Fun fact: Gordy Gumshoe was born at 8:47 in the morning!

** Episode I **
GRAMARYE GORDY

September 27, 2022

It was a Tuesday night. Despite the final thunderstorms of the rapidly-fading summer, the mood inside the Wonder Bar was jovial and carefree, the lights bright, the décor sparkling and shimmering. And in the middle of it all, the eleven-year old Trucy Wright was putting on a grand show.

Tonight's show was a little different. The Wonder Bar was usually packed at this time of night with high school and college students socializing, doing homework, or simply stopping by for a quick game of Mario Kart and a mug of grape juice. Tonight, the Gumshoes had made a special reservation for an extraordinary, one-time-only event: Gordy's third birthday.

The little boy sat enthroned in his mother Maggey's lap, clapping in delight as Trucy worked her magic. Next to him sat Dick Gumshoe, his arm around his wife's shoulders and holding her and Gordy close, and Phoenix Wright himself. He had removed his signature beanie, and his legendary spiky hair still stood out in a crowd. The twelve-year old Pearl Fey was seated next to him, leaning contentedly on Mr. Wright's shoulder, her arm linked with his. Mr. Nick, as Pearl called him, had been something of a surrogate father to Pearl from the day they'd first crossed paths. Now that her cousin Maya was devoting all of her time to preparing and training to become the Master of the Kurain tradition of spirit channeling, Pearl spent a lot of time away from Kurain Village, taking any opportunity she could to take a train to Los Angeles. For just as she had found a father in Mr. Wright, she had also found a sister in Trucy.

As Trucy unveiled her famous partner Mr. Hat, Gumshoe turned to his wife. "Maggey!" He lowered his voice ominously. "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"That I should never have gotten you and Gordy those Pinky and the Brain DVDs for your last birthday, Dick?" Maggey replied mildly.

"Uh, well, you see … " Gumshoe considered for a few moments, his huge eyebrows on a journey of their own underneath his hair, appearing as though he were looking for his brain! Maggey waited patiently, loving her husband more for his strange mannerisms which, rumor had it, had begun to rub off on Gordy. Finally, the light bulb switched on, shining bright light over the former detective's head—Maggey was so used to this process, she could almost see the lightbulb—and Gumshoe turned to face her, the expression on his face a little quizzical. "I was thinking the Berry Big Circus never stood a chance once Troupe Gramarye came along."

Maggey laughed, regarding her husband. He was her Everything, her Special Someone (as the young Pearl Fey had put it). Early on, when she was training as a police officer and Gumshoe was her superior, she hadn't thought much of him. He was clumsy, prideful, slow to think, and he wasn't the most handsome man she'd ever known. No, that had been her Dustin.

But she had been a mere twenty-two at the time. Dustin was lost forever, lost to a deranged maniac with a fetish for large bananas. She would always hold part of Dustin in her heart. And then, there was Dick Gumshoe, taking her under his wing and watching out for her. Three murder accusations had humbled her, and as she got to know Gumshoe more, she had begun to see him in a different light.

Gumshoe surveyed his wife's face as she came out from her reverie. "What're you thinking, about, pal?"

Maggey smiled sweetly again. "I love you." She took her husband's face in her hands and kissed him gently.

"Yeah, I know," Gumshoe laughed. "What's not to love about me?" then answered again with a kiss of his own. Another brief, tender moment passed as he looked deeply into his wife's hazel eyes; then he chuckled. "I love you too, Mags. But I'll have you know, pal, Pinky and the Brain was one of the best shows on all of television during the 90's. He scratched his head. "Why, I can still remember that one-hour Christmas special when the Brain decided to … "

"Welcome to my magic show, here at the Wonder Bar, for a one-time-only SPECIAL event!"Trucy Wright announced, sparing Maggey a play-by-play of the Pinky and the Brain Christmas special (which she was positive Dick would be watching with Gordy the next day—that little boy loved watching cartoons with his dad).

"My name is Trucy Wright,"the young magician spoke with excitement. "And I will be your host for this evening. It is my pleasure to introduce to you my magical assistant for this night's event … "The audience waited with bated breath as a drumroll began—quietly at first, then building a slow crescendo toward its peak, where it ended on a single beat like a firework.

"GORDY GUMSHOE!"

"GUM-CHEW!" Gordy proclaimed in his piping voice. But before either Gumshoe adult could even react to Trucy's surprise announcement, Gordy had clambered up to the stage where the young Gramarye magician waited. Then, from the second row of seats, came another clear and loud voice which clearly belonged to another toddler. Wait, thought Maggey. A trio of voices!

And sure enough, Gordy's friends—the triplets Joshua, Dylan, and Bryce from next door—made a beeline toward the front and climbed onto the stage with him. Gordy looked delighted, jumping up and down, his tiny fists pumped as he welcomed his friends onstage in his own special way. A round of high fives ensued.

"JOSHUA! DYLAN! BRYCE! Come back here this instant!" Jesse Shreeve snapped, rising from his seat. His wife Calleen, however, reached up and gently placed a restraining hand on his arm.

"Jesse, dear," she pointed out. "Don't worry about it. It's Gordy's birthday party, right? He doesn't seem to mind sharing the stage with our boys, see?" She motioned to the stage, where the four boys were running around Trucy, trying to make her dizzy. It was a trick Gordy and his friends often tried with both Maggey and her husband—and, she imagined, with Jesse and Calleen as well—especially when they knew they were in trouble and would do anything to avoid it!

"Very well," said Jesse. "But I guess the question is—does Miss Wrightmind?"

"She'll be fine," Mr. Wright assured mildly, turning around in his seat to look at the Shreeves. "My Trucy is used to this sort of thing. She's going to be a world-class magician one of these days."

"Trucy … " Jesse ventured. "She was Zak Gramarye's daughter, wasn't she?"

For a moment, Maggey (who had been following the conversation) thought she saw Mr. Wright's jaw tighten. But he smiled, and true to his name, his face lit up. "Yes, she was," he replied. "She's been in my care for awhile now. I adopted her a few years back, and she's certainly been a light in my life." He gestured with an open palm toward the stage, where Trucy had just given each boy a miniature top hat. "She truly is magical."

"Good heavens! Ladies and gentlemen!" Trucy exclaimed in perhaps more surprise than was necessary (though, of course, she was humoring the children), "it appears I have four magical assistants tonight! Shall we see what sorts of magic they can perform?"

A round of applause swept the room. "Look at Gordy!" Maggey said to her husband, who had taken his camera out and was taking a video of the show. "He looks so happy!"

Trucy returned the microphone to its stand at the side of the stage. "Now then," she said, kneeling down to meet the children at eye level. "I see that each of you has a white top hat!"

"It's sparkly!" Dylan squealed in delight, holding the hat up as if it were one of Cinderella's glass slippers.

"Indeed it is!" Trucy chuckled. She reached behind her back, and her partner Mr. Hat instantly appeared. "Now, for the birthday boy," Mr. Hat said to Gordy. "We need a good magician's name for you. How about … Gramarye Gordy?"

"Grandma Rye magic!" Gordy crowed, taking Mr. Hat's head in his tiny hands and trying to tug it off. "On TV! I see on TV! I love Grandma Rye!"

"Let me go, let me go!" Mr. Hat protested. "You'll set my hand on fire! You'll ruin my wood!"

The double-entendre (naturally referring to Pinocchio's wooden anatomy) was lost on the four toddlers, of course, but the adults roared with laughter. The mortified Mr. Wright hid his face in his hands, muttering something about dirty jokes and punishment.

Gumshoe's face was fire-truck scarlet, he was laughing so hard. "Maggey, pal, what do you think Grandma Gumshoe would have to say about that?"

Maggey grinned at her husband, tears of laughter streaming down her face. "We should find out! I can just see it now … " she ventured, picturing her venerable mother-in-law, from whom Dick Gumshoe had definitely cultivated his strange sense of humor!

Gumshoe took his wife in his arms, then cupped her face in his large hands and gave her very enthusiastic kiss—not a long one, but not exactly brief, either. Maggey was surprised but pleased. She reached into her handbag and presented her husband with his favorite candy—a stick of Double-Mint gum; though she fully resolved to give her husband a much nicer reward after Gordy was asleep that night.

Trucy then used her magic wand—a shimmering crystalline piece with a nine-pointed star at its end—and changed Gordy's top hat into his favorite color, purple. Then with Gordy as her assistant, she changed the triplets' hats into their favorite colors as well—green for Bryce, white for Joshua, and red for Dylan, who then jammed his hat so forcefully onto his head that he got stuck and had to wait for his brothers to pull him out.

"Now, Gramarye Gordy," Trucy said. She waved her wand, and—in an instant—a banana appeared in the three-year old's hands. "It's a full, completely ripe, mouth-watering banana, you see? Show it to your friends! Show it to your audience out there … no, don't unpeel it! This one is not for eating."

Gordy looked indignant, but he did as Trucy instructed. "It's a big banana!" he explained to the audience, as if he were an announcer on The Price is Right, and uproarious laughter rippled through the audience again.

"Now say the magic words with me and Mr. Hat," the young woman said kindly, "and I will slice this banana into pieces!" This prompted another fit of giggles from Gordy and his friends.

"Abracadabra Alaka-ZAAAAM!" Trucy Wright, Gramarye magician extraordinaire, waved her wand in a circle with intricate patterns, and then … BOOM! A cloud of multi-colored smoke appeared—wisps of green, white, red, and purple!

"How is it that our boys knew the magic words?" mused Jesse from behind the Gumshoes.

"He's Gordy Gumshoe, see?" laughed Maggey. "Anything is possible with him! Sometimes it's best just not to ask questions." Jesse and Calleen chuckled.

"Very good!" proclaimed Trucy, ruffling Gordy's soft brown hair. "You may eat the banana now. Would you like to share with your friends?"

"YEAH!" yelled the small boy, and he was instantly surrounded by his ginger-headed friends as he unpeeled the banana.

Suddenly, Gordy and his friends yelled in delight. "Mommy, Mommy, LOOK!" exclaimed Dylan (who was by far the most boisterous of the triplets). "We can SHARE it!"

"TAKE THAT!" yelled Gordy, showing his audience the banana, which had been cut into slices before Gordy had unpeeled it! The audience clapped exuberantly, Mr. Wright especially so. And as was the way of things with small boys, Gordy, Joshua, Dylan, and Bryce finished off the banana in twenty-five seconds.

Trucy continued her performance with the boys occasionally assisting her. First, she cracked three apples in half with her bare hands, then made one of Prosecutor Godot's old coffee mugs float in midair. She stuck a pencil up her nose and pulled it out of her ear, which made the adults very nervous though the toddlers found it awesome! Finally, in her greatest trick, she levitated Gordy a couple of inches into the air.

"Thank you, thank you!" Trucy opined with glee. "This magic show has been brought to you by Troupe Gramarye."She curtsied, her ringlets of chestnut hair bouncing to and fro. "Before we go, however, we have one last trick for the birthday boy. I would like to invite the Gumshoe family up to the stage."

Maggey set her jaw and nibbled at her bottom lip as she often did when she was thinking. She wondered what this trick was about, but … wait, could it be? I know Dick and I were considering it …

"All right, folks! Let's sing our special song for the birthday boy! But first, Gordy, will you please give me your hat?"

For a moment, it looked like Gordy didn't want to, but after a gentle prompt from his father, he reluctantly passed his hat to Trucy.

You've had a birthday; shout hooray!
We want to sing to you today!
One year older and wiser too
Happy birthday to you!

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you … Gramarye Gordy!" Trucy announced, waving her magic wand again. This time, a shower of purple and gold confetti burst from the top hat. And then … wonder of wonders, Maggey thought … a small kitten with silky slate-colored fur peeked out of the top hat!

"A kitty!" crowed Gordy, reaching into the top hat.

"Be gentle, Gordy!" admonished Maggey. "It's just a baby."

"Kitty," Gordy said reverently, then gently took the kitten from the hat. It was so small that it fit into the three-year old's hands. With Gordy's best friends surrounding him, he picked up the kitten and cradled it in his arms.

"What are you going to call her, pal?" Gumshoe asked.

"Tiana!" Gordy replied happily. "Like princess and frog!"

Jesse chuckled along with everyone else. "I never did see that one," he admitted. "Though I remember being in college, and my sister wanted to go see Frozen over and over!"

"Oh, come on!" Calleen laughed. "You know you loved it! And I happen to know you have an entire book of piano music from the movie!"

Gordy looked adoringly up at his parents. "I love!" he said. And Dick and Maggey Gumshoe both understood that Gordy wasn't just talking about his new pet. With a love that only a parent could truly know, the Gumshoes gathered their son into their arms for a family hug—Gordy, safe in his mother's arms, with his father's strong arms encircling them both.