Severus thought to himself, making sure to glare at a couple of the other students who dared to grace him with a glance or stare.
As the bell rang for the dismissal of class, "Turn in your work, Class is dismissed." Severus announced as everyone packed up to leave in a hurry knowing the quicker they get out of his classroom the less likely he would bark at them.
Severus noticed that his son and weasley were walking out of the classroom together, complaining about 'the greasy git', sighing 'At least he is a Weasley', admitting to himself, he was glad that Harry fell in with a kind hearted crowd Merlin knows he needs that.
However, Severus knew that he had to keep disciplining Harry, 'I know his situation with the muggles was horrendous but that does not excuse him when he comes to this school and is treated like high royalty, he will have manners.' Severus thought to himself, as he started to grade the first years papers sighing at some of the grammar that they used. 'Even if Harry ended up hating my guts.'
Then there was something about the bushy haired Gryffindor, she was the last to leave his room, taking care to make sure she had all of her things, he always enjoyed figuring out who would be the ones not to waste his time or attention in the coming years and it seemed like she would be one of those students. There was a reason she lingered behind the rest of her classmates; apparently, it was to question him to death. She had grabbed her bag, turned towards him and walked up to his desk, on arrival he had begun writing out a letter to one of the apothecary's he knew to persuade them into giving him a better deal on certain ingredients, when she coughed her acknowledgment she began to ask certain questions that pertained to the actual homework assignment.
Never looking up from the letter, answering her questions with one-worded syllables. He had to admit that it was refreshing for a change to see a student actually interested in learning, and not just skirt by his class. He would have to keep his eye on Miss Hermione Granger.
Hermione awoke eager as ever to attend her first day of classes. Waking before dawn, she had first dibs on the bathroom, taking a quick shower to attempt to tame her wild bushy hair, she dressed briskly than sat upon her bed trying to decided which book to carry with her for the duration of the day for enjoyment. Her choices included charms, potions, and transfiguration those piqued her interest more than the others did.
Hearing the birds chirping as the sun rose over the mountains, she decided to pick the potions book, noticing that some of the other girls started to wake Hermione decided to leave the girls dormitory and head down to the common room to wait. However, as she reached the bottom of the steps she decided to leave early to the great hall so in case she got lost she would have plenty of time to find where she needed to go, also she felt awkward around all the other students, all the first years have at least made one friend, except her.
Having taken seven flights of stairs down to the main foyer of the school off to the right she assumed were the stairs that led down to the dungeons and to the left was the great hall. "Ahh finally."
She sighed with relief feeling a heavy burden leaving her, being nervous about where to go and not having anyone else to be lost with was heightening her anxiety, but stating Hogwarts facts in her head always helped. Pushing upon the ginormous oak door it opened easily, Hermione noticed several things all at once, and one there was only a handful of other students in the great hall, two the only professor was the one that was dressed black, except his coat that he was wearing was unbuttoned. Taking in the sight, she would never know how rare the sight would be, plopping herself down in the middle of the Gryffindor table, pulling out her potions book and began reading waiting for breakfast to be served.
Leaving breakfast after her head of house, which was the woman that was clad in emerald named professor McGonagall, passed out the schedules, she smiled broadly and glanced at her entire schedule, seeing that her first class was a double potions, lunch, transfiguration, than charms at least that was it for the day.
Grabbing her things, she left the great hall, and steered towards the staircase that she believed that led down to the dungeons, taking each of the stairs down as she got lower in the school it became chillier the wind howled through the dungeons like one of the school's ghost. She shivered as a cold tingle went through her spine. Wondering if she reached her destination, looking around to find that there were three doors on each side of this corridor, and a creepier gargoyle down the hall-taking note that there was a bench outside the first door on the left. She decided that it was best to sit and wait, pulling out her book once again, and continuing where she last left off, her saddle shoes firmly planted on the ground.
After several minutes of silence, a clicking of boots on cobblestone broke her concentration, as she looked up to see that the man attired in black was striding towards the door to her left buttoning up his coat. He took no notice to her, as he entered the room; a sigh of relief escaped her lips knowing that she was in the right place, and that she had figured out what subject he taught.
More students came milling down the staircase as they gathered around the door, when the blond haired boy whose name slipped her mind now, pushed his way into the room all of the students followed suit behind him.
Closing her book, she pushed herself of the bench and was the last one in the room, spotting a seat in the second row next to Harry; she went and settled herself down. Looking around the room, the professor was not in the room, but she saw him enter. 'However, he probably has some ward or false back that led to his personal rooms' she thought to herself, as a thunderous boom echoed through the classroom hearing the dungeon door hit the wall and bounced closed.
The man introduced himself as Professor Snape as he strode into the room his robes were swishing behind him; he crossed his arms as he spoke with authority as he introduced them into what they would be learning for the semester. The entire class was fear stricken all of those that were chattering loudly, had zipped their mouths shut and slipped down into their seats, knowing that he was not to be spoken back to unless asked.
Hermione was attentive when he spoke, when the professor asked Harry a question, but he was not paying attention, turning her head, she jabbed him in the ribs to get his attention. "Ow wh…" He whispered to her, she flicked her head over to the professor.
The professor asked Harry another question, and without hesitation, she raised her hand, elated to answer a question that she knew.
However, her professor ignored her and snapped at her to lower her hand. Pouting slightly and trying not huff aloud because she wanted to answer the question when Harry talked back to him saying that I knew the answer and why he did not ask me. Hermione was a little astounded that Harry even remembered her name, but the professor was not in a good mood as he deducted points from Gryffindor on the first day in the first class of the day.
They were now supposed to be writing down the class assignment and their homework. Giddiness flooded her as she received her first homework assignment, opening her already creased potions book; she scanned for each of the ingredients writing them down, what they were used for, and the potions that they were used in.
Losing track of time the class was almost finished when she had completed the work she quickly wrote down what her homework was and started to pack her things away, the bell rang and students quickly darted out of the classroom not bothering to pack their things.
Waiting behind she heard the two boys start complaining about the professor, apparently, Ron's older brothers hated Snape, and Hermione did not find the professor that bad. She waited around until everyone else left the room, gulping down her fear she pushed herself towards the desk that he was sitting at, coughing so that he knew she was there, he raised an eyebrow at her, however he never looked up at her he continued to write, and she asked several questions about the homework.
Whether it was all right if she listed more than one potion she was interested learning about, if she needed to list the ingredients that would go into said potion, etc. Grunting out either a yes or a no for each of the questions, when she was satisfied with the information, she bid him good day and left the room with a skip in her step.
As the day progressed, he still could not get the fact out of his head that his son was arrogant, just like James. Snapping at the rest of the students for the remainder of the day and that was through lunch, and then two more classes.
The end of the day arrived in the nick of time, since most returning students had summer homework he waited for them to turn it in at the beginning of their class, and had them brew an easy potion for the first day a headache relief one.
However, some of his third years could not even complete that simple task and a few of them actually exploded their cauldrons, he was not completely sure how, but knowing that it was useless to dwell on the matters.
As the students finally left his presence, knowing that he had the rest of the night to dwell on matters of person, Severus decided to skip dinner and grade some of the summer papers that were turned in today. Having a good feeling that if he faced the entire student body, right now he would probably lose his shit and knowing that the other professors would not like the fact that he most likely still smelled like nicotine, and the fact that after his classes he took a shot of whiskey.
Pulling out the pack that he had in his inner pocket of his frock coat, checking to see that he only had a couple of cigarettes left, pulling one out and lit it with a snap of his fingers, holding the bud once more in between his forefinger and middle finger, he continued to grade.
Hearing his stomach growling he needed to eat to completely get rid of this headache, calling for Naelby he appeared within a pop, "Yes master Snape how many Naelby serve you?" the little elf bowed his head while his ears flipped down.
"Naelby will you bring me a plate of dinner and if the headmaster asks why I did not attend tell him I'm busy grading papers." The elf nodded in understanding another pop and he disappeared, Severus squeezed his eyes shut rubbing his temples, taking a couple puffs from the cigarette that occupied his fingers. Flicking the burnt end of the cigarette into a bowl that he had on his desk, Naelby returned with a plate of food and a cup of coffee and water.
"Not sure what master wanted to drink so I brought you what you drink for breakfast or other times." The elf sounded proud that he remembered his drinks, a genuine smile upon his face as he thanked Naelby, the elf bowed and left with a pop, than silence until a voice broke his peacefulness that he was enjoying after a frustrating day.
"How are you Severus?" Accioing the bottle of Firewhiskey that was laying on his bedroom floor, which now had a quarter missing from it, he took several sips from the glass of water.
"What the fuck do you think Albus?" Not even bothering with a glass at this point, taking bites of his mashed potatoes, and taking a couple of deep swigs from the bottle.
"He looks like you Severus and Lily." Severus' jaw went rigid, that was the last of his temper throwing the bottle across the room into the fireplace where the amber liquid was licked by the flaming fire, feeling anger and irritation flow through him.
"She never told me Albus, she was never going to tell me. " Looking up with a fire in his eyes, that even made the headmaster take a step backwards, "And this is your entire fucking fault, you never backed me into getting custody of Harry. I tried for years, but you had other plans for me, and never let me enjoy my fucking life with my fucking kid!" His throat burned from the whiskey and the dryness of yelling, "Now I have no idea if my son would ever want to know me…" Severus whispered the last sentence trailing off into silence, realizing that the word son still gave him a slight panic attack.
"Severus…"Albus' voice dripped with the emotion of guilt, trying to comfort the man that was like his own son.
"Get the fuck out Albus I can't fucking do this right now!" Severus stood abruptly from his seat, making the chair screech as it skid across the floor, as he gripped ahold of the edge of his desk. Albus looked into the man in front of him, how much pain he was in, seeing that his eyes were not his normal caramel color but blacker than the abyss of the deepest valley in the ocean.
Taken aback a bit "Alright Severus, if you need anything let me know. We are all here for you." Albus quietly left the room, for the man to suffer in agony alone.
Severus scoffed "Bullshit." In return, of what Albus spoke to him, 'None of them were there for him or they would have helped him gain custody of Harry instead of accusing him of being a death eater and a traitor' He thought to himself.
Running his fingers through his charcoal hair, knowing he needed to work out this agitation, he dropped down to the floor and did pushups until his biceps burned, and his lungs felt like they were going to explode. Breathing heavily, he laid on his back on the frigid cobblestone flooring, looking up at the ceiling whispering into the nothingness of the room, "I am so sorry Harry I tired I did I hope you understand this when I tell you."
Hermione's classes were finished; an enormous smile imprinted on her lips as she had three classes worth of homework to do for the evening.
As she gathered her things after the last class, she had just enough time to put her things away in the dormitory before dinner was served, than she would work on her homework for a couple of hours before she called it for the evening.
Having climbed four flights of stairs that moved was frustrating since she was trying to make it before dinner started, whenever the stairs were aligned she dashed up the flights finding that a couple of them had a fake stair and her foot would fall through. Huffing in irritation, she pushed herself up and continued her journey until she reached the Gryffindor portrait panting the password.
Entering the common room there was a handful of students milling around, pushing past some of the older students towards the girls dormitory, she threw her stuff onto her bed, and left the room to make her way down the stairs to make it in time for dinner.
Dinner was quite boring, Neville sat next to her but did not really speak, Ron and Harry kept mostly to themselves, and she had her potions book. Fascinated by some of the ingredients she was curious about their pronunciation, reminding herself that the next time she saw professor Snape to ask him, she thought about maybe asking after dinner but he was nowhere to be seen.
Having loaded a plethora amount of food onto her plate after her first day, she rewarded herself after all of the calories and carbs she burned. Hermione concentrated on the book, blocking out all of the outer world noise, while taking bites from her plate, until she saw movement out of the corners of her eyes that people were leaving back to the dorms.
Finishing the last few spoonfuls of food, she continued to read as she left the hall debating whether to run down to professor Snape's office for confirmation of how to pronounce this word. 'I'll wait till the next class, if he did not come dinner he probably is doing other things.' Hermione thought to herself, as one of the other Gryffindors nudged her enough to drop her book.
"Know it all." The older student teased, than a couple of the students in her year but not her house started to call her that.
Picking up her book, she walked with her head held high ascending the steps as they were all behind her, pacing herself, chanting to herself that this was a place of knowledge.
Infiltrating the common room, there were cliques of students all over the room doing their homework helping each other, Hermione scaled the stairs up to her bed, closing the curtains around her four-poster bed, she cried into her pillow.
She was hoping that coming here would stop the bullying that she endured at her muggle school because she always had her nose in a book and would rather read than talk in the middle of class.