Chapter 2: Pip, Pee Wee, and Holly
The Bishop Gnaeus Germanius' company had been traveling for many weeks to make it to the Hadrian's Wall. The Bishop himself was on a horse dressed as a Roman soldier, to hid his true identity from the enemy, when one of the soldiers who had been scouting came riding up to him. "My Lord," the officer bowed.
"Yes, what is it?"
"While I was scouting I found four young women lying unconscious on the ground. Their type of garb was unlike anything I have ever seen."
"Very well, lead me too them."
The officer and the Bishop robe over to where Haileen, Louise, Ann, and Nicole were lying on the grass. The Bishop dismounted his horse and looked over the girls one by one.
"My lord. They may be British rebels. I heard that their kind roam these lands."
"No," he replied, "They are too clean. And two of them wear crosses that represent the crucifixion of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." Sure enough both Nicole and Haileen had on cross necklaces. They mostly wore out of habit.
Louise was the first to awake and find a man hovering over her body. "Get away from me you fucking bastard," she screamed shoving the Bishop away. Her yelling woke up the rest and soon all the girls were sitting up in shock at their surroundings.
"Where are we?" Nicole asked.
"And when are we?" Ann also wondered out loud.
"I don't know," Louise said, "I woke up and found that guy over there ready to rape me." She pointed at the Bishop as she said this.
"That's just rude and gross," Ann glared at the man.
"Not to mention illegal," Nicole added.
The Bishop stood and looked hard at the girls. "Ladies," he stated proudly, "I am a solider in the company of Bishop Gnaeus Germanius."
"No you're not," Ann realized suddenly, "You are the Bishop."
The others looked hard at the stranger.
"Shit, you are the Bishop," Louise stared. The girls had recognized him from the movie.
"Who are you and how do you know this?" the officer asked them. The girls looked at each other in fear. What are they suppose to say, 'Well we're from the future, and recognize you from what we call a movie. We won't explain what a movie is, because you'll just accuse us of witchcraft and burn us to the stake.' No, they decided not to go to that path of explanation. So they did what they usually did when they were in trouble; look to the oldest to make up an excuse.
"Well," Haileen answered, standing up and motioning the others to do the same, "My name is Haileen and these are my friends Louise, Nicole, and Ann." Each girl clumsily tried to curtsy when she was introduced, and Louise apologized under her breath for pushing the Bishop. Really she wasn't sorry. All the girls thought the Bishop was ugly and a jerk for putting the Knights on that last mission that got most of them killed.
"So Lady Haileen," the Bishop asked, "How do you know that I am really Bishop Germanius?"
Choosing to ignore the 'Lady' part of his question, Haileen quickly thought up a response, "Well my lord Bishop, my friends and I have seen you before. We visit Rome often, and have had the honor of seeing you talk with the Pope."
Haileen's friends smiled at her cleverness when they noticed she was able to slip in a complement with her answer.
Bishop Germanius lifted his chin pompously, "Yes well I do speak with his Eminence often so it is to be excepted. But if you are Romans how did you end up unconscious in Britain?"
Nicole noticed Haileen was at a lost of words, so she decided it was time to put the 'little lost puppy' act into play.
"Oh my lord," Nicole whimpered, "It was so awful. We had decided to tour the Roman Empire, and our caravan was traveling near these woods when we were suddenly attacked. My friends and I got knocked out before we could see who the culprits were. It's truly by the grace of God that none of us were harmed or kidnapped." She looked to her friends and pretty soon all four girls were crying softly and hugging each other for support.
Thankfully the Bishop was dim enough to buy their story so he stepped in as the gallant hero and offered the girls his services. "You may travel with my company," he said, "I have an extra carriage that you may ride in and there should be some proper gowns for you to change into."
He led the girls out of the woods, but as soon as he walked far enough away Louise and Ann turned to Nicole and Haileen and whispered simultaneously, "I-refuse-to-wear-a-dress!"
"We don't have a choice," Haileen shot back, "If we get on this guy's bad side then it's"
She moved her figure across her throat making the 'death' sign. Louise and Ann gave a huff and the four headed to the group of Romans.
The girls were introduced to the Bishops secretary Horton, seeming to forever have a stick up his arse, who the girls named Holly. They also now called the Bishop 'Pip' and the Bishop's stunt double 'Pee Wee'. After that the girls were given Roman style gowns. Nicole's was a deep blue. Haileen's a creamy gold. Louise's gown was pink, while Ann's was light green. Holly offered to take their other clothes, but they disinclined. They knew he would probably just throw them out or burn them.
"So Pip where are we off too?" Ann asked out the carriage window. Pee Wee had offered his carriage, but since the girls knew that his untimely end was coming soon they decided it would be better for them to go in the other one.
Ignoring the nickname the Bishop answered, "We are going to Hadrian's Wall milady. There we will meet Arthur Castus, the commander of this pathetic outpost. He also leads a band of quite uncivilized Sarmatian warriors."
Louise, Nicole, and Haileen had to restrain their friend from punching the Bishop for calling the Knights uncivilized.
The next three days were the most boring the girls had ever had. They were forced to listen to Pip tell of his glory days as a Roman Commander, and his boasting of how he was really a good friend of 'the Pope himself'. To escape this hell they tried walking outside of the carriage, but were followed all the time by lustful looks from most of the guards. So they ended up being confined to the carriage and to their own company, which they preferred anyway.
By the third day they had conversed and decided on three things: 1) Phantom of the Opera is the best musical ever created (Duh, that's kind of a given) 2) They all had to shower and get out of these dresses as soon as possible 3) All four agreed that until they saw great need too, none of them would reveal that they knew the future events that would soon take place, or tell the small fact that they weren't even from this century.
"Do you think we'll be able to tell Arthur," Nicole wondered.
"We don't even know if Arthur is going to show," Louise answered.
"Shut up Louise, of course he's going to show," Ann exclaimed.
"Don't tell me to shut up!"
"Well would you start being more optimistic, pretty please?"
"Oh I'm sorry Ann," Louise apologized with dripping sarcasm, "Next time we time travel I'll be sure to put on a happy face 24/7. Maybe after this we'll end up in the movie 'American Outlaws' and meet the Colin Farrell version of Jesse James."
Ann and Louise had been friends the longest out of this group so they were less like girlfriends and more often like arguing siblings. They both continued this banter while Nicole and Haileen looked out the window. Once again their ignorance caused them to miss the big picture and none of the girls noticed a blue woad leader known as Merlin giving his warriors commands on attacking the Bishop's caravan.
(AN: When Merlin or any woad is talking and it is in italics that means they are speaking in their native tongue.)
"Kill everyone of the Roman strangers," Merlin commanded, "But not the women that travel with them. They are of great importance."
"So we are not to harm them," a woad asked confused.
"No. None of you are to bring even a scratch to their bodies, but make sure at least one of these women is brought before me," he replied sternly. His warriors nodded in understanding and readied their attack.
Louise and Ann had gone on fighting for a good fifteen minutes when they heard piercing cries come from the nearby woods. Nicole looked out and saw at least thirty blue painted men come running out towards them. "Oh look," she calmly stated, "Dallas Cowboys' fans."
AN: Please remember to review after all these chapters. Am I being funny enough?