NOTE: Read the explanation below before jumping into the story. It won't make sense if you don't. The story was written loosely off an idea I just randomly came up with.
So the overlying basis is that some shit happens to Sanji and his soul gets attached to a cursed sword. While tethered to the sword, Sanji can only appear in physical form so long as no one other than him touches it. He can set it down and walk away and he'll be fine, but the moment someone else touches it he gets sucked back into the sword until they put it down.
Also, the sword was nameless until Sanji got tethered to it, so the guy who tethered Sanji to the sword named it 悲しい惨事 - which means 'sorrowful disaster'. 悲しい (sorrowful) is read as 'Kanashī' and 惨事 (disaster) is read as 'Sanji'.
So you see, the name is kind of a play on words. It basically pokes fun at Sanji…
Anyway, that's the basic plot to this. Go ahead and read the ZoSan fluff now.
/+++\
To say it was a nice day out was an understatement.
The sun was shining brilliantly and high in the afternoon sky. The clouds that lay floating in the vast blue above were far and few, each of them relatively small and quite fluffy. There was a nice breeze from the ocean wafting in over the island as the tide slowly began to roll in.
Yes, it was a beautiful day out. In fact, to the green haired swordsman, it was perfect. Especially now that the cook wasn't bothering him anymore.
The fact that the blond was stuck with the stupid curse was, for the most part, a definite annoyance; that much was certain. After all, if anyone other than the cook himself so much as even bumped the sword, the cook would get sucked right back into it.
But the curse had its upsides. Like right now for example.
Only mere moments ago, the damn dartboard-brow had been nagging the swordsman like crazy, saying he'd "gotten them lost." Tch, yeah right.
After arguing for a minute or two, Zoro finally snapped and had quickly wrapped his hand around the hilt of 'Kanashī Sanji' - the damned cursed blade the cook was tethered too. In the same instant he'd pulled the blade from its sheath, Sanji was immediately sucked into it. And with that, the cook had shut up; which was actually a tad bit surprising.
Zoro was more than capable of hearing Sanji's voice from within the sword even though no one else could - it was perk (and in this case, somewhat a curse) of being the skilled swordsman he was.
But if that was the case, why had the blond suddenly become so quiet? The only logical assumption the first mate could muster up was that the cook must be silently fuming at him. Sanji had told him time and time again to NOT do what he just did.
None of that really mattered to Zoro at the moment though. Upon seeing the breathtaking view of the shore as he left the trees of the forest (in which he had most definitely NOT gotten lost), all he cared about was sitting down in the shade and enjoying the view.
He found a nice, soft patch of thick grass right by the trunk of a tall tree at the edge of the beach and placed Kanashī Sanji alongside his three swords so that it was sturdily hanging from his waist just like Wadō, Kitetsu, and Shūsui were. So long as he had the sword close, he knew Sanji wouldn't be popping out to yell at him anytime soon, so once he knew it was secure he casually plopped down into the comforting shade without a single care.
After watching the waves splash against the sandy beach not too far away from him for a while, the swordsman leaned back against the tree; his lone functioning eyelid slowly sliding shut in relaxation as he let out a content sigh.
"Would you stop that!"
Zoro immediately snapped his eye back open and sat up straight once again, his gaze snapping to the black and blue blade sheathed at his side with a puzzled expression on his face.
"... Stop what?"
To anyone that could've passed by, they would most definitely have thought the green haired man was insane and talking to himself, but the reality was that they just weren't capable or perceptive enough to hear the blond's voice from within the cursed blade.
"That damn petting shit!"
Raising a brow in question, Zoro glanced at his right hand and where it was resting. It appeared he'd been absent mindedly running his thumb up and down the hilt of Sanji's sword, something he actually tended to do quite frequently with all his swords actually.
Realizing that such a trifling thing was the issue, the swordsman rolled his eye in irritation. "Get your panties out of a knot cook. It's just a habit I have."
"I don't give a rat's ass if it's some stupid habit of yours!" For a second, Zoro could feel the heat of the cooks frustration radiating off the blade. "It feels weird!"
At this, the first mate paused. It felt weird? Wait... "You were actually able to feel that?"
An exasperated sigh. "No shit. Why else would I complain about it."
Silence followed for several seconds before Zoro spoke again; and when he did, he sounded very... Intrigued...
"So how exactly did it feel 'weird'?"
There was hesitation at first, and that there was more than enough to make the swordsman smirk knowingly. "It... It just..." There was a pause, and even a slight stutter as he continued. "I- I just don't like being petted like some dog!"
So that was it.
"Oh, I get it." The swordsman rested his elbow against is knee and placed his chin in his palm, feigning disinterest as he did so. "So it felt really good then."
"Wha- No it didn't-!"
All of the blond's protests died as Zoro once again proceeded to rub the hilt of the sword with his thumb. After a few seconds of this, a small, content almost purr like noise came from the blade.
This resulted in a deep throated chuckle escaping the moss-haired man. "See, you do like it."
The only response he received was a barely audible mumble. "Shitty Marimo..."
A minute or two of complete and silence passed after that. Zoro was purely content with simply watching the tide roll in as his thumb continued rubbing the hilt of the black and blue blade, and the cook finally seemed content with letting him.
Eventually though, someone had to break the silence, and it seemed Sanji had decided it to be his job to do so.
"Not that this isn't nice and all..." He sighed, most likely due to being annoyed with himself for having admitted that. "But if you're going to be running your hands through my hair, I'd rather you were... You know, actually doing it..."
Zoro paused in his ministrations at that. Being stuck in a sword versus actual physical contact? He supposed he could understand where the blond was coming from on that. He was actually starting to grow tired of the barrier between them himself - he'd rather be holding the actual cook then simply caressing the handle of the sword he was encased in.
Without even replying to the other man, the first mate slipped the cursed sword out from the tie around his waist and gently tossed it a few feet away; thus giving plenty of room to the cook for what he was about to do.
Blue-grey smoke began pouring out from the navy blue sheath and around the golden hilt as soon as it hit the ground. It took a few seconds, but eventually the smoke stopped seeping from the sheathed blade and the smoke began to concentrate and increase in density, taking the shape of the blond chef as it did so. A mere ten more seconds, and the smoke finally turned into Sanji's actual body; blood, flesh and all.
"Can't you do that any faster?"
Sanji immediately leveled a glare at the swordsman for that comment, but it seemed he didn't feel like arguing at the moment as he chose to just shake his head and shrug it off, climbing into the other man's lap as he did so.
Zoro of course allowed this; he wasn't one to deny the other cuddling considering it was usually the blond denying him of just that.
As soon as the cook got himself into a comfy position, he glanced up at the swordsman only for his smile to turn into a frown. "Oi, I'm right here Marimo." He poked the darker man's cheek, having noticed he was staring at the cursed sword off to the side rather than him.
Grabbing the blond's hand and sparing him a glance, Zoro sighed and leaned forward to rest his forehead on the Sanji's shoulder.
"I'll find a way to remove that curse."
The cook's entire expression softened at that and his small smile returned to his lips as he placed his free hand on the back of Zoro's tanned neck; humming all the while as he turned to bury his face in the man's coarse green hair.
"I know you will..."