LIES
"When you bite me… I'll die?"
Aryl shook his head, "You'll live. But you have to have my blood first, just a little so that you can survive it."
"Then I'll be like you?"
"No, you'll be different. You'll live forever, you'll crave the blood of My Kind. You'll belong to me. But you'll still be human. To make you one of us I'd have to do… other things."
I sat on the bed, shivering. I'd barely known Aryl before I'd agreed to let him have all of me. But being with him was the first time I'd ever felt loved. I didn't know why he wanted me, but anything he had to offer was better than what I'd left behind.
"Are you afraid of me?" he asked.
I told him that I wasn't. I reached out to touch his fangs.
Desire and hunger took over his gaze and froze me mid-reach. I was staring into the eyes of something more animal than human. While the hair rose on my neck, I realized that even though he wasn't moving, it felt like he was hunting me, and I wanted to be caught.
"Stay still," he said quietly, "I don't want to hurt you. Stay still so I can keep control."
In that moment, I wasn't afraid of dying. I was only scared of him killing me before I had the chance to feel his touch. I did what he'd ordered and fought down the urge to throw myself into his arms.
Finally he reached out and raised my chin, so that my neck was exposed. I could feel his warm, smooth fingertips against my veins.
"Perfect," was the last thing I heard before his lips found mine, and my heart found what it'd searched for my whole entire life.
Blood. Taste. Beg. More. Parts of my dream shocked their way through my brain and I startled awake.
"It's okay," Lux kissed my forehead and held me tighter. "You're awake. You're safe. It's okay. You're awake. I'm here."
I blushed, and said the same thing I said every evening, "Sorry. I'm sorry, Lux."
"Hey, we talked about this, remember?" He wrapped his legs around me, "If we can't stop the scary dreams, I'm just gonna have to keep kissing 'em away, that's all." He kissed me slowly and smiled, "See? Best job in the world."
He was so sweet, but I wondered if he'd take it all back if he knew what the dreams were about. Now that Aryl was gone, I dreamt of him every night. It was like my body wouldn't let my brain forget how much I'd always need blood, not even in my sleep. I always woke up like I was waking up from a fever.
"What else can I do to make it better? You want more hugs or hot coffee?"
"Hot chocolate?"
"I got you." He kissed me again before he got out of bed. "Hot chocolate and breakfast. It's kind of weird eating breakfast at night but I guess that's what working weird hours does.
Besides, I'm pretty sure I should feed you before I drag you out to the middle of nowhere."
I frowned, "I know I promised, but I think I should get to take it back. I don't want to go to 'nowhere'." I pulled the covers over my head. "You cheated."
"Cheated? What do you mean?" he laughed as he headed out of my bedroom and towards the tiny kitchen.
"Every time you asked me if I wanted to go, it was right after we'd… " I thought of all the ways he'd convinced me to go with him to 'nowhere' and blushed. "You didn't have clothes on and I couldn't think straight."
"I haven't been able to think straight since I met you, so we're even, babe."
"Stop being perfect or I'm breaking up with you."
He laughed again, "You first."
"-But we're gonna take it slow, right? I mean, I'll go to the cookout, and if they like me, then we'll tell them we're dating… in couple of weeks… or months… or years..."
He made me wait for a response until he came back from the kitchen. He handed me a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and got back into bed with our plate.
There were six eggs for him, a pile of bacon, and four pieces of toast with butter. I had one egg, and one toast. I knew from the difference in portions that he'd finally started noticing my eating habits, or lack thereof.
"I like you. That's all that matters."
His confidence in me turned my stomach upside down. Five months ago, I'd never have thought that Lux would want something real with me. Now he wanted to 'come out' to his friends for me and it was making me feel like crap. All the ways that Aryl had changed me made a future between us impossible. So how could I let Lux tell his friends the truth about us? I couldn't even tell him the truth about myself.
I pushed my breakfast around the plate, cut it into bits, lifted the fork to my mouth, and put it back down. Between the anxiety and the blood-withdrawal, I couldn't handle the thought of eating anything.
Lux reached over, slid his hands under my legs and pulled me closer to him. He carefully put the fork back in my hand, "How 'bout half?" he kissed my shoulder, "Please?"
"Sure. Okay." I said, trying to pretend it was no big deal.
I forced down a couple of bites to stop him from worrying, and immediately felt like I was going to throw up.
My phone rang and I jumped out from under the covers, "I have a phone call!" I said, grateful for an excuse to escape. "It's probably important." I grabbed my phone and ran to the bathroom; the only private place in my little apartment.
"Hey, Mr. Bannock," I leaned against the bathroom door. I'd never been so happy to have him on the phone.
"Hey, employee Numero Uno!" Mr. Bannock said, "How's it goin'?"
"-Hi, Gabriel!" Mrs. Bannock hollered in the background, "I haven't seen you all week! Come visit. We're right upstairs!" (They lived above the bookstore.) "We have lemonade and sandwiches. Hank, tell him about the sandwiches."
"They'll change your life. Pastrami and cream cheese, son. The Mrs. says I shouldn't have 'em because of my cholesterol-"
"I'm trying to keep you alive, Hank!" Mrs. Bannock hollered again.
"I'm seventy-five! How much longer do I hafta hold on, woman?!"
Mrs. Bannock giggled, "You are pretty old," she said. "Old fart. Now stop stalling and tell him the thing- the thing we talked about!"
Mr. Bannock sighed, "Well we know we're just your bosses, but you feel like family to us. So be careful with Lux, and listen to those commercials. 'No' means 'no', and whatnot. Hear?"
"Please, no!" I worked on dying as I realized I was getting a 'sex talk'.
"It's none of our business, we know. But your generation's kinda… "
"-Ratchet," Mrs. Bannock shouted. "I know what ratchet means!"
"Right! So be careful, okay?"
"Mr. B., you don't have to-"
"-I know, I know. I'm 'up in yo' bidness'. But we love you. You've always kept to yourself and we're glad you made a new friend. So whatever you choose to do, just be safe with your heart, okay? That's the part that matters most."
"-He's cute though, so don't be too safe!" Mrs. Bannock grabbed the phone, "That's how I got Mr. Bannock!"
"Okay, I didn't need to know that," I put my head in my hands while Mrs. Bannock giggled.
"And if he can make a good sandwich then hold onto 'im!" she said, "Two things make a marriage rock solid; trust, and a hearty sandwich. Remember that."
"What about my good looks?" It was Mr. Bannock's turn to shout.
"I'm about to show you how good you look! Don't play with me, boy!"
Mr. Bannock grabbed the phone back, "Gotta go, son! Call us! Love ya!"
I ended the call and shook my head. The Bannocks were so crazy, but I definitely loved them too.
Before I worked at Gently Read, I would wander around the bookstore every night until it closed. It was after Aryl disappeared, and I hated thinking about going home to my new, empty apartment, alone.
The Bannocks didn't even know me, but I guess they could see how lonely I was. They never asked too many questions, or tried to dig too deep. Instead they made up the nightshift so I could hang out until the sun came up. I barely even sold any books, because barely anyone ever came in. The night shift was charity, and I knew it. And I was grateful for it. I was so glad I had them in my life: awkward sex talks and all.
"Everything okay?" Lux asked as I opened the door.
"Yeah. That was the Bannocks. They were just checking on me."
He nodded slowly and glanced over my ribs and waist, the places that showed I was way too thin. The phone call hadn't distracted him from being concerned. He reached for me as I climbed back into bed, curling himself around me.
"You know you can tell me anything right?" He ran his fingertips over my hip bones, "No matter what? Even about the dreams."
"I know," I leaned up to kiss him and it hurt that I was keeping secrets, "but I'm fine. Everything's fine. I promise."
He kissed me back and I felt his fingertips slide down the notches in my spine. I could feel how badly he wanted the truth, but I also knew he wouldn't push too hard.
Every time he pushed for answers, I couldn't help but shut down. So he'd bite his tongue and let me keep what I was hiding to myself.
Little did I know, all of that was about to change. By the time our trip was over, he wouldn't accept any more of my lies.
FADE
"Don't worry," Lux said as he put the car in 'park', "I'm not gonna leave you by yourself. And besides, they'll think you're awesome. I promise."
We'd finally arrived at the campground: a dark wilderness that wasn't visible through the thick forest we'd navigated.
Lux kissed me in the last seconds of privacy we had behind the dark-tinted windows. The moment he pulled away, I was hurting for him already, and dreading the fact that I wouldn't be able to touch him for the whole time we were there.
The pain in my sigh was enough for him to know exactly what I was thinking.
"I hate it too. But it's gonna be worth it." He kissed me slowly as he ran his fingers through my hair, "After this, I get to let everybody know I'm yours."