Star Trek: The Life and Times of Ranma Saotome! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: "Ranma ½", "Sailor Moon", "Star Trek" and other genres belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre story.
Enjoy!
Part 2: "2007" ("B" Side).
A day ago, within the central compound of the Hidden Sound Village, Otonokuni Prefecture…
"Arrgh!"
Kabuto, who was outside of Lord Orochimaru's bedroom, merely sighs, as he decides to check in on his "master". Although he has his own ambitions, Orochimaru still has some…use. Since his defeat at the hands of the Third Hokage Sarutobi, Orochimaru has desperately trying to restore his own…worth. One of the things that he tried to do was to harm Mai Otonokumo, a member of the were-spider clan, due to Lord Ranshin's actions. However, in his present state, bringing the ire of the Lord of Fire at this point in time, especially in his present condition was fool-hardy, not to mention that when Mai made a pact with Ranma, that pact included Mai's clan…
'Foolishness,' Kabuto says, as he opened the door to Orochimaru's room. 'He shouldn't have kidnapped Lady Usashinko's body…'
"Lord Orochimaru?"
"Y-yeah?"
Kabuto did not see much of Orochimaru in the shadows.
"I've found the person who could help us with your…problem."
"G-good," Orochimaru says. "Tsunade is the only person who knows how this body of…mine works. It's fighting me…trying to prevent me from dominating it."
Actually, the BEST person to know how Usagi's body functions is Washu ("The Greatest Scientific Mind in the Universe") Hakubi...but Orochimaru doesn't know that. At least, not YET.
"It's your fault for not finding this out before hand-"
Suddenly, Orochimaru lashes out with his left arm, causing the very air pressure to cleanly cut his bedpost in half. He then steps forth…or, rather, SHE steps forth from the shadows. Although Orochimaru's present form looked like Usagi's, this version had pale skin, had green-colored hair, and snake-like eyes.
"I don't need a lecture, Kabuto," Orochimaru says, as she puts on her robes. "I took this body because of the possibilities that it possessed. Imagine me with the ability to surpass even the much vaunted Sharingan."
"I'm sure that Lady Usashinko's shape-shifting abilities will allow you to mimic the Sharingan."
"And in THAT lies the problem. As much as I try, I cannot control this form, nor can I simply leave it alone. There is TOO much power in this form at stake!"
"And the sooner we find Tsunade, the better," Kabuto says. "Since she is the family physician of the Rantsu clan, she should know your...body's secrets."
"Indeed."
"But…why would Lady Tsunade help US succeed in this matter?"
Orochimaru gives a wicked smile.
"Unlike Lady Usashinko, I KNOW what needs to be sacrificed for true love…as well as the ability to actually perform it!"
And now…
"So, you're saying that the Akatsuki were here?" Ranko says, as she helped administer First Aid to Kakashi with her "Jedi Arts". Apparently, the renegade shinobi Itachi Uchiha employed the dreaded "Tsukuyomi"…a genjutsu technique of the Mangekyo level of the Sharingan on Kakashi. As a result, Kakashi spent three days being tortured in a pocket dimension, where only three seconds had passed. Ranko only came unto the scene purely by chance, after escaping from Miko's attention.
"Yes," says the raven-haired Kurenai Yuhi. "Itachi has improved since he was last here."
"More than THAT," Asuma Sarutobi says, as he strokes his beard, "he had a partner…a renegade named Kisame Hoshigaki."
"That sounds like a 'Mako' kinfolk name," Ranko says, as she probed further into Kakashi being…
"GAH!" Kakashi suddenly yelled, as he sat up.
"It's okay, Kakashi," Guy says, as he tried to comfort his long time rival.
Kakashi looks around wildly, and then sees Ranko.
"Lord Ranshin, I wasn't able to prevent Itachi from-"
"Don't worry about it, Kakashi," Ranko replied as she straighten herself out. "This situation has just become…personal."
And with that, Ranko disappears at "invisible speed".
"I would hate to be in Itachi's shoes at the moment," Asuma says, as he lights a cigarette.
Meanwhile…
"You think that Master Jiraiya is THAT good of a shinobi?" sneers Kisame, as he carried his huge, sharkskin sword on his back, which was usually wrapped in bandages to keep it moist. Kisame himself had shark-like features, having been related to the were-shark…
"He's good, and then some," Itachi says flatly. "However, he's not the threat."
"Oh?"
"Naruto's family is."
"What are you talking about? He's an orphan, from what I heard."
"Well, you've heard wrong. Naruto was placed under the supervision and care of the Third Hokage because of some reason I have yet to determine…other than keeping an eye on the demon fox within Naruto."
"If messing with Naruto is so dangerous, why are we doing this?"
Itachi looks at his partner with dead eyes.
"In order to be stronger, we have to face the possibility of dying. Simply put, it is all about the survival of the fittest."
"…"
"But no matter," Itachi says, as he notices some contrail from overhead. "We'll get a chance to face death soon enough."
Meanwhile…
"Hey, 'Pervy Sage'," Naruto says mockingly, as he and Master Jiraiya stopped to rest before continuing their journey through Otafuku, a gambling town. And while he didn't mind traveling with the so-called "Toad Sage", he was more concerned with what he has been hearing lately…
"What is it, kid?" Jiraiya says, as he begins to drink his beverage.
"Are my parents…alive?"
Jiraiya immediately spits out his drink, and coughs.
"What-COUGH-brought this on?"
"It's…ever since that Orochimaru creep came rolling into the village, I've been hearing stuff about this guy named 'Ranshin', and how he's suppose to be this big shot or something."
"Humph, you can say that…"
"SO, he IS alive!" Naruto yelled. "And…do I have a mother, too?"
"…"
"Well?"
"Yes, but-"
"THEN WHY WAS I LEFT ALONE, THEN?" Naruto yells. "WHY HAVE THEY AVOIDED ME?"
And then something dawns on the knuckle-headed ninja.
"Are…are they afraid of me because of this thing inside me?"
Jiraiya sighs.
"Look, kid, your parents are good people."
"Then why-?"
"Because of what's inside you, it was thought that it was best that you remained here in the village, so that people could watch over you."
"Oh."
And you know those birthday gifts that you have been receiving over the years? Well, they came from your parents."
"Including my old goggles?"
"Including those."
"I thought…Iruka-sensei got me all my gifts."
"Nope, not all. And your parents have been keeping track of your progress the best way they can, but they also hope that when the time comes…you can be a part of their family again."
"I…see."
Silence.
"Pervy Sage?"
"I wish you wouldn't call me THAT!"
"What are they…like?"
"Let's see. Your mother—her name is 'Usashinko', by the way—is a very attractive woman. Did you know that your 'sexy jutsu' is almost a spitting image of her?"
"Really?"
"Really. You could easily pass as her sister."
"Wow. I just assume that the way I would look was as guess."
"Not at all."
"So…what is my father like?"
"Let's see. Well, he's brave, honest, and one of the fiercest warriors I know…kind of like me!"
"Oh, so he's pervy, too?"
"Would you knock it off? Sheesh!"
"So, what else?"
"Well, he was one of my teachers," Jiraiya says. "In fact…"
Jiraiya takes his huge summoning scroll- to summon the Toad King and his "people" -and unrolls it just a bit.
"See that signature and hand print?" Jiraiya says, as he points out the first line. "THAT is your father's."
"Wow," Naruto says, as he touched Ranma's signature and fingerprints.
"Yep," Jiraiya says with self-satisfaction. "Your father is quite a man-"
"HELLO!" cries a Ranko, as she comes running up the road, while carrying a "Hello, Kitty!" back pack.
"Oh, no," Jiraiya says, as he wanted to bury his head in his lap.
"Ah, man!" Naruto says with a pout. "Why do we have to have some strange girl with us?"
"I am wondering the same thing."
"I wanted to go on a training trip with you, sensei," Ranko says demurely.
"Kiddo, I already have someone to accompany me on this trip. I don't…need…"
Jiraiya becomes entranced by Ranko's ample cleavage, when she bends over while pouting.
"But Master Jiraiya…PLEASE?"
"Of course…my dear," Jiraiya says with hearts in his eyes. "Let me at 'em-!"
POW!
"You're SO funny! Tee hee!"
"Man, can this day get any WORSE?" Naruto says with a pout.
Meanwhile…
"Mom, I'll be going out for a while," Usagi says, as she stepped out the back door of the Tsukino Residence.
Ikuko Tsukino immediately rushes out after her.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to pay a visit to one of my employers."
"Oh? I thought that the Americans have placed you on extended leave from your service?"
Ikuko was still concerned about where her daughter's national loyalties lay, even though she does have duel citizenship…
"Actually, I'm going to see Galactus."
"…"
"Mom?"
"You mean…the alien who tried to eat the Earth?"
"That's the one."
"But…how do you know HIM?"
"Well, let's see. It was sometime after the Fantastic Four was formed. My friend Sue Richards and her hubby Reed had just gotten married, so while they went on their honey moon, they asked Ranma and I to 'sub' for them for a while…"
FLASHBACK!
"Okay, FRIEND," says the rocky Benjamin J. Grimm, otherwise known as "The Thing". "Read 'em and weep!"
Ranma looked at his old flying partner, while trying to discern what type of "hand" he was dealing with. And since he was dealing with a "full house"…
"You know, I only have a bunch of spades," Ranma says, as he lays down a straight flush. "HA!"
"If you weren't my old flying buddy-!"
"Guys, knock it off," Usagi says, as she comes into the main lounge while reading some telemetry she has been recording. Since Reed left the Baxter Building into her care, she was doing her best to live up to his standards. "Ben, how soon can you prep the 'Fantastic Rocket'?"
"Why, what's wrong?"
"I think we have another Galactus sighting."
"So?" Johnny ("The Human Torch") Storm says, as he continues to play his sit-down driving game. "I mean, he's not a threat to anyone, especially to Earth."
"Yeah, Usagi…why do we need to even bother?"
Usagi lowers the paper down.
"Because, if this telemetry is correct, Galactus is heading for Q'onos."
Ranma looks at his wife.
"You're kidding."
"I wish I were, and you know what THAT could mean."
"Fine…fine."
"What's this 'Q'onos'?" Thing asked, as he gets the cards ready for another hand.
"You know, 'Star Trek'?" Ranma asked.
"Yeah…"
"And do you know about 'Klingons'?"
"Yeah, what of them?"
Ranma stares as Ben expectantly.
"Wait, you mean…THEY ARE REAL?"
"Yep."
"Which means that we have a moral obligation to protect that world," Usagi says. She then turns to Johnny. "And Johnny, when we meet these people, PLEASE be on your best behavior."
"Hey, I'm not the one with the 'foot-in-mouth' disease!" Johnny says, as he turns to look at Ranma.
"Ha! Speak for yourself, Johnny 'It-will-take-more-than-THAT-to-defeat-US' Storm!"
Usagi shakes her head. With Ranma and Johnny, it's like dealing with two boys bickering sometimes…
Once The Fantastic Rocket leaves Earth, it heads for the uncharted territory within the Beta Quadrant. As a result, all were wearing the classic blue "Fantastic Four" uniforms…much to Ranma's chagrin. He always preferred his own Chinese clothes whenever he goes out on an adventure…
"You two seemed to know where we are going," Ben says, as he double-checks his instruments.
"Yeah, we do," Ranma says, as he performed navigation duties…after losing a coin toss. "Sometime in the future, the wife and I will pay a visit to the Klingon homeworld."
"Sounds like one of them temporal paradox things," Johnny says, as he leans back in his seat. He still couldn't believe that one of his favorite television shows were based on an interview that the creator of the show had conducted with Usagi, back when she (under the pseudonym "Serena O'Hare") was an employee of "Desilu Studios"…
"Pretty much-"
BLAM! BLAM!
"Status!" Usagi says.
"We're taking heavy 'fire'," Ranma says.
"I'm making a break now," Ben says, as he began to perform evasive maneuvers.
Meanwhile, Usagi observes the sensors…
"Bunny, what are we dealing with?" Ben says.
"Skrull ships," Usagi says. She then turns to Johnny. "Prepare and initiate weapons fire."
"Alright, some action!" Johnny says, as he activated the main guns. Unlike Reed ("Mister Fantastic") Richards, Usagi is not opposed to having a weapons system set up.
"What are you going to do?" Ranma asked his wife.
Usagi was busy looking up some data…
"Usagi!"
"I'm going to contact some…friends," Usagi says, as she began to punch in a code into the communications array.
"Well, they should take their time, 'cuz I'm having WAY too much fun!" Johnny says.
"Show off," Ranma mutters.
Eventually, Usagi's "friends" show up…
"Skrull ships, this is the Vulcan ship 'Surek'," relayed the Vulcan ship. "You are in violation of a designated protective zone. If you do not cease your activities, they will be considered as acts of aggression."
"Well, I guess you guys were right all along," Ben says.
"I'm surprised you were able to get the Vulcan's attention," Ranma says.
"Hey, unlike YOU I remember this stuff," Usagi says. "Besides, I was a Foreign Service officer for the Federation, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah…"
Thankfully, the Skrull ships were making their retreat, by the time the "new" Fantastic Four made theirs. It would have been hard to explain how a human was able to acquire an important code from the Vulcans…years before diplomatic relations had been established.
Eventually, the fabulous four made it the Klingon homeworld…and allowed them selves to be captured.
"Man, this takes me back," Ranma says, as he was thrown into the Great Hall…in chains.
"When are we going to fight?" Johnny says, itching to do something.
"Would you calm down, kid?" Ben replies, having purposely reverted his form to that of a human. Ever since Usagi correctly deduced that it was the personality of the person that dictates the type of powers that he or she has—after exposure to cosmic rays—Ben has been able to control his appearance somewhat. Unfortunately, he could only do so on a limited basis…due to the fact that Ben is always trying to over-state his "toughness".
"Quiet, you three!" Usagi says, as she faces the Klingon council.
"Who are you, and what manner of beings are you?" asked the Chancellor.
"Ranma?" Usagi whispers.
"Huh?"
"You WERE the diplomat here, remember?"
"Oh, yeah," Ranma says, before switching his focus from fight to diplomacy.
"We hail from the world known as Earth," Ranma said in fluent Klingonese.
One of the Klingon on the council rises.
"What matter of trickery is THIS?" the Klingon said. "How do you know our father-tongue?"
"Simple, because the man that I would learn the ways of Q'onos, was of the House of Kang," Ranma says.
"Impossible!" yelled the Chancellor. "I am Kang, the head of my Great House!"
Ranma cocks his head.
"I knew I recognized your visage. You are the 'Kang the Greater', the first one to establish the House of Kang, after defeating your rival Kruk for leadership."
"You know much, off-worlder."
"Your descendent, 'Kang the Merciless', was my blood brother," Ranma says. "When he died in battle, he left stewardship of his house to me, since he was the last of his line. Someone without honor destroyed your House, out of fear of its strength. However, I would destroy HIS House instead…and gain great renown as 'The Knife of Kang'."
"Off-worlder, if this is true, then I am honored. However, I will need convincing that you are not an enemy."
"Then I shall prove my validity…by helping you defend this world from the 'World Devourer'."
"Galactus…is HERE?" the Chancellor says with alarm.
"Not quite," Usagi says, as she came forward. "We came to your system to warn you of the danger, and that we pledge ourselves to this world's defense."
"We do NOT need off-worlder's help!" yells a council member.
"We are not going to help you defend your world…just assist in its defense."
Kang the Greater mulls these words.
"We will face this threat, but you will not join us."
"Very well," Usagi says.
"Thank you, Lord Kang," Ranma said with a bow.
A short while later, the Fantastic Four were back on their craft.
"Man, that was boring," says Johnny, as he leans back.
"It's all about pride, kid," says Ben, now back to his rocky self.
"Right," Ranma says, as he puts on his space gear. "With their defenses up, they can take pride in Galactus' defeat...although it's a lost cause. So, Usagi, what's the plan?"
"You, Ben and Johnny will sabotage Galactus's ship, while I run interference with his herald," Usagi says.
"Well, that's something that we can do."
"According to my readings, Galactus is at his lowest levels. We have to stall him long enough to slow him down."
"And then what?" Johnny says.
"Negotiate."
"Well, you might have a problem with THAT guy," Ben says, as he points out a familiar signature on the screen.
Usagi sees it.
"Nuts."
"Well, good luck, dear," Ranma says, as he gives his wife a peck on the cheek.
"Ha, ha," Usagi says, as she begins to glow. "VERY funny."
And with that-
FWOOSH!
Usagi, Cosmo-Knight, was ready to go. Only the glow of her eyes could be seen.
"Be back shortly," Dame Usagi says, as she phased out of the hull, and went to meet…Terrax. Terrax was once a despotic ruler who became Galactus' herald since the World Devourer wanted someone more ruthless at his beck and call…
"Well, what are we waiting on, guys?" Ranma says. "Let's go kick some world-eating butt!"
"Hoo-ya!" Ben yells triumphantly.
"FAN-tastic!" Johnny says.
Ranma rolls his eyes.
END FLASHBACK!
"And that was that," Usagi says. "We prevented Galactus from devouring another world, though, in return, I had to be more involved in what planets were deemed worthy for consumption…without the need to take sentient lives. And, over the years, I kind of was able to form a union with the other heralds, which allow us to rotate the position while allowing us our free time…"
FWOOSH!
Now, Usagi looked like something that the famous pop artist Hajime Sorayama would designed, given that she appeared to appear all metallic, including her silky strains of silver hair. Tattoo-like designs etched her "skin", as the lines seem to focus on the large, crescent Moon that was etched into her chest. Usagi "Moon Tiara" adorned her head, with the "Prime" Infinity Gem. This gem, one in nine, allows Usagi to manipulate the essence that fuels Creation itself, and can, at higher levels, create an entire universe…including the physical "laws" that would define that reality. In fact, each member of the Illuminati has guardianship of each of the nine gems: the "Inhuman" Black Bolt possess the gem for "Space", Professor Xavier of the X-Men has "Mind", Doctor Strange has "Soul", Prince Namor the Sub-Mariner has "Time", Iron Man has "Matter", Mister Fantastic has "Forces", the Black Panther has "Life" and the Eternal Thanos has "Entropy". Although a super-villain, Usagi saw Thanos' role as her counterpart, thus allowing balancing to be achieved amongst the council.
Unfortunately, the details of her "cosmic form" didn't leave much to the imagination.
"Usagi, please cover yourself!"
"Mom, I'm only wearing a second skin…like a body suit!"
"Usagi, please?"
Usagi sighed. She knew that these recent months have been particularly stressful to her mother Ikuko, since learning more of her activities of late. So...
"Alright, Mom," Usagi replies, as she conjured a lengthy, floating silk scarf (white) that conveniently covered her supposed "naughty bits".
"Is that fine?"
"Much better," Ikuko says, as she touched her daughter's "skin". "Can you breathe?"
"Yes, if I choose to," Usagi says. "Any way, when I accepted Galactus' terms, he 'melted' my cosmic armor into my flesh."
"Oh, dear."
"Well, Ranma was pretty ticked off, but I was told that I can switch 'on' that form when I need to be out in Deep Space."
"Okay, then…just be careful," Ikuko says, as she gives her daughter a peck on the cheek.
"I will, Mom," Usagi says, as she takes off for Deep Space.
Tbc.