Well, I don't have much to say today...impossible right? Oh yeah! You should check my profile, I put up a new survey. Surveys are fun. Yeah, well, so much for having nothing to say. Anyways, it has occurred to me that I can be very cruel. Oh well! Yay I got contacts and no longer look like an emo kid. Chyeah!
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and whatever name brand I will probably list in this story, cause I'm so brand obsessed and shallow.
J.T. drove to Liberty's house nervously, the diary rested in the passenger seat. He looked out the window and his eyes met with the familiar streets that lead to her house. She lived in a richer neighborhood, where J.T. had spent so much of his summer ony two years ago. How much had happened in those two years was unbelievable. J.T. and Liberty had gone from a couple to parents...and now strangers. A part of him was still upset over the break-up he had experienced last year, but that part of him was always ignored. J.T. was with Mia now, Liberty was in his past.
He pulled up to the home of Liberty Van Zandt. It was a beautiful structure, lined with coffee colored bricks that were perfectly accented with dark blue-green shutters. The yard was perfectly manicured, with lush green grass and rose bushes that lined the stoned-paved pathway J.T. now walked along. He had second-thoughts, but he knew that Liberty needed help, and he'd do anything to save her.
Taking a deep breath, J.T. knocked on the door.
"Can I help you?" Liberty asked as if he might as well have been selling Girl Scout cookies.
"Yeah, um, you dropped this in the hall today. I just thought I'd return it," J.T. explained holding out the marble composition.
Liberty waited for a moment, when she realized he probably didn't read it, she accepted and thanked it. Just when she was about to close the door, J.T. said, "I read it."
Liberty was speechless, so J.T. continued, "Liberty, I know we don't talk anymore but I think you need to get help. When Emma...we were so scared."
"Come inside." Liberty finally spoke, without any emotion. He obeyed her and the silently headed to her room. When they entered a barrage of memories invaded J.T.'s mind, none of which were even close to rated G. Quickly pushing those thoughts away, J.T.addressed the reason he was here, "Liberty, have you been eating at all?"
------------------Liberty POV----------------------------
My first reaction is to lie to J.T.. But he probably read through the whole diary anyways. "No," I flatly reply.
"Liberty! That's so dangerous...you could..." his voice breaks off, like he doesn't want to say the word 'die'. That really pisses me off, since when does he care if I'm alive. I know that starving myself could kill me, and I do desprately want to stop. But how am I supposed to make myself so vulnerable in front of J.T.?
"I could have died when I was pregnant, but you were so ready to break up with me then. So don't even try to pull off the 'caring friend' act on me," that should shut him up.
"Liberty that isn't fair! We couldn't have made you un-pregnant. But you can get help for this," he says. I hate it when he makes sense.
"J.T., I don't need help with this, I can take care of it on my own," I plead with him.
"Emma goes to these group meetings at the community center for people with eating disorders. She said it helped her a lot,"
"J.T., you honestly think my parents will be okay with me being anorexic? If they find out about it they probably aren't going to publicize it by letting me go to group therapy," I say. J.T. seems surprised that I actually ackknowledged my anorexia.
"You said the same thing when we had to deliver the pregnancy news. They actually said they would help you, they wanted you to dump me first, but they did want to help," he says.
"They did help with driving me to appointments and stuff like that, but they stopped being proud of me like they were before, you know? It's like no matter how hard I try I can't make up for what happened before. It's like they're playing host to an alien," I can't believe I'm telling this to J.T., but know that he knows everything, it doesn't exactly matter.
He touches my arm and I feel that same spark that went away so long ago. He has a girlfriend, it means nothing, I tell myself. But I hear Manny's voice in my head, "You know Liberty, I don't think J.T. ever got over you..." J.T. looks at me with true sincerity, "Fine we won't tell them. But I still want you to go to the Group sessions."
"Okay! Do you want me to go in my Corvette or my Benz?" I ask him sarcastically.
He laughs, even though what I said wasn't funny. "I'll drive you there and back. It's on the same day as my Help For Unstable Teenagers Program," he scoffs at the words 'Help For Unstable Teenagers' and puts them in finger quotes. It's strange that he's still in group therapy for something that happened a year ago.
I smile, "Thanks, that's really kind of you," I say lamely.
"Liberty, can I ak you something?" he asks.
"Well, you already know the secret I had been guarding with my life, so I guess another question couldn't hurt. Go ahead," I say.
"How come it was so easy for me to get you to go to therapy? Like, did you know you have a problem?"
"I know I need help. I don't like being anorexic, but it's like I can't stop it anymore. It controls me. I just didn't think I could tell anyone about it," I tell him.
"You could have told me," he offers.
"Pfft!" words aren't needed to express how stupid that sounded.
He grins, like the fact that we have no relationship is funny, but I grin too. "Yeah, that was a stupid thing for me to say."
"No, it was nice, but we never talk anymore, before this. It just wouldn't make sense for me to tell you," I explain.
"Yeah, well, I have to go. I told Mia I'd meet her at the Dot," he doesn't seem happy to leave, but maybe that's me being dillusional.
"Yeah, I'll check with Emma when the group therapy is," I tell him, "And thanks, you pretty much saved me from killing myself." I give him a friendly hug, which in no way reflects on my intentions.
"No problem, driving you to the community center is a small price to pay for keeping you out of the hospital," he says, we're still hugging each other. Sensing that this "friendly" hug was getting a bit more than friendly, J.T. pulls away and heads over to the Dot. I'm actually glad I'm going to start getting help. I go downstairs to get something to eat, I haven't since yesterday.
I eat a whole slice of pecan pie in less than five minutes, feeling so satisfied. But I know this feeling won't last longer than a few minutes. When the satisfaction wears away and I feel sick, guilty, and fat...as always, I run upstairs to the bathroom. I feel like an idiot with a toothbrush down my throat, at mercy of the toilet. But I ray that this all stops when I start group therapy.
Done. I hope you didn't expect me to have J.T. talk to Liberty and she all of a sudden becomes un-anorexic like what happened with Emma on Degrassi. It takes a long time to heal from it. Hope you like it, review!