Disclaimer: Who the fuck cares. Don't own this shit. Don't own any shit.
Warnings:
Essentially, the author of this story isn't the best author on this website, but he tries. He tries. Therefore, expect the following:
AU, heavily OOC, butchering of character's personalities and actions in order to fit the story, lack of knowledge on both Nasuverse and Narutoverse mechanics, twisted troll-logic, bad syntax and grammar, suspicious spelling, and complete and utter mangling of canon.
Enjoy. Viewer discretion is advised.
Hatake Kakashi is prepared to fail his team. Every year, he is assigned a Genin team, and every year, he fails them and sends them back to the Ninja Academy as washouts, failures, dropouts. It is because every team that he receives lacks a certain element he's looking for among them.
And it looks as if this new team he is receiving will be the same as all the previous teams he has failed. The masked man shook his head, causing his spiky silver hair to bob in the wind as he took out an orange-jacketed book (Ah, Icha-Icha, so entertaining...) and buried his nose in it, all the while taking up a slouched position against the brick wall of the Academy.
He currently appears to be lazy and incompetent. He appears to be a complete slacker, relaxed and totally at ease. This slightly goofy appearance belies the hardened killer that is Hatake Kakashi. This man has killed, killed, and killed again. This man has caused rivers to run red with blood, caused his enemies to shudder in fear at the whispering of his name. This man can kill another man in at least a dozen ways without a weapon, and can break that man in even more ways.
And yet... Hatake Kakashi is still a man. And like any other man, he has emotions, feelings. He possesses regrets, oh so many regrets...
Hatake Kakashi sighed. He's reviewed the files of the Genin he would be receiving, but he knows files don't tell the entire story. Which is why he is currently camped outside of the classroom his soon to be students (flunkies) are residing. He isn't impressed.
No conversation, no chattering, no wondering about why the teacher is so late. (Three hours late, to be precise.) There's nothing but silence, deafening silence, broken by the steady ticking of a clock inside of the room. This silence is the silence of the grave. If he didn't know any better, and if his hearing and sense of smell were that of a normal civilian, Kakashi might have assumed that the room was completely deserted.
Well, the files did give Kakashi a rough idea of what to expect out of his would-be students, and so far they're living up to all of his deductions.
Haruno Sakura. Ranked as the number one Kunoichi of her class. Possesses excellent Chakra control, but is physically lacking. Has book-smarts, but not much real world experience. As for her personality, well... She had been noted as having an 'obsession' with one Uchiha Sasuke. Obsession is putting it lightly. The girl's only interests were Sasuke, being pretty, Sasuke having a nice figure (She diets for crying out loud, what sort of sensible Ninja diets?), Sasuke, showing that she's book smart, and Sasuke.
Which brings him to his second would-be student, Uchiha Sasuke. Last of his clan after the Uchiha Massacre some years ago. Ranked overall as the number two Shinobi of his class, but just barely edging out the overall number one student in Ninjutsu. The boy was a lone wolf, and he reminded Kakashi all too uncomfortably of himself when he was Sasuke's age. (Those days, with Minato, Obito and Rin... All gone now. Every one, gone.) as it stands, the boy was dark, surly and acted, to be brutally honest, like an asshole. Oh he was skilled, and there was some justification for his brooding personality, but the fact remains: he's completely anti-social, and is just a hairsbreadth away from completely snapping and going over the edge.
And then there was his final student. Uzumaki Naruto. Kakashi sighs. Uzumaki Naruto. That name that elicits so much regret and brings up memories of so much failure. (Minato, Kushina, what would you think of me right now?)
He doesn't even know if he can face Uzumaki Naruto, a living testament to his failures as a person, as a student, as a Shinobi. But he must. But he must.
Uzumaki Naruto. Ranked number one in his class overall. Excels at everything except Ninjutsu, where Uchiha Sasuke just barely edges him out. The boy is noted as being extremely anti-social almost exactly like Sasuke in that regard. Uzumaki Naruto is cold, unfeeling, emotionless. He has no friends in his class, and there are only a few people in the entire village of Konoha that could be regarded as the boy's friend. (Once again, Kakashi is reminded too uncomfortably of himself at a young age, so alone among his peers.) But the boy... For all his anti-social ways, he was noted as being strangely charismatic. He didn't speak much, but when he did speak, his opinions were heard, his voice akin to a commanding shout of authority. ("Did that come from Minato?" Kakashi wonders. "That charisma that Minato also possessed? That presence that made him seem to be the center of the world, that voice that so many followed?")
Hatake Kakashi does not relish the prospect of facing Team Seven. But he must. Orders are orders, and there is no real reason to disobey orders just because he does not wish to face a group of Genin. And so, Kakashi Hatake prepares himself, mentally and physically, for the task that is to come.
Kakashi opened the window of the classroom, and jumped right through it with nary a whisper. The consummate professional. (And isn't that description such a lie?)
Uzumaki Naruto decided that he beginning to dislike Hatake Kakashi. The man was three hours late after all.
Perhaps it was understandable? Perhaps the man was busy, or had something to do. (All soldiers have their duties.) Perhaps Hatake Kakashi had suffered terrible injuries from an unfortunate accident, or something along those lines. If there was a legitimate reason why he was so late, a reason that was perfectly understandable, then Naruto couldn't really fault him for his tardiness. Even if it was annoying.
Thus the boy sat in his seat, behind his desk, outwardly appearing completely calm and relaxed, even if he was beginning to have some slight irritation building up towards his wayward 'sensei'.
Uchiha Sasuke glared irritably at the calm and composed boy sitting several seats behind him. How the hell could that guy remain so calm even when their sensei is three hours late? It boggled the mind. Not to mention, that guy... That guy...
Uzumaki Naruto acted like Ita-, no, That Man. So calm, elegant, poised, and so goddamn good at everything. First in close quarters combat, first in theory, first in everything! Everything! (Except for Ninjutsu, Sasuke thinks vindictively.) Uchiha Sasuke dislikes Uzumaki Naruto because he acknowledges that Uzumaki Naruto is better than him. It subsumes Sasuke's pride, to see that some random civilian-born was able to garner more power than him, was able to soar beyond him while Sasuke himself remained still.
The less said about Sasuke's feelings towards Haruno Sakura, the better. Sasuke had no time for useless fangirls, for wastes of space that would only pull him down. Naruto however, Sasuke could use Naruto. Naruto would be a stepping stone so that Sasuke could finally kill That Man.
Yes, that is what Sasuke would do. Naruto would be the stick he would use to measure his skills. He would learn from Naruto, figure out how Naruto got so much stronger than he himself did. Sasuke would attain that power, and then attain more power so that he could crush the blond effortlessly. And then he would go after That Man and kill him so that his dead clan might be avenged. (Mother, Father, Uncle, Aunt, Cousins...)
Haruno Sakura was irritated. For a while, she had been ecstatic at being placed in a team with her beloved 'Sasuke-kun', but now? Now she was just plain annoyed.
Their Jonin-sensei was three hours late after all. Three whole hours. God! What was wrong with the man? What a total bag of hammers! But still... At least she was with Sasuke, right? Right?
Wrong.
Her team was completely dysfunctional. So far they had been seated for three hours in complete silence with nary a word spoken. One member sat in contemplative silence, one member sat in brooding, angsting silence, and one sat in silence because she honestly couldn't figure out what to say, or how to start a pleasant conversation.
Her teammates were brick walls, completely stoic and unfeeling. It was annoying. (Why the fuck doesn't either of you say anything? Goddamn it!)
Well, at least she was placed with Sasuke. That has to count for something, right?
And then the window opened and a man jumped through. A strange man, dressed in a green flak vest atop a blue body suit, the typical attire of Konoha's Jonin. Atypically, hid headband was slanted to cover one eye, and he had a face mask pulled up to his nose so that the rest of his face was completely covered. His grey hair was also spiked up ridiculously.
Sakura looked at this strange man angrily. This... This was their Jonin-sensei? Really?
"Hey. Are you our Jonin-sensei? Hatake Kakashi-san, right? " She asked, trembling with anger.
The man 'eye-smiles' for lack of a better word, one eye curving up cheerfully.
"Yup!"
"Then why are you THREE HOURS LATE?!" She screeched, standing up from her seat and pointing an accusing finger at the tall lanky man.
"Ah well, I got lost on the road of life." Kakashi laughed as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.
Silence. Complete and utter silence.
Naruto immediately retracted any favorable opinion he may have had regarding the person that is Hatake Kakashi, and found himself starting to genuinely dislike the gray-haired Jonin. (I really hate this kind of person.)
Sasuke's left eyelid began to twitch in anger and annoyance. (Useless! This entire team is useless!)
Sakura's mouth went slack, before she closed it and glared at Kakashi in sheer unadulterated rage. (What the heck kind of excuse is that? Huh?)
Kakashi turned to survey his 'team'. He sighed. (What a motley lot.) His lone eye slid across their forms, across the civilian girl's form (Green eyes, long pink hair. Slim in body wearing a red dress, has a lack of musclar development due to dieting, smooth unmarred hands...) across his brooding student's slouched form (Black of eye and hair, and quite possibly temperament, considerably developed considering his age, wearing practical clothing typical of a Uchiha, blue shirt with the fan on its back and cargo pants) and then...
He looked at Naruto. And for a while, all he sees is his dead teacher, returned from the grave. But then he looked more closely, and he began to pick out the differences between his dead teacher and his student. (Blond with blue eyes, relatively short all things considering. Back ramrod straight, arms and legs tucked in, and nary an ounce of emotion crossing that face. How professional. It looks as if he's been eating and exercising adequately. Again, practical clothing. Blue shirt and black pants, both of durable quality. Cheap, yet workable. And... Ooh! He has a sword strapped to his back. Medium length, straight-edged, sharp on both sides, cheap yet workable.)
-And then the boy looked at him directly, and Kakashi was pinned beneath a laser-beam gaze, blue eyes that dissected him completely and utterly, seeing through all of his deceptions, unraveling all of his mysteries, bright blue eyes that completely and utterly analyzed him, just like Minato had done before him-
Kakashi turned away from Naruto casually. (... More like hurriedly. Uzumaki Naruto... You act so much like your father did, it's not even funny.) He cleared his throat, and spoke.
"So." He mused. "You're my team, eh? Well, my first impression of you..."
Kakashi's lone eye curved up cheerfully once again. "... Is that I dislike you. All of you. Well then, meet me on the roof in five minutes!"
And with a swirl of the wind and a smattering of leaves, he vanished. Gone to the roof, to contemplate, to think, to be haunted by his ghosts once more. Kakashi pulled out his book and starts reading again.
"What would you think of me, my friends in heaven? Obito, Rin... Minato."
Uzumaki Naruto saw that infuriating man go, and he frowned. A tiny frown, almost imperceptible, but still a frown.
Uzumaki Naruto looked at his teammates, and saw that they have not moved from their positions at all. He shook his head slightly in order to get his bearings and adjusted the sword at his side a little, before he spoke.
"I think that it is best if we go to the roof. There is no point in tarrying here any longer after all, so we had best be on our way."
And with that one statement, the brusque boy got out of his seat and went to the door of the classroom, opening that door and stepping out into the hall. He was followed shortly afterwards by a shell-shocked Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. One's eye was still twitching, and a pulsating vein had appeared on the pinkette's forehead.
Kakashi saw his 'team' come onto the roof from where he was perched on a railing and he sighed, flipping his orange book shut and tucking it away in his flak vest.
"Great." He said blandly. "You're all here within five minutes. How wonderful for you. Now we can all introduce ourselves." There was a long awkward silence. "You know, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future?"
Another beat of silence before Sakura spoke up. "How about you go first, sensei?"
Kakashi's lone eye curved up in another 'eye-smile'. "Alright then. My name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes... Hmm, I have a lot of those. I have the same number of dislikes as my likes. You're all too young to know my hobbies and dreams for the future, so don't worry about that. Pinky, you're up next."
Naruto and Sasuke twitched, and Sakura glared at Kakashi with growing rage before she caught what he had said.
"Ah! I'm Haruno Sakura. I like..." She trailed off and turned to gaze at Sasuke dreamily, before giggling and returning to reality. "I hate masked idiots who are late to important events." Here she turns to glare at Kakashi. "My hobbies and dreams for the future..." She began giggling again, all the while looking at Sasuke suggestively.
"Neat. Broody, you go next."
Sasuke grunted in annoyance. "Sasuke Uchiha. I have a lot of dislikes, but it doesn't matter since there is almost nothing I like. I train a lot. My dream for the future… no, my ambition is to revive my clan, and to kill a certain man."
You could almost feel the sheer amount of angst and emo emanating off of his form. It was taht thick.
"Okay. Blondie-"
"Uzumaki Naruto. I like well-structured meals. I dislike eccentric old men and manipulative young men. As for my hobbies, I train and read. My dream for the future is to become a Hokage." (So that I can surpass that Knight.) Naruto stated stiffly, cutting Kakashi off mid-sentence.
Kakashi shook his head. Two completely anti-social people (One dark and angsting, the other cold and unfeeling) and a fangirl. What a collection of walking neuroses.
"Great," he said at length, and clapped his hands together. " Now that we all know each other, I get to tell you about what we're going to be doing tomorrow. We'll be having a test-"
"Test?" Sakura raised her hand in confusion. "Sensei, we already had a test."
Kakashi smiled. "Did you really think it's that easy? The Academy test is a farce, meant only to separate the downright terrible from the mediocre and exceptional. Now it is the Jonin-sensei's task to fail the mediocre."
Sakura paled. "Sensei?"
"Nine teams of Genin, formed from a class of twenty-seven. Out of those nine, on average, about three pass every year. The rest are sent back to the Academy for another year."
"But that's-!"
"Now as I was saying..." Kakashi said loudly, bulldozing over Sakura's objection. "... We will be having a test tomorrow morning. I expect you all to be at the Third Training Ground at 0700 hours, on the dot." Kakashi turned his back on his 'team'. "And by the way, don't eat breakfast or you'll be sick."
And with that statement, Kakashi left in another swirl of leaves, leaving behind three very confused and angry Genin.
Sakura sputtered in anger. "But that's! He can't! This is!"
Naruto summed up what everyone was thinking in a short deadpan statement.
"What an unpleasant man."
At exactly 0700 hours, Team Seven reconvened at the Third Training Ground. It was a nice place, possessing a view of several mountains on the horizon. Within this training ground, there was a large and deep river, and it was heavily forested, with the exception of a glade with three stumps in the center, lined side by side.
Kakashi wasn't there. Of course.
And so they settled into the long wait, waiting for their wayward teacher.
Three hours later, Kakashi showed up.
"Yo!"
"... You're late." Sakura muttered bitterly.
Sasuke and Naruto settled for glaring at the silvery-haired man.
"Well, a black cat crossed my path so I had to take the long way it." Kakashi stated matter-of-factly, causing his 'students' to deadpan and if anything, intensify their glares.
"... Okay then. Let's get started." Kakashi dropped an old fashioned alarm clock on one of the wooden posts in the glade tree stump and set it. "Here we go. This clock is set to go off at noon. Your assignment is very simple. You just have to take..." He paused to pull a pair of bells attached to each other by a red string from his vest. "... These bells from me. That's all there is to it. If you can't get a bell, you go without lunch. You'll get tied to one of these posts and watch while your team mates eat lunch in front of you."
Cue the grumbling stomachs of the Genin.
"There are only two bells." Sasuke was the one to point out the obvious 'flaw' in this arrangement.
Kakashi smiled. "That way, one of you will ultimately end up tied to the post and disqualified for failing to complete the test. The one person who does not get a bell will end up going back to the Academy for another year."
He paused. "Oh, I should tell you. Come at me with lethal force if you don't want to fail."
That threw his Genin for a loop.
"But Kakashi-sensei! You might-" Sakura trailed off.
"Ah, I'm sure I'll be fine. Now let the test... Begin!"
The clock began ticking, and the test began as all but one of the Genin that would be facing Kakashi hurriedly sought cover in the forest. Naruto glared at Kakashi defiantly from where he was standing.
"And what are you doing? Do you really think you can take me on by yourself?" Kakashi asked amusedly, before he took out his orange-jacketed book and began to browse through its pages once again. "Well then go ahead, Mr. Rookie of the Year. Show me what you've got."
The blond reached for the sword at his side and unsheathed it, gripping it in his both of his hands and taking up a ready stance. And then, without further notice...
... He charged, a headlong sprint at Kakashi. (Actually, pretty darn fast for a Genin. Interesting. Also, no taunts, no words spoken... Nothing. How professional.)
"Well then, here we go." Kakashi muttered. He didn't even deign to close his book in response to the threat bearing down on him. "Lesson number one: Taijutsu."
Naruto swiped at Kakashi with those sword, but his attacks are completely ineffectual. The silvery-haired Jonin simply ducked and weaved out of the way of his attacks. Naruto continued pressing on however, despite the ineffectiveness of his attacks.
"Hmm, so far not bad." Kakashi states casually, while dodging to the side of a stab aimed at his stomach. (It seems like he's actually aiming to seriously wound me here. Most of those attacks were aimed at places like my knees and elbows and such, so he is aiming to incapacitate-)
The sword made a hissing sound as it swung through the air and buzzed across the side of Kakashi's face as he quickly dodged the fast-moving length of sharp steel in slight shock. Naruto backed away, and took up his stance again, ready to continue his assault.
"Alright. So far so good, I guess. Now, my turn." Kakashi 'eye-smiled' cheerfully, before closing his book and tucking it into his vest. (Holy hell, that was a close one. Nearly took out my other eye. I better treat him a little more seriously.)
And with that, he attacked, and the battle ensued. Kakashi advanced on Naruto, who was poised and ready to receive the first blow, before Kakashi vanished, only to be replaced by a log.
Naruto blinked at this, before he suddenly spun around and parried a stab aimed at his back.
"That's good, good..." Kakashi murmured. (Good reaction time, good to see that he's alert...) "But how long can you keep up, I wonder...?"
And with that, the clash of blades began. As Kakashi countered Naruto's counter from his own attempted backstabbing, he absently noted holes in his style, places where he lagged behind,or took too long to recover. (But overall, Naruto's style of fighting with that blade is actually pretty good. As expected of the Rookie of the Year, I guess. But if I do this...!)
Kakashi dodged one more swing and parried another, and then struck. His left leg went flying out, and he tripped Naruto who went sprawling onto the ground, though he recovered in a matter of seconds. But when he got back up, Kakashi had vanished once again,
Naruto shifted about restlessly. (Above? Left. Right? In front...?)
"Right here." Kakashi rose out of the earth, and just before Naruto went to face him...
"Konohagakure Secret Finger Technique: One Thousand Years of Death!"
... He poked Naruto in the ass with his index and middle fingers, actually sending the boy flying in the air from the force of the poke...
... Before Naruto's form disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to be replaced by a log.
"... Kawarimi. You ran before I had even attacked, huh?" Kakashi wondered, almost in disdain, kicking the log he had poked aside carelessly. "Well, I'm sure I can do something about that."
A brace of shuriken suddenly zoomed out of the forest, only to be deflected or blocked by a mildly amused Kakashi.
"Speaking of... I better go deal with my other wayward students. Oi, you might as well show yourself right now. I know where you are, you know."
A disgruntled Uchiha Sasuke trundled out of the forest.
"Ah, so it's Mr. Number Two. And what makes you think you can take me on when Naruto couldn't?" Kakashi asks cheerfully.
Sasuke scowls. "If that guy can scratch you, then I can definitely defeat you. So don't take me so lightly. I'm better than him."
"Maa, we don't know about that." Kakashi dabbed his cheek slightly, eye-smiling tensely when he noted slight traces of blood on his fingers. (Damn, he actually nicked me there. Didn't expect to be wounded at all during the course of this little excursion. Did not expect a Genin to be that good around a blade.) "So far, I'm not particularly impressed, Number Two."
Sasuke charged Kakashi recklessly.
"Well then, here we go. Lesson number two: Ninjutsu..."
Uzumaki Naruto ran into the forest and he hates every single moment of his retreat.
Naruto hated running from anything. He absolutely hated it. He absolutely, positively hated running, hated sneak tactics, hated any sort of retreat. But he is no fool. He isn't stupid. He knew now that he had absolutely zero chance of taking Kakashi on by himself. Not after the man nearly gave him that super ass-poke.
Naruto shivered slightly. That wouldn't have been pleasant. Luckily enough, he had the presence of mind to Kawarimi with a nearby log. Otherwise...
No, Uzumaki Naruto was no fool. He knew now, after facing the man, that for all his strengths and abilities, he had absolutely no chance against Kakashi alone. He knew that, and that was why he was running away from the man and trying to get a moment of reprieve. Better to do something that he dislikes currently and achieve victory than to throw away any chance at victory by doing something idiotic like charging a superior opponent head on.
(The King must choose between what is easy and what is right. The fate of an entire Kingdom rests on the King's choices.)
The question now, was... What to do now? By himself, he definitely had no chance at victory. But perhaps...
(Looking at a battlefield and watching several armored Knights fighting it out, fighting side by side while he himself fights alone... Watching as the many inferior defenders overwhelm the few superior aggressors...)
... Perhaps he would need to enlist some help. Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura. Both are skilled, he knows that much for certain. Perhaps the many could overwhelm the few. Although he would prefer to fight by himself, Naruto knew that if he is to have any hope of victory in this test, he must bring down Hatake Kakashi, and he knew that he cannot do that by himself. If he can't bring down Hatake Kakashi and retrieve the bells, he can't become a Ninja, and if he can't become a Ninja, he can't become a Hokage, and if he does not become a Hokage...
... He cannot ever surpass that Knight that stands alone on a grassy knoll. The blond boy nodded decisively before moving to go search for Uchiha Sasuke, all the while making sure he stayed hidden. (Though he hated every single moment of his concealment, and longed for the time when he could once again fight openly.)
Uchiha Sasuke was currently buried in a hole so that only his head stuck out of the rich earth. He looked very disgruntled and irritated.
"I really expected more from you, Sasuke." Kakashi sighed. "Too bad."
Sasuke continued to glare daggers at Kakashi.
"See ya." The Jonin waved gaily at the irritable Uchiha, before going off into the forest.
It really was too bad. Compared to Naruto, Sasuke was just that tiny bit slower, just that tiny bit weaker, and he didn't even have the threat detection capabilities that Naruto had. In one fell swoop, he had been defeated and pulled into the earth in which he was currently residing.
Although, he did give Kakashi a tiny bit of a workout. Then again, Naruto also gave Kakashi a workout and Kakashi still hadn't subdued Naruto yet.
"Hmm. That's two out of three..." Kakashi surreptitiously scanned the forest. (One in the clearing, one's quite a distance away, and one... Hello.)
"Lesson number three: Genjutsu." Beneath his mask, Kakashi smirked predatorily as he began moving silently to where a certain pink-haired girl was residing.
Haruno Sakura blinked incoherently as she slowly came to. "Huh... Whuzzit...?"
And then she remembered the events of the past few minutes and what caused her to faint.
"Oh god! Sasuke-kun! The blood! Oh god! Oh god-"
"Sakura, calm down."
Sakura blinked. "Naruto? Where's Sasuke-kun? He's injured! I need to help him! And then-"
"Sakura. Pleasr calm down." Naruto stated in a placid tone of voice, though you could tell by his body language that he wasn't in a good mood currently. "Sasuke is fine, but he's currently incapacitated."
"What do you mean, incapacitated?" Sakura all but shrieked. "Tell me, tell me!"
"He's buried-"
"NO! SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura cried.
Naruto sighed. (What fools and clowns I find myself surrounded by...) "Sakura. Sasuke is still alive. When I said buried, what I meant was buried alive-"
"NOOO!"
"-So that his head is still sticking out and he can breath." Naruto stated a little more loudly.
"Well then, we have to go save him!"
"As I was about to say, I have a proposition for you. I cannot defeat Kakashi by myself, and having seen the results of Kakashi's battle with Sasuke, I know that Sasuke cannot defeat Kakashi by himself. Therefore, I would like to make a deal with you and Sasuke..."
"Five minutes till noon." Kakashi muttered idly from where he was leaned against a wooden post in the middle of the glade. "I wonder where those two are..."
Sasuke ignores Kakashi's words and continued to stare up at the sky. Really, it was all he could do.
"Well, I'd better go look for them." Kakashi stood up straight, and dusted his vest off with his hands, before he caught sight of some movement at the edge of the clearing.
"So, you're making his move again, Naruto?" Kakashi calls out cheerfully to the blond boy. "Well then, ready for round two?"
As before, the blond boy said nothing. He merely palmed his sword and took up a ready stance. It was as if he was telling Kakashi to come to him rather than the other way around.
"If you insist. Well then. Here we go." And with that cheerful statement, Kakashi vanished in a blur of speed. The clang of steel striking steel sang through the air.
Sasuke watched all of this from where he was buried and he gritted his teeth in frustration. Stupid Kakashi, stupid Naruto, stupid Ita-
"Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke attempted to turn his head but completely and utterly failed. Was that...?
"Sasuke-kun. Don't move. I'll get you out in no time."
And so, Sakura began digging Sasuke out of his hole in the ground.
"Haruno? What are you doing?"
"Naruto told me to get you out." Sakura blathered. "After Kakashi put me in a genjutsu that made me think you were dying, Naruto found me and offered me a deal and offered to extend the deal to you-"
"Well, what's the deal?" Sasuke snapped irritably.
"We all work together to get the bells." Sakura wetted her lips with her tongue before going back to digging. "It sounds crazy but I think... Sasuke, I think this is the only option. Kakashi-sensei's crazy strong, and I don't know how much longer Naruto can keep him off of us-"
There was a loud grunt as Naruto flew into a tree and created a dull whump sound as his body impacted the trunk of the tree. The stunned boy slid to the ground in a heap, before recovering himself and charging at Kakashi with a snarl on his face.
"So? What do you say, Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke mulled over his options. (Damn. Haruno's right, Kakashi is too strong. Even if I managed to touch a bell, the sadist will probably put me back in the hole. And this esy, I can use these two to get myself out of this mess and achieve the objective-)
"Alright. Just help me out of this hole, and I'll help you two get the bells." Sasuke grumbled.
"Almost... There! You should be freed now."
After almost an hour of stillness, Sasuke finally extricated himself from his temporary prison. He flexed his fingers a bit, before proceeding to turn to where Kakashi was located. The cyclops had disarmed Naruto and was currently pinning the boy in a headlock.
"Ah, so you're working together now? Well, this might prove to be-"
The alarm clock rung.
From his headlock, Naruto groaned. Sasuke grunted in displeasure, and Sakura looked at the clock in disbelief.
Kakashi eye-smiled.
"Well, you guys... Fail!"
"You know, you did end up grasping the ultimate concept of this test, but it was only near the end of the test. Also, the fact remains, none of you ended up getting a bell." Kakashi stated.
The rest of Team Seven sighed in exasperation, Sasuke and Naruto from where they were seated on the ground, and Sakura from where she was tied to a pole.
"And what was the concept of this test, oh glorious leader?" Sasuke snarked.
"Teamwork. It was only at the end that you three actually thought about working together, and even then, it was out of an act of convenience."
"What kind of stupid..."
"Do you three think this is a game or something? You're supposed to be Ninja. You're going to be out on the field in life or death situations, and you're going to have to rely on your teammates to help you, or you're going to die."
Kakashi sighed. "What do you think the real purpose of this test was? Why do you think we were divided up into three man teams? Is it just because it makes it easier to send people back to the academy? No. It is because you are to learn what it really means to be a ninja. You three simply didn't get the real meaning of this test."
The realization finally dawned on the Genin. It was Sakura who vocalized what all three of them were thinking.
"This test was never meant to test our skills, wasn't it Kakashi-sensei? No one expects a Genin, or even a few Genin, to beat a Jonin in a fight. This test and the reason we're in three man teams… It's teamwork. We had to show teamwork to pass. It was never about the bells."
Kakashi 'eye-smiled', that lone eye curving up in a U-shape. "Exactly. I'm glad to see the three of you finally get it. Maybe if you had worked together from the beginning, this test would have been different, but we'll never know now. The good news is, I'm not sending you back to the Academy for one more year. Because you grasped the concept of the test slightly, even if it was at the very end of the test, I'll give you all one more chance to pass after you eat lunch."
"Kakashi-sensei..."
"Oh, I forgot. Sakura doesn't get lunch."
"What!" The girl shrieked.
"You didn't even try to make an effort to get the bells, unlike your teammates. That's why you get to be tied to a pole, and that's why you don't get lunch. Naruto, Sasuke, I'll give you your lunch boxes before I leave to go set up the test. Don't give lunch to Sakura though. If you do, I'll make sure that you get sent back to the Academy permanently."
After Kakashi left the group with their lunches, there was a sort of lull in the general hubbub of the day. Sasuke and Naruto looked at their respective lunches apathetically while Sakura looked at their lunches with a sort of hunger. (Screw dieting, I'm hungry!)
Eventually, Naruto sighed.
"Here." Naruto put down his lunch box and turned to look at Sakura. "Take it."
"What? But-"
"I do not need it, Sakura. I can go without food for a while. Besides, it appears as if you are in greater need of this lunchbox than I am."
"But-"
"You should hurry up and eat already." Naruto takes a pause to cut Sakura's bonds with a kunai, much to the girl's surprise, before using his foot to push his own lunch towards her position. "I said this before, didn't I? Hunger is our enemy."
"But what about Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura shrieks in horror.
Sasuke grunted a little before he slid his own lunch over to where Sakura was still seated. "He's not here, I can't sense him. Hurry up and eat. You'll be useless otherwise."
The pink-haired girl nodded slowly.
"I think the both of you should eat as well. We can divide two lunch boxes amongst three people, right?"
Sakura opened one of the lunch boxes and deflated.
"This is... It looks..."
Naruto frowns. "As long as you can eat it, it's fine. Anything edible is acceptable. Extravagance is our enemy."
"And what about Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura wondered.
"That man is almost certainly our enemy." Naruto stated seriously.
Silence dwelled in the clearing for a moment, before the pink-haired girl stifled a snigger and spoke with a playful tone.
"Hunger, extravagance, Kakashi-sensei... Hey, we have a lot of enemies, don't we?"
"Indeed. We are besieged on all sides."
There was a brief moment of lightness between the group. Sakura beamed, Naruto allowed a wry smile to spread across his face, and even dour Sasuke smirked a little.
And a feeling rose up inside of Naruto. Warmth, built from camaraderie and companionship, and he wondered...
(Ah. Is this what it's like to be around friends?)
He has never had friends before, merely acquaintances. For all his intelligence, for all his strength, he has never had friends before. No one has ever gotten close enough to him to be classified as a friend, and he accepted that. But now?
(I think that I like this feeling.)
In that moment, an everlasting bond is formed. It is a shaky bond right now, untested and newly born, but it is still a bond regardless.
In the shadows of a nearby tree, Kakashi reads his book and smiles to himself.
"Team Seven, pass." Kakashi stated.
"... I'm sorry, did I hear you incorrectly?"
"Nope. Team Seven passes."
(They'll be great, all of them. They're not the most perfect team, not yet. But they will be. They will be.)
A/N:
The amount of work I put into this chapter makes me question whether or not it's actually alright to release it. I'm going to do it anyways.
Any and all criticism is appreciated. Outright flaming will not be tolerated.
I intend to utilize primarily Narutoverse mechanics in this story, since those are actually something I can understand and write. It's just simpler.
No, Naruto does not have Excalibur or Avalon yet. He isn't super OP to the point of godliness either. I'm trying to keep things reasonable. I'm sorry if you were expecting a curb-stomp battle, but rest assured, Naruto will be getting stronger, as will the rest of Team Seven to the point where they will be able to fight on par with some of the more bullshit-overpowered enemies in Naruto or Fate/Stay Night. It'll take time though. Baby steps.
The length of time between updates will vary. I am nearly on spring break, so I will have more time to write in the near future. I am currently trying to build up a buffer of chapters (4-5 chapters) so that I can release updates consistently.
Thank you for taking the time to read this story, as mediocre and stifling as it may be. I wish you all a pleasant day.