Chapter 2: I'm a vampire...
Disclaimer: If I was brilliant enough to write Twilight, well, I don't know... but I'd be pretty darn smart.
Thanks so much for everyone's reviews! I really appreciate it! (Oh yes, this story is AU because Bella and Edward are able to have children together.)
"Edward..." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm pregnant."
He froze and all was still. For when Edward froze, the world around me froze. Time stood on a stand still. I don't know when I heard his breathing frantically start up again, as he tried to constrain himself. I don't know when I saw his eyelashes swoop down over his amber eyes to blink. I don't know when I saw his mouth even open. I was too consumed by him. By his beautiful shock, his beautiful anger, his beautiful helplessness.
"Bella…" he croaked, his voice so seeped with anguish, that for maybe the first time, it almost sounded completely human. "Bella…" His eyes searched mine, and I searched his. He wrapped me around in his arms, his hands tangled through my hair as I sobbed uncontrollably into him, fitting my head comfortably in the groove of his shoulder, finally letting my guard down.
"Edward… I'm so sorry," I cried. "I didn't mean to… I mean, I know why... but... I didn't think..."
His grip tightened slightly, straining from the effort of control as I lost control, and his face hardened, the beautiful marble features swirling into granite.
"I'm not ready..." I continued, "I shouldn't have pushed you... you didn't want to, but I pushed you anyway." I sniffled, "It's all my fault! What's going to happen now? I'm only eighteen!"
"Bella," he growled, sending a shiver down my spine. "Bella..." he said a little softer, his voice straining. His head dropped, his face in my hair, tearless sobs racking his chest. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so, so sorry."
I looked up at him, the tears dripping off the bridge of my nose as my wet eyes gazed confusedly.
He let go of me, jumping up and letting me fall back onto the bed, alone. I brought my knees up to my chest, hugging them against myself. I was protecting myself the best I could, the only way I could without Edward. "Edward," I called softly, my words barely leaving my lips.
He shook his head in disappointment, his back turned to me. "Bella..." he drawled. "Bella. It's all my fault... I shouldn't have." His hand tightened into a fist. "It's not even suppose to be done!" He smacked his fist against his leg. "I'm so stupid! I should've known better! This shouldn't have happened!"
I sniffled, bringing the back of my hand up to my eyes, dabbing away the last of the angry tears that had sprung up. I pushed myself up off of the bed, trying to control my breathing. I could be strong. I would be strong. With a quivering hand, I reached out to touch his arm lightly, my fingertips brushing against his cold skin.
His head turned back quickly, his eyes flashing before he turned away once again.
Desperately, I grasped for his hand, twining my fingers through his. I squeezed his hand. "Edward..." I whispered. "You gave me exactly what I wanted... how could you be upset? How could I be upset?"
He closed his eyes, his breathing erratic. "So you wanted this?"
"I wanted you."
"You wanted this baby? You wanted to get pregnant?" He let go of my hand, and I silently protested, but my hand dropped to my side. "You wanted this? You didn't want to get married young. You were the one who said that you didn't want to be that girl! You didn't want this..." he said pitifully.
I looked down blinking. "You don't want this..." I murmured. "You didn't want me..."
His eyes flashed in surprise as he spun to face me suddenly. "Bella..."
I looked up to him, my face turning scarlet, my eyes hard. "I'm sorry, Edward... I'm sorry I made your life more complicated. I'm sorry I ever came to Forks. I'm sorry you fell in love with me. I'm sorry that I pushed you to do that with me." I breathed heavily, my chest heaving from the pressure. "But I'm not sorry... I'm not sorry that I love you. I'm not sorry that I did have that night with you. And..." I hesitated, "and... I'm not sorry that I'm having this baby... even if it is a little early." I stumbled backwards, ready to fall by myself, only to find myself being caught once again, by Edward.
His lips touched my neck, feverishly kissing the skin. "I do love you..." he breathed into my ear, "I want you forever. I did want it... but I shouldn't have acted upon that."
"You didn't just do it for you," I told him, "you did it for me... for us."
He ripped himself away once again, and my head bumped gently against the headboard of the bed. He rubbed the back of his head, mussing his bronze hair. "Bella... you don't understand..."
I looked at him angrily. "Tell me what I don't understand," I demanded. "Tell me what is so wrong with this? Is there something wrong with us? Is there something wrong with me?"
"Bella..." he spluttered. "I'm a vampire."
"So?"
"I'm not even suppose to exist, Bella. I'm invading your world."
"You're saving my world."
"Bella..." he sighed. "Do you even know what this baby will be? Do you have any idea how it will turn out?"
I breathed out sharply. "No..." I said, my voice shaking, "How will it?"
"That's the thing, Bella... I don't know either." He shook his head. "This has never happened before. Never." He flexed his fingers. "In all those centuries, this has never happened. Why wouldn't it have happened before if it wasn't right?"
"There's always a starting point..." I said softly.
"But it's not natural!" Edward screeched, his voice hitting a high, singing like a tenor. "It's not natural! I'm a monster! I'm not suppose to reproduce! There's a reason why vampires don't reproduce together!"
I flinched.
His face turned toward me, full of suppressed fury. "Don't you get it?"
"What?" I spat, "The fact that I'm having a baby? Or the fact that you're the father?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm a vampire, Bella."
"So?!" I screamed, no longer caring if I woke Charlie. No longer caring if I woke anyone.
"What if this kid..." His breathing grew ragged, "What if this kid becomes like me?"
"So?!" I screamed again. "So what? So what if it's human, or vampire, or half and half? What does that matter? You won't love it?" I accused.
"I will love it! That's exactly why it's so wrong, Bella! I could've just condemned this baby to lead the life of a monster! How could I give anyone that willingly?"
"You'll give it to me..."
Edward hung his head. "Because I'm selfish. And I want you forever. But I don't want to condemn my own child from having the human experiences... even if for the shortest time."
"And what if it isn't vampire? You were human! You are practically human... just with some supernatural abilities."
Edward grit his teeth, his face flitting back and forth between emotions. "But I'll still be the father," he let out slowly, "It'll have a monster for a father." He closed his eyes, deeply inhaling the air that he didn't need. His voice dropped, barely audible to human ears. "How could it love me? How could it be proud of me?"
"I'm proud of you." My hand grasped his tightly and I laid my head on his chest. "I love you."
His chest quivered as his cool hand slowly went down to my still flat stomach, resting there. "I don't deserve this baby... I don't deserve anything. I don't even deserve to be here right now."
I clutched his hand tighter. "Don't leave," I gasped, my heart beating faster. "You can't leave me."
"I deserve to die," he continued, his hand still on my stomach.
"Edward..." I warned, clasping on to him even tighter; not that it would help if he truly wanted to leave. But I had to hold on as best I could. Just so I knew I tried, so he knew I was here. I wasn't giving him up again so easily. "Promise..."
He said nothing, but held me tighter.
"You do promise, right?" I asked again quickly, panicking.
He kissed the top of my head.
"Edward..." my voice quaking, full of worry.
Still nothing.
"Edward!" I cried, on the verge of hyperventilation. "Don't you dare do anything rash!" My chest quivered. "Edward!"
His eyes closed slowly, before he finally spoke. "I promise," he said weakly.
I sighed, relief flooding through my body as his arms circled my waist, pulling me closer to him.
"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered softly, "I didn't mean to scare you."
"You didn't scare me... you almost gave me a heart attack."
He gave me a tired smile. "I could've said the same for myself," he said musingly, "but then I'd be lying."
I put my hand over his chest, where his beating heart should've been. He put his hand over mine, where the beats were still counting. "Edward," I whispered. "Everything will be alright..." It came out like a question, hovering in the air, waiting for his response.
"It... it doesn't make life any easier," Edward said heavily. "This creates... some complications..." He stared out into the nothingness, silence falling around us. Patiently, I waited for him to speak again. To tell me exactly what he meant. But after a while, my eyes began to droop, and I fought against it, still waiting for him to speak. "Tomorrow, Bella," he said suddenly. "It's time for you to sleep."
"I'm not tired," I muttered feverishly. "What's wrong? What complications?"
"Tomorrow..." he said, sounding tired. "I need to think." He lifted me up, holding me in his arms.
"Tell me anyway..."
"I promise, tomorrow."
"Edward..." My head began to droop, the room getting fuzzier.
"I promise."
"Don't leave me..."
"Never."
"Edward, I love you..." I breathed, my voice falling.
"And me, you..." He placed me down on my bed as I nodded off. "Bella," he breathed softly in my ear just before I fell into darkness, "I really do love you... and... whatever you're carrying inside you."
"What complications?" I mumbled before succumbing to sleep.
Somehow, I'm not really satisfied with this; it's mostly the ending. I mean, I like it enough... but I don't know. Anyway, I hoped you liked it... it really is as much for you as it is for me. Please, please review. I love getting them and they make me want to write more.