Chapter two: Merry Christmas you little piece of shit.

"Horatio, I think we might be dealing with revenge." Ryan said as he met up with Horatio, who was coming out of the elevator.

"Really, why?" Horatio asked, trying not to yawn.

"Well, the father from our first murder was apparently abusing his wife and so had our new victim when he was married a couple of years ago." Ryan said, proud of himself.

"Good job." Horatio said, tired.

Ryan frowned, his boss looked like as if he had been run over. His eyes looked dead and it seemed to take a lot of energy for him only to talk.

"You should go see a doctor." Ryan said.

Horatio sighed, "I'm fine." He said.

Yeah right, Ryan thought, but decided not to push his boss.

"Alright, I'll go check for people who might want revenge of these guys." Ryan said and left.

Horatio hurried to his office, everybody had started to notice how tired he looked and it was only a matter of time before Alexx would scowl at him for not sleeping properly.

But he couldn't tell her about his dreams, he couldn't tell anybody.

He had once. When he was 22 he had a girlfriend and he told her about his childhood. She had left him, fearing he would become like his father.

And Raymond never spoke about their childhood, he ignored the fact that Horatio had scars all over his body.

His back and chest were the worst areas.

His scars had scared away some potential girlfriends, and incurred others to hurt him just like his father.

The last time he had been really happy was when he had met Marisol.

But their relationship didn't last long, it was as if Horatio simply had no right to be feel happiness, to feel love, and it was as if he was meant to be alone.

Horatio did some paperwork and then walked down to the labs, trying to work with some evidence.

The problem was that they didn't have much evidence.

-I-

After about five hours the team still didn't have much to work with, the only thing they knew was that the blood from the first crime scene matched blood found at the other crime scene.

But they still had no one to match it to.

It was three a.m. and Horatio was sleeping in his lab.

-I-

The now ten year old boy watched his neighbors greet their relatives.

They were all smiling and hugged each other.

He wished he could have it liked that, but Christmas in the Caine family residence was not happy.

Raymond had been given a new bike as a Christmas present, Horatio had been given… He hadn't been given anything.

In fact his mother had said that she had forgotten to buy something to him because of dementia. But Horatio didn't believe her. She never forgot things.

He knew it was his father that had stopped her from buying something for him.

Why did his father hate him? The young boy wondered, that did he ever do to make him so mad at him?

Horatio was ten years old and had never received a Christmas present or birthday present, but his little brother got everything he pointed at.

Dean sat in his couch, observing his oldest son, and he knew that the boy wanted a present.

His wife was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, and his youngest son was playing on the second floor.

Horatio never said much to his father, nor his mother.

He wasn't aloud to speak on his own free will.

Dean rose from the couch and walked to his son, he grabbed him by the neck.

"Don't you think this is perfect Christmas, boy?" Dean asked.

Horatio nodded, oh it sure was perfect, who wouldn't want to get beatenby their father on Christmas, what a perfect gift.

Dean pulled his son away from the window and forced him down the basement.

He tossed Horatio to the floor.

"You know, I'm going to stop putting you in my closet, I don't want you sitting their, among my clothes.

Instead, I'm going to put you in the trunk, I made a few holes for you, so you'll get air." Dean said.

Horatio didn't know what to answer.

"Take your clothes off." Dean told his son.

Nobody knew that Dean had been molested by his grandfather when he was young, and nobody knew how much Horatio reminded Dean about his grandfather. Sure the boy looked just like Dean, but the was quiet, and shy, just like Deans grandfather.

Horatio was ashamed, as standing naked in front of your father was not very fun.

"Get on your knees." Dean said.

-I-

Horatio jerked away from the desk and gasped.

He felt the urge to throw up, and he probably would have if Natalia wasn't standing next to him, worry written all over her face.

Horatio was panting and jumped slightly as Natalia placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Are you ok?" She asked, "I'm sorry if I scared you."

Horatio calmed down slightly.

"You didn't scare me, I just…" Horatio said.

"You hade a bad dream?" Natalia asked.

Horatio nodded, he gave a little smile to reassure her that he was okay.

Natalia smiled back, she didn't asked what he had been dreaming about, because she already knew that he wouldn't tell her.

Instead she told him to go home and get some sleep. She offered to drive him, but he declined.

Sitting in his car Horatio tried to get the demons inside his head to stop screaming and laughing at him.

He tried to get images of his father out of his head, but he couldn't.

He started the engine and drove home.

-I-

"Why do you and daddy go down to the basement everyday?" Raymond asked his older brother.

Horatio turned pale.

He couldn't tell Raymond that he was down there doing his dad and two of his dads friend some "favors", and that after every "favor" they'd beat the hell out of him.

"We just talk, that's all." Horatio said.

One of his dads friends were a doctor, the other was Horatio English teacher.

Horatio hated English, because going to school and knowing that you'd get and A in English because your teacher…

It hurt to think about it.

Horatio mother was a believer, his father wasn't.

Horatio wasn't sure about what he was, except for his daddy's toy.

If God really was as good as the bible said, then why did he let Horatio get hurt?

"They talk about you at school?" Raymond said.

Horatio and Raymond were on their way home, they were already late for dinner and they both knew that Horatio would be blamed.

"What do they say?" Horatio asked, why would anyone talk about him?

The only thing anybody could say was that he was a coward, he never fought with anyone, he rather got hit by his classmates.

They all knew that they could pick on him, because "the carrot top" never says anything, he never fights back and never tells the teachers what is going on.

Horatio never said a word in school, ever.

His classmates had no idea what his voice sounded like, they had never heard it.

"They say that you get hit by daddy. They say that you have scars." Raymond whispered.

Horatio sure had scars, but he never changed for gymnastics together with the other boys.

"Why do they think I have scars?" Horatio asked.

"I don't know, they just say you do." Raymond shrugged, "And they say that someone is hurting you because you have been limping for weeks now."

"Well, my leg just hurts, that all." Horatio said.

Raymond gave him a look that said no way.

Horatio ignored it, he had chosen to never talk about what their Father did to him, never tell anyone, that was his policy.

His mother ignored it, so why couldn't he?

As the two young boys had expected their father was furious.

"Where the hell have you two been?!" He shouted at them.

"Daddy, it's okay, we were just late because my teacher forgot the time." Raymond said.

"So you're saying that your teacher, that you had on your last lesson, forgot the time and that's why you quite later, and that made you late?" Dean asked his youngest son with a childish voice.

Raymond nodded.

The reason they had been late was because Horatio teacher had forgot the time, not Raymond's.

"Okay, well I guess that makes it understandable." Dean said, "But I still want to talk to you after dinner, boy." Dean said and pointed his finger towards Horatio.

Horatio said nothing, he hated being called "boy".

He had a name! His mother rarely said Horatio to him either, it was mostly just "son".

Right now he hated his parents, his mother eyes showed sympathy.

Sympathy, but no signs of trying to rescue her son.

And it didn't matter what lie Raymond said to their father, Horatio would always be blamed.

Always.

After dinner, he followed his father down to the basement.

"It's just you and me today, boy." Dean said.

Dean took out a horse whip, "I bought this today." He said.

Horatio said nothing.

"But, I'm not going to use it on you today, instead I want you to find something for me." Dean said and put the whip away.

Dean showed Horatio a big pile of glass.

"A window was broken today in the garage, and I scoped the pile up. What I forgot was that I dropped my wedding ring, right in this glass, and now you are going to find it for me." Dean said.

Horatio crouched down on his knees and starting searching through the glass.

His father sat smiling on a chair behind him.

Horatio could feel the glass cutting his hands and wrists.

"Work faster!" Dean growled and kicked his son in the back.

Horatio felt tears running down his cheeks. He tried his hardest, but his hands hurt too much.

"You are too damn slow!" His father shouted and grabbed Horatio by the neck.

Dean hit his son in the face with his right fist.

Horatio fell to the floor and Dean kicked him at his ribcage.

"I need that fucking ring!" Dean shouted and grabbed his sons arms.

Dean tossed his son at the car and Horatio screamed as his left wrist broke.

Dean ignored the sound of a bone breaking and opened the trunk.

He dragged Horatio on the floor and then tossed him in the trunk.

"No!!" Horatio screamed as he saw his father close the trunk door.

Dean smiled at him.

Dean waved his hand to his son as the click of the door being closed could be heard.

-I-

Horatio fell out of his bed and hit his head on the floor.

He grabbed his wrist to make sure that it wasn't broken.

As he sat on the floor, panting, he realized that he was in his house.

He had no memory of going to bed.

But then again, right now he wasn't sure he could even remember when it was his birthday.

He felt as he was almost choking on something, but there was nothing for him to choke on.

He was sweating and looked at his watch, it read 9:45.

Shit! He thought and quickly rose to his feet.

He was late, very late, and it was only a matter of time before his team would send out a search party.

He checked his cell phone and saw thirteen missed calls, all of them from member of his team.

He showered quickly and got dressed.

Just when he was about to leave his phone rang.

"Horatio." He answered his phone.

"Where are you? Are you okay? Did you get any sleep? Do you know that you are late?" Frank asked on the other end of the phone.

"Calm down, Frank. To answer your questions, I am on my way to work, I am fine, yes I got some sleep and I do know that I'm late, I didn't hear my alarm." Horatio said.

"Okay, good, Alex was about to send out a search party, and I think that she and Cal might kill you when you get here, no wait…" Frank said, Horatio could hear that someone was fighting over the phone with him.

"Horatio, do you have any idea how worried we've been?" He heard Alexx ask.

"I'm sorry." Horatio said.

"I know baby, just drive safe and Frank let me talk to him!… just drive safe and come see me in the morgue when you get here." Alex said.

"I will Alexx, bye." Horatio said, he could hear Frank complaining in the background.

Alexx said goodbye and hung up.

Oh, I'm in trouble. Horatio thought as he drove to work.

-I-

Horatio smiled, Alexx was scowling Eric and Ryan, for what he had no idea.

"Why didn't anybody come to me and tell me that he looked a zombie?" Alexx asked.

Horatio swallowed, now he knew what they were fighting about.

Eric, Ryan, Nat and Frank were the only ones who knew that Horatio had looked dead over the last couple of days, and usually they would have told Alexx, but this time they hadn't and now she was pissed that she had been kept in the dark when one of her dearest friends was obviously not feeling well.

"He said he was fine." Ryan said.

Alexx gave Ryan a death glare.

"Honey, he always says he's fine." Alex said.

"Okay, Alexx, we are sorry." Eric said.

Alexx smiled. "You're forgiven." She said.

Ryan and Eric smiled as they walked out of the morgue and wished Horatio good luck as he entered the morgue.

Alexx looked at Horatio.

"Okay, are you having nightmares?" Alexx asked.

Horatio looked shocked.

"Nightmares?" He asked.

"Yeah, don't think I don't know that you have a sleeping problem because of nightmares, Amy told me that, but she never told me what you were dreaming about." Alexx said.

Horatio felt sorrow rush over him as Alexx mentioned Amy.

Horatio had met Amy when he first moved to Miami, they had been engaged and had a son named Benjamin, who was two years olds, when both Amy and Benjamin had been shot by a robber.

The robber had been hired to kill a mother and child of a certain family, a rich family. But he had shot the wrong mother and the wrong child.

Benjamin had been killed just one week before his third birthday.

"I'm sorry Horatio, I didn't mean to bring her up." Alexx said, she knew that Horatio didn't like to talk about them, it hurt too much for him.

"It's okay, Alexx, don't worry about it." Horatio smiled.

Alex smiled back.

She was about to keep on scowling Horatio when Frank walked in with a shocked look on his face.

"Horatio I just got a called from Chicago PD." Frank said.

"Yeah, did something happen?" Horatio asked.

Horatio got a little worried. Suzie and Madison lived in Chicago. He hadn't seen his niece Madison in almost three years. Suzie was Madison's mother, she had an affair with Raymond many years ago and Suzie became pregnant with Madison. The last time they saw each other was when Madison had been sick in leukemia.

"They have arrested Suzie for murder." Frank said.

"What?! Who do they think she killed?" Alexx asked before Horatio got a chance.

"They don't think. They know that she killed Madison two days ago, when she was high with some junkie friends of her." Frank said.

Horatio just looked at Frank.

"No, I don't believe you." Horatio said.

"Horatio, I'm sorry, but Suzie confessed." Frank said.

TBC

AN: I hope that David Caruso doesn't read this and hates me because of all the thing I put his character through, lol.

I can promise you this though, it will be a happy ending!