Delphine was half asleep when Cosima finally returned, lounged on the sofa with a half finished glass of wine on the table. The sound of the door opening startled her awake with a sharp, surprised inhale, immediately turning her head. Cosima smiled weakly, and quietly closed the door behind her.
"Hey," she said, and lifted the bag in her hand, locking the door with the other. "I come bearing gifts."
"Oh?" Delphine asked, straightening up. Cosima dropped her bag to the ground and wiggled out of her coat.
"Yeah," she said, sitting next to Delphine with a soft sigh. "Eskimo pies." Delphine's heart clenched. She watched Cosima tear at the box with blunt nails, frowning lightly. Delphine raised a hand, stroking the backs of her knuckles over the brunette's cheek.
"I love you," she said, the words out before she could stop them. Cosima froze, suddenly looking like she was going to be sick. Slowly, she turned her head to meet Delphine's gaze.
"I-"
"Oh, god, Cosima. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-"
"No," Cosima said. "No, no. I just. I'm sorry." She pressed the box into Delphine's hands. "I need the bathroom," she said, and gestured at her chest, before snapping her jaw shut and abruptly standing. The shutting of the door behind her echoed loudly. Delphine listened for the sound of coughing, hoping that Cosima's excuse had been true, but none came. She pressed her hand to her sternum and sucked in a tight breath. The box of ice cream froze her fingertips.
The more time Cosima spent at work, the more Delphine regretting having allowed herself to admit anything. If she'd been able to take it back she would have, and saved the words for a more opportune time, if ever a time deigned to show itself. Perhaps it would be better if she never said anything at all. If only she could take the words back.
Delphine understood Cosima's need to be away from her, and maybe she had caught onto a thread that would lead them to Kira and was determined to follow it, but being at DYAD meant being around Rachel, and Delphine couldn't help the uneasiness that grew in her stomach at the thought of it. She distrusted the woman. Even if she hadn't been working for DYAD, Delphine wouldn't have liked her. There was something about her, the way she looked at them both, the way she smiled as if she was privy to secrets about them, that set Delphine's teeth on edge. Even worse was Cosima's eagerness to befriend her. Surely she could see that that woman was nothing but ill news.
A surge of loud giggling woke her. Blearily, Delphine opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was the absence of Cosima from their bed. It wasn't unusual, but a quick glance at the clock revealed that it was much later than when Cosima was normally home. Puzzled, Delphine removed herself from the warm of the blankets and shuffled out towards the living room. The giggling continued. She stopped in her tracks. Rachel looked over the back of the sofa, Cosima's gaze following.
"Delphine, hey," she said, grinning. "Sorry, did we wake you up?"
"Yes," Delphine said, eyes focused on Rachel. The woman's eyes skated up her legs, and suddenly Delphine wished she had worn more to bed than shorts and a tank top. The higher Rachel's gaze travelled, the more Delphine fought to not fidget. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "Hello, Rachel."
"Just thought we'd have some drinks after work," Cosima said.
"I trust that's not a problem, Dr. Cormier?" Rachel asked, with a light smirk playing on her lips. Delphine narrowed her eyes.
"No," she said, her jaw tight. "Of course not. Cosima, I will see you when you come to bed."
"Yeah, babe." She could feel Rachel's eyes on her as she walked away, and heard their laughter resume. She listened to the soft mutter of their voices, catching a word here and there, then heard the door shut. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. Cosima was still smiling when she opened the bedroom door, her face flushed from the wine. Delphine glared at her.
"Why was she here?" she asked. The smile dropped from Cosima's face. "Why would you invite her into our house?" Cosima scowled.
"I didn't invite her, she just showed up," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "She's our boss, Delphine, what was I supposed to do? Send her away?"
"Yes!" Delphine shouted. "Yes, you should have sent her away!"
"She doesn't have any friends, Delphine, the least I could do is have a drink with her!"
"Oh, so this is about being her friend now, not about working under her." Something in Cosima's face changed, and her jaw twitched in annoyance.
"At least I'm doing something. What exactly have you accomplished, Dr. Cormier?" Cosima spat.
"If it wasn't for your friend lowering my security clearance, I would be doing a lot more!" Delphine argued back.
"Well, maybe if you hadn't been snooping around in places you weren't supposed to be your clearance wouldn't have been dropped!" Delphine gaped, sucking in a deep breath.
"Snooping? I was snooping? Cosima, have you forgotten the reason why we are here? We are not here to further whatever purposes DYAD has, we are here to find a cure for you, and to find Kira, not befriend the enemy." Cosima scoffed at her.
"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe Rachel isn't the enemy?" Delphine rolled her eyes.
"Listen to yourself! Do you even hear what you are saying?"
"Do you?" Cosima countered. "Fuck this, I'm too tired." The door slammed shut behind her. Delphine threw her pillow at it. She didn't sleep again.
Cosima was awake when she cautiously emerged from their bedroom, a night of stewing and crying having made her ache to have the brunette's arms around her. Cosima was at her desk, looking like she hadn't slept either. She glanced up when she heard the door, but her gaze didn't linger. Delphine bit her lip, and slowly made her way over until she could reach out and touch Cosima's shoulder lightly.
"I'm sorry," she said. Cosima tensed under her touch.
"Whatever," she said, and rolled her shoulder away. "I'm working." Delphine let her hand drop her side, her chest stinging. She lingered a moment, then moved off to make herself coffee.
She tried again that night, when Cosima joined her in bed, and had set her glasses down and slipped beneath the blankets. The light clicked off. Delphine waited, listening to Cosima's breathing. Her body tensed when it hitched, expecting a coughing fit, another reminder of her constant failings at finding a remedy, but it passed, and Cosima settled again.
"I can hear you thinking," she said, without bothering to turn and look. "What is it?"
"I'm sorry," Delphine said. Cosima sighed.
"It's fine," she said, gently, and rolled onto her back. Delphine cuddled into her side, pressing her ear firmly to Cosima's chest to listen to the steady beat of her heart. Cosima shifted until they were tightly cuddled, and stroked her fingers through Delphine's hair. "Let's just forget about it, and go to sleep, okay?" Delphine nodded, and let her eyes close.
There were clever fingers working between her legs, making her writhe and arch and moan. Delphine cried out and reached down to tug on her lover's hair, pushing her chest up into the lips and teeth that danced at her breast. A hum met her ears, and she felt a smirk against her skin.
"Look at me," a voice purred. "Delphine, look at me." Delphine moaned, her hips jerking. The order repeated. Delphine forced her eyes open, but it wasn't Cosima's face that greeted her in the dark of the room. It was Rachel's. She screamed.
"Delphine, hey," Cosima's voice sounded over the loud rushing of her breath and blood in her ears. "Hey, what's wrong?" Delphine opened her mouth to reply, but couldn't do anything other than let out a choked sob. Cosima pulled her close. "Hey, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here." Delphine clutched at her, using her hands to guide her to Cosima's lips and pulling the brunette in for a kiss so hard she knew her lips would bruise from it. Cosima responded eagerly, tugging at her clothes. Delphine clung to her, hoping that her touches would erase the traces of her nightmare from her mind.
The next day, Delphine left for home early, with another failure added to the tally board, far outweighing her successes, but for once, she didn't mind. She glanced at the desk in the office, but Cosima wasn't at it. Delphine sighed and tugged her hair out from where it had caught in her jacket. She made dinner for the both of them, poured two glasses of wine, and waited. She finished her wine, and had another, and still waited, glancing at the door. Perhaps Cosima had a meeting that ran late. The clock on the microwave turned to eight. Delphine sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, and reluctantly heated up her plate, the food long gone cold, and sat at the island to eat. The muffled tone of her phone ringing from her bag stirred her into movement not long after she'd finished.
"Hello, Sarah," she greeted.
"Hey, Delphine, how's it going?" Sarah asked. She sounded tired. Delphine sighed and ran a hand through her hair.
"Not well. There has been no progress, with a cure or with Kira. I am sorry. I wish I had good news to give you."
"Cure?" Sarah asked. "What cure?" Delphine frowned.
"What-Cosima didn't tell you?"
"Didn't tell me what, Delphine."
"She is sick. Like the German."
"Holy shit," Sarah breathed. "And she told you." Delphine bit her lip.
"Yes," she said, "before we left. Before you got back. I knew. I thought she had said something."
"No, she didn't." Sarah paused. "There's something else," she said. Her perceptiveness caught Delphine unawares. She gazed around the empty flat. If there was anyone she could trust with her reservations, it was Sarah.
"I... told Cosima that I love her, and she has been acting strangely ever since." There was an abrupt exhale on the other end of the line.
"Shit," Sarah said.
"Yes," Delphine agreed. "Shit." Sarah sighed. Delphine made her way to the sofa with her wine and sank onto it. "She's still not home."
"You know, Delphine," Sarah started, "I never thought I'd be saying this to you, but she loves you, yeah? Trust me on this. She did nothing but sing praise after bloody praise to me about you, no matter what I said. She's just hurting, you know?" Delphine laughed lightly, a weak thing, and felt a smile tug at her lips.
"Did you just confess to not completely hating me?"
"Yeah, don't let it go to your head," Sarah replied. Delphine could hear the grin in her voice. "I'll call again soon. Let me know if anything changes, yeah?"
"Of course. Take care, Sarah," Delphine replied. Sarah echoed her and the call ended. Delphine tossed her phone onto the table and leaned back, feeling better for their short conversation. Things would be fine, she thought, finishing off her wine. She had nothing to worry about.
Cosima always seemed to be staying late. She couldn't have said for sure when it started, but it happened more and more often as the weeks passed. There was always tests to be run, papers to be signed, project reviews to look over. Always something. Rachel didn't mind. She waited until she was sure Delphine had left before making her move. She didn't knock on the office door, not that Cosima would have heard it if she had, as consumed in her work as she was. The brunette glanced up at her computer monitor once to check something, and when she looked up again a few seconds later, Rachel was standing before her, with her arms braced against the edge of the desk. Cosima sat up abruptly, startled.
"Shit," she said.
"Good evening, Cosima," Rachel said, smirking.
"What's up?" Cosima managed, watching for the second time as Rachel stalked around her desk and casually spun her chair around.
"Nothing much," Rachel replied. "How is that research coming along, hm? Need to run another test?" She leaned forward before Cosima could react, kissing her hard. Cosima shrank into her chair, and when Rachel followed, she bit, and shoved Rachel away. The blonde stepped back to keep her balance, and laughed, licking blood off of her lip. "I have to say, Miss Niehaus, I quite enjoy this side of you." Cosima glared at her. She could see the gears in the brunette's mind turning, grinding against whatever it was that was holding them back. Delphine, most likely, Rachel mused, smirking. She waited, counting down from ten in her head the seconds it would take Cosima to respond. She barely made it to seven.
They made a right mess of the desk. Rachel pulled her skirt back down over her thighs, smoothed her blouse, fixed her hair.
"Well," she announced, clearing her throat, "we simply must do this again. That was divine. Ta-ta, darling." She reached for Cosima's chin, tilting the brunette's head for a kiss, but Cosima pulled out of her grasp, frowning at her.
"Don't," she said firmly. Rachel shrugged her shoulders, and stalked off. It made no difference to her if they parted with a kiss; she had already gotten what she wanted.
Cosima swore when she knocked over her pen holder again. Instead of righting it, she planted both her hands firmly on top of the desk and leaned her weight on them. She squeezed her eyes shut, jaw clenched, and pulled in a deep breath through her teeth. The room smelled like sex. Cosima left the pens scattered and yanked her jacket up from where it had fallen off her chair, removing herself as swiftly as she could.
She half expected Delphine to be asleep when she finally arrived home, but the blonde was curled up on the corner of the couch, holding her head up with her hand and watching TV. She looked over when the door shut.
"Oh," she said, and smiled lightly. "You're home." Cosima hung her coat and dropped her bag. Delphine stood, and crossed half the distance between them before stopping abruptly. She hesitated, then held up her arms, inviting. Cosima stepped into her embrace and buried her face in the blonde's neck, sliding her arms tightly around her waist. "I'm sorry for how things have been lately," Delphine continued. "Between the two of us, your word is the more trustworthy." Cosima hummed. "I spoke to Sarah earlier. She seems okay, but she sounded very tired." Cosima burrowed closer, Delphine's words like knives in her chest. "I made dinner. Your plate is in the microwave."
"I'm just going to have a shower first," Cosima mumbled, pulling away with a final squeeze. Delphine let her go without a fuss. The water washed away the remainders of Rachel's touch. At least the other woman had had the decency to not leave marks, at least none that Cosima could see. It felt like there was a vice around her lungs. She'd been trying to avoid hot showers, the temperature doing nothing to help her avoid coughing fits, but now she turned it up until it scalded her skin, and squeezed tears out of her eyes.
She couldn't sleep, even cuddled up to Delphine's chest, listening to the steady beat of the blonde's heart beneath her ear. She scooted closer, tangling their legs, and sighed softly, determined. Delphine shifted against her, squeezing gently with a hum. Cosima kissed her sternum.
"I can't sleep," she said, and pressed her lips to Delphine's warm skin again, higher. Delphine moaned softly when Cosima's kisses reached her neck. She whispered into Delphine's skin, "I need to tell you." Delphine rose to meet her, her body arching up. She hadn't heard. So, Cosima showed her instead, rousing Delphine from her near sleep and with restrained kisses and touches until Delphine was clinging to her and tugging on her hair, with Cosima's name on her lips. Delphine was gentle, loving, careful, when she flipped them over and began to kiss her way down Cosima's body, resting her head against Cosima's chest as her fingers dipped and danced. When Delphine's lips found hers again, she opened her mouth to speak, forming the words, but they caught in her throat, suddenly tight.
"You do not have to say it if you're not ready," Delphine said, stroking her cheek. "I betrayed your trust." Cosima blinked back tears and held her tightly. Delphine's breath was hot against the crook of her neck.
Delphine was using the computer while she ate, and Cosima couldn't stop staring at the desk, forcing herself to take a bite of her food every few seconds. The blonde glanced up, one hand on the mouse, the other holding her fork.
"Cosima, are you okay? You look a bit pale. Have you been coughing today?"
"Fine," Cosima replied, but it sounded more like a squeak. She cleared her throat. "No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine." Delphine frowned lightly.
"If you're sure." The door opened before the conversation could progress. Rachel was all smirks and swagger when she walked in. Cosima nearly had a heart attack.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, one hand resting on the door handle. "I didn't mean to interrupt your lunch. Dr. Cormier?" Something dark crossed Delphine's face.
"Yes?" she asked, her voice tight.
"Would you mind terribly if I borrowed Cosima for a few moments?"
"Why are you asking me?" Delphine replied. "Cosima can decide for herself." Rachel's smirk grew.
"I'm well aware. Miss Niehaus, if you would be so kind." Cosima spared a glance at Delphine before standing and silently following Rachel out of the room. "You do remember that little secret I showed you, yes?" Cosima nodded. Rachel led them down the corridor to the elevators. "You've been such an asset to our corporation, and have kept your word, so I think you've deserved a visit." Cosima bit down on her tongue to keep from saying anything. They were in the lift for several minutes, the silence thick enough to choke on. Finally, it dinged, and they both stepped out.
Rachel swiped her badge and keyed in a code on the panel next to a plain door, and Cosima found herself in a small observation room, with no one manning the cameras. There was no security on the next door. Rachel glanced at her before slowly opening it. Cosima stayed on her heels. Something about her changed when they entered the room, a miniature flat almost. Her shoulders relaxed, and when Cosima stepped around her, there was a genuine smile on her face. She didn't hold Cosima's attention for long, however.
"Kira," Rachel said, her voice almost unrecognisable, "I have someone I would like you to meet." Kira looked up from where she was kneeling at the coffee table colouring. Her eyes immediately found Cosima, and Cosima knew that no matter how good of an actress Alison had been, she would never have fooled that little girl into thinking she was Sarah. "This is Cosima."
"She looks like Mummy, too," Kira said, tilting her head.
"Yes," Rachel replied, leaving Cosima's side to settle on the sofa behind Kira. "What are you working on, duckling?" With the attention diverted from her, Cosima was free to observe.
"Mrs. S brought me a colouring book," Kira said, and held up her work for Rachel to see. The blonde looked at it closely, then kissed the top of the girl's head.
"That is very wonderful, Kira," she said, stroking Kira's hair. "You're quite the artist."
"Just like Uncle Felix," Kira replied with a broad smile before turning back to her work. Rachel chuckled.
"Maybe not quite like Uncle Felix," she said. "Mrs. S has been to visit today, then?" Kira nodded.
"She said you still haven't found Mummy."
"We're still looking, pet," Rachel answered. Her eyes lifted to Cosima. "Don't be rude, Cosima. Say hello." Cosima fought the frown that pulled at her lips and smiled instead, walking to them and crouching down next to Kira. She held out her hand.
"Hi, Kira," she said. "Your mom's told me a lot about you." Kira smiled and shook her hand awkwardly.
"I like your hair," she said. Cosima laughed softly.
"Thanks, I grew it myself."
"Do you know where Mummy is?" Kira asked. Cosima could feel Rachel's eyes on her.
"No," she said. It was easier to lie than it should have been. "But, we're working really hard to find her, okay?"
"Okay," Kira said, and started colouring again. Cosima shifted slightly and spared a glance at Rachel.
"Kira? Are you okay?"
"Of course I am," Kira said. "Sometimes I miss my friends, but Mrs. S is a really good teacher, so it's okay." She turned her head, dislodging Rachel's hand. "Miss Rachel, can you stay and watch a movie with me today?"
"Not right now, duckling, I have work to do, but how about I come back tonight and we can watch one before bedtime?"
"Does that mean I get to stay up late?" Rachel laughed.
"If you're good," she replied. Cosima stood to give her room, stepping to the side and watching as Rachel bent to kiss the top of Kira's head. "Mrs. S should be here soon, will you be okay alone until then." Kira nodded.
"Bye, Cosima," she said, waving. Cosima smiled at her, but couldn't form a response. She followed Rachel out. The blonde laughed at the look on her face once they were back in the hall.
"Did you think we were running tests on her day in and day out?" she asked, walking towards the elevators.
"Well..." Rachel shook her head, clearly amused.
"I see her every day. She has everything she could ever want, Cosima; books, movies, an excellent education."
"But not her mother." Rachel shrugged and pushed the call button.
"It's amazing what children will believe," she said.
"Why not just tell her she ran off again?" Cosima asked.
"I have no wish to destroy her, Cosima," Rachel said, gesturing for her to step into the lift. "She's safe here." Cosima frowned, and kept as much distance as she could between her and Rachel. She stopped Cosima outside the office with a hand on her elbow. "I assure you I want nothing more than what is best for Kira." Cosima nodded slowly.
"I believe you," she said, and the worst part was that it was the truth. Rachel nodded, and stepped back, smoothing down her blouse.
"The same discretion that applied before still stands."
Rachel took her once a week, and with each visit, she could see the brunette's resolve weakening. There was no play on Rachel's part, not as far as Kira was concerned. Perhaps it was that which tipped Cosima over the edge. It mattered little, at any rate.
"You're really good with her," Cosima commented in the lift on their way back up. "Not gonna lie, I'm a bit surprised."
"I recall once tell Sarah that motherhood is wonderful," Rachel replied. "She squandered it. I will not do the same." She watched annoyance spark across Cosima's face at the mention of Sarah's name, and bit back a smile. "I would like to put you in control of everything involving Kira," she continued when the doors opened, holding the button to keep the doors from closing. Cosima spun around to face her, surprised. "She likes you, and I think you may find it useful. It will require a lot of work, however, if you're willing."
"Yeah," Cosima said, nodding. "Yeah, totally. Thanks." Rachel smiled and let the doors slide shut.
Her workload doubled. Maybe it had been a mistake taking Rachel's offer, but she couldn't deny herself the opportunity to research the biological offspring of a clone. The stress of it made her symptoms flare. More than once she had to hurry to the bathroom before she coughed blood up all over important documents. Each fit left her lungs feeling more and more raw, and her chest ached constantly. Delphine's curiosity and concern grew, and with it Cosima's frustration. It would raise too many questions to tell her about Kira, and she'd lied about it too many times to tell the truth now, not without them exploding at each other. Besides, it would distract the blonde even further from her work, not that she was making any progress, and if there was a cure to be found, Cosima needed it sooner rather than later. She would have to find a tactical way to approach the topic, if she ever decided to.
A late call from Rachel saved her from another round of questioning from Delphine, but not for reasons that were any better. The blonde was puzzled and annoyed when Cosima left in a rush, waiting until she was out the door and down the hall before speaking.
"Is she okay?"
"Yes," Rachel said, "she's fine. It's just a cold, but we don't have any medicine, and she was asking for you. I wondered if you could pick some up on your way over and kill two birds with one stone."
"Yeah," Cosima replied. "Absolutely."
"Good. Just knock when you arrive." Cosima was there in twenty minutes, a small bag from the drug store in one hand, waiting until the lock on the door clicked and disengaged, and Mrs. S swung it open for her.
"Come along in, love," she said with a smile, shutting the door behind her. Cosima left her bag on the table and poked her head into the room. Rachel's voice drifted from the back, followed by a stuffy sounding giggle. Something in Cosima's chest unclenched.
"Hey," she called from the doorway, lifting the bag. "Got meds." Rachel was half laying on top of the blankets, stroking Kira's hair, with a movie playing on the small TV on top of the girl's dresser. She smiled when she spotted Cosima, and swung her feet to the floor with her hand outstretched.
"May I?" she asked.
"Yeah," Cosima replied, handing her the bag. Rachel thanked her, and with a glance at the label had the appropriate dose in the cap for Kira to take. "I tried to find stuff that doesn't taste horrible."
"Just hold your nose and swallow, Kira," Rachel reassured. The child complied, scrunching her face up.
"It's not that bad," she said. Rachel smiled, setting the bottle on the night stand and settling back down. Cosima cast her eyes about for somewhere to sit, settling on dragging the chair in the corner over. "You should get in, too, Cosima," Kira said, peering at her from around Rachel.
"There's not enough room for me, Kira," Cosima replied, glancing at Rachel. The blonde cocked her head.
"Cosima can't stay long, duckling," she said. "She has a lot of work to do." Kira pouted, but didn't argue, and after a few minutes she yawned. Rachel hugged her to her side. Cosima suddenly felt intrusive. Quietly, she pushed the chair away and stood, joining Mrs. S in the main room.
"Would you like some tea before you go, love?" the woman asked. Cosima shook her head.
"No, thanks. I do have a lot of work to get done before tomorrow." She paused at the door. "She's not faking it, is she?" Mrs. S shook her head.
"This world is a great tangled web of lies, Cosima," she said, leaning against the wall with a mug in one hand, "but the love that Rachel has for that girl is not one of them." Cosima nodded, with one last look at the two in bed before leaving.
"Why did you leave so suddenly?" Delphine asked. Hardly in the room, Cosima's annoyance flared.
"Work thing," she said, hanging her coat.
"What work thing?"
"A work work thing," Cosima repeated. Delphine frowned at her, arms crossed over her chest.
"I thought we weren't going to keep secrets," she said. Cosima laughed lightly.
"We never said that, and out of the two of us, I'm pretty sure I'm the more trustworthy."
"Is that so? You haven't spoken to Sarah in weeks, Cosima. Have you really forgotten why we are here?"
"Of course I haven't, Delphine," Cosima said firmly, pushing past the blonde to settle at her desk. "I haven't found anything, okay? Back off." Delphine's jaw was tight, a muscle working as she ground her teeth in an attempt to keep her mouth shut. Cosima stared at her until she sulked into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Cosima sighed, pushing her fingertips against her temples. She wouldn't understand, and neither would Sarah. Kira was better off.
Delphine hoped that if she kept asking, Cosima would finally crack and tell her what the super top secret project that she was always working on but never spoke of. She could tell the brunette was hiding something from her, although whether it was related to her work or not Delphine hadn't a clue, but she could see it. It was almost a physical burden that Cosima carried. Her attempts to get her lover to open up seemed to do nothing more than annoy her. Delphine switched tactics one night, slipping behind where Cosima was bent over her desk and sliding her hands across her shoulders, squeezing gently.
"Come to bed," she whispered into Cosima's ear, kissing it gently. Cosima shrugged her off with a sigh.
"I'm working," she said.
"You're always working," Delphine replied, moving in again. "On what?"
"I've told you before it isn't any of your business."
"We're in this together, Cosima," Delphine said, pulling Cosima against the back of her chair. Cosima sighed again and put her pen down. "It is my business." Delphine kissed the edge of her jaw.
"This isn't." Delphine dipped her head, grazing her lips along Cosima's neck.
"Take a break then, and come to bed with me." Cosima's jaw tensed as she bit her lip, then abruptly she swung her chair around and claimed Delphine's lips with a bruising intensity, her hands knotting tightly in Delphine's hair. They tugged harshly when she stood, knocking the chair to the side and all but shoving Delphine's against the wall at her back. Delphine grunted at the impact. Their teeth knocked, but Cosima seemed not to feel it. She turned her head, but Cosima held her firm, pressing herself completely against Delphine's body.
"Cosima," Delphine hissed against her lips, but Cosima either didn't hear her, or didn't acknowledge. The brunette tugged on her hair again, tilting her head back so she could nip harshly at Delphine's throat. "Cosima, stop. Slow down." She pushed at the brunette's shoulders, and twisted her body, trying to gain some ground, but Cosima was stronger than she was, and her struggle was for naught. Cosima's eyes were black when she finally pulled away, but there was something in them that struck a chord of fear in Delphine's gut. With fingers tightly latched around her wrist, Cosima pulled her around the corner into the bedroom, already ridding her of what few layers she wore, her own following.
She shoved Delphine down and climbed atop her hips, grinding down as she pinned Delphine's wrists to the mattress. Delphine's hips bucked automatically to meet her. As off guard as Cosima's behaviour had caught her, turning the tables on her attempts to seduce, her body reacted as it always had. She winced when Cosima's nails, sharp despite their shortness, dug into her skin, and hissed an inhale when teeth bit into her shoulder. There was nothing gentle about it when Cosima dipped a hand between their bodies and thrust her fingers inside, using the undulating of body to push deeper, curling and scraping. The brunette left angry red lines along her stomach, and painful marks on the swell of her breasts from her lips and teeth.
Delphine's orgasm came sooner than she expected it. She twisted her fingers into the sheets, arching and biting her lip, clenching around Cosima's fingers. No sooner had her body settled back onto the mattress than the brunette pulled away. Delphine jerked lightly at the sudden absence of her fingers, which Cosima absently wiped clean on her leg before lifting her bathrobe from its place hung on the back of the door and wrapping it around herself, leaving Delphine a quivering mess on the bed. She pushed a hand through her hair, her mind whirling about like a hurricane, leaving her unable to form any coherent thought, and it felt exactly the same way being with Aldous had. The realization made her stomach clench and churn sickeningly. She felt dirty.
The shower stung against the scrapes Cosima had left on her skin, some of which had been almost deep enough to bleed. She scrubbed roughly at her skin, as if washing herself clean of dirt and mud, until her whole body was pink and tingling, and overly sensitive to the water temperature. It wasn't until the room was so steamy she could hardly breathe that she finally stepped out. Clutching her towel to her, she moved to change, when a flash of movement caught her eye. She screeched and called Cosima's name automatically.
"What?" the brunette replied, sounding irritated. Delphine tried to speak, but her throat was tight. "What?" A few seconds later, Cosima appeared in the doorway. Delphine pointed. Cosima glanced briefly at the spider sitting in the middle of the floor, then reached for a heavy book from the case next to her and slowly moved until she was close enough, then let the tome drop. It thumped heavily to the ground on top of the bug. "Dead," Cosima said, and turned on her heel, walking back out. Heart in her throat, and thumping painfully, Delphine pulled her towel tighter around herself and stared at the book.
Rachel approached Cosima at her desk with a cocky grin on her face and a vial in her hands. Gently, she placed it in front of her. Cosima stared at it, then picked it up again and examined the small label wrapped around its body.
"Before you ask," she said, "yes, it was given willingly, with no fuss and only a small amount of discomfort."
"Is this..." Cosima started, looking at the numbers on the label again. "Is this Kira's blood?"
"It is," Rachel confirmed. "I thought your doctor might find it useful. Our lab technicians certainly thought it absolutely fascinating."
"I'll give it to her now," Cosima replied, and stood. Rachel blocked her way. "What?"
"Remember, not a word," Rachel said. When Cosima nodded her understanding, she let her pass. "Good day, Miss Niehaus." Cosima waited until she left before letting out the breath she'd been holding in a loud sigh, and lifting the vial up to examine it again. The tank that separated the office from the lab cast a faint blue glow over the white label. Cosima turned her head, peering through the fish and a hole in a piece of coral where she could see Delphine, bent over a microscope. The water distorted her, making her image shiver like a mirage. Cosima folded her fingers around the vial and opened the dividing door.
"I have a sample for you," she announced. Delphine looked over her shoulder, curious.
"Oh? Who from?" Cosima shrugged.
"A willing participant," she answered, and cross the room until she was close enough to hold out the tube. "I hope it's more useful than the ones you've been using."
"Thank you," Delphine said, careful not to let their fingers brush when she took the vial, tilting her head as she examined the label. "I will test this immediately." She spun away. Cosima lingered for a second, then returned to her desk.
A few days with her mysterious sample brought Delphine all of the progress she had been searching for since they arrived at DYAD. When Cosima had given it to her, there'd been a suspicion about whose blood it was lingering in the back of her mind, and the way the cells reacted to each other only confirmed it. The results of her final test were enough to override her concern, if only for a moment. It was almost painful to smile after so long, but right under her eyes Cosima's infected cells were healing, and happiness bloomed in her chest. She felt like she could fly. Hardly able to contain her excitement, she practically did, bursting into the office with Cosima's name on her lips.
"I did it!" she declared. "Cosima, I have found the cure. That blood you gave me, it's the answer. Your cells are healing themselves!"
"That's great, babe," Cosima said without so much as looking up. All of Delphine's joy drained out of her like someone had switched off a tap.
"I just saved your life," Delphine said, her pride and heart both wounded.
"Yes," Cosima replied, "and the lives of all the other subjects as well. Make sure you create enough to distribute in case this shows up in everyone else. I need to let Rachel know." Subjects. Delphine floundered, shocked.
"Do you understand the gravity of what I've just done?" she asked weakly. Cosima glanced up at her, finally, but so quickly that she might as well have not looked at all. She didn't reply, just reached for the phone. Delphine set her jaw. "I know whose blood you gave me." That, at least, made Cosima pause. "Kira is here, and you didn't tell me. You didn't tell Sarah. You kept it from us. Why?" Cosima sighed, and slowly got to her feet, stepping around her desk, and away from Delphine.
"Because she's better off here," she said.
"What?"
"You heard me," Cosima said. "She's being taken good care of. I know. I've seen her."
"She needs her mother, Cosima!" Delphine argued.
"Her mother doesn't deserve to have her!" Cosima shouted, whirling around to face her. "What does Kira have to look forward to if she goes back? Nothing but watching her mother trade stolen blow for cash, so they don't have to spend the night sleeping on a park bench! Trust me, Delphine, this is for Kira's own good."
"But, Sarah-" Delphine tried, but Cosima's glare cut her off.
"Sara isn't a fit mother, and never has been, or did you forget that she left for ten months? Rachel's doing a pretty good job if you ask me. Now, unless you have something else to say, I suggest you either work on creating a batch of vaccine, or leave." Delphine chose the later, and as she stalked out of the lab and down the hall, the nausea that gripped her stomach and the knife stabbing at her chest reminded her of how her own betrayal of Cosima must have felt.
She called Sarah from a payphone the minute she was far enough away from DYAD to feel safe doing so, praying that her call would be picked up, despite the strange number. She sighed with relief when Sarah's confused hello sounded in her ear.
"Sarah, something is wrong with Cosima. She is not acting like herself."
"Delphine?" Sarah asked. "What do you mean 'not acting like herself'? What's wrong?"
"I don't know what has happened to her, Sarah," Delphine said, fighting to keep her voice steady. "She has been distant, and short-tempered and-and violent, and she has been keeping things from me when we are supposed to be working together. I found a cure for her illness, but..."
"But what, Delphine," Sarah asked.
"She gave me Kira's blood to use, Sarah," Delphine sighed, closing her eyes and leaning against the phone box. "Kira is here. DYAD have her." No response. "Sarah?"
"Fuck it," Sarah said, "fuck this. I'm coming to get her. Give me an address, and Paul and I will meet you. It'll be easier to get in with your pass."
"Sarah, I don't think-"
"I am not letting my daughter stay there a moment longer, Delphine," Sarah said firmly. "Tell me where you are." Delphine squeezed her eyes more tightly closed.
"I am a few blocks away from the building," she said. "On the corner of 20th, and Sycamore. I will wait for you here." Sarah's voice went muffled as she called something to Paul.
"We'll be there in an hour and a half," she said. "Don't move." Delphine hung the phone on the latch and huddled inside her coat against a gust of cool, late winter wind. It whipped her hair around her face. Biting her lip, Delphine cast her gaze around for a place to sit, settled on a nearby bench, and waited.
Cigarette butts littered the ground around her feet when a car pulled up to the curb, and the window rolled down, revealing Sarah in the passenger seat. She looked more tired than Delphine had ever seen her, but this time her face was free of cuts and bruises.
"Get in," she called, and the window slid back up. Delphine's heart sank to the bottom of her chest and stayed there, feeling like a leaden weight more than a muscle needed to survive. Paul stepped on the gas as soon as she shut the door behind her, turned twice, and parked the car in an alley behind the building. Sarah turned around to face her. "Paul has something of his own he needs to find. You and I are going to get Kira, and Cosima, and get the hell out of here. Got it?" Delphine nodded silently. Sarah held out her hand. "Give me your pass." Delphine glanced down to where her ID hung from her neck, and slipped the band over her head. Sarah examined her for a moment, then tugged the hood of her sweatshirt up and stepped out of the car. Paul and Delphine followed. Delphine didn't miss the guns tucked into both their jeans.
Paul split away from them a few minutes after they were inside, leaving Sarah and Delphine waiting for a lift to take them down to where Delphine believed they were keeping Kira. It was only a hunch, but it was better than nothing, and Sarah was more than happy to run with it. The silence between them in the lift was tense and awkward. Nothing about DYAD felt right. Sarah's skin crawled.
"I don't have clearance to be here," Delphine said as the elevator slowed. "There will be no alarms raised, I don't think, but I do not know if my pass or codes will work on anything."
"Yeah, well, where there's a will, there's a way," Sarah replied, her voice dead serious. Her hand tugged at the back of her shirt before she stepped out, rearranging the gun shaped bump in her clothes. "Which way?" Delphine shrugged, looking both ways down the hall. "Shit." Sarah bounced lightly on the balls of her feet, then sighed heavily. "Follow me."
"Wait," Delphine said, reaching out to grab her arm. "I have an idea. Wait." Sarah frowned at her, and watched as she quickly walked down the hall towards the end where two men in lab coats were standing. Her voice drifted down the corridor, but it was too soft for Sarah to hear. A minute later, Delphine strode back to her, and pointed along the hall. "She's down there, around the corner, first door on the left."
"What?" Sarah asked. Delphine passed her, prompting Sarah to follow. "How did you-?"
"I know how to get what I want from men, Sarah," Delphine said tightly. "Surely you understand that." Sarah snapped her jaw shut, and let Delphine walk ahead of her. Her hand twitched towards her gun. "Give me my pass." When it was in her hand, she swiped it through the keypad outside the door. It beeped, but didn't flash green. Delphine frowned.
"Doesn't work?"
"I told you my clearance was dropped," Delphine replied, shrugging. She bit her lip. "What should we do?" Sarah sighed and pulled her gun free. Delphine's eyes flashed to it, but she didn't say anything. Sarah turned it in her hand, and smashed the butt against the puzzle until it fizzled and cracked, and the lock loudly clicked open.
"Told you there's a way," she said, and shouldered the door open. There was no one in the observation room. Sarah glanced at the camera's, and danced her eyes across the desk. No button, just another keypad. Sarah destroyed it, relieved when the door unlocked. "Kira?" she called when she opened it, glancing around.
"Mummy!" From her left, a girl-shaped blur of colour rushed towards her, nearly bowling her over with the force they collided.
"Hey, monkey," Sarah breathed, wrapping her arms tightly around Kira and squeezing her eyes shut against the tears that welled in them. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Kira pulled away enough to look at her, confused.
"Why would they hurt me?" she asked. "Aunty Rachel and Aunty Cosima are really cool. And Mrs. S visits, too. Are we going to go home now?" Sarah swallowed over the lump in her throat.
"Not yet, Kira," she said. "We need to go find Aunty Cos, okay? I need you to be a very good girl, and listen to everything me and Delphine tell you, yeah?" Kira nodded. Sarah straightened, holding Kira's hand in her free one. Delphine was stood in the doorway, her arms wrapped around herself. "Where's Cosima?"
"In the lab," the blonde replied, pushing her fingers through her hair. "She's always in the lab." She shook her head sharply, as if to clear her thoughts, and inhaled audibly. "Follow me."
Thank Christ for elevators, Sarah thought. Her palm was sweaty from holding onto Kira's so tightly, but she wasn't going to let go unless she didn't have any choice. Her daughter was doing just as she was being told, but as perceptive as she was, she knew something was wrong, and Sarah hadn't tried to hide the gun from her. Her phone rang. She tucked her gun under her arm and fished it from her pocket?
"Yeah?"
"I got what I needed," Paul said, "where are you?" Sarah glanced up at the elevator buttons.
"Going to the 20th."
"Did you find Kira?" he asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, we did."
"I'm going to come meet you," Paul said. "I'm getting some looks, and I wanna be with you guys if something happens."
"Yeah. It's lab seventeen."
"Okay." Sarah ended the call and pushed her phone away, gripping her gun again.
"I'm going to wipe the computers," Delphine announced. Sarah looked at her. Her face was set, mouth a firm line and jaw tight. "I have to do something to help. I can erase months of work. It will take DYAD ages to recover, especially without Cosima here." Sarah nodded.
"Okay," she said as the lift dinged. "Kira, stay with Delphine, okay?" She handed the child over, waiting until Delphine was holding onto her hand as tightly as Sarah had been before taking point. The office was empty. While Delphine made a beeline straight for the computer, Sarah glanced around. Nothing felt right. The hair on the back of her neck stood on edge, and her gut screamed at her that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
She tightened her grip on her gun, leaving Delphine and Kira behind for the door of the lab, passing beneath the tank when she opened it. The aquarium cast an eerie blue glow over most of the room, dim save for a bright light at a table in the middle, where Cosima was hunched over something. She straightened when the door shut.
"Delphine?" she asked, and turned in her chair. Alarm settled in her eyes. "Sarah? What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Sarah said tightly. Her chin trembled. She clenched her teeth to stop it. "Delphine told me everything. About you being sick, about-about Kira. She said you've been acting all screwy, Cos." Cosima's surprise faded. She stood, slowly, her eyes cool. Sarah tracked her to the wall. Her fingers twitched around the grip of her gun.
"I'm fine, Sarah," Cosima said, but something about her was off; the look in her eyes, the smirk hovering on her lips, the sound of her voice. "You shouldn't be here."
"I came here to get my daughter back," Sarah said. "Why did you lie?"
"To keep her safe!" Cosima shouted. "She's safer here than she ever was with you, Sarah, why can't you see that? Why can't either of you see that!?"
"She's my daughter, Cosima!" Sarah shouted back. "I thought we were in this together. Whose bloody side are you on?" Cosima's face darkened.
"Whose side are you?" she asked. She raised her hand, placing it against the fire alarm on the wall. "I can't let you take Kira."
"Cos, please," Sarah begged. "Think about what you're doing!" Cosima shook her head.
"I won't let you put that little girl in danger," she said. Her fingers twitched. Alarm meant security, and security was bad for all of them. She reacted automatically, raising her gun before she fully realized what she was doing and pulling the trigger just before Cosima's fingertips latched around the alarm handle. The brunette staggered back a few steps, clutching at her chest with one hand. Her eyes found Sarah's. Blood stained the front of her lab coat, the light from the aquarium making it look dark purple; almost black. She tried to speak, but liquid bubbled at her mouth. She toppled, almost in slow motion, hitting the ground with a sickening thud. Sarah watched as she wheezed once, before her chest fell and her eyes glazed over, staring at nothing.
The noise had drawn attention. A second later, Delphine's horrified shout met Sarah's ears. Their shoulders bumped roughly as the blonde rushed past, sobbing Cosima's name and lifting the brunette's head into her lap. Paul followed, holding his gun at the ready. He hesitated, processing the scene before him, then lowered his weapon and tucked it into his coat pocket, closing the distance between him and Delphine in a few long strides. He pulled her to her feet, kicking and wailing like a wild animal, and dragged her towards the door. Numb, Sarah followed, sweeping a confused Kira up into her arms and bolting.
"Don't look, monkey," she said. "Don't look." Kira hid her face against Sarah's neck and clung tightly to her shoulders. Paul led them out a back way, and bundled a crying Delphine into the back of the car, climbing in after her. Sarah strapped Kira into the front seat, grabbing the keys that Paul dangled in front of her face. Five minutes later and they were a safe distance away. Sarah chanced a glance in the rear view mirror. Delphine had her face buried against Paul's chest, her body shaking, but her sobs silent. Sarah bit her lip.
"Delphine," Paul said before she could, "where do you live? We need to get your stuff." Delphine mumbled something into his shirt. "Turn right," Paul said. "Five minutes down, big apartment building on this side of the street."
"Mummy, what's going on?" Kira asked.
"I'll explain it later, Kira," Sarah said. "Keep quiet for now. You're being very brave. I'm very proud of you." She glanced at the mirror again. Delphine's face was splotchy and her eyes red, but aside from the occasional sniff, her cries had stopped. She stared blankly out the car window. Sarah looked away, her chest clenching like a vice around her heart.
Delphine didn't let Sarah follow. The brunette tried, but Delphine shook her head without really listening and shut the door to the flat behind her. The quiet of the room should have been peaceful, but all it did was magnify the dull ache in Delphine's chest. Slowly, she looked around. Cosima's mug was still on the kitchen counter, her coat hung by the door. Her desk by the window was messy as always, scattered with files and folders that she hadn't allowed Delphine to see. It looked for all the world like Cosima would be home at any minute. She took two steps into the room then stopped, unable to will herself to move any further.
It could have been five minutes, or ten; or an hour, or two, or three. It could have been a day for all she knew. Distantly, she registered the sound of the door opening behind her, and Sarah gently calling her name. She turned her head to look over her shoulder, watching as the brunette with her painfully familiar face crossed over to her, and gently touched her arm.
"We can't stay," she said. Delphine slowly pulled air into her lungs, and nodded.
"I'll be there in a few minutes," she replied, hardly recognizing her own voice. Sarah hesitated, then stepped back. Delphine left her standing in the living room, half shutting the bedroom door behind her. It smelled like them both; the tangling of their separate perfumes, the washing detergent, the faint trace of Cosima's weed. Delphine pulled her bag out of the closet and threw everything of hers she could fit into it, pushing them down with her laptop. Cosima's clothes were still strewn across the floor. Delphine bit her lip, and glanced over her shoulder, almost afraid that Sarah had followed, but she was alone.
Slowly, she went through Cosima's things, claiming the brunette's favourite sweaters, and shirts that smelled like nothing but her. Her hand danced over the brunette's jewellery box, and tipped it open. A small box was hidden beneath the top shelf. Puzzled, Delphine picked it up, and peeked inside. Her breath caught, and tears pricked at her eyes again. She snapped the box shut, clenching it tightly in her fist and controlling her breathing until she didn't struggle so much to do so, and dropped the box into her bag before zipping it up and tugging it out of the room with her.
"Ready?" Sarah asked. "You sure you have everything? We can't come back." Delphine nodded, and wiped at her eyes as the vice around her heart and lungs tightened inch by inch. "Come on." She reached out, carefully taking Delphine's wrist. She let herself be led to the door, dropping her key on the kitchen counter and locking the door behind her before shutting it with a quiet thump.