A/N: Alright. Well, ask and you shall receive. I managed to come up with quite a bit of plotline for this, so I believe this will be a new multichapter! Woo, two at once. Why do I feel like this will get confusing. ANYWAYS, If any of my readers on here also read TMLOB (The Mating Life Of Bees) then, I am in fact working on another chapter for that. It's just going kinda slow because I've had cosplay stuff I've been doing. Yay Military Sollux/designing and what not. It's been taking up quite a bit of my time, and yeah.. But anyways, here is chapter 2 of colorblind! If you guys have anything you wanna see happen in this story, just tell me and I will definitely put it in, and dedicate that chapter to whoever requested it. Enjoy, my lovelies3
"I got big booty bitches, big, big booty bitches, WOOO, I got big booty bitches, big, big booty bitches, WOOO~" Gamzee seemed to leap out of his skin, stumbling as he lost his balance. He could feel his blood run cold when he started to lean forward, his eyes falling upon the pavement and causing him to instinctively taking a step backwards in an attempt to avoid his demise. He dropped from the foot and a half of concrete that made up the lip at the top of the building, landing on his close to non-existent ass in the rough gravel below him.
"Motherfucker." He snapped, before starting to dig about in his pockets for his still ringing phone. After hauling out his fair sized ring of keys, a few metallic gum rappers, a bottle of pills, and a lighter, Gamzee found the source of the obnoxious noise. Still shaken from his near-death experience, he answered the phone with labored breaths and an airy feel to his usually smooth voice, though it was getting rougher by the smoke.
"H-hello..?" He asked, sitting up and bending his knees.
"JESUS FUCK, DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE. OH MY FUCKING GOD, ARE YOU RETARDED?! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING."
"Heyyyy, best friend." Gamzee said, grinning and resting an elbow against his boney knee, hanging his head between his bent legs as he continued to slow and steady his breath. He could hear the worry behind Karkat's yelling, hear the irritated sighing that he seemed to let out every other word Gamzee spoke.
"Yeah, fucking hi. I'm coming up there, don't you dare fucking move. I will skin your boney ass and make a damn jacket out of it." Gamzee just chuckled at his friend's response, shaking his head slightly and closing his eyes. "Okay?!"
"Okay, Karbro. Calm your wicked tits man, I'm motherfuckin' fine." Gamzee said, still chuckling softly. Karkat just snapped his phone shut after that, leaving Gamzee five minutes alone as he made his way to the top of the apartment building. Gamzee let out a soft sigh, opening his eyes again, glaring at the steel grey gravel under him. Reaching down and picking up a particularly large stone and tossing it with a little too much force over the edge of the building. He could only hope it landed on someones head.
"What the motherfuck are you doing, brother.." He muttered to himself, letting out a soft grumble as he ran his hands through the black mat that is his hair. His fingers caught on the knots of the malnourished and frail stands, tugging at them and ripping through them. Gamzee winced, but he didn't notice. Hell, he even liked it, sometimes even feeling like he deserved it. Like he had done something wrong, and needed to be punished.
"Motherfuck!" He snapped, burying both of his hands in the strands. "Why can't I up and fucking do anything with my shitty life!" He yelled, hunching over so that his head was nearly pressed to the gravel. He pressed his thighs against his ribs, ripping and tearing at his scalp and hair in frustration and longing and satisfaction from the pain he was receiving. "Why can't I do shit right.."
There was a hand on one of his, another on his back. The soft sound of gravel shuffling under feet. Arms, sliding around his too-noticeable ribs. They were the gentlest pair of arms, hands in his life. They only wanted to heal and mend what all the other hands had already done; Hurt Gamzee. Make him suffer. Make him feel like he deserved everything they put him through, every kick and slap and intimate yet unwanted caress.
"G-gamzee..?" The voice came out as nothing more than a pathetic whimper, the feel of a body pressing against his side making Gamzee tense. He didn't like having someone press their body against him. It reminded him of his dad, and his dad always meant bad luck. Soft choking sounds caused Gamzee to raise his head, turning slightly to face Karkat. Dropping his hands from his hair, he could feel his jaw start to quiver slightly as his eyes watered.
Karkat was a wreck. His hair was disarrayed, his cheeks a darker shade of grey than the rest of him. His cheeks were most likely a bright red color, as result of the tears that were still spilling over the edges of his nearly black eyes. He looked heartbroken, his mouth contorted in pain as he gasped and whimpered and spluttered through his tears. Raising a hand, Gamzee pressed it lightly to his cheek, wiping away some of the freshly fallen tears with his thumb.
Karkat's face had always been round, though he wasn't a necessarily chubby person. He just had that sort of baby face, the edges softly sculpted to give him an almost youthful glow. The freckles dusting his cheekbones and nose just added to his childish appearance, his height only adding. He stood at about 5'4 on good days, the large grey sweater he was almost never seen without always hanging off of his well-built frame. It was his older brothers, it had been given to him before he was sent out to Afghanistan. This had been four years ago, when Karkat was only twelve. His present for his thirteenth was a folded up flag and a set of dog-tags.
"Karbro.." Gamzee muttered, frowning and wrapping his arms around his friend's shoulders. "What's making a brother all up and get his sad on..?"
"YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT." Karkat near screamed at him, thrusting his head into the bone of Gamzee's shoulder, wrapping his arms tight around him and clutching to him in an almost desperate way. Gamzee just winced, shifting and wrapping his legs around his friend, pressing him right up against his chest. After that, they just sat together for a while, Karkat shaking and gasping into his shoulder while Gamzee just help him as close and tight as possible.
"Y-you scared me.. So s-so mu-much.." Karkat blubbered to him after he had calmed down a little bit. Gamzee just swiped the back of his hand across both of his speckled cheeks, before dropping them to his lap. He gazed down at them, tangling the fingers together as Karkat balled up one of his fists. He rubbing at his eye with it, his plump lower lip still trembling.
"Why the f-f-fuck would you d-do that.. G-Gamzee.." Karkat whimpered, his eyes starting to water again. Gamzee couldn't look up at him, he had always hated seeing his best and only friend upset, let alone outright sobbing. It just hurt even more to know that it was all his fault. He just shook his head, reaching a hand up to knot and rip at his scalp and mop of hair once again. He squeezed his eyes shut, teeth gritting.
"I'm.. So motherfuckin' sorry Karbr-.. Karkat.. " Gamzee spluttered to his friend, his fingernails digging into his scalp. "I don't know what the motherfuck I was up and thinkin.. My mind ain't been in the right place lately. Doesn't up and know where it motherfuckin belongs, brother." Gamzee rambled to his friend, fingers scratching and clawing at his scalp in frustration as he tried to figure out how he can fix things.
He felt a hand on his, trying to untangle Gamzee's long, boney fingers from his hair. He dared to glance up, finding Karkat focused on the task of removing his friend's hand from his scalp. Soon he had inched forward, Gamzee's face almost pressing against his chest. His hand had been removed already, Karkat having released that has he slowly parted Gamzee's hair repeatedly, both assessing the damage done by his overgrown fingernails, as well as trying to sooth him. And sooth it did, Gamzee soon found himself relaxed and pressing his forehead lightly to the soft grey fabric of Karkat's sweater.
"You need to stop doing this.. You're going to get scabs, you made yourself bleed.." Karkat muttered, having now removed his hands from Gamzee's hair, resting his forehead against the crown of his head. He let out a soft sigh, Gamzee quickly following suit. "You know, you're worth a lot more than you think.."
"Mm..?"
"You may not think so, but you mean a lot to people.. More people than you think.." Karkat murmured to him through the dark strands of hair blocking his mouth. They came out muffled, but they still made Gamzee wince. Frowning, he shook his head, jostling Karkat's as he did so.
"No I don't.. Nobody but you up and takes care of a brother. Only one that would motherfuckin' miss me, anyways.." Gamzee muttered. Karkat wrapped his arms around him with crushing force, shaking his head and pressing it harder against the top of his head. One of the most pitiful whimpers escaped his lips. Gamzee quickly returned the hug, rocking back and forth slightly and stroking Karkat's back.
"No, no, no.. Don't all up and get your cry on again, Karbro, it'll make my wicked eyes start to leak.." Gamzee muttered into his shirt, giving him a soft squeeze. Karkat returned it, and after taking a few gentle breaths, managed to compose himself. The two remained like that for a while, Gamzee slowly starting to feel better as he felt the warmth of a body against his, and knew that it was only meant to be reassuring. There was no invasion of the unwanted, no violation, not yelling and begging for everything to stop. Just comfort, and a feeling of safety Gamzee had long since forgotten.
"Hey Gamzee.."
"Yeah, best friend..?"
"You wanna.. You wanna get some icecream?" Karkat questioned him in an almost meek tone, pressing his face harder against the top of Gamzee's head. He only grinned though, nodding and pulling away to look at Karkat.
"I'd motherfuckin love some icecream, bro." He said, making Karkat give off that soft, rare smile that Gamzee loved so much. After a few moments of silence, Gamzee raised a pointy finger and tapped it against the tip of his companions round nose. "Well, c'mon then man. Let's get this motherfuckin show on the road, I'm starving!" Karkat let out a chuckle, swatting at his hand before pushing himself into a standing position. He offered a hand to Gamzee, he gratefully took it, and helped him onto his feet. He was startled when Gamzee didn't let go of it though, instead lacing the fingers together and grinning down at his short friend. Gamzee was nearly 6'4, and was about a foot taller than his friend, the height-difference making their friendship seem almost comedic at times.
"Hope a brother doesn't up and mind. I could go for a lil' hand holding is all." Gamzee said, that usual lazy smile still spread across his lips as he started for the stairs that lead down to the lobby of the complex, Karkat being dragged along the whole way.
"N-no.. It's fine.." Karkat muttered, his cheeks turning a darker shade of grey than they normally are. He was blushing. So motherfucking cute. Gamzee grinned wider, running the pointer finger on his free hand over his soft cheek, watching the color darken even more so. "What the fuck, Gamzee?!" He snapped, swatting at his hand. He was starting to slip back into his normal, I'm-going-out-in-public attitude, the change in behavior obvious the farther down the monotone stairwell they went. Before reaching the door into the lobby though, Karkat stopped.
"Don't.. Nobody knows about any of that." Karkat muttered, not daring to look up at his friend as he untangled his plush fingers from Gamzee's rough, sharp-edged ones. He only nodded to Karkat, reaching his hand up and patting him on the head. Karkat glanced up at him through the fringe of his hair, which sometimes managed to fall into his face. Straightening out the iron grey locks, which had been mussed up in what was probably distress over seeing his best friend standing on the edge of a fifteen story building.
"My lips are sealed, Karbro." Gamzee said, smiling at him softly. Karkat only nodded, before slipping out of the door of the stairwell, quickly ushering Gamzee out of the glass doors at the front of the building. They both assessed where the closest icecream shop would be, before they started off down the sidewalk.
"What flavor are you gonna up and get, bro?"
"What the fuck do you think. Chocolate, asshat, it's what I always get."
"Can I eat the cone?"
"Again, you're acting like we've never gone to a fucking icecream shop together. You know I hate cones, of course. Jesus.."
"Thanks Karkat.."
"For what?" Gamzee paused, stopping and smiling down at his worn converse. He had been told once they were purple, though he didn't understand the meaning. Purple was just another word for something he would never know truly.
"Making me feel like I belong."