Chapter Synopsis: Lana explains to us how things work in The Loud House

"Well, here we are." The voice says in a soothing manner "My room is the first one on the right."

(You backtrack and enter the door behind you)

"No, what are you doing? That's my brother's room! Once you exit the room, enter the door on the right."

(You leave the admittedly tiny room and enter the room on the right…)

"So, you want some answers to what's going on…well, come on over so I can tell you!"

(You approach one of the girls, a blonde one with a pink dress and a black tiara, she notices you)

"Hey, you! What are you doing here?! I didn't ask for visitors! Or are you just a fan? Well, too bad! I'm not signing autographs right now! Now, get out!"

"Lola, they're here to see me."

The pink one and you look to the other side of the room and see another girl. This one has her hair in pigtails. She's wearing a sickly green colored shirt with overalls covering them, she is also wearing a red cap.

"Here…to see…you?" Lola said incredulously. She bursts into laughter…

"Why would anyone want to see you, when they can see me, the more beautiful of the Loud House twins, Lola Loud?"

With that, the narcissistic girl left and headed down the hall toward the bathroom, no doubt getting primped up for yet another beauty pageant.

"Sorry about that, reader." The girl said "She really doesn't like people she can't blackmail. I mean, she can't blackmail me or Lincoln, and we usually suffer her wrath…whether it's listening to her whiny chatter or getting a beatdown…but enough with that, so here's what's going on…"

You start to notice that this twin has the same voice as the mysterious voice from the hospital. What was her name again?

"I'm Lana Loud, the fourth youngest of the Loud family, and you already know about what happens here, because Lincoln tells you, doesn't he?"

She mimics his voice. "Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a large family? Well, so does my teacher. I can sum up my family in one word: chaos!"

Lana chuckles and reverts back to using her normal voice. "He's not wrong, with eleven siblings, it's a constant struggle just to get through the end of the day in your own house, that's not even taking in to consideration school…"

You wonder how Lana is going to tell you what happens next. After all, even with 11 siblings, it still shouldn't be as bad as what she's saying, right?

She continues "It's no secret that we get into fights a lot. After all, it's a reason why we're called the Loud family. It's no wonder why our grouchy neighbor yells at us all the time. Ironically, he's just as loud as us. But despite all of our fights, we usually get to make up afterwards. Take the Fatal Four for example."

You wonder what the heck the Fatal Four are… then you remember…the Loud House is a cartoon with syndicated episodes, and each experience must be an episode, so the episodes with fights in them…

Lana nods sadly at your deliberation "Looks like you know what's up. The first of the Fatal Four is when we wanted Lincoln to do stuff with. I…actually didn't need him for anything, but he did help find Izzy for me. It all went downhill when Lola found out about those earbuds…"

"Lana"

"What, Lola?"

"Are you even paying attention?! We are going to get Lincoln back for ignoring us, are you going to help?"

"No"

"What? Why! He ignored you!"

"I didn't need him for anything."

"Maybe this will change your mind."

Lola shows Lana a picture of…something.

"… Fine, but I'm still against your plan, this can only end badly."

Lana proceeds with the rest of the story "We all temporarily lost our hearing because of Lisa's experiment. Once Lincoln could hear again, Lola gave him an earful. What changed after that day? Lincoln returned those earbuds and we bugged him less often.

You remember it vividly, that was the eleventh episode of the show, Sound of Silence…you make a mental note not to ever mess with Lola…she's scary.

Lana starts another story: "The second of the Fatal Four…that happened when our dad made an elaborate scavenger hunt where the prize was $500 dollars! That was a mistake for him…doesn't he know what happens when you put money in front of people? Long story short, we brutalized the house and each other, just like how Viacom brutalizes SpongeBob; And for the same reason too! That saying is right: "Money is the root of all evil!" Luckily, Lincoln and I convinced Lisa to make a special coin counting jar that splits up the money elevenfold between us. Just to let you know, I still have my $45.45 in there!"

You sneak a glance at the dining room. On one of the dressers is the money jar. It has $166.50 in it and it says to take $15.14 out. This is still better than what happened in episode twenty-six, It's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House.

Lana rattles off another story: "These next 2…everyone hates, myself included. I'll just cut to the chase, the third Fatal Four incident is Brawl in The Family."

You hear what sounds like an earthquake…could the mere mention of episode 57 make even Mother Nature try to destroy it?!

"Good news, that wasn't an earthquake; Bad news, it's an angry mob of fans that got triggered by how terrible this episode was. Why do I hate it? It's a way for the writers to try to perform a character assassination on me! That incident made me worse than Lola! The only good thing that came out of it was that the sister fight protocol is now completely gone! It didn't work (as you could see). I took it upon myself to make an even better version of it, but it's still a work in progress.

Lana takes a deep breath and looks you in the eye. "And the last of the Fatal Four…is why we're here now. I…I'll just show you the title card and you'll understand…

She shows you the title card of episode 66, you revile in abject horror and you even do your best Darth Vader "NO" scream… It's THAT episode, the one worse than Brawl in The Family…

Lana asks dejectedly "Are you satisfied with that answer?"

The title card falls on the ground, you see it…

"No Such Luck"