Chapter 2: "No Way Out"

"Wake from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today we escape...
We escape...

Breathe
Keep breathing
Don't lose your nerve
Breathe
Keep breathing
I can't do this... Alone...

You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you

Now we are one...
In everlasting peace

We hope that you choke...
That you choke..."

~ Radiohead 'Exit Music'

"You're always here this early?"

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Cato coming up to me from the other hand of the training room, this annoyingly smug grin plastered all over his face. "Not that it's any of your business, Bigfoot," I said with a smirk that did not reach my eyes.

"Ouch," he growled, grabbing himself a sword. "How about I make you pay for that comment, what do you say?"

I rolled my eyes, unimpressed, but decided to put my knives away anyway. No matter how much he got on my nerves, I could not deny that he was a very strong Career. And I had made it a personal plan of mine to try and suck out any and every skill I can possibly pick up from training with him. I needed as much as there was to get if I ever wanted to be picked for a tribute in the Hunger Games.

I waited for him to come closer and as soon as he did, our swords clashed together with this satisfying sound I always loved to hear. "What has you think you'll be the one to make me pay and not the other way around?" I asked, eyebrows raised and he glanced down at me with a flirty smile I'd seen him use on girls in the Academy before. From what I'd observed, it always worked on them. Me? I just wanted to kick him in the crotch.

"You wanna make me pay, don't you? I'm all for it, little girl,"

With that being said, I violently pushed his sword off of mine, only making him laugh. He truly loved rubbing me the wrong way. "You're such an ass, Cato,"

"Aww, come on now," he drawled, twirling his sword with such ease it was almost impressive. Almost. "I'm merely trying to make shit interesting,"

"It's always good to try, I guess," I smirked back and he just shook his head.

"Fight this all you want, Clove," he drawled spreading his arms, grinning like a maniac. "I know you want me,"

"You're gonna make me hurl, can you shut up?" I said with a hint of threat in my voice this time. I normally didn't mind his attitude all too much. But there was only so far he could go with his silly insinuations.

"Okay, okay," he agreed, putting his hands up in a gesture of mock surrender. "Geez, you have no sense of humor,"

"It died when I met you," I snapped and he just shook his head before quickly bringing his sword down to meet mine. Relieved that he was done with this pseudo flirting, I gladly continued to fight him and was not at all surprised when eventually he knocked my sword out of my hands and sent it flying across the room. I knew I was not the strongest in this department. It still made me furious.

"Good job," he praised me and I just glared. I didn't need his words of encouragement after he'd defeated me again.

"Save it, Cato," I snorted. "I know you think you're a God and all that. But there'll come a day I am going to fight your ass and win,"

"Little girl, I'm no God, if anything I'm the Devil," he smirked, making me roll my eyes again. "Seriously, Clove, you've gotten so much better. There are many guys in my year that would have lost to me halfway through. You're very good with the sword."

I narrowed my eyes at him, looking for any potential signs of dishonesty but he seemed sincere. I knew Cato enough by this point to be able to detect when he was lying. Still, I couldn't afford to let him think that I had any doubts when it came to my skills. So I stood up straight and raised my eyebrows mockingly.

"Now you're just stating the obvious,"

He let out a somewhat tired sigh but then nodded with a smile. "I know,"

His deep voice echoed in my head as I found myself slowly waking up. My eyelids were incredibly heavy and my head was pounding like never before. My throat felt really dry and I winced at the taste in my mouth. "Ugh," I moaned under my breath when something in my stomach twirled unpleasantly. Carefully, I opened my eyes and realized that there was some blurry figure standing in my doorway. I lifted my head just a tiny bit and blinked a couple of times, trying to get rid of the tears that filled my eyes.

"Morning," Haymitch's incredibly annoying and smug voice greeted me and I found that I really regretted having him as my new mentor. Why him? Why did it have to be the only person in the universe that had no problem with sharing his alcohol? With having so much of it in the first place. "Look, I can tell you don't wanna hear this," he carried on, making me groan. "But we're 30 minutes out,"

I stared at him in confusion before realizing that every little bit of liquor I'd consumed the night before was about to come right up. I scrambled out of the bed and ran into the bathroom before vomiting in the sink.

"Well," I heard Haymitch drawl. "I see that we'll get along pretty well," he only half-joked, following it with a humorless chuckle. I looked up and glared at his reflection in the mirror, trying to hold myself up with both hands on the sink. "You gonna be okay?"

I examined my pale-looking self, the redness in my eyes and dark shadows underneath and I felt like laughing up his question. Was I gonna be okay? Certainly not. Haymitch must have realized I had no intention to answer so he just nodded to himself and sighed dramatically as if it was him that was having a hard time.

"Ok well, there's an outfit for you in the closet," he informed me and only then did I notice he held a glass in his hand which was most definitely not full of apple juice. I decided not to comment on that. Feeling another wave of nausea approaching, I gave him a nod to make him leave. As soon as the door was shut, I got sick again. Coughing and shuddering, I washed my mouth and face with cold water and looked at my reflection once more.

Well, I surely didn't look like a Victor... At least I got that part right.

I stayed like that, hovering above the sink for another couple of minutes, washing my face several times in between, before I decided it was safe enough for me to walk away and try to get changed. I opened the closet to find a fairly simple black jumpsuit with some golden elements to it. Just to remind me of the burden that I've been now forced to carry for the rest of my life. I quickly put it on and let out a heavy breath, feeling anything but ready for what was about to happen.

I really had no clue as to what the reaction of people from 2 might be. I certainly knew what all the Academy folks thought of my victory. That was something I did not need to wonder about. I could almost sense their hatred already, especially since a couple of decent Careers had been killed and they potentially could have been candidates for the consecutive Games.

Tying my hair up in a messy ponytail, I slowly began to make my way to where I'd last seen Haymitch. Surely enough, he was there, as casual as always, having breakfast - a toast in one hand and a glass in another. "Why hello again," he said, sending a smile my way, which I ignored. I furrowed my eyebrows and swallowed hard, trying all in my power not to get sick again. I approached the table and sat in the chair opposite to his. "Help yourself," he encouraged me, lifting a plate with some eggs and sausages on it and bringing it closer to my face. I grimaced and pushed it away as far as I could before the smell of it made me puke.

"No, thanks," I snapped, glaring at him. If he was such a pro in this department, it surely could not have been such rocket science that I was in no way hungry. Haymitch shrugged before putting the plate down. He then glanced at me again and frowned, an amused smile still present on his face. "What?"

"Nothin'." he murmured, taking a bite of his toast. "You should be happy that Effie is not here, she woulda given you hell,"

"Who the hell is Effie?" I asked, pouring some water into my glass.

"Well she's your new escort but she had some business to take care of, thus she won't be joining us for now," he explained while chewing and I winced again. "If she was here to see you all messy and hungover like that, she'd have gone all crazy dramatic on you. But you're lucky today cause I couldn't care less."

"I can see that," I responded dryly before drinking some of my water. "So what's the plan? Do I just make a speech about how awesome this whole Victoring thing has been working out for me and then go straight to my new, awesome victorious house?"

Haymitch laughed shamelessly, almost choking on his drink. "Yeah, that'd be nice, huh? Sadly, the reality is much more depressing."

"Tell me about it," I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to continue.

"Here's what's gonna happen," Haymitch said, grabbing himself another piece of toast and putting butter on it. "I have a speech prepped and ready for you. You're gonna have to read it word for word-"

"Forget it," I snorted. "No one is gonna tell me what I should say to people in my district. No one,"

"President Snow is and you're gonna do what he says, Clove," Haymitch snapped at me for the first time since we'd met and I looked at him, startled. As much as I didn't want to admit it, he was right. I was sure he didn't know about Cato... But I did. And if I wanted to spare him additional torture for my misbehavior, I had to cooperate.

"Fine," I said through gritted teeth, squeezing the glass in my hand so hard I thought it'd break any second. Haymitch looked rather surprised that I had given in so quickly. I actually wished that I could just tell him why but I knew better. I needed to think of Cato. It was all for him. "What does he want me to say?"

Haymitch stared at me suspiciously but whatever it was he was wondering about, he must have decided to keep it to himself because all he did was reach into his pocket. With a slightly shaking hand, he handed me a card. I read what was on it with anxiety slowly filling me up on the inside; I still wasn't used to all these emotions. This fear I now felt, this constant uncertainty and doubt I'd been carrying with me since the day I realized I was still alive. This concern whether Cato was being tortured right this second... I had to do as I was told.

But this so-called speech I was reading? The absurdity of it made my blood go cold. Looking up at Haymitch, my glare darkened. "You've got to be kidding me,"

"I wish," he mumbled, for once looking like he actually understood my hopeless situation and was feeling for me. "This is what I'd been told to make sure you'll say when you get up on that stage today. It's not my call, Clove,"

"I can't say that shit," I shook my head, wanting nothing more than to rip that card into tiny pieces. Haymitch watched me for a little while with something I identified as a vague look of empathy. I knew it wasn't his fault. That he was only here to help. But I couldn't help but feel so furious with what they were making me do.

"Listen," he sighed eventually, leaning forward. "I got no clue what the President has on you. But he made it quite clear to me that you were under no circumstances allowed to say anything more or less than what is on that card you're holding. I'm sorry, Clove. But you've got no choice,"

I swallowed hard, feeling all the contents of my stomach try to come up once more. I was disgusted. Completely and utterly appalled. And what was worse - I knew this was only the beginning of Snow's personal revenge for my actions in the Arena. He was not going to make any part of this easy for me. Not only was I already so torn because of what was happening with Cato, I would now also have to make an absolute idiot of myself in front of everyone in Panem. I clenched my fists so tight my nails broke the skin on the inside of my palms. I was this close to telling Haymitch that there was no way I'd go through with this ridiculous spectacle. But all it took is a voice inside my head whispering his name for me to come back to my senses.

Cato.

Haymitch was right. I had no choice. Not unless I didn't care for what they'd do to Cato. And all of Panem already knew...

... that I did.

"Well hello, lil Clove," I heard the aggravating voice of my fellow Career ring in my ears. By this point, I truly didn't understand why any of them still thought that size had anything to do with one's skills at the Academy. I was almost convinced that they had learned their lesson by now. But I figured their ego was just simply too proud to accept hard facts.

"You must have a death wish," I responded coldly, glaring at him as he approached me. I hated it when someone (aside from Cato apparently) called me some lame nicknames. With Cato, it was different because he'd managed to earn my respect and I knew he respected me just as much so his name calling was simply some sort of teasing on his part, nothing more. This guy? He only did it to get on my nerves and bring attention to the fact that I was much smaller than everyone else in the Academy.

"Don't we all?" he asked, grabbing a machete and grinning like a maniac that he was.

"Maybe you do," I snapped. "I'm not aiming for death. I aim for victory,"

"Ooh, " he mocked, coming closer to me and making me want to tear him apart as he was. "Wanna show me how you go about that goal?"

"Go bug someone else, Thorn, I'm not interested," I responded, swinging my own machete and trying to carry on with slicing up some dummies in front of me.

"I'd love to but you see, it's not someone else that's been occupying my station since the butt crack of dawn, now is it?"

I cut the nearest dummy's head off with one forceful hit and sent it rolling towards Thorn who glanced down at it before narrowing his dark eyes at me. I could see he was getting more agitated by the minute and so I smirked. "Who made this station yours?"

"It's an unspoken rule," he clarified as if it was obvious. "So, go play somewhere else, kid,"

Normally, I was a very composed person so it was quite hard to send me over the edge and lots of people had tried. But I'd seen time and again Careers losing their shit and either getting kicked out of the Academy or straight up killed in the Arena because of it, so I'd be damned before I let that get in my way. Such behavior was simply not worth it. That was definitely something I was better at than Cato; he was way too hot-headed at times.

"Thorn!"

See? Speak of the devil.

"The hell are you doing?" Cato demanded, basically getting in the guy's face. "You think this is recess? Go back to training,"

I rolled my eyes at the both of them and proceeded to stab all of the dummies around me with quickness, making them watch me for a hot minute before going back to their argument.

"Who are you to tell me what to do, Hawks?"

"You'll be surprised. Markus assigned me to chaperone today's training so you better find yourself something to do and quick," Cato threatened him, effectively catching him off guard. "Don't make me walk you out,"

Thorn glared at us both for another short while before turning on his heel and storming off. I lowered my machete and stood up straight, raising my eyebrows at the Blonde. "Markus assigned you to chaperone our training, huh? Nice one,"

Cato grinned with a shrug. "What, is it my fault that guy is such an airhead?"

I just let out a tired sigh and continued doing my thing without giving him a second glance as he too walked away.

"Clove, are you ready?"

I shook my head, trying to get rid of all the thoughts that had been filling it, but it was not an easy task. Haymitch was right beside me, giving me a questioning look, so I just nodded, knowing there was no way out. Aside from death. And my death would kill Cato.

"Let's do this," I huffed, stepping outside of the train where to my surprise, crowds of people waited with Peacekeepers standing in front of them, blocking their path. I stared at the scene before me with wide eyes as dozens of yells cut through the silence. I could try and naively believe that they were there to greet me and congratulate me on my winning the Games; but something about the sinister looks on their faces told me that was not the case.

I felt Haymitch grab my arm tightly as he went and tagged me along, the Peacekeepers forcing the crowd to split so we could go through. The yells continued and as I passed all those people by, I managed to catch a few words thrown my way here and there, and they were anything but flattering;

"Traitor!"

"Get out of our district!"

"Go to 12 where you belong, you imposter!"

I looked around frantically as I suddenly realized the crowd began closing in on us and instantly I felt hands roughly grabbing and pushing me. Haymitch tried his best to keep me away but he was having the exact same problem and in his constantly intoxicated state, I was amazed he was able to keep his balance and still try and guard me. The Peacekeepers, as I realized, were purposefully doing a lousy job and were only pushing the furious horde back enough to ensure they weren't going to rip me to bloody pieces.

"Let us through!" Haymitch roared, his face frozen in pure rage as he finally was able to push me towards the car that had been sitting a few feet away, waiting for us. I got inside, breathing heavily and he followed me. Some objects hit the windows of the car as soon as we got it.

"What the fuck is their problem?!" I gasped, staring as some men banged on the car, cussing at us some more.

"I don't know, Clove, it's your district," Haymitch said, locking the door for safety. "you tell me."

I stared at him, completely shocked as we took off, distancing ourselves from the angry mob. I'd always known the nature of my district. After all, I used to worship our laws and rules. I used to want to be someone my district would cherish and tell stories about to those that are supposed to come after me. Every time I reminded myself of how I had been raised and what I used to believe in, it still came as a shock in a way. I still was not completely certain as to who I really was today.

"You okay?" Haymitch asked and I just stared at the window blankly, wondering how the hell I was supposed to deal with all this mess. How was I expected to function with everyone in the district wanting my head? Was this phase 1 of President Snow's revenge? "Clove, I need you to cooperate with me here," I heard Haymitch's voice again coming from far away. "I will help you but you have to answer my questions,"

Answer his questions? How if I didn't know the answers myself? All I knew was that I really wished Cato had won the Games. I wished I could swap places with him. He must have been better off. All this pressure I felt was going to drive me plain insane. I'd take torture over this any day.

Clove.

I shook my head because if I were to survive, I needed to focus. I had to get rid of his voice echoing in my head constantly.

Clove, are you hurt? Are you alright?

I was hurt. I was hurt all over. I squeezed my eyes shut, actually praying that his voice leaves me alone. I needed to be left alone.

"Clove, are you alright?"

I glanced at Haymitch and was faced with concern and worry in his eyes shooting at me. "I'm fine," I responded finally and he didn't buy it. Of course he didn't. I wouldn't have either. "What is going to happen now?"

"I think it's safe to assume we're going to skip any more greeting parades today," he snorted, brushing his long, greasy hair back with his shaky fingers. "We're going straight to the Victors' Village."

"Oh happy day," I murmured, receiving a half-amused, half-empathetic smirk in return. "What about my speech?"

"There's an official happening later on today," he confirmed to my horror. "I'll escort you there," he added as if he thought I'd appreciate it. I could lie to myself all I wanted but I did find myself appreciating his company, after all. "you're gonna be fine, you'll see. Just read that damn card and get off the stage."

I nodded and that was about everything I was able to do. I didn't have the energy for anything but that. I guess I needed to make myself aware of the fact that it didn't matter what all those people were going to think of me after the speech. I already knew how they felt. What difference did it make now? None. But it did make one hell of a difference to Cato and how much suffering he'll have to endure. If I thought of all this that way, somehow all of a sudden it all seemed very effortless.

The car began approaching the gate of the Victors' Village and immediately, I felt nauseous. I didn't want to be so close to other Victors; this was going to be a nightmare. We came to a stop and I dreaded getting out of the car. When I finally did, Haymitch nodded at me to go ahead and enter my new residence. I walked up to the front door of the huge, cream-colored mansion, before looking over my shoulder. As I had expected, I saw some familiar faces lurking down at me from behind their windows. "Ignore them," Haymitch said before opening the door for me. I swallowed hard and walked inside with a heavy stomach. "We have a couple of hours left so you can still take a nap if you want. Your prep team will be here soon."

I nodded again and decided a nap sounded like a good enough solution for now. "I'll be upstairs," I choked out. "Make yourself at home, I guess," I added before leaving him alone in the hallway, staring after me with tired eyes. I walked up the stairs and down the corridor, looking around. All the doors were closed so I stopped when I was halfway to the end and chose to open one to my left. I realized it was a bathroom, a very spacious one. There was a huge bathtub and a nice sink with a big mirror above it. I came inside, quickly changing my mind about the nap. I walked closer to the bathtub and let the water flow. My clothes fell to a heap at the bottom of my feet and I quickly got inside the bathtub, hissing at how hot the water was. I lied down and waited for it to almost completely fill the tub before turning it off. I grabbed a white bottle standing by the tap and poured the liquid inside into the water, helping it spread with my hands, creating millions of bubbles. It smelled wonderful. Like some sort of flowers. But I didn't know much about such things. We barely had any flowers and plants in 2.

I sighed contently and lied back again, closing my eyes, hoping for at least a few moments of peace. Before all hell breaks loose. Before I'll be forced to be reminded of the brutal reality awaiting me around the corner...

I watched Thresh dividing up some food so we could have a bit of a meal before having to move forward in the morning. I leaned against the cave wall and let out a heavy breath, feeling every inch of my body practically scream in pain. Thresh looked up suddenly and our eyes connected. I knew he'd noticed I'd been in pain ever since that explosion. I'd hit the ground quite hard. So had he.

"You okay there?" he asked me softly and I sucked in a breath and nodded, hoping he would let it go, but I knew Thresh well enough to know better. He dropped what he was doing and came closer. "Where does it hurt?" he asked, squatting in front of me and I just shook my head, suggesting I was gonna be just fine. He sent me a stern look. "Tell me,"

Feeling quite pathetic, I swallowed hard and choked back some tears before replying, "My stomach,"

Thresh's face grew more concerned, if that was possible, and he just watched me for a little while before apparently making his mind about something. "Do you want me to take a look?"

"No," I denied instantly. I knew there was nothing. No open wound. I was afraid a rib or two had cracked. But as messed up as things turned out, I was still a Career. I knew very well how to handle pain. "I'll live,"

Thresh nodded before sitting down beside me anyway, observing every twitch of my face. "Do you have any family?" he asked and I almost forgot to breathe for a second.

"No," I whispered. "You?"

"My grandma and sister," he responded with a sad smile. "She's younger than me. Your age, I think. Kayla. I hope she never ends up in here. My grandma would not take that loss." he said, glancing away, a troubled look on his gloomy face. "I miss them,"

I stared at him, eyebrows furrowed, wondering why he'd decided to be so talkative all of a sudden. And just like that, as soon as that question crossed my mind, I realized what he was doing. He was trying to distract me from the pain. Thresh was not one to share family stories. He was doing it to help me feel better. I was sure that was the reason. I didn't know how I knew it but I did. And so without much thought, I said: "I bet they miss you too,"

He focused his eyes on me once more and watched me carefully for a short moment before breaking into a half-smile. "Thanks," he growled and I tried smiling back but there was nothing good or happy about his confession. About any of this. I found myself hoping that he gets to win the Games. That he gets to see his family again. I had no use for the crown anymore. Cato was gone. I had no one. Thresh was a good, strong man with people awaiting his return. He should win-

"Clove," he whispered and I sent him a questioning look. "Clove," he said again and to my absolute horror, I saw blood making it out of his mouth as deep claw marks appeared on his neck. My eyes widened in shock and suddenly I found myself unable to breathe. I couldn't breathe. "Clove!"

I watched blood pour down his body and grabbed a hold of my throat as I began to choke more and more. Unable to take a breath. He kept just staring at me blankly, bleeding profusely and I felt tears marking my cheeks. "Clove, wake up,"

I opened my eyes and instantly realized that something was not right. I was looking up at the ceiling which was blurry and slightly moving. I panicked as water made it into my mouth and I felt agonizing pain in my chest. I threw myself up into a sitting position from where I'd been lying underwater. I took a gasping breath, choking and coughing, tasting soap in my mouth, which immediately made me want to vomit once again.

"CLOVE!"

My name echoed from behind the door and it was not long before I realized it was Haymitch's voice that I had heard earlier in my dream, which for the most part was actually a lost memory. Haymitch called my name again but I didn't get the chance to respond. He stormed inside before I could catch my breath and I could not have been more grateful for all the bubbles covering every inch of me. I silently thanked myself for using so much of the bath soap earlier.

"For crap's sake, what the hell are you doing?!"

I rubbed my eyes to try and get them to stop burning and brushed my wet hair back, still breathing heavily. "Nothing," I gasped. "Taking a bath,"

Haymitch glared at me for another minute from the doorway before growing a bit uncomfortable, having obviously realized I was naked in the bathtub. "Your prep team is here... " he whispered, eyes still narrowed suspiciously. "Are you... about done?"

I swallowed hard and coughed one more time before nodding my head. "Yeah, I'll be right there,"

He looked away for a moment before sending another kind of abashed glance my way. And then he was gone. I stared at the door for a long while before hugging my arms to my chest and bringing my knees up, a few more coughs making it out of my mouth. A chill ran down my spine and that was when I realized that the water was now freezing cold. I must have been in here for hours. I clawed at my goosebump covered arms as my mind raced back to my dream.

Thresh. Thresh was gone. He was actually dead. The Victory Tour was around the corner and I knew what that meant. I'd have to stand in front of people from his district and face the endless sorrow on his grandmother and sister's faces, knowing their Thresh had died because he was trying to save me. He'd died for me. For someone who would have not hesitated to kill him in cold blood had the Games never changed.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to somehow shut all of those painful thoughts out. But how could I? How could I when I found myself missing him so much?

"Clove, honey, we need you downstairs in 10, it's getting late!" a high-pitched voice scolded me and I groaned under my breath. That was probably Effie. My new escort.

I didn't respond. Taking my sweet time, I got rid of the cold water and used the shower to rinse myself off and finished washing my hair. Before long, I was putting the jumpsuit back on and leaving the bathroom to meet my insufferable new team.

"Ah, there she is!" I heard someone exclaim as soon as I made it halfway down the stairs. Three people were down there waiting for me, with Haymitch leaning casually against the wall, watching me still quite suspiciously. I didn't need any more clues to understand what he'd made of my long bath time. I was pretty sure he thought I'd attempted a lousy death-in-a-bathtub style suicide.

God, if only things were so easy...

"Clove, my dear!" The super enthusiastic, skinny lady called out, spreading her arms when I made it to the bottom of the stairs. Her hair was golden and shimmering, as was her entire outfit and make-up. "So nice to officially meet you!" she exclaimed, the high pitch of her voice making me wince. "Dear Lord, what have you done with your hair, young lady?!"

I frowned and risked a glance at Haymitch who by then had a quite amused, 'I told you so' look on his face. "We've got to take care of this and quick! Flavius, Octavia!" she frantically called to the pair of gawking stylists. "We only have a few hours left. Gotta make her look all festive and beautiful!"

"She already is beautiful," a deep voice rang out from the doorway and I turned around and saw another man come in. If he was from the Capitol as well, and he had to be, he surely didn't look like it. His outfit was twenty times more modest than the other three's and he barely wore any make-up. "Hi, Clove. My name is Cinna. I was Katniss' stylist," he added, a ghost of sorrow crossing his face at the mention of her name.

"The Fire Girl costume," I nodded, recognizing his undoubtedly huge talent and abilities to impress the audience. "You know, there was a time I wanted your blood," words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. I did not lie, though, I really had wanted his head for making Katniss stand out more than the Careers. Effie gasped loudly and murmured something about manners but Cinna just smiled.

"That means I did my job real well," he responded kindly and I couldn't help but return his smile.

"You sure did,"

The next few hours were a blur for me. I barely noticed all those people changing my clothes, doing my hair and make-up. The next thing I knew I was ready and looking at my reflection that I barely recognized. I sure looked fearless. I sure looked like I was supposed to feel. Powerful. Confident. Victorious. I had, of course, a golden outfit on - tight, shimmering pants, high boots and a black corset with some golden elements to it, too. My hair had been put into a mid-low messy and thick ponytail and I had a dramatic, smokey make-up on that made my eyes really stand out and was meant to evoke pure fear.

"Ah! You look wonderful!" Effie exclaimed as soon as she walked inside, admiring me from every angle which made me glare at her intensely. "They will love you!"

I snorted and murmured under my breath as she left, "Wanna bet?"

As Cinna was adjusting my corset, our eyes connected and I could just sense that he knew exactly where I was coming from. He understood. He was different than the others, that much I was sure of. Now that I thought about it, no longer was I surprised that Katniss had managed to win the crowd. Cinna was an artist and he knew exactly how to impress people. Maybe with him by my side, I actually had a chance. Maybe somehow I might be able to overcome Snow's vendetta against me and protect Cato from all the consequences.

"Is it too tight?" I heard Cinna's voice coming from a distance and I shook my head to try and get rid of all those stressful thoughts.

"It's fine," I replied dismissingly and he looked at me with understanding and empathy.

"We're all done here," he said, stepping away from me to make sure everything looked as intended. "You ready?"

I didn't have it in me to lie to him. There was no point, anyway. "No," I admitted. But I still stepped off the stool, my head up high and my eyes expressing everything that his weren't. "Let's go,"

Our ride to the Justice Building took forever. It felt like an eternity had passed before we came to stop and I was asked to exit the vehicle. Haymitch came to my side and encouraged me with a nod of his head to come inside. We had pulled in the back of the building and so I knew that everyone had already gathered in the square on the other side. I felt my entire body tense up and a huge lump growing in the back of my throat, making me wonder whether I'd even be able to choke a word out. A few Peacekeepers awaited our arrival and as soon as we stepped inside, they told us to follow them to the front.

I stopped in front of the huge door and prayed that I get this over with as soon as possible. I tried to stop the trembling of my hands by curling them up into tight fists and I just breathed. In and out. In and out-

Think of Cato. Think of Cato. Think of Cato...

"Here," Haymitch said as he stopped beside me, holding the card in his hand.

"I don't need it," I said, focusing on the door in front of me instead.

"Clove," he said in a warning tone and I glanced at him.

"I mean that I really don't need it," I told him more sternly this time and he sent me a questioning look. I sighed and licked my lips. "I have a photographic memory,"

That's when the door was opened and without another glance his way, I marched outside. I was welcomed by the setting sun which blinded me for a short moment before I was able to see hundreds of faces looking up at me from the square with tons of different emotions written all over them. I walked proudly and confidently to the microphone and barely heard anything that had been said when I was on my way there. My ears were ringing and my eyes watered involuntarily but I knew there was no choice. There was no way out.

I expected for the people to start yelling at me again, cussing and insulting. But to my surprise, everyone just stood there, glaring at me. In a complete silence. I noticed Peacekeepers surrounding the crowd, guns at the ready and I quickly realized that Snow really wanted for every word of mine to reach all of Panem's ears. And he could not afford for anyone to interrupt.

Hey Clove, I need you to promise me something.

"Good evening, District 2," I began, ignoring Thresh's voice in my head and realizing that my own did not sound like it was actually mine. I was someone else. For the time being, I was no longer that girl who had lived through the Games and was still grieving the loss of her allies. I was not the girl who missed Thresh. I was not the girl who cared for Cato so much. I was someone they wanted me to be. Someone Snow wanted me to be.

Whatever happens... don't let them define who you are... Not again.

"I stand before you today, not as a proud Victor of the 74th Hunger Games. Not as someone I had set out to be since I can remember. Not as someone I should have been in the Arena. But as someone who did not deserve to win. As somone who failed you. Having understood the severity of my mistakes, I wanted to express my deepest regrets for how enormously I embarrassed our great District and all those who had supported me and contributed to all of the skills I proudly possess today. I apologize to all my mentors and trainers. I apologize to all of you. And most importantly, I apologize to the Capitol and our President for my shameful actions," I paused for just a second, swallowed hard and got rid of every and any thought of my fallen allies before I continued. "By choosing to ally and what's even worse, protect other tributes from 11 and 12, I horribly besmirched our good name and the character of Careers from District 2 and I could not be any more regretful and ashamed. I solemnly swear that from this point on, I will do everything in my power to make up for all the damage I had caused and to bring back the pride that you deserve to feel and that I should have come back home with. I promise to try my hardest to earn back your respect and make myself deserving of the crown I've won purely by luck. I owe you all of that,"

The dead silence was almost painful. I felt all eyes on me, my heart beating so fast in my chest I was almost sure I was about to drop dead. In a way, I wished I had.

I'm sorry, Thresh.

"Thank you,"

Before anyone could even move, I turned on my heel and walked back inside the building, meeting the faces of my prep team, Effie, and Haymitch that stood there, shocked and confused. I said nothing. I walked right by them, completely indifferent with only one thought stuck in my head as I left;

I hope you choke, President Snow. I hope that you choke.

A/N: Thank you very much everyone for reading and reviewing. I hope more people will become interested in this sequel; I am very excited for it and have many ideas for where I am going to take it. Hope all of you are having a great weekend!