A/n – Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does!
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Chapter One – The Next Day
No one is staring at you. I promise myself. No one is staring at you. No one is staring at you.
But, because I can't lie convincingly, even to myself, I have to check.
Cautiously, I peek through the small gap of my hair curtain, which shields me from my surroundings. People are staring at me. They have obviously heard about mine and Edwards's break up. In a small town like Forks, rumours travel fast.
I feel someone's arm brush across my waist and I look up only to find my so-called friend, Jessica Stanley grinning at me. Of course she's happy at the sign of my misery. She's that spiteful, that she only became friends with me to become more popular; but since that didn't work she's moved on to Lauren - the queen of spitefulness.
Like most of the other girls at Forks High School, Jessica has too been dreaming of this moment for months, only they are much better at hiding it. However, once she learned that Edward had left Forks, disappointment didn't even begin to describe her feelings at this point; it was the understatement of the century, but all the same she enjoys my suffering.
"We have Biology first", she says.
Forcing out a small, fake smile, I check my timetable just to be sure she isn't teasing me. My eyes hover over Monday. Biology. Great. My first lesson without Edward. Could this day get any better?
I push open the door and look over to where Edward used to sit. All the memories come flooding back. Our first proper conversation, his interest in my life and family history, his continuing battle to stop himself from biting me . . . It's all too much.
I can't do this. I can't do this.
Pull yourself together Bella! You can do this! You're a woman, you can hold onto it forever!
I sigh and think about the possible consequences of skipping a lesson. Detention. I contemplate about whether or not I should bunk, but before I'm about to go through with my plan, Jessica gives me a shove into the classroom. I tumble into a heap on the floor.
Well done Bella. You know how to make an entrance.
My fellow students attempt to hold back a laugh, but I can see they're struggling with this.
"Seriously, Bella! You're so clumsy sometimes! Get over yourself! Edward's never coming back!" Jessica huffs and prances over to her laboratory bench next to Angela.
Her spiteful words firmly lock themselves up in my mind, and much to my displeasure they continue to repeat over and over again.
Edward's never coming back. Edward's never coming back. Edward's never coming back. Edward's never coming back. Edward's never coming back. Edward's never coming back. Edward's never coming back. Edward's never coming back.
Even though a part of me believes what she says is true, I refuse to listen to that part. Edward will come back. I know he will. He still loves me, so he will.
Don't worry Bella; Edward will come back for you.
Without Edward I am turning crazy. I am even talking to myself now. Edward will probably return to find I've been shipped off to a mental hospital. That wouldn't be a big surprise . . .
I pull myself up from the floor into a sitting position, only to find I was just a few centimetres away from falling into a mess of broken glass and red blood. I bring my hand up into view. The blood is mine. Looks like I hadn't completely missed the glass smithereens.
I growl to myself. Jessica had planned for me to fall into the glass. She had known it was there. She didn't know that if I bled it would remind me of Edward, of all the pain he went through just to be with me, but she knew that I had a phobia of blood.
Jessica likes my pain, especially now that Edward had left. She thought it was my fault and that I came between her and him. Apparently, she had been so close to getting Edward, until I came. But I knew that was a lie. Edward had been waiting for someone special. Someone special to fill the hole in his heart. And that someone had been me. Only now my hopes of a future with him are shattered.
I retrieve a tissue from my pocket and dab at my wound. It's very deep and it looks like it needs stitches. Great. Now if only Carlisle was here . . .
Stop it Bella! Stop thinking about the Cullens!
The voice is back again. Arguing with me. Telling me off. But the crazy thing is, is that I know it's right. I shouldn't be thinking about the Cullens. It just makes me think about . . . Him.
I refuse to say his name. It just makes everything worse.
The blood seeps through the tissue which is covering it. I take out another five and wrap them around my hand, securing it with a hairband. I know I should go to medical, but it will just bring back memories.
The memory of when Mike Newton first took me there, because in Biology I had fainted at the sight of blood. But then my life came and carried me instead, since Mike was to weak to do so. Mike was so annoyed. I would be too in his situation, but of course he didn't know that my saviour had super strength.
In fact, he's not the only one who is completely oblivious to the supernatural world around him. I'm surprised that nobody else has figured out the Cullen's secret yet. It doesn't really take a genius to guess. Super good looks, pale skin, never attending school when the sun is out; all these factors of a vampire and more are easy to spot. Even if someone didn't know of the vampire's existence, surely this would come across as unusual to them, and would intrigue them further into re-searching more?
Quietly, I laugh to myself about the stupidity of some of the students at Forks and look back down at my hand. The blood is now unable to leak through the thick barrier of tissues. I rise into a standing position and walk over to my laboratory bench. I block myself from looking at Edward's empty seat. I don't want to remind myself of him, as it will probably cause me to cry. I don't want to embarrass myself in front of my classmates again.
I slump down into my seat and take out my laboratory text book. The bags under my eyes start to feel heavy and the feeling of fatigue tries to force me to sleep. I haven't been sleeping much since Edward left. When I do I'm exposed to a world of nightmares which involve him. I blink a couple of times and ignore the temptations of falling asleep in class. I'd just end up thinking about Edward.
Edward.
His name sounds even perfect than usual.
I can't help myself. I twist my head round to where Edward used to sit.
And then I see him. He's sitting there as normal. He smiles my favourite crooked smile and he takes my hand in his. But I don't feel anything. It feels like I'm touching nothing. Like he's a ghost. A visual image that my mind is creating because I miss him.
But, despite all of these warnings I choose to ignore them. I want to cherish this moment for as long as it lasts, because this might be the last chance I have to see him again. All that matters now is that he came back for me, like I hoped he would.
"Edward, I knew you love–," I'm cut off in the middle of my sentence as he brings his finger up to my lips to quieten me.
Again I feel nothing.
"Shhh . . . I'm here now, you don't need to say anything, love", he lowers his hand.
All the happiness I feel is then overthrown by the feeling of anger. What is the point of coming back? I know he will just leave me again. He will fill my heart with empty promises, and once again he will leave like what we have is nothing. I can't let this happen again; he needs to know my true feelings - even if this Edward isn't real, it will help me to get my feelings out into the open.
"How can you do this to me? You're just going to leave and–," he stops me again with his ghostly, pale finger.
Like the previous times, I still feel nothing when he touches me.
The blinds flutter in the gentle breeze and as it curves it makes a gap, so it no longer separates the classroom from the sun. A thin golden ray of light shines through the window and it rests along the side of Edward's face.
But, he doesn't glitter like he's supposed to.
"Edward, your skin, it's, it's", I stutter, unsure of everything.
"I know, love", he confirms.
"I don't understand, you should glitter, your sparkle's gone!" I'm stressing over un-sparkling skin.
Wow Bella. What is wrong with you today?
Then I remember my hand. The blood. An open wound. He'll attack me. That must be why he left. To protect me from situations like this. If he thought he couldn't control himself around me, then why did he lead me on the first place? He should have never made be believe that he would love me forever if he knew deep down inside that he didn't have enough control to be around me.
As I block out the rest of my waffling thoughts, I bring my hand up into view. The tissues are still there. I tear a part of the thick, soft barrier and reveal not the bloody wound I'm expecting to see, but just my healed hand. Frantically, I rip the remaining parts of the tissue off, only to discover my hand is perfectly fine.
That's when I realise it must be a dream.
Edward notices my confusion.
"Bella", he begins.
"Yes?" I ask sharply.
He flinches in pain at my blunt attitude, but what did he expect? Me to be begging at his feet for him to return? No, that isn't going to happen, even if this is a dream, where anything is possible.
"Can you do me a favour love?" he continues.
"Yes, anything for you", I promise him.
Despite everything he's done, I'm telling the truth. Of course I would do anything for Edward. I love him. I would give my life for him, just to protect him. But that would never be enough.
I'm human.
He's a vampire.
How could a weak, clumsy human like me, protect a born killing machine like Edward?
It's impossible. Completely and utterly impossible.
And that's another reason why he left me. No matter how many times he would reassure me, I knew I would never be enough for him. We are both too different from one another.
"Love, wake up, please", Edward says.
My eyes flicker open. It was just a dream.
I look back at Edward's seat. He is gone again. He is yet another distant memory. A memory I would rather forget, since it's eating me up inside, and tearing my heart to pieces every time I think about him or hear his name.
"Attention class", the voice of my biology teacher Mr Banner, brings me back to reality, "Everyone take out your text books and read from page sixty-four to page one hundred and sixty four. I want that done by the end of class", Mr Banner orders.
I smile to myself, knowing that I'm already one step ahead.
"Jacob Black, the newest member of Forks High, will be joining our class today", Mr Banner adds.
My head flicks up. My blood turns to ice.
Jacob. My best friend.
Correction; My ex-best friend.
I haven't seen him in months. He certainly doesn't know about mine and Edward's break up, otherwise he would have come over to see me.
Mr Banner points over to where I'm sitting and Jacob's grin turns to a frown when he realises who he has to sit next to. I quickly return my gaze back to my book, so he doesn't notice I was staring at him. He plonks down into the seat next to me. Edward's seat. My Edward's seat.
This is going to be the longest and most awkward hour of my life.
"Hey, Bells", he forces out a fake smile, like I did for Jessica at the beginning of the lesson.
I don't move from my position; I'm scared of what I might say.
Bells. Hmm. He hasn't called me that in a long time.
I breathe in a gulp of air and build up the courage to talk to him. After all, what have I got to lose? I've lost everything already. Edward's gone, and now, nothing else matters.
I turn my head up to face him and he grins. He looks different. Very different. Well, for one, he has a shirt on this time. But he is also facially different. His hair is cut shorter and his shoulders are broader.
"Hey, Jake", I return the fake smile, "Why are you here?" I enquire absentmindedly.
His smile turns back to frown and I realise my question sounded incredibly rude.
"Well, nice to see you too", he notices the thin crease above my eyebrows, "I know you didn't mean that, I'm just kidding, sheesh", he chuckles.
The expression on my face remains as a frown.
"I moved schools, La Push High School is closing down and I transferred as soon as the word came out. The rest of the pack will be transferring soon," he hesitates, "So, where's that leech lover of yours?" he jokes.
I shoot him a death stare before I answer.
"We broke up", I brush a lose strand of hair back behind my ear and try to look like I don't care.
I do. Of course. I care a lot, but if I show I do, it will just cause an argument between us and that's the last thing I want to happen. The hardest thing about pretending though, is knowing that I care inside. A lot more than I should.
"Oh", he replies, trying to sound unpleased, when I know inside he feels like the happiest person alive.
"It doesn't mean anything though", I warn him, before he starts getting any ideas about us.
"You still love him, don't you?" he growls.
I nod slightly, hoping he won't notice. But how could I not love Edward? He was my life and still is. Even though he's not here and he's left me, I can't help but still love him.
"Damn it Bella! How can you still love that leech! After all he has done to you! He doesn't deserve you!" Jacob angrily whispers to me, so only I can make out what he's saying, but Mr Banner still manages to hear a faint noise.
"Mr Black, detention, after school", Mr Banner shakes his head and I laugh quietly.
Jacob doesn't seem to be setting a good example at Forks High, he's only been here five minutes and he already has a detention. I turn away from Jacob and begin to read page sixty-four of the biology text book. I never knew Biology could be so boring. I check my watch.
Damn.
Five minutes left and I still have to read 100 pages. Thanks to Edward messing me around in my dream and Jacob talking to me, I completely lost track of time. I guess I'll be joining Jacob in detention today.
"Bella", Jacob mumbles.
"Yes", I reply, trying to sound annoyed.
I am partly annoyed. He already has a detention and now he's trying to get me in trouble too, by talking to me. Didn't he get the hint? I don't want to talk to him. However, it's like I'm reliving the same moment I had just had with Edward in my dream, but with Jacob this time. Any moment now he would ask if I could do him a favour.
"I love you", he murmurs.
But he didn't. He said something completely unexpected. Something I thought nobody would ever say to me again apart from Edward. I can't think of anything to say back; it's difficult, very difficult to think of a response when someone has just admitted something like that to me. So, I take the safer option and I don't answer.
My palms begin to feel sweaty. Colour drains from my face. I feel myself becoming weaker.
"Bella? Bella!? What's wrong?" Jacob fires concerned questions at me, "Was it something I said?"
Oh, nothing to worry about, just the fact you told me you loved me! I answer his question in my mind.
A large smile spreads across my face and then everything turns black.
I think I fainted.
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