CHAPTER 2
All I want to do is go home and sleep. The simulation wore me down to the core. I wonder what faction or factions Beatrice got. Maybe she is like me; Divergent. Just thinking the name sounds too dangerous. Tori made it sound like it really was dangerous. I wonder how she knows about the Divergent. Is she one? Did she know someone? I will have to find her one day and ask.
I walk on a newly settled sidewalk down past the Hub where tomorrow, I will make my choice of what faction I will choose. I could stay in Abnegation, be able to see my parents whenever I please, be selfless, probably settle down and live a safe life. But is safe fun?

I know I don't want to leave Beatrice. I will take into consideration her aptitude test result as well. I could never easily leave my best friend for 16 years.

I wish there was someone to talk to about this, but the decision is all my own. I know I rule out Candor and Amity because I lie and living carelessly to me is stupidity at its finest. Abnegation has only one flaw; Andrew lives here and so does Jackson. They don't stay as often as they used to when they visit, but I still cannot look at either without hatred.
There always is Erudite with Louis, but most Erudite trade knowledge for emotion. Emotion to them is irrational.

And then there is Dauntless. I do have the will to at least try to survive initiation. I know I could probably muster up some anger deep within me to fight, but would my parents hate me for transferring? Or even having these thoughts?

I soon make it to the Abnegation section of the city. I walk with heavy feet into my home and notice how many people are actually there for the first time. All of my brothers are home. Even my transfer brothers.
Jacob and Jayson sit on the floor laughing at a joke I only heard the punchline to. They wear bright red and yellow accompanied by smiles. Louis is in a blue shirt and blue jeans. His glasses are perched on top of his head and he too is smiling. Tyler and Blake are in the kitchen helping my mother cook. Alex is near my father discussing some article in the newspaper. Andrew, unfortunately is the first to see me.

I look at him the way I would at trash. He has become accustomed with how I look at him and does not protest.

Soon Jayson see's me and engulfs me into his giant bear hugs. Soon Jacob, Tyler, Blake, and Alex all embrace me and kiss my cheek or forehead. They all love me and I love them too.

Jayson and Jacob are twins who are 21 now. Soon follows Alex at 20, Tyler at 19, Louis at 18, and with Blake and Tyler at 17, though they are months apart. Andrew is 22.

My mother soon comes and also embraces me while my father comes and kisses me on the forehead.

"Arn't you home early, sweetheart?" my mother asks me sounding concerned.

"The serum for the Test made me sick, so the woman sent me home," I say politely. I probably look sick from being so tired because my entire family buys the story. Can I tell any of them that I am Divergent? Are any of them? Will they hate me for what I am? Then again, I don't even know what it is I am.

I am still lost in thought when the doorbell rings. Tyler goes to open the door. When I see who it is, I literally can feel my heart sink into my toes, tempting to sink into the floor.
It is Jackson.

Jackson and Andrew are in the same house with me. This cannot happen again.

I excuse myself quickly while everyone is greeting Jackson. Jackson looks at me and smiles crookedly. I take a chance and glance at Andrew who looks at me and looks back down. At first I think he feels ashamed for what he did three years ago but then I recall what he said to me.
"Annabelle, let it go. Pretend nothing ever happened."
"But Andrew, how could you just let him do that to me! You're supposed to stick up for me but instead you encouraged him and he took away my innocence!"

Then Andrew through a lamp.

I quickly walk upstairs into my room, anger building inside me as I take every step. I step into my room and quickly close the door and set down my backpack. I look through my window which faces the Abnegation street outside and also Beatrice's window. Sometimes we talk on the phone and just sit at our windows so we can see each other. Beatrice is the only one who will understand how I feel right now. I pick up the phone in my room and dial swiftly. Her number is muscle memory to me.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end of the line asks.
"Hi! This is Annabelle, is Beatrice home? I was hoping to speak with her for a little."
"Oh hello, Annabelle. Yes just give me a moment," says Beatrice's mother.
In a few moments I hear my best friends comforting voice and I also see her come to her window. She looks strained.

"Hey Bells," Beatrice says to me, sounding as strained as she looked, "is something wrong?" I sigh. "All my brothers are home. Even Jackson is here." I immediately see her whole demeanor change. First she looks horrified. Then she looks angrier than anything. "My mother said your family invited us for dinner. I'm coming over right now instead. Be there in five."

In less that five minutes, I hear the doorbell. I swiftly walk downstairs to meet Beatrice, her brother, mother, and father. I great them all with a smile and Beatrice with a hug. She quickly mutters in my ear, "Sorry, they all said they would rather come now and spend time with you all." "No worries," I say back with a smile, "just glad you're here."

"Always," Beatrice smiles back. She then glares at Andrew.
My mother and Mrs. Prior go into the kitchen to begin dinner. Mr. Prior and my father start discussing matters along with Alex, Tyler, and Andrew. The rest of my brothers sit politely on the couches and make talk about whose been doing what. Beatrice takes my hand and guides me to my room and shuts the door.

"I'm so sorry," she says to me, "If this weren't Abnegation, I could have punched them for you." I just nod. "Thanks, but trust me, I probably would have first."

Beatrice bites her lip. "I have to talk to you." I look up at her. She sounds very serious and nervous. "Go ahead."

"My test results... there was something wrong with them..." her gaze is cast down to her feet. My heart rate speeds up. I hope she says she is Divergent so I will not have to endure this fight alone. But then I question myself. Would I really wish that upon my only friend?

I look up her once more from where I sit. "There was something wrong with mine too. I, um... I got three results." Beatrice looks up at me shocked. She then sits next to me on my bed and looks me straight in the eyes. "Are you... er.. are you also..." she begins to stumble for words. Something registers in my mind. She said also. Suddenly I blurt out, "Divergent..."

It is more of a statement question than a thought. Beatrice gives out a sigh of relief. "The woman who did your Test did mine too. She told me my results were inconclusive and began muttering about what I was too fast for me to keep up." I nod because I understand. It's what happened to me.

"I got Abnegation, Erudite, and Dauntless," I say. Once again she gives out a sigh of relief. "You know Bells, I'm beginning to think we are long lost sisters because of how alike we are." I let out a little laugh-sigh in relief that I will not have to do this alone. Beatrice and I have always had the same train of thought. I guess the train tracks root down to the core, even into what faction, or in this case factions, we belong in. "What are we going to do, Tris? I mean, I could imagine staying in Abnegation but I don't think I'd ever be truly happy."

Beatrice nods in understanding at me. She never looks at me like a kicked puppy. I imagine that if I told someone what really did happen, they would look at me like that, but Beatrice has never looked at me that way. I asked her once about it and she said, "You are the strongest person I know. What happened to you - that was wrong, but to look at someone like a kicked puppy, they actually have to be weak, and you're just not."

"We could transfer to Erudite," she says. "We've always been smart and learned quickly. The only thing is, is that we'd be robots."

I let out a laugh and she does too. It's easy to talk to Beatrice.
"There's always Dauntless," she says. The word hangs in the air.
"Do you think we would survive initiation?" I ask. I know I could muster up some anger inside me to pull through, but could Beatrice? She's always been strong and brave, but I don't know if she would do it.

"Bells, if it will get you away from Jackson and Andrew, I would do it. I will and would do it a thousand times for you. We're always in this together, down to the last pin drop. And plus, we've both liked Dauntless anyways, right? And they could teach us to fight and defend ourselves."
She makes a good point. I chime in, "Plus Dauntless guys are hot." She grins widely at me.

The grin fades as quickly as it came. Her voice drops low. "What are we, Bells? What does it mean... to be... Di-" she gets cut off right before she can finish by a knock on the door.
"Annabelle, Beatrice, it's time for dinner," my mother says from the other side of my door.

Soon enough, everyone is settled into their seats for dinner. My father sits at the head of the table along with my mother on his left, Mr. Prior on his right. Next to Mr. Prior is his wife, Beatrice on her left, and Caleb. Next to Caleb is Louis, who sits next to Blake. I sit on the right of my mother next to Jacob, who sits on the left of Jayson, then Jackson, followed by Andrew, and last but not least Tyler. The grown ups, all but Beatrice, Caleb and I, make conversation. Louis makes funny faces and wiggles his eyebrows at me and Jacob pokes me side occasionally to make me laugh.

Jacob leans in near me and asks, "So have you made a decision yet, Bells?" I swallow my piece of bread and sip a glass of water.

"Maybe. There's still a lot to think about." He nods. Jacob, Louis, and Jayson know exactly how I feel. They were me years ago. He leans in closer and says so quietly so that only I can hear, "They'll still love you no matter what faction you choose. Heck, Louis chose Erudite and he's here eating dinner. But, then again, Dad's a council member and can make things happen. But, no matter what, we'll love you." I smile at him. Maybe he'll still love me, maybe Mom will still love me, but could my father love me after I betray his faction? Would Tyler, Alex, and Blake forgive me? My father has been always kind and caring, but he's so Abnegation to the core, I don't think he would be happy to have his last child be a transfer. How could I leave them?
My father then starts talking to Mr. Prior about Mr. Eaton. Marcus Eaton is a fellow colleague and council member along with my father and Mr. Prior. He had a son who transferred. His name was Tobias, but he didn't associate with many people. I feel like there is more to his story than I've heard.

Soon dinner comes to an end, and my father says to me, "Annabelle, I believe we should let you go to your room. Tomorrow is a big day for you, and you will need to get some rest." I nod, "Just let me help finish cleaning up," I say in the hopes of not feeling guilty for the choice I have made with Beatrice to go to Dauntless.

I offer to clean the dishes while everyone is in the living room chatting quietly. Beatrice and Caleb left to go home, but their parents are still here. I create a process of washing, drying, and hanging for the plates, like a procession line. I hear footsteps and I think it's Tyler coming to help me clean the plates like we used to before he moved out but it's not. It's Jackson.
My heart drops to my stomach. I am alone, in a kitchen with the person I hate the most in the world.

He drops his cup into the sink and smirks at me. "You know Annabelle, I can't wait until your a faction member. Then I can have access to you full time."
I swallow back bile in my throat. Images flash in my mind. Me backing up into the wall, "Jackson, stop. Get away from me. Andrew tell him to stop, please." I'm pleading. Jackson touches my shoulder and pulls my shirt to the side and rubs his hand against my bare skin. "Andrew, can't hear you right now. He's drunk." Reflexively, Andrew makes an intoxicated comment, and passes out. "Jackson get away from me," I say, tears welling up in my eyes. Jackson throws himself against me slamming me between the wall and him. "You will do what I say!" he yells at me.

Rape. He raped me. And now he's standing here, three years later, with no one but my eldest brother as a witness. The worst part is, he wasn't even drunk. I didn't find out until the next morning when Andrew came up to me and said, "You tell no one about last night. If you even think about it, you'll regret it." I ran into my room and cried more than I ever had in my entire life.

I shiver. Thinking about that night just gives me chills and I feel like I might scream.

"Get away from me," I say. He looks at me, then stalks towards me. "I'd watch your tone with me. You know what I can do to you."
I hold my tongue. I do know what he can do to me. After than night, he never forced me into sex but did kiss me out of force and touched me. I hate him. I hate him to the pits of hell and back. I push past him and quickly but silently run to my room and shut the door. I have to get out of here. Even if it means I have to leave my family. Even if it means I let my parents down. Even if it means they won't love me. Jacob will love me still. So will Louis and Jayson. I can count on them. I can count on Beatrice. We are going to a new faction together. For the the first time, I am actually happy that Jackson talked to me. He reminded me how much anger I have built inside me.
I dial Beatrice's phone number. In three rings, she picks up and comes to her window.

"I'm in for sure. I can't stay here with Jackson and Andrew having access to find me whenever. Dauntless it is."
She grins widely at me. "Together," she says.
"Together," I repeat, "goodnight, Beatrice. And thank you, for doing this with me."

"We will do everything together, Annabelle. Always. And maybe, you'll see that cute Dauntless boy you were talking to." she says. I see her wink and grin back. With that, she hangs up. I close my curtains and sit on my bed.
I will not give Jackson the satisfaction of being able to 'have me' whenever he pleases. Dauntless will teach me how to fight. And when I can fight, I will find him. I'll show him who he messed with. I will no longer be the coward, little, Abnegation girl everyone knew.
I will be brave.

I will be Dauntless.