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Scotch Thoughts

Welcome to America Mr. Brand

Relaxing back into the cushion of the couch with what he was sure was a hard earned scotch in one hand and rubbing the back of his neck with the other, Lee tried to work out the remainder of the kinks from his check up with "Dr. Pain". He yawned. He was sore and tired, but as he surveyed his surroundings, he tried to find the familiar rest that he was used to feeling in his apartment at the end of the day. "Perfect! Everything in his life was perfect," he told himself but for some reason the satisfaction felt almost wooden. Why?

He could easily reflect on the circumstances of this last case with pleasure. He now had a partner that was becoming better and better with each case they worked together on. Amanda sure was growing in her confidence with the job. When he had first met her, she had been a lot like the vacationing MI6 accountant they had just hosted, James Brand. She had come across as overly enthusiastic and completely out of her element. Back then he had thought that she had been entertaining herself with ridiculous fantasies about being a spy. Now, she really was a partner. She even had the chutzpah to use his clearance to conduct searches on her own. Actually, in this case both she and Brand had been right, and Lee had been able to recognize that there was something to their ideas and follow their instincts. Gone were the days of the cocky, lone Scarecrow, huh? He was beginning to become aware that working with Amanda was causing him to grow too. Maybe he was maturing as an agent? Maybe he was becoming more like Emily, seasoned and wise, -a mentor. He could see that others had something to offer as well. Hadn't Emily told him almost a year ago that he had needed to improvise as he worked with Amanda because she might have something to offer? This week he had even been able to use some of the things Brand had suggested, like the cobra death grip. Haha! Now that was funny. He had actually made that one up, and yet it had worked. It had been the only thing that Brand had made up. Maybe if you believe in someone enough you can begin to see the gold in each person? Now he was beginning to sound like Amanda, which wasn't a bad thing; Amanda did have a lot to offer, didn't Lee know that? And when she poked her index finger in his chest and called him "Big Fella", he had no choice but to take her ideas seriously. He was glad that Brand hadn't been a grabber. Maybe the week would have been simpler if James had just been a boring accountant like he had first surmised, but then, on the other hand, he had helped stop a huge international financial fiasco and the whole case had brought more credence to Amanda at the Agency, and Lee knew that Amanda deserved that.

Lee swung his feet up onto the couch and stretched out his long legs. It was hard to get comfortable with the way his body ached. He was exhausted. He tossed back the remainder of his scotch and placed the glass on the sofa table behind him. Now if only he could get some sleep. He had been having the darndest time falling and staying asleep lately. He had started having such vivid dreams recently and they were becoming disturbing. But at that moment he thought he just might be able to.

Moments later, he awakened with a start. It was those damned dreams that weren't letting him sleep once he had finally fallen asleep. They were so unsettling. Amanda was often in them. In the one that had just awakened him, Amanda had been in terrible danger and he had known he wouldn't be able to get to her in time. He was always able to wake himself up from them and reorient himself to reality. But the content of the dream would hang around him for hours afterwards. At least this one wasn't like the other type of dream he often had. Those were a little harder to shake late at night…. Those often required a cold shower and then it took forever to fall back to sleep and made showing up for work and seeing Amanda in the morning rather awkward for him; after all Amanda was his partner and friend. She was also the mother of two young sons. He had no business having dreams like that about her. It was just because he was spending too much time focused on his job and working with Amanda. He knew what he needed to do in order to shake those dreams.

He reached behind him for the phone. He should probably call Leslie right now. That was another part of his life that was shaping up perfectly. Now he had the perfect girlfriend and things were going smoothly. It had been a couple of weeks since they'd had dinner together for the first time. That had been an enjoyable evening. After just a couple of dates he could confidently say that she was a beautiful woman inside and out. She seemed like the kind of woman he could have a real relationship with. But they hadn't been able to take it any further than those first few evenings together because Leslie travelled a lot with her job as a translator. She had only been in DC on a short assignment, although she came to the Capitol often enough to make a relationship work, he figured. In fact, she would be back in a couple of days for a whole week. Actually, the fact that she wasn't around a lot was probably a good thing. It gave him more time to focus single mindedly on his job. He and Amanda often had to spend long hours on cases, and it would be stressful to think about juggling the time he needed to be working with Amanda and time set aside for a relationship with Leslie. Yes, this was a perfect set up. It would leave him with time to devote to each.

So if everything was turning out so perfectly, why couldn't he sleep? It was becoming chronic. It wasn't due to the stress of his job. He found work enjoyable and energizing at the moment. Maybe he could attribute it to this new kind of relationship he was trying to build with Leslie? This was new territory for him, and he wasn't sure how to proceed. Maybe he was experiencing anxiety about that and it was keeping him awake, and maybe the lack of sleep was causing him to feel wooden when he wasn't distracted by work? He was pretty darn sure that this relationship with Leslie was the right thing to pursue. Leslie was perfect for him. He just needed to relax and have more fun with her, that was it. When was the last time he could remember having a fun evening out? His thoughts kept going back to that New Year's Eve party at the Russian Embassy last year. It wasn't a date actually, but Amanda had looked fabulous and Lee had really enjoyed himself. He bet that if he'd had Leslie with him in a situation like that it could be one of the most enjoyable evenings of his life.

Maybe he just needed to think about moving his relationship with Leslie forward during this next visit. He just needed to get over his concern about how to make that happen though. He had decided that he wanted to find someone he could possibly have a long-term relationship with, someone who was not just beautiful but also intelligent and looking for something stable themselves. He knew what to do with the women he used to spend time with, but this was different and it seemed difficult and he couldn't figure out why. This was new territory; maybe that was what was keeping him up at night? He found himself yawning now and closed his eyes. It would be good to break up the work with some fun with Leslie. He needed to find a way to not be so wrapped up in work and Amanda.

Wrapped up in Amanda? The ringing of the phone in his lap added to the jarring effect of this last thought. He grabbed the receiver as if it was assaulting him. "Oh, hello! Leslie!"

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