A/N: Alright, here we are with chapter 2! I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful review. I would also like to say that the song some mentioned for the last chapter is actually really inspiring and I enjoy it very much. This one, as promised, is longer. It's still in the 'past' thing, but this is the last one. The plot will pick up in chapter 4. And thanks to my brother I actually have it (mostly) planned out. Still no beta... Please enjoy.

BLACK WILL

Chapter 1: B is for Barbwire

There have been times when I have pictured myself drowning. I am surrounded by nothing but dark water and the few air bubbles escaping my mouth. I feel as if I have lost everything and everyone. My eyes are just barely open, though I wonder why I do not close my eyes in this dream. Sometimes, I wonder if this is even a dream. It feels so real, every little thing affecting me in the way only reality could.

Reality. The very word seems unreal to me some days. My life has all but been flipped upside down. Though I enjoy my new friends and ever growing family, I feel as if this is leading to something much darker than even my tutor realizes. Just call it intuition.

That intuition of mine, the thing looked so highly upon is currently tormenting me in this endless dream of drowning. I try to call out, but my body refuses to move. It's as if I'm chained to an iron ball and not even my intuition can do anything but tell me I am going to die. Then is fades to white, or sometimes black and I awake in my own bed perfectly fine.

But sometimes I don't wake up. Sometimes I am forced to continue to float there lifelessly, as if in my own hell. And, if I float there long enough, I can feel blood rushing through my veins as I feel like I am suddenly on fire. I break the surface of water and enter a new hell. I still don't breath for it is now useless. I do not remove my clothes or chains, I merely guide myself to the battlefield. I step lightly on the bridge and my vision blurs as my mind forces itself awake.

When I dream of drowning, I often wish they had just killed me so that I could truly enter that realm of white and sometimes black. So that I would never have to see what I have done.

Nana patted her son's head gently as she left him at his elementary school. Her child wasn't use to being away from her, even though this would mark his third year of school. Ever since she had almost lost him, Nana made sure that she always knew where he was and that someone she trusted was with him. This resulted in him growing to be a innocent boy that many took advantage of. He wasn't use to this cruel world even though he had seen it at it's finest.

His memories of the time in the box had long forsaken him. From time to time he would dream of his imprisonment but nothing a few hiccups wouldn't cure. This was often brought upon by visits from one of the police officers. It was the woman who had brought him home that faithful night. They were still trying to understand how the killers were slain and Tsunayoshi was their only way to find out. However, he was only three at the time and they believed that the trauma had probably been locked tightly away in his mind.

But the woman still came to visit every now and then. Other than his mother and father, she was the only one allowed to take Tsuna around and see the world. The officer could understand his limited freedom. If the cult still existed, there was a chance they would target the boy once more. The people who ran it were twisted and would do anything in their power to ensure that there was no survivors if one of their hideouts were ever found.

That was probably when the child began to be looked down upon by his peers. The case he was involved in was highly confidential, so only a few knew what happened let alone his involvement. To his classmates, he was just a spoiled child. Even his teachers dreaded having him in their class. What was worse then that though was the fact that no one seemed willing to help him. His mother acknowledged that Tsunayoshi was slower at learning than others, but that didn't mean he wasn't intelligent. Once he had a grasp of the assignment he could work on it effectively. But Nana couldn't do anything about it, that was just how things was.

Slowly, her son would be known as No-Good Tsuna, a nickname that would probably stick with him all his life. Nana didn't let that get her down though, because the child would always smile and laugh with her. She would teach him how to cook and he would jump at the chance to learn. Even the nice officer would teach him a few things.

Being raised by two kind women is probably how Tsunayoshi developed his peaceful ways and strong will to protect ones beliefs. His mother would be everything and more that a child could ask for. While the officer would be like an older sister that drilled the rights and wrongs into his head. Though slightly broken at the empty slot of his father, Tsuna tried his best for those two.

One day, when the nice lady came to pick him up, she found him curled up beside the stairs crying. She was startled. The boy she knew only cried openly when something truly frightened him. Like the young pup that would visit him. The officer herself thought it was funny but could understand the child's fear from such an animal, having slight fear of animals herself.

"Tsu-kun?" She asked gently. "What's wrong?" The boy remained silent. He didn't want his family to know that he was being bullied. He had to hold his head high so that they would know he could handle himself. He was already eight for heaven sakes! He shouldn't be crying just because people made fun of him and threatened to beat him up. Though he never understood it. Why did everyone want to hurt him. Some of the nicest people seemed to go bi-polar in his presence...

Sniffling, Tsuna shook his head and stood up. The officer took his hand lightly and they headed back home. The boy himself though, made sure not to make eye contact with anyone and keep his head down low. Though he didn't know what he did, he must have done something wrong to be bullied so he felt ashamed of himself.

"Ah, welcome home you two." His mother greeted happily only for her smile to falter at the sight of her child. "Tsu-kun? Is something wrong?" The boy just shook his head and quickly raced past the two woman to his room. Once the door was locked he curled up into a ball on his bed and tried to stifle his cries.

"You're such an idiot!"

"Go away! We don't like you!"

"Tsunayoshi stop sleeping in class!"

"If I ever see you try to hurt my brother again, I'll kill ya!"

NO! Stop it! Please stop! What did I do wrong?!

"He's such a useless child..."

"I heard he's failing art! How can anyone fail art?!"

"His mother must be so disappointed."

Mother... I'm sorry...

"Well have you seen his father? I don't know about you but that's one messed up family!"

Don't... Don't bring dad into this...

"What about that officer? Huh?! What about my children?!"

"Why does he get to be so well protected?!"

Because, because something bad happened...!

"Why did he get to survive..."

STOP IT! Tsuna's eyes shot open as he awoke from the tormenting voices of the past week. However, he had only entered another one. Gazing around, the child could only see black. He tried to move his head to get a better view but found that he only hit something solid. It felt like cardboard but with water down it. Only this was much thicker than water. The smell assaulted his nose as he was sent back to the corners of his mind.

He could hear himself screaming, as he struggled against his confinements. Tsunayoshi called out for his mother or the nice officer, his once friends and even th bullies. No one heard him. All he could do was call out over and over again. His voice eventually died and all he could hear was the screams of others around him.

Trapped. That's all he could describe his predicament as. His breathing was hard and strained, his muscles cramping into the posture that had torn it's way into his body. Tsuna could do nothing as his past forced itself upon him with the stress of the bullying.

Nana knocked lightly on her only child's door. Unlocking and opening it slowly, she smiled gently as she saw Tsuna curled up and asleep. Slowly closing the door so as not awaken the boy, the mother returned down stairs for supper with her friend. Unbeknown to her, she had just help trap her own son in his nightmare.

It was not long after Tsuna's twelfth birthday was he allowed to fully leave by himself. The nice officer had moved to a larger town due to a promotion several years back and Nana felt that her boy could handle himself. It was right around then that he made his first two friends. They were both boys around his age. They were taller than him and loved to play basket ball, but they were kind and nice to him. Whenever he didn't understand him, they would help and during gym they always picked him to be on their team even if he was poor.

Tsuna never knew how nice it was to have friends. He would spend the night at their houses and play with the after school. Strangely enough, they never wanted to go to his house. The boy probably thought that it was because of his mother. Though she was loved by all, she seemed to act to kindly to everyone and it made it uneasy for the two. In the end they never did meet her. It was probably so that they wouldn't regret anything.

The October air was chilly though warmer than usual. Tsuna ran out of the house, telling himself over and over that he should just wake up one day! He spotted his two friends and waved to them. The two waved back but something seemed amiss. The boy didn't bring it up though, he didn't want to do anything that could lead to their friendship being destroyed. These past few weeks seemed to be more strained and Tsuna felt that something really bad was going to happen. It had been a long time since he had the 'Dark Dream' as he called it, but he had been awaking to it for the past three days. Something was definitely wrong.

The days passed by quietly and Tsuna wondered if perhaps he was over thinking things. Even though the dreams persisted, they could mean anything, right? October got chillier and chillier until November reared it's head in the towns direction. Tsuna had to wake up earlier just to make sure he was had enough clothes and that he would be warm enough for the chilly winds.

Stepping outside his house, he felt a chill run up his spine not from the cold. Something very bad was going to happen today. The Dark Dream seemed to lock him in as even know he felt as if he was suffocating. His friends soon came into view and he waved happily at them. They didn't return the wave. Tsuna looked questioningly at them but said nothing as the trio headed towards school. The day went by slowly, neither of them talking or saying anything to anyone. Tsuna was getting very worried.

That day, he stopped his friends on the bridge, asking them what was wrong. Perhaps, if the future mafia boss ever looked back on this day with remorse, he would have wished he had kept walking.

"What's wrong?" The taller of the two repeated stopping a few feet ahead of Tsunayoshi. "Why Tsuna-kun, what would make you think that there was anything wrong." He turned to look back at the kid and Tsuna did notlike that smile. It wasn't his usual friends smile, nor was it that of a bully. It was so much more worse than that. Stepping back, he felt himself bump into something warm and he realized to late it was his other 'friend'. The younger teen grabbed Tsuna's arms, locking them to the side of his body.

"S-stop! What's going on?! What's gotten into you two?!"

"Oh Tsuna-kun" The older said, shaking his finger as if scolding a child. "There's nothing different about us. We're just sick and tiredof being you 'friend'. Got that bitch?" He sneered. Tsuna blinked. The person he knew hated swearing and for gods sake he was only fourteen! Why was he so, so-! A slap made his mind go blank as he slowly felt the burning sensation of his blood rushing to repair anything broken. The teen then slapped the other way, and then the other, over and over until Tsuna could barely stand. The one holding him let go, disappearing from his view.

"Did you know, Tsuna-kun." One of them said as he could feel his hands wrapping something around his body. "That about nine years ago, my little sister and his older brother were killed." Tsuna's eyes widened, what was going on. He made a move to move his arm, but painful pricks made themselves know as the something cut his clothes. "Now Tsuna, don't move till we're done. We don't want th barbwire hurting you..." He snicker as he saw the child's eyes widen in fear.

"Back to the story..." He said as he brought out a small white bag that Tsuna had noticed earlier that day. "The two of them were taken away by psycho's that liked to kill children." He pulled out beautiful white flower, carefully tying them in with the barb wire that now hung around Tsuna's body. "But apparently it wasn't the psycho's that killed them. Rather it was whatever kill the psycho's. Do you remember any of this, Tsuna-kun?" The boy shook his head, his memories having been locked due to trauma. The teen laughed tugging at the barbwire causing Tsuna to cry out. "Well that's too bad. It ruins it when you have to tell the one you hate, W-H-Y" He expressed, pulling tighter.

"You see, Tsunayoshi-kun, there was only one survivor to that whole incident. Of course it was covered up by police we eventually figured it out. Both our dads are in the police force after all. That, dear kid, was you." The word was like a hammer as it struck a damn. It did not break, but it did falter, images floating into his mind. "This entire time that we've known you, we've been thinking. Why does this worthless piece of shit get to live when our family died!" The other pulled tighter, Tsuna could feel some blood coming from the cuts as the wire dug deeper. "So we thought, why not befriend the asshole and judge if he really deserves to live!"

The boys laughed as they saw the pure horror and fear in the youngest eyes. Having lost their siblings, seeing the hidden photos of their bodies, and the knowledge that only Tsuna was left alive had driven them to insanity. They picked up his body and neared the bridge.

"Do you want to know why we waited all this time Tsuna? It's because the water' the coldest right now. No one will be able to find you in such freezingwater." Tsuna tried to struggle, but every time he moved, the wire would cut him. "These flowers are supposed resemble judgment. You have been judged, Tsunayoshi Sawada, and we say you are guilty!" The words were loud and messed with the freezing child's hearing. The cuts were draining to much blood and he already felt faint. Before he felt the water, saw the sky darken and soft flakes of snow fall.

The water was cold and Tsuna immediately began struggling as his body went into spasms. Loosing his breath and only deepening his cuts Tsuna tried to keep his eyes open so that he could see around him. The wire floated around him like a blanket and the flowers seemed to mark a grave as the were dragged down with him. He could just barely make out the two shapes still on the bridge. The snow, he could tell, was still falling.

Perhaps, I should die... Tsuna thought, his unstable mind breaking. I mean, I was the one who killed them right? He laughed even though he should have been out of air. His bubbles of life persisted. That's right, I deserve to die... He laughed more, looking up as his eyes appeared to glow in the dark depths. Dieing, it's so much fun! The water broke away, the wire floating around him as the flowers seemed to symbolize more that just judgment. "I want to share it!"

The next day, Tsuna would be back to his goofy self who had no friends other than the animals and plants. His mother would wake him up and he would run to school. However, as the snow came down more and more, he would stop by the bridge feeling as if something was missing.

Two kids he didn't remember apparently moved without notice and cause a slight uproar in the school. The bridge he use to cross was blocked off. Apparently something had happened but no on really knew. It was all hushed by the police. An elderly women knew the truth as to what happened that night. So, when Tsuna was walking home one day, he stepped onto the snow covered bridge that seemed to draw him in. An old lady stood there and smiled sadly at him as he stopped and looked over the side that almost made him was to fall.

"Hello deary."

"Good evening ma'am." Tsuna said in slight monotone as his mind poked at the dark corner. She grabbed his hand and he looked questionably at it as she placed something in it and closed his fist.

"Whatever you do, don't forget why." She said softly and then turned to leave. When Tsuna opened his hand he found one white carnation, stripped red with a dark maroon.

Oh how I love dark, twisted fics. Don't worry, it doesn't get worse. For the PAST Tsuna! HAHAHAHA! Fear my evilness!

Anyways, white flowers often mean truth, justice, and stuff like that. White carnations are supposed to resemble remembrance, stripped once resemble refusal and red represents 'flashy'. I'm sure you can use these three things as clues to figure out what went on here. If not, don't worry, these chapters will be greatly explained later on.

Till next time~

P.S

Thanks to my stupid brother, I'm going to follow an alphabet naming system. Go me.