Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the Legend of Zelda, period. I do own the story line, though. So smoke that!
A/N: I wrote this on a whim. This is my second fic, and a rather crazy one, at that. It's rather stupid and has no real plot line. Hope you like it.
TheHenchman
The Day Giant Alien Penguins Tried to Take Over Hyrule
Chapter I: The Invasion Starts
One day, giant alien penguins landed in the Deku Tree Sprout's meadow. The craft was rather conventional, (or, at least the penguins thought so...).
"TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER, YOU SMALL, PATHETIC, FOOL!!!" the penguin leader ordered.
"But I can't, you mentally challenged dolt. I'm rooted to the spot," the Sprout yelled back.
"THEN HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER!!!"
"Why?"
"WE WILL DESTROY YOU!!!"
"If you do, you will never reach the 'leader' you speak of."
"GOOD POINT. BUT HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER THEN!!!"
Just then, Saria walked into the meadow. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded. "As the Sage of the Forest, I demand you leave this forbidden forest!"
"TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER!!!" the leader said again.
Thinking quickly, Saria agreed. She took the penguins to the outside of Mido's house. She told them to wait outside. She went in, and told Mido to take them to the Lost Woods. (You know, if anyone other than forest folk enters the Woods, they become Stalfos. You do remember that, right?)
He agrees and leads them behind his house and into the hole that looks like someone's asshole. He walks them a few feet in, and all of a sudden, they turn in to half-Stalfos, half-penguin ugly things with swords and shields.
"Oh, shit..." was all Mido could scream before they sliced him in to tiny bits in true medieval France style.
"Serves him right..." Saria mumbled after hearing Mido's scream.
Suddenly, the penguin/Stalfos creatures burst out of the tunnel and proceed to destroy Kokiri Forest. Pieces of wood flew everywhere, little pieces of flesh and bone from the now dead Kokiri children splattering on what's left of Link's tree house. As for Link, he was sleeping until he heard the sounds of destruction coming from outside.
"SHUT UP OUT THERE!!!" he yelled sleepily. The noise continued. "Good fer nothin'..." he mumbled as he got up and pulled on his equipment. "They're REALLY gonna pay for it now..." He was just about to leave his house when Saria's head came flying through his door.
"Help us..." the head managed to say before it died. (Disturbing, huh? But decapitated heads are alive for a short while.)
Confused, Link stuck is head out the door and saw the destruction. He shrugged and turned around, back inside. Then he realized what he just saw. It really pissed him off. He grabbed his Biggoron sword and jumped out of his house. He never stood a chance. They attacked him viciously. He managed to kill one of them, but he only had four fairy spirits with him, and they managed to kill him four times and get him down to one heart. He ran from the forest on Epona, toward Kakariko, the graveyard specifically. He pulled back the grave, jumped in and captured four more fairies, and restored his health.
He headed for Hyrule castle.
-------------------------------
End of Chapter I
Review! I might continue this. Depends on feedback.
A/N: I wrote this on a whim. This is my second fic, and a rather crazy one, at that. It's rather stupid and has no real plot line. Hope you like it.
TheHenchman
The Day Giant Alien Penguins Tried to Take Over Hyrule
Chapter I: The Invasion Starts
One day, giant alien penguins landed in the Deku Tree Sprout's meadow. The craft was rather conventional, (or, at least the penguins thought so...).
"TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER, YOU SMALL, PATHETIC, FOOL!!!" the penguin leader ordered.
"But I can't, you mentally challenged dolt. I'm rooted to the spot," the Sprout yelled back.
"THEN HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER!!!"
"Why?"
"WE WILL DESTROY YOU!!!"
"If you do, you will never reach the 'leader' you speak of."
"GOOD POINT. BUT HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER THEN!!!"
Just then, Saria walked into the meadow. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded. "As the Sage of the Forest, I demand you leave this forbidden forest!"
"TAKE US TO YOUR LEADER!!!" the leader said again.
Thinking quickly, Saria agreed. She took the penguins to the outside of Mido's house. She told them to wait outside. She went in, and told Mido to take them to the Lost Woods. (You know, if anyone other than forest folk enters the Woods, they become Stalfos. You do remember that, right?)
He agrees and leads them behind his house and into the hole that looks like someone's asshole. He walks them a few feet in, and all of a sudden, they turn in to half-Stalfos, half-penguin ugly things with swords and shields.
"Oh, shit..." was all Mido could scream before they sliced him in to tiny bits in true medieval France style.
"Serves him right..." Saria mumbled after hearing Mido's scream.
Suddenly, the penguin/Stalfos creatures burst out of the tunnel and proceed to destroy Kokiri Forest. Pieces of wood flew everywhere, little pieces of flesh and bone from the now dead Kokiri children splattering on what's left of Link's tree house. As for Link, he was sleeping until he heard the sounds of destruction coming from outside.
"SHUT UP OUT THERE!!!" he yelled sleepily. The noise continued. "Good fer nothin'..." he mumbled as he got up and pulled on his equipment. "They're REALLY gonna pay for it now..." He was just about to leave his house when Saria's head came flying through his door.
"Help us..." the head managed to say before it died. (Disturbing, huh? But decapitated heads are alive for a short while.)
Confused, Link stuck is head out the door and saw the destruction. He shrugged and turned around, back inside. Then he realized what he just saw. It really pissed him off. He grabbed his Biggoron sword and jumped out of his house. He never stood a chance. They attacked him viciously. He managed to kill one of them, but he only had four fairy spirits with him, and they managed to kill him four times and get him down to one heart. He ran from the forest on Epona, toward Kakariko, the graveyard specifically. He pulled back the grave, jumped in and captured four more fairies, and restored his health.
He headed for Hyrule castle.
-------------------------------
End of Chapter I
Review! I might continue this. Depends on feedback.