A/N: Shorter chapters with more dialogue more exploration of how the character feels, this is what this story is going to be. Quantity doesn't necessarily mean quality, short vignettes are better suited to the chapters where I explore both Miranda's and Shepard's feelings. And I think I already established that Shepard doesn't want to go to therapy, her sessions will be slightly shorter than Miranda's sessions. Anyway if you love it, if you hate it this style in particularly let me know by simply reviewing. And before I continue yes you really should read Layers of the Heart otherwise you will be lost, so if you haven't go back read it and then read this chapter.

"I am aware of the statistics, the percentage of women who get raped on Earth," Miranda began. She was quiet for a moment as if gathering her thoughts, "I can crush a mech with my biotics, not to mention what I could do to the human body, and failing that I can shoot it's head off at 100 yards. I have all the tools to protect myself and yet I was rendered helpless, because I blindly trusted him. When he offered me my old job back I should have just turned it down and figured things out with Shepard. She would have never have trusted him."

"Shepard never trusted him, but you did. He took you in when you were still a teenager; he helped protect you from your father. He had done everything in his power to earn your trust, to earn your loyalty. You couldn't have known that he was capable of this. You may be genetically perfect but you do not have precognition Miranda."

"I'm not a stupid person; I should have known that there would have been consequences for betraying the Illusive Man that he wouldn't take me back without there being some serious repercussions. And I did know exactly what he was capable off, I've worked with him for most of my life, I've seen him do so much worse all in the name of the preservation of humanity. To think that he was not capable of this would be a lie; I was arrogant to believe that he still needed me."

"Didn't he? He did all this to ensure your loyalty to make sure you wouldn't betray him again."

Miranda gave a derisive snort, "Surely you don't really believe that do you Kelly?"

There was a smile, a small one, "You caught me, and it was but a simple ploy to boost your confidence."

A sardonic smile appeared on Miranda's face, it had been a nice attempt even if it had been easily seen through, "I was a consolation prize for the Illusive Man, or worse bait, and you've read Shepard's mission reports, she was always the target. Why settle for second best when you can have the best being forced under your command, to have Shepard firmly under your command, firmly loyal to you and whatever your cause maybe."

"And that bothers you?"

Miranda paused, "Maybe a while back it did but no longer."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

Miranda looked at Kelly studying her, "At the beginning I didn't understand why the Illusive Man placed so much importance on Shepard, to retrieve her body and then bring her back from the dead. There was much better ways to spend 4 billion credits," There was a choking noise and Miranda's eyes flicked over to Kelly. "Is there a problem?"

"Shepard's worth 4 billion credits?"

Miranda smiled, "You think she's worth less?" Kelly opened her mouth to protest that wasn't what she meant but Miranda continued anyway cutting her off, "Virtually unlimited resources were poured into reviving Shepard. It was needed when we found her she was nothing more than meat and bones, she was unrecognizable and we couldn't even tell what her sex was."

"You do good work."

"Damn good work," she repeated and there was an air of haughtiness in the reply. "But we've digressed from the issue at hand, I was skeptical at first that Shepard was that important, and I argued with the Illusive Man that we needed a contingency plan if Shepard didn't agree to work for us," Miranda looked away, "I suggest implanting her with the same control chip. I was wrong, Shepard is special. She doesn't look at a situation and think that it's impossible, and even if she can't think of some plan, she still wouldn't give up. If there is a way to save everyone, then you know Shepard will find it even whatever the cost. She rushed into save you and the crew as soon as she found out. I couldn't even get her to slow down; she risked the whole mission to save you. She risked even more coming to save me. To have her fully committed to anything, well you'd never lose with her on your side. His entire plan was to use me to get Shepard. "

"But he failed; Shepard realized that something was wrong."

"After she nearly raped me as well," the statement hung in the air, Miranda was not planning to elaborate further.

"That wasn't in the file." This was good; it had been the first time Miranda was openly discussing what had happened to her. It was a small breakthrough of sorts, most of the sessions had been mostly silence where they talked about things unrelated to what had happened to Miranda. But this wasn't what she had expected, to hear that Shepard had nearly physically assaulted Miranda.

Miranda studied Kelly, "Would you have put that in your mission report? The only thing that stopped her was her suspicions, from what I gather, Garrus, Jacob, and Kasumi didn't check in. Leng has always been a bit premature, had he not acted rashly Shepard would have gone through with it."

"She didn't know."

"She suspected, she could feel something was wrong but she ignored it, instead as soon as the opportunity arose she was on me, pushing me against a wall..." Miranda stopped her voice had cracked, and she tried to regain her composure. Finally after a moment she continued, "The next thing I know she's ripping off my clothes. And then it was that smirk, that arrogant smirk that Shepard has, did you know it is the exact same one the Illusive Man has?"

And suddenly it made sense, "So that's why you see the Shepard as the Illusive Man." She was met with a nod from Miranda. "All those times where it happened, what or who were you thinking of?"

"Shepard." Miranda said. "As irritating as the thought was, I wanted her to come save me. I wanted her to be my—"

"Your knight in shining armour? You may be giving Shepard too much credit; yes she's a hero maybe the best, but she didn't know. Do you think her actions would have been the same had she known?"

Miranda looked away embarrassed, the blood rising to her cheeks, "No, I heard what she did to the Illusive Man; I saw the bodies of everyone who...violated me. Shepard she hunted them all killing every last one of them."

"And right now she's giving you the space you have asked even though it is clear to everyone on board she wants to be here for you, she wants to help you through this. It's also clear to everyone aboard that she blames herself for what happened to you."

Miranda was quiet for a moment, "I don't want Shepard to see me like this."

"Like what?" There was no response, "Weak? Vulnerable? Insecure? You're going to have to elaborate Miranda, because I can't help you if you don't want me to help you."

Miranda smiled, "And Shepard? I can only imagine what her sessions are like."

"It's like pulling teeth without the anaesthetic," came the short reply, "But you've changed the subject."

The smile faded from Miranda's face, "Damaged. She's already seen me weak and vulnerable before, she's also seen me insecure. But I don't want her to look at me like she looks at Jack, like I'm damaged goods to be pitied. She told Jack that the reason that they could never be together was because they were both damagedgoods. I don't want her to look at me like that. Or look at me any differently than she did before. She saw what they did to me, they recovered some vids of me and—others. And with the cerebral implant it looked and...sounded like I was enjoying myself. I could see the disgust on her features. She then vomited in the corner of the hotel room."

"Was this after she had nearly 'raped' you?"

Miranda winced at what Kelly had said, "Yes."

"Could it have been possible she realized what she had nearly done?"

Miranda shrugged, "Who knows?"

"You would if you asked her. Though let's be fair, Shepard would much rather be shot at than talk about her feelings."

Miranda smiled for a moment before looking away for a moment"She told me that she loved me, but we had just been through a fight and I had told her I needed my space. She hasn't said it since, in fact she's avoided me most of the time."

"She's attempting to keep things professional."

"Shepard still goes around seeing everyone talking with them after every mission. But she avoids me, it's irritating."

"You know Shepard, if anything she just needs an excuse to come visit you; so give her one and then actually talk to her. That is of course if you personally want to talk to her, because I know you Miranda, if you wanted to talk to Shepard you would have by now."

Miranda looked away, she was right of course, the guilt could be equally shared between the two of them. It wasn't just Jade's fault she too was avoiding talking with Shepard. She glanced at the chronometer an hour had long since passed. "The session is over," she stated simply and she was met with a quick nod from Kelly who had also glanced at the chronometer.

She watched Miranda get up to exit the room,"Miranda, maybe next time we can actually talk about what happened to you."

Miranda froze, it was a subject that she hadn't broached with anyone on the ship, she had been grateful to Shepard who had kept the knowledge of what had happened to her on a strict need to know basis. The Normandy Crew didn't know, she had even with held the information from Joker. She had simply informed him and the crew that Miranda had run into a spot of trouble on a mission and had asked for her assistance. She would rather believe that she had needed help than for them to find out what had really happened to her. She didn't want to talk about it, she simply wanted it to go away. "There are vids, if you want to know what happened watch them," her tone was cold, colder than she had meant for it to be.

She studied Miranda for a moment, she had broached the subject much to soon, "Of course, but Miranda it wouldn't hurt to actually talk to the Commander, you're going to need to get it out of the way sooner or later," she was ignored as Miranda left the room giving no indication that she had heard the piece of advice.

A/N: And yes Miranda was raped, and before you all get on my case about how there is to much angst in my stories, I created a scenario and I intend for it to fully play out, whether or not the characters can resolve their differences is up to how this scenario ends up playing out. I refuse to let this play out in one chapter and call that a resolution because that is terrible story-telling especially giving what happened in Layers of the Heart.