Title: Changes
Type: Vignette
Words count: 1,810
Characters: Teyla and Teyla
Summary: For her, the past several months were indeed a future of possibilities. Those possibilities involved changes, changes in all facets of her life.
***
The night air on her face was pleasing. The air was cool, but not overly chilly. The moon's light casting a florescent glow on the dark waters below as the moving waters of the ocean churned out a tune inevitably all its own. Teyla love these moments. They gave her time to think and reflect. In some ways, it was akin to meditation for her. Yet, tonight she was standing here assessing her life. For her, the past several months were indeed a future of possibilities. Those possibilities involved changes, changes in all facets of her life from being a mother to Torren, a guardian for Avani, to being a leader to her people, and being a team mate. And how those changes have affected her relationships with her friends and teammates particular John.
With Torren, she began to question the wisdom of returning to John's team with their lives always in peril with any mission they found themselves on. To leave her son without the only parent he has left. Torren would never know his father. Should she expose him to a life that he may lose his mother too? Could she really do that? That had weighted heavy on her mind. But it was Ronon who pointed out that their lives have always been in peril. No matter what she does or where she lives. Such is the life living in the Pegasus Galaxy. Where the threat of the Wraith still existed despite their best efforts to defeat them and that there were other threats to her son too, namely Michael besides any numbers of named diseases prevalent in the Pegasus Galaxy. Ronon's words had reminder Teyla why she had chose to stay on Atlantis and fight when her people did not.
Her people were all too familiar with the threats and dangers of the Pegasus Galaxy. That is why when she first met John and the others from Atlantis, she had seen the possibility of something more, unlike some of her people. Maybe it was the naivety of her youth. For in her experience, youth tend to embrace, to welcome and to demand change whereas the elder generation, the generation of experience tend to question the wisdom of embarking on such change or tend to fear or fight against such change.
Teyla knew she still wanted to fight for that change, a future where son would not have to fear the Wraith, so her return to John's team was decided. But they were other obstacles too. Michael's imprisonment and experiments of her people had left her people's numbers few. Illness, suffering, despair were not so easily shed by her people. Families destroyed in Michael's attempt to gain control of all in the Pegasus Galaxy and his quest to destroy the Wraith even it meant the killing of thousands and him not giving it an afterthought.
It has always been the ways of her people to provide homes or shelters and a new family unit to those youngest of her people who had suffered the lost of their parents. Charin provided that for her when she lost her father as a teenager. Now, Teyla found herself being that for Avani. Avani had first lost her father during the last Wraith's culling on Old Atho when the strangers from Atlantis had arrived on their planet. Then to only lose her mother because of Michael's experiments had orphaned the young Athosian teenager girl. Teyla had seen so much of herself in Avani. Avani although grieving the death of her mother and the age of youth was still a strong will and determine young woman. Passionate in her hopes for her future. Avani had been one of Teyla's gifted students. Avani had trained with Teyla whenever Teyla had visited with her people, so Teyla knew the young girl quite well. Avani had always expressed her desires to be more like Teyla, to travel to other worlds, to fight the Wraith to live the life more than a simple farmer. Although, at the time Teyla thought Avani was just exhibiting some form of hero worship and that it would eventually pass. The death of Avani's mother changed that. So Teyla felt Avani would be more adjusted with her, so she had put in a request that Avani join her on Atlantis. The request was granted by Mr. Woolsey. Avani's presence on Atlantis had been a blessing to Teyla in many ways including Avani eagerness to help Teyla with Torren. The young Athosian was hungry for knowledge. Many on Atlantis were quite taken with her even Rodney. Teyla suspected that Rodney would be hard press to admit it though.
A casted shadow appeared on the floor at the entrance of the balcony.
*****
John walked out onto the moonlit balcony. The corridors of the city had been mostly deserted due to the hour of the evening. The city was awash in a quiet calm. He paused as he saw Teyla's silhouette tuck away in the right corner structure of the city's wall with her hands resting against the railings. Teyla's face partially concealed in darkness, yet he could see the tendrils of hair blowing in the breezy night's air. She seems miles away. John felt a tightening in his chest. She was a vision of mystery and beauty. And for a moment he wondered whether if he should wait a little before he intruded on her. Then, he saw her look toward him as if she sensed his presence, smiling at him. He continued to walk toward her.
"Waiting long?" John asked as he stopped inches away of what would be considered reasonable space from Teyla, resting his own hands on the balcony's railings, giving Teyla a sideway glance.
"Not really." Teyla replied eyeing John.
"You seem to be miles away?"
"I guess I was. I was thinking how much my life… our lives have changed these past several months."
"I know." John said seriously for a moment, frowning as he thought about some of those changes his self as he glanced out at the vast open ocean, where the horizon kissed the florescent waters in the distance. Yet the visual was lost on him as his mind took him back to some unwanted memories.
John didn't want to think about those unwanted memories now. Not tonight, anyway when there were other things he would like to concentrate on. So he tried to clear his mind of those memories - memories at times that were jagged. Some he knew he will never forgot. Some he still found hard to forgive himself for because at times, the right or wrong answers got blurred into different shades of gray. Their lives these last few months had been the same as the last four years - endless days filled with life and death situations, discovery, and lost and he accepted whatever decisions he had made because they were to protect the lives of those it was his duty to protect. There would be some regrets with some of the decisions. He wishes he could save everyone he cared about or depended on him like Elizabeth, but as a solider he knows he can't, yet sometimes, he struggled with those regrets. But for a man like him who had face death too many times than he cared to count. Which had lead Rodney to proclaimed he had some kind of death wish with his increasing list of suicide missions. It was lying in the infirmary that gives a man some perspective. So unlike before, some changes he had allowed himself to grasp.
A lengthening silence surrounded John and Teyla. Teyla studied John in the pale light, his face reflecting the unhappiness of his thoughts. Teyla wanted to put her arms around him and pull him into her embrace to provide him some comfort. But she held back. Her hand did reach out and touch John's right arm. John left hand reached up and covered her hand lingering for a moment. The silence between them continued for a few second more.
"But, I think some changes are good." John finally said on a lighter note, a smile seem to be forming on his lips.
"You do. Do you?" Teyla questioned teasingly, smiling. She was well aware of the changes he was referring to, for she too was immensely happy with those changes as well. Her eyes were no longer guarded, no longer afraid to show him the depths of her feelings. And in his eyes, he freely showed his.
"I do." John responded as he turned, leaning against the railings to look at Teyla, his brow lifting suggestively, smirking.
"Hmm…I can see why you would."
"So where're the kids?" John asked.
"You know Avani would be a little upset with you if she heard you call her a kid. And Torren, Torren is spending the night with his requested babysitters."
"Requested babysitters?" John thought. Who would request such a duty? He loved Torren, but has the boy as gotten older he was like any other baby or child of that age. Then something else about Teyla's comment interrupted his thoughts of Torren. "Did you say for the night?"
"Yes, I did." Teyla replied with grin.
"Really! So you are free for the whole night then?" Anticipation began to build in John. He lifted up off the railing, inching a little closer into Teyla's space while Teyla acted like she didn't notice.
"Now that would kind of depend on you would it not?" Teyla quipped back, her brow arching.
John closed the space between him and Teyla further, moving to stand in front of her, his front almost touching hers as he looked down at her intently. His mouth twitched. "Now if it was up to me you wouldn't have any free nights." John stated with feelings. John saw Teyla's eyes opened wide. They had crossed that precipice of being more than just friend and teammates, but they rarely had the time alone to express, to explore or enjoy that change in their relationship. He was already a man starving for affection. That starvation was a little more torturous when you know that your desire was within in your reach but for it to still remain allusive.
Even though the lighting on the balcony was limited Teyla could see the intent in John's eyes. She felt her pulse quicken in response. John eyes were now focusing on her lips. Teyla felt a rush of heat engulfed her. John lowered his gaze to the deep v-shaped of her top, watching its rise and fall, grinning, and then his hands suddenly snaked around Teyla pulling her flush against him, molding her against his frame. Teyla found her own arms went up and tighten around John's neck.
"Hmm that better..." John murmured. His head descending as his lips sort to claimed Teyla's.