Disclaimer part 2: I do not own family guy, its afflations', or fox news, nor 20th century fox. Family guy was created by Seth McFarlane, American dad is also owned by him. I love his show and this is my way of saying thanks. Also I have no intention of killing or assassinating anyone at any point of time, finally, my O.C's name has been changed to keep my identity a secret. I own my O.C. sit back and enjoy my fanfic.

Chapter 2: the teacher.

Stewie looked around to see where Brian's voice may be coming from. "WHAT THE DEUCE?! BRIAN ARE YOU HERE?!". "I see you have discovered my secret safe room or 'the vault' as I call it. The vault, Stewie, is where all you'll need to get to quagmire and kill him, he'll be tough to get to and you're sure as hell not going in there with your weapons. One final thing, wait make that two things, I need you to do, find my lover, he's a trained assassin and he'll teach you everything you need to know to kill each and every one of his subordinates, also he looks like me except pointy ears, cool gloves, and (cutest of all) purple lashes under his eyelids. And number 2, avenge me Stewie. Kill that son of a bitch and make sure that he suffers the way I suffered, make them pay, make them ALL pay, my legacy is with you Stewie, goodbye, forever." The message ended. As Stewie looked at all the weaponry that Brian had, he saw the address to his boyfriend's house, and to jaspers house as well (go figure). "This will serve me well, don't worry Brian I shall kill quagmire" he said as he yelled an evil laugh, he packed the essentials, turned on the androids, and set off for jaspers.

He ranged the doorbell "who is it?" jasper clisp. "It's me, Stewie." He answers. Jasper opens the door and sees 10 year old (yes he's WAY older than you think) "oh, hi Stewie, man you've gotten BIG!, oh by the way Riccardio and I can't thank you enough for making my lifespan longer, how can we ever repay you?" jasper rattled, " I need to find a Josh Adams. He's Brian's' boyfriend," jasper looked at Riccardio, who shrugged, then looked back at him. "Who's he again?" Stewie slapped his forehead, and then looked back at him. "Let's see here now, greyish-black fur, birthmark lashes under his eyes, pointy ears, big black and white nose, gloves with the symbol for death on them. Ring a bell" Stewie replied with an annoyed look. "Oh yeah the musician josh! My god I haven't seen him since the funeral! Alright I'll help, only because he's fun to be around, scary, but fun, just like a haunted house." Jasper took Stewie to Louisville. When they crossed the Ohio River, Stewie screamed out. "WHY IN BLOODY HELL ARE WE IN KENTUCKY?!" then jasper yelled "BECAUSE SILLY JOSH MOVED BACK TO KENTUCKY TO HIS OLD FAMILY AND FRIENDSTO SUPPORT HIM! See what I did, you scream I scream"

When they got to the 23rd district they came upon an unusually big house. "now when we knock on the door don't try to anger him, trust me." On the doorstep you could hear him sing 'Adelaide's lament' "when we get off the train for Niagara, and she could hear church bells chime" DING! "Holy shit I can hear church bells chime, wait, it's the door." DING-DONG! "Yeah alright, keep your shirt on I'm coming!" he slammed open the door with his paw. "Oh hi Jasper! And uhhhhhh, Stewie right?" "Hi josh, may we come in?" in a French accent josh bowed to him and said "Moi Bein sur! Messier jaspear and messier Stewie! Come in come in!" as both of them walked in we saw a lot of French, German, and Italian décor. "You know, I've never been to your place at all josh, possibly because you probably had sex on every piece of furniture in your house." Jasper chuckled, Stewie licked his mouth seductively. NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW THAT, WE ONLY HAVE SEX IN OUR BED OR IN MY MAN-CAVE!" josh yelled. "I thought that every week he goes drinking with his dog friends." Stewie butted in. "Alright down to the business at hand, why did you come all this way to Kentucky?" "The little devil made me, he told me you were a former C.I.A trained assassin that had a personal vendetta towards quagmi" jasper quickly cupped his hands over his muzzle. In josh's hand a coca cola bottle was leaking badly as something stabbed right through it.

Josh flipped his blade back, releasing more coke, and calmly said "How the hell does that little human football know about me being a trained assassin?" Stewie quickly intervened, "Because I want to kill quagmire". Both of them turned their heads towards Stewie. "And you're the only person in the world that'll help me." Josh sighed, cracking opened another can of coke. "The journey will be rough. You think you can handle it?" josh said. "Give it to me, I'm not afraid". 'Son of a bitch another star wars line.' Jasper thought. "Oh you will be… you will be." "I need to know, how did you find out that quagmire was the killer?"

*FLASHBACK*

Quahog Rhode Island, March 2008. Narration by Josh Adams.

We were in Joes house, with me, Joe, and Cleveland, trying to figure out who wanted to kill Brian and why. "alright, how he died was a hit and run, but also a shot to the head, apparently Brian survived being run over and the killer had to kill him before he escaped, the bullet we found lodged in his head was a .45 caliber ACP, also multiple trauma in the arms, throat, stomach, and the head, whoever it was, wanted him to die and made sure of that he was dead." Joe explained. "But question is, who would want to kill Brian, what were his or her motives, is it love homicide or just plain manslaughter. Gentlemen, we got a classic case of overkill. Suspects anyone?" it might've been mayor west, he could've finally gone insane and killed Brian for making him take back the gay-marriage law." Cleveland said. "Well I think it was Lois, when was tired of Brian hitting on her all the" that's where I drew the line. "There's a big fat hole in your accusation officer Swanson the size of a 200mm artillery. I'm his boyfriend, how the hell can he be hitting on Lois if he's gay and not in love with her. "How do you know if he truly loves you?" Joe replied. "Because my asshole is loose enough to put a fist through it, he had sex with me on multiple accounts." Ok josh, the M. to the I. "I say its quagmire, I've wanted to kill him for hurting Brian, and now I've found a reason, bye!" he grabbed my arm. "Not so fast, we need evidence." We went over to quagmires, "sweet!" I yelled. "What you found something?!" I quickly put the 'thing' in my backpack. "No!" "Guys come quickly!" Cleveland yelled inside quagmires' house. "Are you nuts Cleveland?! You'll get us caught!" I yelled as I entered the house. You're the one stealing his sex toys!" touché Cleveland "AAAAAHHHHHH!" I screamed. "Josh! Are you ok?!" Joe asked as he busted in. crying my eyes out I pointed to what I screamed about. "Mother of god" Joe said as he looked at quagmire's prized possession. Cleveland threw up as Joe shined a light on the thing. It was Brian's right ear, which had a chain attached to it; his six rainbow earrings all stand untouched.

"There's no doubt about it now, quagmire killed Brian". I gone in to a closet, still sobbing, pulled out a bomb and Set the clock for one minute. "Guys let's get out of here, like now." Joe grabbed the abominable trophy and put it in a plastic bag. Everyone left just in the nick of time. "What's the hurry josh?" Joe said. I pulled out the detonator. "We have enough evidence so…3…2…1…" I hit the detonator. The night sky lit up as quagmire's house into a fireball so powerful in made an aurora. 2 hours later at the fuzzy clam, I saw him, quagmire, murderer, I snuck up behind him pointed a gun at him. "Whoa man take it easy, wait, you look familiar, did I met you?" I shot him in the knee. "Josh Adams, assassins division, C.I.A, Glenn quagmire, your under arrest for the murder of Brian griffin."

sorry for this being a short chapter. next chapter will be alot more romantic.