He leant back in his chair staring at the ceiling in his kitchen, the trail of smoke from the cigarette in his hand was joining the growing cloud above him. He should probably stop or at least open a window, but he had neither the will power nor the energy to do either. His emotions were currently bouncing between self pity and anger. One minute he deserved everything coming to him, the crew should toss him off the ship on some island, forget about him and find their first mate without him. Then he would bounce to how the fuck could Zoro do this, not only to him but to Luffy and the crew, yes he had fucked up but he hadn't even had a chance to explain himself. Then back to self pity, it was his fault he had cheated on someone as amazingly loyal as Zoro, that it should be him setting sail on some unknown ship in the night not their swordsman.

He had been sitting like this for hours now, drinking sake and beer, thinking of his Marimo. After his talk with Luffy he had brought him to the table to eat, fuck up or not no one went hungry whilst he was around. The meal had been eaten in morose silence, broken only by a few questions as to why Zoro would do this, why wouldn't he say goodbye, didn't he care about them anymore; the last one came from Chopper and had torn Sanji apart inside, Luffy hadn't given anything away, no telling comments, no conspiratorial glanced. He as Sanji saw it was fulfilling his first mates last request, protecting the stupid cheating bastard that he was and now he was back to self pity.

He sighed leaned forward and grabbed his beer, drinking deeply, not his normal choice to drink but he was going the whole nine yards with Zoro's drinks of choice. He had a plan tonight he was going to get really really drunk and feel sorry for himself, then tomorrow he would get himself together as much for himself as for Luffy.

He heard the kitchen door open, it wasn't time for dinner yet, he'd put something in the slow cooker for the crew. He planned to feed them then go somewhere else to feel sorry for himself. He looked up as Franky sat down at the table next to him, the cyborg looked surprisingly serious.

'Hey little bro, Robin sent me to talk to you?'

'Bout what?' he was pretty drunk already or he would have probably been able to guess why.

'About you cheating on Zoro last night and him disappearing'

Sanji felt the blood drain from his face, his stomach knotted and threatened to empty itself. They knew.

'Look I'm not here to judge, Robin just told me that'd you would probably need a manly chat' the cyborg grinned but he could feel it was forced

'How do you know?' his voice was quiet, guilt was now over taking everything else.Leaving him feeling hollow.

'Well I could tell as soon as I joined, Robin told me you got together at some point on Sky Island'

Sanji felt the cigarette fall from his mouth, it had burned down anyway, so he put it in the ashtray and lit another.

'We're older we notice things the others don't, like Zoro's reaction anytime you flirted with the girls' Talking to Franky without the giant cyborg making jokes and doing his Super felt weird but he guessed even Franky could be serious when needed to, or at least when told to by Robin.

Sanji's face screwed up in confusion, he'd never noticed anything and he had looked.

The older man noticing his confusion continued.

'Everytime without fail his hand would go to Kitetsu, nothing on his face, he wouldn't even tense up, I guess the sword and the lack of any emotion gave it away in the end.'

How could he have not noticed? He wanted to go back in time and kick some sense into himself, of course Zoro wouldn't have liked him flirting no matter what the stupid moss head said out loud.

'Last night Robin was in the bar with you guys, she saw you leave, she says Zoro almost went after you but stopped' Franky paused 'He asked Robin to show him where the ship was, look Sanji-bro you hurt him bad, I've never seen him look so broken' Franky took a deep breath to calm himself 'I was on the ship with Luffy when Robin brought him back, he left again with Luffy and the next time we saw Luffy was at lunch'

Sanji felt the last of his fight go, he hated himself, he hated that part of him that took over last night and hurt the person he…...did he love the Marimo. Why couldn't he have realised how much the moss head meant to him whilst he was here?

'How can I fix this?' he looked at the older man desperately hoping he had the answers.

Franky looked thoughtful 'We'll find him I know we will, he's nakama and Luffy won't rest until we get him back. When the time comes you just need to be ready to convince him to stay.'

Sanji could feel the tears streaming down his face 'I will, I don't know why Luffy is even letting me stay, it should be me off alone not Zoro'

He felt the heavy metal of Franky's hand on his shoulder 'Look, Luffy chose to keep you and Zoro wanted you to stay, stop torturing yourself. You made a mistake now man up and handle the consequences.'

Sanji nodded he stubbed out his cigarette, it had burned down whilst he was caught up in his conversation.

He stood up 'Dinners in the slow cooker, make sure everyone eats' he took a deep breath to steady himself 'I'm going to bed, when I wake up I'll be the nakama Luffy needs me to be'

He didn't wait for a response from the cyborg, he walked as steadily as he could out of the kitchen and down the stairs to the men's quarters. Not bothering to change, he kicked his shoes off and clambered into his hammock. He lay staring at the wall trying to ignore the hammock that was going to lay empty tonight, he fought off that train of thought.

Instead he began planning on how to keep his Marimo once they found him, his chest ached and he fought the nausea down. He would do anything for Zoro, why did it take him this long to notice, why couldn't he have worked this out during the two years away. He let out a sigh, probably because the two years apart had been full of training and learning and he'd known that at the end of it he would be reunited with his crew.

Now though he had to work on faith that their path would cross with their lost swordsman. He would find the Marimo and he would convince him to stay. He kept repeating that in his head until slowly he began to believe it, finally with some hope growing in him, he let the darkness win and he fell asleep.